Caldarus, My Dear, You Just Woke Up From Your Eternal Sleep And THIS Is What’s Happening?? I Know You’re

I don't know if I'm being late to notice this in the new update. When I had my farmer attend the Luau Festival on the beach, I couldn't help but notice that everything looked different. The NPC's have changed their spots, and the Luau Potluck has switched places with the dance floor. Though it took me some time to notice the change, I have to admit that I really like the new arrangement! 😮✨🏖️🍲

"The great power of C.H.E.A.T."

The next story is about May (@poxy-domain OC farmer) teaching Julian how to use a secret magic only available to the farmers of the Stardew Valley :D Humour, crack and a bit of breaking the fourth wall. Heh 😀

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"All treasures will be yours. The most delicious meals that even rich brats from Amethyne rarely have will be on your dinner table. Forgotten blades and rings. You will have power over men. You'll have everything - you'll get anything you want, you'll be able to go anywhere you want!"

Julian had been listening to May's story for half an hour, when she had decided to tell him about a forbidden magic that was not known to humans, elves, dwarves, or shadow people. Both of his gem-coloured eyes - the left the colour of aquamarine, the right like a pure emerald - looked at the girl who stood on the wooden crate and told him the secrets, gesticulating vigorously. Julian listened to May's every word, intrigued, fascinated, he couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Fascinating.... And what is the name of this spell?" The blond-haired boy asked a little more quietly. The girl looked at him and smiled enigmatically, she was obviously waiting for her friend to ask this question.

"C.H.E.A.T." May answered loudly and proudly.

"Huh? Cheat?" He asked.

"No, not cheat, but C.H.E.A.T. Did you get that?" May spelled it.

The young man was already bouncing slightly with impatience. What does that mean? Forgotten magic? Even Magnus doesn't know about it?

He asked again:

"What this stand for?"

"Hell if I know." The dark-haired farmer jumped down from the box and rubbed her palms together in anticipation. "Shall we get started?"

"Wait-wait-wait!" Julian rambled on. "Shouldn't we prepare before we cast a spell?"

May laughed good-naturedly at the panicked notes in her friend's voice.

"No, silly. This magic, this ability to cast this spells, has already been in every farmer since the beginning of our arrival in the Valley.... In me," She pointed a finger at herself. "In you," The finger was now pointed at Julian. "You'll understand the first time you try it. All we need to do it's focus on the object you want and say "debug command". I'll show you."

Julian nodded to his friend, and took two steps back, giving her space to demonstrate.

May closed her eyes and brought her two palms together again. A stream of magical energy formed around her and swirled around the girl like the wind swirling autumn leaves. Unbeknownst to him, symbols formed above her head, the girl uttered monotonously.

"Debug.... Command..."

In an instant, several large purple chests formed near May's feet, which were completely stuffed with treasures, gold and precious stones. The magic flow disappeared, the girl opened her eyes and smiled triumphantly when she saw Julian's surprised face.

"Wow!" the young man uttered, seeing May proudly step over the golden slides to approach him.

"See? Now it's your turn."

Julian nodded, closed his eyes, and tried to focus on his thoughts. Slowly, a similar magical flow surrounded him, just as it had surrounded May a few minutes ago.

"Debug... Command!"

In one moment, a large tied bag immediately formed at Julian's feet. He bent down to the bag on the ground and carefully untied it, still not fully believing that it was a real object and not an illusion. May wondered what Julian had conjured up for himself. A dozen prismatic shards, as beautiful as the sky, fell to the ground from the untied bag. Julian's pupils dilated at the sight of the beautiful shiny stones.

"Good. Very good," like a proud teacher who rejoices in the success of her talented student, May gave her verdict and patted her friend on the shoulder.

"You need to know that, in addition to conjuring items, we can also move to any place we want," The dark-haired girl stood next to Julian. "Don't go far, I'm about to read the spell."

Julian did not move, waited patiently and watched as his friend and fellow farmer read the spell again.

There was a flash of energy, for a moment there was nothing but darkness in front of his eyes, and in another moment, they were standing on a sandy beach.

"So, this is Ginger Island," May began to shake the sand off her shoes while Julian, as if struck by lightning, stared mesmerised at the crystal clear sea water. So clear that it was easy to see all the fish and other sea life!

"Okay, let's move to another place," Once again, May read a spell, after which they both found themselves on top of a volcano. The heat from the lava was so unbearable that even the air was burning hot. It was a little difficult to breathe.

No sooner had the blond-haired young man commented on the place itself or the strange forge than a figure formed behind them. A tall beautiful man, with pink hair and a blue cloak. The man opened his mouth and wanted to say something, but upon seeing the two people, he immediately closed his mouth again. Apparently, he didn't expect to see strangers here.

Julian waved his hand at the mysterious man while May cast the spell again.

"Okay, too early for us to meet him yet. Let's move on."

After another teleportation, Julian realised that this time he and May were in the middle of a sandstorm. Sand was flying in their faces, nothing could be seen.

"If I pronounced the coordinates correctly, we're now in the Crimson Baldlans. At least, according to Wiki," May tried her best to shout over the howling wind to get her words across to Julian standing next to her. Admittedly, the girl quickly regretted it when sand got into her mouth.

"Who's Wiki?," Julian didn't know if May had heard his question or not because of this blasted storm.

"Ugh! That bloody sand!" The girl, cursing, began to read the spell again. A second later, they found themselves on top of a wall that was in the same wasteland.

"Well, at least here there wouldn't be sand flying into their eyes". She sighed. "So what did you tell-"

"What in the name of Yoba is going on here!?" May didn't have time to finish before she was interrupted by the shocked voice of the woman, who stood there looking at the two strangers as if they were aliens. Julian and May were stared at, in addition to the archer, by several other pairs of similarly surprised eyes from beneath their brown hoods.

"Invaders!", The man with the scarred face drew his sword, preparing to attack the poor farmers. The girl with the bow and the others also bared their weapons, someone even started reciting magic spells. Realising that the two self-taught mages were in trouble, May quickly grabbed Julian's hand and read the spell, already for the last time.

Poof! And they were back on the peaceful and tranquil farm again.

"Phew, that was close..." The girl sighed tiredly. "I think that's enough magic lessons for today."

Smiling at Julian, who was still in a state of shock, May let go of his hand.

"So, do you want to learn more C.H.E.A.T. magic?"

Julian slowly turned to face his friend, and nodded just as slowly. The adventure had scared him a little, but his curiosity and boyish desire for fun were greater than his fear. May smiled radiantly, already anticipating the mischief they both would cause for the Valley's residents.

Bruh why does he look like Lucas from WMMAP!? 😳

I was just messing with the Wizard's hairstyles in RRRR mod. And when I checked to see his portrait, I nearly have heartattack. If you can just squint a little and imagine Magnus in Lucas's color palette. You get what I mean.

What is up with me finding older wizards attractive

Ahhhh I wish I could date and marry you but I can't. I'm married and have 2 kids. Don't worry there's going to be another farmer for you.

When you think you've finally settled on the NPC you want to marry, but then you meet another interesting character and suddenly want to pursue them too. You’re curious about their story, but your heart won’t let you divorce your current spouse—so you start a new save file. Then another. Each one with a different farmer OC, each with their own love interest and story. Before you know it, you've built an entire farming game world where your OCs coexist. And now, every time you find another NPC attractive, you have to create yet another OC, complete with a backstory, personality, and design… until it becomes a full-blown creative headache. 😵

Summary: Just my Farmer Aleia, fishing on the beach and is accompanied by her husband, Sebastian. They spend a peaceful moment together on the dock.

The sun was setting over the ocean, casting a warm golden hue on the water and the soft sands of the beach. Aleia, a farmer who had traded her plow for a fishing rod, was settled on the dock, her line cast out into the gently lapping waves.

Beside her, her husband Sebastian reclined lazily on a weathered wooden bench, enjoying the sound of the waves and the salty sea breeze. He smiled as he watched his wife concentrate on her fishing, enjoying the peaceful moment together in the beautiful setting.

Aleia felt Sebastian's gaze on her and glanced over at him with a smile. "I can't concentrate with you staring at me like that." she teased, but there was no annoyance in her voice, only affection.

Sebastian chuckled, his eyes sparkling. "I can't help it." he said. "You look lovely in the sunlight, and I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be than here with you."

Aleia blushed at his words, feeling a flutter in her heart. "You're such a flirt." she said, but there was no hiding the happiness in her tone.

"And you love it." Sebastian replied, winking at her. He shifted closer to her, leaning on the dock rail, and put his arm around her shoulders. "Any luck with the fishing yet?", he asked as he nuzzled her hair gently, inhaling her familiar scent.

Aleia leaned into his embrace, feeling safe and secure in his arms. "Not yet." she said, sighing contentedly. "But I have a feeling the bite is coming soon."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, watching the lazy patterns of the waves and the last rays of the setting sun. Then suddenly, Aleia's line jerked, and she tensed up in excitement.

"I've got something!" she exclaimed, her eyes fixed on the bobbing line. "I think it's a big one!"

Sebastian leaned closer, resting his chin on her shoulder as they both watched the line. "Come on, you can do it." he whispered encouragingly, his breath warm on her ear.

Aleia gritted her teeth and pulled back on the line, trying to reel in the catch. The fish fought hard, pulling against the line and making it difficult to bring it in. "It's strong!" she gasped, putting all her strength into the battle.

"You've got it." Sebastian encouraged, his arm tightening around her in support. "Keep going, you're almost there."

With one more mighty tug, Aleia managed to bring the fish up out of the water, holding it up triumphantly. It was a large, feisty-looking tuna, its scales glistening in the fading sunlight.

Sebastian let out a whistle of appreciation. "Wow, that's a whopper!" he said, admiring the fish. "Looks like we're having a nice dinner tonight."

Aleia beamed, feeling a sense of pride in her catch. "I told you I could do it." she said, smiling at Sebastian.

He chuckled and shook his head. "I never doubted you for a second." he said, kissing her forehead.

They stayed on the dock for a little while longer, watching the sun dip below the horizon and the stars begin to twinkle above them. Aleia leaned against Sebastian's chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

They were content to simply be in each other's company, sharing the peace and tranquility of the moment as the waves gently lapped at the shore.

Hours passed, Aleia and Sebastian packed up their fishing gear and made their way back to their farm, still holding hands. As they approached the house, they could hear the sounds of their two kids playing in the fields.

The sun had set completely by now, and the stars shone brightly overhead as they walked towards the house. As they got closer, their kids spotted them and ran over to greet them, excited for their return.

Aleia scooped up her son and swung him around, while Sebastian lifted their daughter up in his arms. The kids chattered excitedly about their day, telling their parents all about what they had done while they were gone.

As Aleia listened to her children's stories, she couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment and gratitude. She looked over at Sebastian, who was listening to their son with a smile on his face, and she knew that she had everything she needed right here, on their small but cozy farm.

Me: *spots a ridiculously hot elf man* Ooooh, a new NPC to add to my collection.

Brain: *sighs* You do realize this means making another farmer OC, right?

Me: *eyes sparkling* I don’t care. He’s so hot. Like Jio with tattoos. Approachable, mysterious, and an elf who seems like he’d hold a conversation instead of just brooding. But hey- Jio’s still my ultimate elf man. Loyalty matters. This guy’s just... bonus content.

Brain: Ma’am. You already have six farmer OCs. SIX. It took you an hour to make your last one just because you wanted to romance that gridball player for that immersive mod!

Me: *shrugs* Yeah, but I haven’t made a farmer with jet black hair or brunette yet.

Brain: And you’re forgetting you’ve got perfectly good farmer designs reserved for a certain mean cold adventurer.

Me: *glaring* Shut. Up. I’m taking this elf man.

Brain: *deadpan* You should really download that Free Love mod.

Me: *thinks* Nah, I’m a one-romance-at-a-time kind of player.

Brain: Uh-huh. You do realize you’re about to create a whole new OC backstory, right?

Me: *staring into the distance, deep in thought* Shuuush... already thinking of a new farmer design.

Brain: Unbelievable. Truly, unbelievable.

Tohtalem OC: Progress!

I finally got our Elf to load in game with a custom map/location and a couple of events! My friend and I will be filling in more dialogue and events over the next few weeks, I'm just so happy the base character is done!!

First week, no-heart dialogue

Summary: Just March teaching my OC Farmer Velvet how to use the forge until things started to get a bit heated and awkward.

Warning: Slight NSFW

The sounds of metallic clanging and crackling fires fill the air from the forge, creating a chaotic symphony that grabs your attention. The air is thick with the scent of smoke and burning wood, and the light of the fires from within the place casts a warm glow on the surrounding area. Amidst all this, March stands in the center, teaching Velvet the basics of forging.

March sighed as he watched Velvet struggle to hammer the metal. She was doing it all wrong, and he knew it. "No, no, no. You're doing it all wrong." he said, stepping over to her. Velvet looked up at him, a mix of frustration and determination on her face. "I'm trying my best." she said, a hint of irritation in her voice. March rolled his eyes. "Your best isn't good enough." he said bluntly. "Let me show you how it's done."

He moved close to her, positioning himself behind her. He placed his hands over hers, guiding her through the motions. "You have to hold it like this." he said gruffly, his breath warm on her ear.

Velvet felt a shiver run down her spine at the sudden closeness. She tried to focus on the instruction, but it was difficult with him so close. She could feel the heat radiating from his body, and the scent of his sweat and metal was oddly intoxicating.

"Now hit it." March said, his hands still covering hers. "Harder than that. Put your weight into it."

Velvet hit the metal again, but this time, she hit it harder than before, and it made a satisfying clang. "Good." March said, a hint of approval in his voice. He leaned in even closer, his chest pressed against her back. "Again. Do it again."

The farmer repeated the motion, feeling his warm breath on her neck. His body was pressed against hers, and she could feel every muscle, every contour. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. "Like this?" she managed to ask, her voice a bit breathless.

"Yeah." March said roughly. "Just like that." He was so close, she could feel his heart beating against her back. "You're getting the hang of it now." he said, loosening his grip on her hands. "Try it on your own."

Velvet took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She started to hammer the metal, but her mind was elsewhere. She could still feel the heat of his body against hers, the smell of his sweat. And then, without warning, her hand slipped and the hammer hit her thumb. "Ah shit!" she yelped, jerking away involuntarily.

March swore under his breath. "Dammit, be more careful." he said, grabbing her hand to inspect the injury. "You idiot, you could have broken your thumb."

He examined her thumb, his touch gentle despite his gruff words. His fingers were calloused but warm, and the touch sent another shiver down her spine. "It's not broken." he said, more quietly. "Just bruised."

Velvet tried to pull her hand back, but he held on. "You shouldn't be so careless." he reprimanded, his fingers still gently holding hers in his palm.

Velvet swallowed hard, feeling a flutter in her stomach. His touch was sending strange sensations through her body. "I'm sorry." she mumbled, looking away from his intense gaze. "I was just...distracted."

He grunted. "Distracted, huh?" He looked down at her, those dark onyx eyes staring right into hers. "Care to tell me what you were so distracted by?"

Feeling a bit flustered. "N-nothing." Velvet said, trying to sound casual but she sounded flustered. "Just...just the heat in here, that's all."

March raised an eyebrow, a knowing look in his eyes. "The heat, huh?" He leaned in closer, his face mere inches from hers. "You sure that's all it is? Nothing else?"

She could feel the heat radiating off his body, the scent of sweat and metal making it harder for her to think straight. "What...what else could it be?" she asked weakly, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Well, whatever it is, you better keep your mind on what you're doing." He released her hand, but his body was still pressed close to hers. "Now, try this again, and make sure you're paying attention this time."

Velvet tried to compose herself, taking a deep breath as she picked up the hammer and tried to concentrate on the task, but her mind kept wandering back to the way his body was so close to hers, the way his breath felt on her neck. She managed to hit the metal a few more times, but her mind was a jumble of thoughts and sensations.

March watched her intently, his eyes raking over her body. He could sense her distraction, the way her hands trembled slightly, the way her breath caught in her throat every time he got close. It was like a game of cat and mouse, and he was the cat, toying with her. He moved closer, his chest brushing against her back again. "Concentrate." he rumbled into her ear. "You're losing focus again."

She took another shaky breath. He was so close, she could almost feel his heartbeat against her back. His voice in her ear was making her feel things she had never felt before. She couldn't focus, couldn't think. All she could feel was the heat of his body, the strength in his muscles, the way he was so casually dominating her personal space.

He let his hand rest on her hip, as if to steady her. "Relax." he muttered, his breath warm on her neck. "You're too tense. You have to be loose, loose like the hammer in your hand."

His hand on her hip sent a shiver through her body. She could feel the callouses on his fingers, the warmth of his palm through her clothes. He was so strong, so confident, so sure of himself. How was he so unaffected by their closeness, when she was struggling to keep herself together?

"Like this." March said, guiding her hand again. "Keep your grip loose, let the hammer swing freely. Don't fight it, just let it flow."

March stands behind her, "Can you feel it?" he whispered. "The rhythm, the motion?"

Velvet's mind is swimming. He was too close, too distracting. His voice in her ear, his hands on hers, his body pressed against hers...it was all too much. She tried to focus on the hammer, the metal, the task at hand, but all she could feel was him. "Y-yes." she managed to stammer, her throat dry.

He chuckled, a low deep rumble in his chest. "Good." he said, his voice rough. "You're starting to get it. Keep going, let it flow."

March stepped even closer, letting his body press against hers. She could feel the heat radiating off him, the hardness of his muscles against her back. He seemed completely oblivious to the effect he was having on her, but she was struggling to stay grounded.

Her heart was racing, her mind spinning. Every inch of her body was hyper-aware of his presence, his touch, his scent. Velvet could feel the sweat trickling down her neck, could feel the heat building up inside her. And all the while, he kept murmuring instructions in her ear, completely oblivious to the fact that he was driving her insane.

March guide her through a few more motions, his hands on hers, his breath on her neck, his body pressed against hers. "There you go." he said, his voice a low rumble. "Just like that. You're doing it. Just relax, and let it flow."

Velvet only nodded, trying to focus on his words and not the way his body was making her feel. But it was difficult, so difficult. Every part of her was screaming with want, with need, with a desperation she had never felt before. And he was blissfully unaware, just continuing to guide her through the motions, his hands on hers, his body so close.

Unknown to the farmer, the blacksmith is not faring any better.

As they continued working together, March grew increasingly aware of the electricity that was crackling between them. He could feel the heat of her skin through her clothes, could smell the scent of her hair, and felt the way her body reacted to his slightest touch. It was maddening, the way she responded to him without realizing it. But he tried to keep his cool, tried to focus on the task at hand, and ignore the way his heart thumped in his chest whenever he was close to her.

He tried to concentrate on the metal, on the hammer, on the task at hand. But it was difficult, with her so close, so tangible. He could count the tiny wisps of hair on the nape of her neck, could feel her quickening breaths. He was a blacksmith, a professional, he couldn't afford to let himself be distracted by a pretty farmer. But she was making it hard, so damn hard. He clenched his jaw, and forced himself to focus on the lesson.

He guided her through another swing, his hand on hers. "Just like that." he said, his voice gravelly. "Loose, easy. Don't fight it."

March's mind is now a jumble of conflicting thoughts and emotions. He was a grown man, for gods' sake. He was not supposed to be this affected by a woman. Especially not a farmer. But she drove him mad, made his heart race and his body feel things it hadn't felt in a long time. And the worst part was, he was pretty sure she had no idea what she was doing to him.

He took a deep breath, trying to get his emotions under control again. He could feel the heat between them, the tension in the air, like a live wire. And she was just there, so close, so unguarded, so deliciously vulnerable. He had to get a grip. He was supposed to be teaching her, not lusting after her. But damn, it was so hard when she was standing there, her back against his chest, her body molded to his.

Minutes have past as the lesson came to an end, March reluctantly released his grip on Velvet's hand. He took a step back, trying to regain his composure. His heart was still racing, his body still yearning for her closeness. But he forced himself to act nonchalant, like a blacksmith should be.

"You did well." he grunted, running his fingers through his hair. "Not too shabby, for a farmer."

Velvet looked up at him, her cheeks flushed. "Thank you" she murmured. "I...I had a good teacher."

March looked away, feeling flustered by the praise. He wasn't used to compliments, especially not from beautiful women. "It was nothing." he muttered, scratching his neck. "You've got potential. You just need to keep practicing."

There was an awkward silence, both of them feeling the aftermath of their closeness. They stood there, a few feet apart, avoiding each other's gazes. March could still feel the heat from her body, could still smell the scent of her hair. He was tempted to reach out and touch her again, to pull her close and hold her tight. But instead, he just grunted and turned away, walking over to his workbench.

"You should probably go." he said gruffly, busying himself with some tools. "You've got crops to tend to, or whatever it is farmers do."

Velvet nodded, her heart still racing. She looked at his broad back, the muscles shifting under his shirt as he worked. She wanted to say something, anything, to prolong their time together. But she knew she should probably go.

"Right." she said, her voice a bit shaky. "Um, thank you. For the lesson."

March just grunted, not looking at her. He was trying very hard to act normal, to ignore the way her voice made his chest tighten. "Yeah, sure." he said gruffly. "Come back if you need another lesson."

Velvet nodded, feeling dismissed. She walked to the door, her steps slow and reluctant. But as she reached the door, she turned to look at him one last time. He was still at his workbench, his back to her, his shoulders taut. She wanted to say something, something that would express the tangle of feelings inside her. But before she could open her mouth, March spoke, not turning to look at her.

"Try to be careful next time." he said, his voice quiet. "You almost hurt yourself earlier."

Velvet felt a pang of something, was it disappointment? Upon hearing his stern tone. But she just nodded. "I will." she said softly. "I'll be more careful."

There was another tense silence. March still didn't turn around, but he could feel her gaze on his back. He wanted to look at her, to see those beautiful eyes one last time. But he forced himself to keep his gaze fixed on his workbench.

"Good." he said finally. "Now get out of here. You're distracting me."

Velvet's heart sank a bit at his brusque words. But she didn't want to overstay her welcome. "Right." she said softly. "Goodbye, March."

"Yeah." he muttered, his voice gruff. "Goodbye."

He listened as she opened the door and stepped out, the sound of her footsteps fading away. He wanted to call her back, to tell her to stay, to-

He shook his head, ridding himself of the foolish thoughts. He was a blacksmith, not a lovestruck boy. He had to get back to work.

~END~

Mousey, I'm sure you've done the reaction of the vanilla and expanded spouses to the farmer's curse from Mr. Qi, but how about the rsv spouses? I'd be curious to see what they'd do about it ~~especially you know who *wink wink nudge nudge*~~ Also ngl I've been trying to come up with more silly ships with the vanilla and mod characters and having a blast in my mind. I've been throwing in Isaac, Jadu, Camilla, and Alesia there too for good measure because I think Isaac especially would suffer with certain characters 😂 istg it's like I'm a dog and he's my chewing toy

Hehee, I wouldn't mind hearing what other funny ships you have in mind 👀👀👀

Sorry for a long reply, it turned out WAY more than I had planned. Anyway, enjoy some headcanon, Lotus! And have a great day! 💕

RSV spouses react to the Qi fruit:

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Ian had been standing still for about two minutes now, keeping his eyes on the strange blue fruit that was ripening in the Farmer's seedbed. Because he could have sworn that the fruit winked at him.... with 'glasses'! And the handyman thought he'd seen it again. But at the third minute, Ian gave up and reckoned he was just wasting time. "I really don't understand anything about farming," Ian told Farmer, kissed them, and went to work.

Daia isn't the type to be surprised by strange magical fruits, flowers and berries. The Ridge Forest alone is filled with interesting plants with unusual properties. But this 'Qi' fruit... Hmph, even she hadn't seen anything like it. Being around this smirking blue fruit makes the ninja feel a tingling sensation on her skin - a sure sign that magic is involved. Oh, she can't wait to ask her dear Farmer to give her the fruit to examine, because she's so curious about it! She wondered if it would interest her Lady too...

"Wow... I knew you are a true professional at farming, hon, but to do something like this..." Honestly, Jeric was delighted at what his partner had grown and horrified at what his partner had grown. Because on the one hand - fruit with a face and sunglasses, that's awesome! And on the other hand.... why? He certainly wouldn't have imagined something like this on his own little farm in Ridgeside Village. And it's unlikely he had the knowledge to grow something like this. "....So, what does it taste like?"

Bryle was ashamed to admit it, but the first thing he did when he stepped onto the farmhouse porch was reflexively draw his service weapon and prepare to defend himself. Because the Governor's slightly sleepy bodyguard mistook the blue-faced crops in sunglasses for invaders or even dark spirits. Having already recovered from his shock and seeing the calm Farmer watering this very crop, Bryle felt that by asking what it was, he would get more questions than answers. So he was like: "Nope, not today" and went back to the farmhouse.

When some time ago Irene had only seen the sprouts with the not yet formed blue fruit, she was even intrigued to see what kind of 'unusual fruit' Farmer had planted and what the crop would taste like. Sweet, or maybe with sour notes? Only when she got the ripe fruit on the kitchen table, the Amethyne's personal chef was no longer so enthusiastic. This... fruits looks like a head and was looking at her. Irene's afraid to even touch the 'Qi' fruit, much less taste it. Her Madame would definitely not want such an.... exotic crop for dinner.

Sean decided it would be a hilarious to wreak havoc in the local social media groups with this fruit. So, with Farmer's permission, he took a picture of the ripened 'Qi fruit', posted the picture to social media without any description, and waited. An hour and a half in and Sean and Farmer were dying of laughter reading people's reactions, all sorts of conspiracy about the harvest and even memes (lol). He was also hoping someone would leave a comment about what the fruit was, because Farmer's explanation of "blue fruit from blue seeds from a blue man" wasn't a very clear answer.

"Alissa, my dear. What is this?" Alissa can't give a clear answer to her mother when she shows her the unusual fruit. It seems to Alissa that her dear spouse Farmer themself does not know the answer to this question. The girl was utterly perplexed, and neither her own knowledge of farming, nor a single book from the library about crops, helped her to find the answer. She hoped that Farmer had not used something harmful to grow this fruit...

"What's this abomination growing in your garden? Why is there foreign magic coming from that thing?" Jio is in full earnest preparing for a defensive pose with his katana, because that 'Qi' fruit looks like it's about to pounce on him and Farmer. Elf doesn't trust this crop, whatever it is in the first place. And when asked how Farmer grew this stuff in the first place, the answer struck Jio like lightning. "You... took strange seeds from a suspicious man and thought it would be a great idea to plant them?" Yeah, It's going to be a long conversation...

Not even strength and persuasion from Farmer will be enough to keep their spouse Maddie from her determination to get into the Water Research Facility & Laboratory with this strange fruit. Because the ginger girl has to find out what it is in the first place! After all, the lab assistant was also watching the process of the Qi fruit's growth, for she was curious about what Farmer was growing. And when the already ripe fruit showed its face with sunglasses, Maddie wants to show it to Aguar to see how to even classify it. Sigh, not Aguar, if he found out there was magic involved...

"Whoa... So creepy... It's like some kind of comic book villain." Phillip kept twisting and twisting the "Qi" fruit in his hands, looking at the "face" of the crop, and even tried to take off the "glasses". It didn't work, however, because it was like they were super glued on. Oh, well. And although the physical therapist is eager to find out what this miracle fruit tastes like, he still wants to take precautions and find some information about the Qi fruit, because maybe it's poisonous???

Blair nearly died laughing when she saw the face of the ripe blue fruit. "Yoba, what a bogeyman!" And how on earth did her partner Farmer manage to grow a fruit with a face like that? Oh, she wants to take a few if Farmer agrees. To taste it? No, the young fisherwoman had thought of a more fun use for this crop.... Such an ugly fruit would definitely be a good way to prank Keahi for the last prank, hee hee hee... Just a harmless joke, Blair promises!

...Anton thought at first that he hadn't fully woken up in the morning, and that he had just imagined a blue face on the kitchen table. Except that when the architect came back from the bathroom already fresh and invigorated from a cold shower, the face had not disappeared from the kitchen table. ...Ok, and then what? How should he even react? And should he even be reacting to this? Because Farmer is not perplexed by the strange fruit in any way, they treat it like a normal apple or banana. ...Alright, then. Anton silently hopes he doesn't get "sunglasses" from this fruit in his portion of salad.

Well done, Farmer, just great! Making Flor nearly faint because they decided to put some ripe Qi fruit on the dinner table before going to bed, without warning the red-haired spouse for doing so. The poor, sleepy girl wanted to drink a glass of water at midnight, but she ended up throwing it all on the floor and screaming, mistaking the fruit for human heads. Now Farmer is ashamed now... And rightly so - they shouldn't scare Flor like that!

Kiarra's face twisted at what she saw. "Honey, you didn't use any fertiliser or seeds from Joja, right? You didn't take anything from them?" Her first guess as to the origin of this strange fruit was immediately the much disliked greedy company with the blue logo. Joja always like to spoil pump vegetables and fruits with all sorts of harmful substances of unknown origin to make them bigger, and as a consequence - to sell them for more money. Even when Farmer explained to her that it wasn't Joja, the girl still remained sceptical. Because it's... not natural. Something is wrong.

Zayne thought that it would be at least tactless and rude of him to voice his first thought out loud when Farmer presented them with the 'fruit of their labours'. Especially since he loved his spouse and knew what a wonderful farmer they are, unrivalled in the entire Republic. But... What is it? The Amethyne family heir has seen some rather unusual and sometimes even strange delicacies on his own dinner table and on the tables of other noble families. But a fruit with a face... Someone, who apparently ordered Farmer to grow the fruit just so, has... a very specific flavour.

"Ew," was Ysabelle's only reaction, and to be honest - many would have agreed with her conclusion about the blue fruit with the snickering face and sunglasses. Even Farmer didn't argue with their partner's opinion about it. Really, ew (no offence, Mr. Qi). The girl simultaneously wants to ask what this fruit is and doesn't want to know anything about it, figuring it will be further questions than answers. People in the hotel have demanded stranger foods and delicacies, so the blue face fruit isn't too much of a shock to her. But still - ew.

"Hmm, why the face?" How does Farmer know, Paula? When they took the assignment from a, ahem, familiar person, they had no idea that the 'Qi fruit' would turn out to be exactly like this - a bit creepy, with a human face (but cool glasses!). The military medic wasn't too surprised by this weird crop (she'd seen much stranger food), and if the fruit wasn't poisonous and wasn't an allergy sufferer's worst nightmare, why not give it a try. "Heh, I wonder if anyone would dare to try this food on a dare"

"No, thank you, my soul. I'm good with an apple," June politely declined as Farmer, having harvested a ripe crop from the greenhouse, brought June a whole basket of different fruits and berries from all seasons to the farmhouse. His favourite apples, strawberries, oranges, pomegranate, a blue fruit with a face- Wait, what? Did he see that right? Yeah, the pianist's eyesight was not deceiving him. Later, he'll be asking Farmer questions about the blue weird fruit. In the meantime, he just wants to enjoy the apple.

When Faye thought of fresh fruit salad, she imagined cutting up a juicy and sweet mango, a ripe, with the sour notes pineapple, a delicious banana, and fill it up it with fresh orange juice. And at the sight of the Qi fruit, the waitress honestly lost her appetite. Is it... really a fruit? Why does it look so scary? It's also smiling... Oh, yuck! Farmer, that fruit winked at her! Brrr! No weird blue fruits on the dinning table, they're scary!

Shiro jumped up sharply, almost scalding hot, when he saw a field of a hundred blue smiling heads from the porch. Everywhere he turned his head, there they were: smiling, the light bouncing off their... Glasses? What the hell is that, anyway? "People want to buy fruit like that? With a scary face?" No, he's not going to try it, and the Farmer isn't advised to either. It doesn't look good, and it probably doesn't taste good anyway- No, Farmer, making this 'Qi' fruit into a smoothie isn't a good idea either... Just don't, please.

Corine never thought people could come up with something like this with crop. Well, she'd seen square watermelons, heart-shaped pears, and even star-shaped peaches on TV. But a melon-sized blue fruit that also had a human face..... Even she didn't expect that. Really, she doesn't understand why the Farmer glued it on. "Oh, I didn't glue the glasses on, dear, they grew with the fruit!" Sorry, the glasses did what?

"No offence, dear, but I'll probably pass." Oh, Farmer didn't grow this fruit for food, but for someone personally? Whew, what a relief... Um, Kenneth didn't mean to be rude or offend Farmer in any way, but the mere thought of that Qi fruit that very much resembled a head being cut with a knife made him cringe and disgusted. The inventor doesn't understand who needs fruit grown in this way, but he's not good at farming, so Kenneth will leave the matter to his spouse.

Hey everyone! I’ve just uploaded new chapters of "Caldarus's Accidental Guide to Wooing a Farmer." Here’s a sneak peek from the latest chapter:

She hummed softly to herself as she tied off the ends of the flower crown, a satisfied smile playing on her lips as she admired her handiwork. With a gentle movement, she leaned forward, carefully lifting the delicate creation and placing it atop Caldarus’s head.

His gaze flickered up from his book, curiosity stirring as he regarded her with quiet intrigue. “Another one?” His voice held no protest, only mild surprise as though he had already anticipated such an outcome.

She grinned, her fingers still lingering near the crown as she adjusted it slightly. “Of course! You’re starting a collection now.”

A breath of amusement escaped him, a faint exhale that wasn’t quite a laugh but carried the essence of one. He made no move to remove it, allowing the memory of their first festival together to surface, the distant recollection of when she had first given him a flower crown, back when he had been nothing more than an unmoving stone figure in her fields.

Slowly he closed his book, letting it rest upon his lap as his gaze drifted to the flowers surrounding them. Reaching out he selected one, his fingers brushing over the soft petals as he turned his attention back to her. With deliberate care he leaned in, the space between them narrowing as he reached up, gently tucking the flower beneath her ear. His fingertips brushed against her hair, the strands soft beneath his touch as he adjusted the placement, ensuring it sat just right.

Isaria’s breath hitched, her heartbeat suddenly irregular, caught off guard by the unexpected gentleness of the gesture. A warmth crept up her neck, settling in her cheeks as she remained frozen under his touch, her mind scrambling to form a coherent response.

“There.” Caldarus said simply, his golden eyes studying her with an unreadable expression. “It suits you.”

Her fingers twitched slightly against her lap, the sudden flutter in her chest sending a ripple of warmth through her body. “Oh. Uhhh…” She cleared her throat, attempting to steady herself though the lingering sensation of his touch made it a challenge. “Thanks.”

His expression remained calm, entirely unaware of the effect he had just caused as though the simple act had held no deeper meaning beyond placing a flower in her hair.

Isaria let out a breath, shaking her head slightly as she reached for another flower, her hands busying themselves as she willed away the warmth creeping up her cheeks. “You know.” she mused, attempting a casual tone, “You have a habit of saying things that sound suspiciously like flirting.”

Caldarus blinked, his brow slightly furrowing, genuine curiosity flickering across his features. “Do I?”

She laughed, a light and breathy sound as she shook her head again. “Never mind.”

Here's the link of the fic:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63931303/chapters/163977091