💜𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓💜

Holy shit! I can't believe this mod has a cutscene of Sebby proposing to you. 😳😍😭

I clicked the 2nd option. Don't want my character be dramatic if I click the 1st option. (˘･_･˘)

Seriously?! Right infront of the whole town. Tbh Farmer Aleia much prefer a private proposal, but oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The writing is good though.

Sheeesh Seb, with the amount of spicy scenes I've seen with you and my Farmer Aleia. I wouldn't be surprised if its more than riding on a bike is what you guys do. 😂

Mod: "Maggs Immersive Sebastian Dialogue and Custom Events Spicy or Sweet" by MaggPlays

When your Farmer is in a loving relationship with a Vanilla NPC and then you noticed an attractive NPC from an expansion mod. Now I, as the player, have this dilemma about whether I should divorce my character's husband, sacrifice my children, wipe my husband's memory of our relationship and hook up with this fine specimen. (๑•﹏•)

"The great power of C.H.E.A.T."

The next story is about May (@poxy-domain OC farmer) teaching Julian how to use a secret magic only available to the farmers of the Stardew Valley :D Humour, crack and a bit of breaking the fourth wall. Heh 😀

**********************************************

"All treasures will be yours. The most delicious meals that even rich brats from Amethyne rarely have will be on your dinner table. Forgotten blades and rings. You will have power over men. You'll have everything - you'll get anything you want, you'll be able to go anywhere you want!"

Julian had been listening to May's story for half an hour, when she had decided to tell him about a forbidden magic that was not known to humans, elves, dwarves, or shadow people. Both of his gem-coloured eyes - the left the colour of aquamarine, the right like a pure emerald - looked at the girl who stood on the wooden crate and told him the secrets, gesticulating vigorously. Julian listened to May's every word, intrigued, fascinated, he couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Fascinating.... And what is the name of this spell?" The blond-haired boy asked a little more quietly. The girl looked at him and smiled enigmatically, she was obviously waiting for her friend to ask this question.

"C.H.E.A.T." May answered loudly and proudly.

"Huh? Cheat?" He asked.

"No, not cheat, but C.H.E.A.T. Did you get that?" May spelled it.

The young man was already bouncing slightly with impatience. What does that mean? Forgotten magic? Even Magnus doesn't know about it?

He asked again:

"What this stand for?"

"Hell if I know." The dark-haired farmer jumped down from the box and rubbed her palms together in anticipation. "Shall we get started?"

"Wait-wait-wait!" Julian rambled on. "Shouldn't we prepare before we cast a spell?"

May laughed good-naturedly at the panicked notes in her friend's voice.

"No, silly. This magic, this ability to cast this spells, has already been in every farmer since the beginning of our arrival in the Valley.... In me," She pointed a finger at herself. "In you," The finger was now pointed at Julian. "You'll understand the first time you try it. All we need to do it's focus on the object you want and say "debug command". I'll show you."

Julian nodded to his friend, and took two steps back, giving her space to demonstrate.

May closed her eyes and brought her two palms together again. A stream of magical energy formed around her and swirled around the girl like the wind swirling autumn leaves. Unbeknownst to him, symbols formed above her head, the girl uttered monotonously.

"Debug.... Command..."

In an instant, several large purple chests formed near May's feet, which were completely stuffed with treasures, gold and precious stones. The magic flow disappeared, the girl opened her eyes and smiled triumphantly when she saw Julian's surprised face.

"Wow!" the young man uttered, seeing May proudly step over the golden slides to approach him.

"See? Now it's your turn."

Julian nodded, closed his eyes, and tried to focus on his thoughts. Slowly, a similar magical flow surrounded him, just as it had surrounded May a few minutes ago.

"Debug... Command!"

In one moment, a large tied bag immediately formed at Julian's feet. He bent down to the bag on the ground and carefully untied it, still not fully believing that it was a real object and not an illusion. May wondered what Julian had conjured up for himself. A dozen prismatic shards, as beautiful as the sky, fell to the ground from the untied bag. Julian's pupils dilated at the sight of the beautiful shiny stones.

"Good. Very good," like a proud teacher who rejoices in the success of her talented student, May gave her verdict and patted her friend on the shoulder.

"You need to know that, in addition to conjuring items, we can also move to any place we want," The dark-haired girl stood next to Julian. "Don't go far, I'm about to read the spell."

Julian did not move, waited patiently and watched as his friend and fellow farmer read the spell again.

There was a flash of energy, for a moment there was nothing but darkness in front of his eyes, and in another moment, they were standing on a sandy beach.

"So, this is Ginger Island," May began to shake the sand off her shoes while Julian, as if struck by lightning, stared mesmerised at the crystal clear sea water. So clear that it was easy to see all the fish and other sea life!

"Okay, let's move to another place," Once again, May read a spell, after which they both found themselves on top of a volcano. The heat from the lava was so unbearable that even the air was burning hot. It was a little difficult to breathe.

No sooner had the blond-haired young man commented on the place itself or the strange forge than a figure formed behind them. A tall beautiful man, with pink hair and a blue cloak. The man opened his mouth and wanted to say something, but upon seeing the two people, he immediately closed his mouth again. Apparently, he didn't expect to see strangers here.

Julian waved his hand at the mysterious man while May cast the spell again.

"Okay, too early for us to meet him yet. Let's move on."

After another teleportation, Julian realised that this time he and May were in the middle of a sandstorm. Sand was flying in their faces, nothing could be seen.

"If I pronounced the coordinates correctly, we're now in the Crimson Baldlans. At least, according to Wiki," May tried her best to shout over the howling wind to get her words across to Julian standing next to her. Admittedly, the girl quickly regretted it when sand got into her mouth.

"Who's Wiki?," Julian didn't know if May had heard his question or not because of this blasted storm.

"Ugh! That bloody sand!" The girl, cursing, began to read the spell again. A second later, they found themselves on top of a wall that was in the same wasteland.

"Well, at least here there wouldn't be sand flying into their eyes". She sighed. "So what did you tell-"

"What in the name of Yoba is going on here!?" May didn't have time to finish before she was interrupted by the shocked voice of the woman, who stood there looking at the two strangers as if they were aliens. Julian and May were stared at, in addition to the archer, by several other pairs of similarly surprised eyes from beneath their brown hoods.

"Invaders!", The man with the scarred face drew his sword, preparing to attack the poor farmers. The girl with the bow and the others also bared their weapons, someone even started reciting magic spells. Realising that the two self-taught mages were in trouble, May quickly grabbed Julian's hand and read the spell, already for the last time.

Poof! And they were back on the peaceful and tranquil farm again.

"Phew, that was close..." The girl sighed tiredly. "I think that's enough magic lessons for today."

Smiling at Julian, who was still in a state of shock, May let go of his hand.

"So, do you want to learn more C.H.E.A.T. magic?"

Julian slowly turned to face his friend, and nodded just as slowly. The adventure had scared him a little, but his curiosity and boyish desire for fun were greater than his fear. May smiled radiantly, already anticipating the mischief they both would cause for the Valley's residents.

After SVE 2.0 Update...

Isaac: Look I'm not in love with Farmer. I like them just as much as that next monster I killed.

Lance: .... ಠ◡ಠ

Isaac: I mean, I clearly have feelings for them, but feelings don't mean love.

Jadu: .... ಠಿ_ಠ

Isaac: Do I have feelings for Farmer? Sure! But that doesn't mean that I.... I-! Oh mygawd! I'm inlove with Farmer!

Alesia: .... (눈‸눈)

Isaac: *slams desk* Why didn't you tell me!

Lance: *chuckles* We thought you knew.

Isaac: Wha-! WE!? (●__●)

Camilla: We all knew. We talk about it all the time. (๑¯◡¯๑)

~IsaacXFarmer on a date, after SVE 2.0~

Farmer: *gives a bouquet to Isaac* Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet and so are you.

Isaac: Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Farmer: Just take the damn flowers.

How my Stardew Farmers meet Lance

Aleia: *finally reach the volcano top* Damn fucking magma sprites! *swats the fire out from her hat*

Lance: *appears*

Aleia: What the-! *points her galaxy sword at Lance, thinks his an enemy* Who are you?

Lance: Not to worry, Aleia. I'm just a friend.

Aleia: You know my name?

Lance: Yes. I’ve heard a lot about you, Aleia. Marlon speaks highly of your caliber as an adventurer.

Aleia: *laughs* Marlon does love to tell a good story.

🍎

Rosemary: *too tired to even bother once she reached the top volcano*

Lance: *appears*

Rosemary: *groans in frustration and chucks a bomb at Lance thinking its a monster*

Lance: *uses levitation to stop the bomb landing on him, chuckles* Rosemary, calm down. I'm just a friend.

Rosemary: *snaps out of it* Oh shot! I'm sorry! I thought your just some monster like the ones from the volcano dungeons.

Lance: Understandable. *chuckles* Few adventurers have scaled Mount Kohldur, once a great dwarf kingdom. Your achievement is a testament to your ambition and perseverance.

Rosemary: Well it was hard to get passed through those monsters.

🌺

Cerise: *reach the top volcano, after passing all the floors with ease*

Lance: *appears*

Cerise: *with instinct, throws a galaxy dagger at him*

Lance: *blocks it with a magic shield, chuckles* Fast reflexes. Impressive

Cerise: You must be Lance. My sister talks about you.

Lance: She does?

🌼

Thalia: *reach the top volcano a bit unscathed, eats icecream to replenish her health* Finally I'm here!

Lance: *appears*

Thalia: *eyes narrowed, hands clinch to her weapon* Wait. Aren't that hot guy from the volcano. That my friend, Rosemary talks about.

Lance: *chuckles* I did meet her at this very volcano, yes. I hope I'm not startling you.

Thalia: Meh

Hey guys! I just uploaded a new chapter “Caldarus's Accidental Guide to Wooing a Farmer” Here’s a sneak peek:

“You’re catching on fast.” she admitted, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Maybe you won’t burn the kitchen down after all.”

Caldarus let out a low hum, his voice laced with dry amusement. “Your faith in me is truly touching. Should I take that as encouragement?”

“Take it as a miracle.” she shot back without missing a beat.

After finishing the prep, they moved on to the stove, where Isaria began explaining how to handle the cauldron properly. “Just a simple simmer. No excessive flames, no magical shortcuts, just patience.”

Caldarus nodded, setting the fire beneath the cauldron with measured control. Everything seemed to be going well until Isaria turned away for a mere moment to grab another ingredient. Before he could respond, a sudden boom shook the room, sending a burst of smoke billowing from the other side of the kitchen. Isaria whipped around, eyes widening at the sight of the cauldron, now engulfed in flames. “Oh, for the love of—! Caldarus! What did you do?!”

“I followed the steps exactly as you instructed.” he said, though his gaze flicked between the fire and her with mild concern.

Here's the link of the fic:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63931303/chapters/163977091

Caldarus, my dear, you just woke up from your eternal sleep and THIS is what’s happening?? I know you’re an immortal dragon guardian, but I also know you can still feel pain, yet here you are, unable to cook, brushing your hair with a tree branch, and eating random objects to regain your memories. Please, I am begging you, let me take care of you before you accidentally speedrun your own downfall. 😭💀

so like out of all the dialogue i've gotten from caldarus, he:

can't cook for shit. he burns fried rice and his noodles turn black. his cakes will not rise

had a Caffeine incident

struggles with having long hair, gets leaves tangled in it and used to brush it with his claws. switched to a pine branch because "it's faster"

in an attempt to regain his memories he's grinding literally everything he finds and eating it

thinks that if he had wings in this form it would make it difficult to sleep in bed

hopeless at organizing all his damn scrolls (he swears hes not a messy person though please believe him)

is a Fabric Freak™

Farmer: *can't find Sebastian in town*

Farmer: Dammit! I can't find him anywhere. This calls for drastic measures.

Farmer: *inhales and uses hand as a microphone* THE FARMER SUCKS!!!

Sebastian: *comes out from his room basement* THE FUCK-

Shane: *across JojaMart Bldg* DID YOU-

Sam: *crashes through the window using his skateboard* JUST-

Other Marriage Candidates: SAY!

Farmer: Eeek, that worked a little too well...

Other Townspeople: *others find this amusing, annoying or secretly recording the scene from the start and post it on their social media*