I Hope You All Got A Rush From Posting Things I Liked.

It's 2:30 AM...

and I'm feeling a bit down, so I'm watching funny videos on YouTube in another window.  But the nagging feeling of something missing is twisting me up inside, and I want to feel a semblance of normalcy.     

Criticism of Life

My suicide note, if I were ever to commit suicide, that is. But I don't like taking the easy way out. Behold, my poem. Criticism of Life To whom it may concern, and it may not concern anyone, not even you. I am alone in my madness, my thoughts give voice to my trigger finger, my aim is true. A pause before death, my escape from emotion, I have no doubts. I stare down the barrel of my .45, I have no means to go on living. I have no fear, I have no hesitation, I have no want for a memorable speech, I have no tears. This is no more philosophic than history, my life will not live on in books, I wish to not be remembered. My aim is true, it's my time, I am ready. My heart holds no fear, it too is ready. I give my last breath, a click, a shot, a smile, a moment in time. Pity to the one who finds me.

Marilyn Monroe, 1960 - captured by Eve Arnold.

Mu-hmmmm

Mini compilation of Jodie Comer not getting over Eve stabbing Villanelle

Dear Genevieve

I want you to know that you’re on my mind.  You are loved, cared about, worried about, and cried over.  I want you.  I need you.  I desire you.

You are not even a being that I can hold in my arms, and I ache for you.  I ache for you because I want to be your mother.  The ache in my heart for you may not be enough to make you real, and that breaks my heart.

You need to know that I’m fighting for you, my love.  I’m fighting so hard that I feel this tightness of urgency.  I want you to be real, but I realize that I can’t force you into being of this world.  Your father is scared, and I don’t know how to comfort him.  I don’t know how to protect him from his valid fears.

Know that you are wanted, but fears can push you back and make you evaluate what you want for your future.  I want you so damn much that I’m forgetting your father has feelings, and I need to respect them.  I want him to want you like I want you.

I’m praying to God that if you are to be real, then to please put the desire of you in his heart.  Or if you are not to be, then take the desire from mine.

You will always be wanted, you will always be loved, you will always be on my mind.

Mom

He asked, "are you satisfied yet?" "More," she whispered.

My Girl

She sat emotionless in the bed. The people around her were Vultures, although she was Okay with that, and didn't dread.

Deadly

She sat emotionless in the white room, As the vultures with the cure Preyed upon her between her legs. Eyes closed, she imagined doom.

Deadly

She sat in a bright room; mind twirling. There were others like her in That bright room, recovering, knowing Well their souls were swirling.

Deadly

She sat in the car; a shell. Watching the world pass by She thought to herself, When she would be going to Hell.

Deadly.

Sinner.

No Regrets.

Chameleon

I'm different faces for different people, and at the end of the day my personalities are exhausted.

It's 3am...

And I'm missing my husband. He's on a business trip, and I'm in need. I'm wanton, craving his smell, touch, his sweat, his fingers, his cock, his rough and stubbled chin teasing me.....down there.