Kyle In Post Covid Who Finally Started Dating Cartman But Every Day He Feels This Bitter Dissatisfaction

for some reason i enjoy so much the idea of kyle actually genuinely liking cartman’s appearance. like, he would never admit it – especially to cartman – but somehow eric really is a perfect match for kyle’s preferences.

therefore he can’t possibly stand the idea of cartman changing his appearance to become more “beautiful” in other people’s opinions, because kyle likes him the way he already is — and kyle already is sure cartman is beautiful.

so eeeevery time cartman has even a tiniest thought of losing weight, kyle makes sure he will change his mind.

cartman: I don’t know, man, maybe I really should lose weight… I mean, I’m hot as hell right now, but imagine all those girls who will go completely insane when they see me all skinny and sexy?

kyle: Gross. I don’t want to even think about it.

cartman: Are you jealous, Kyle? Or are you just envious ‘cuz I get more females’ attention being big-boned than you do with your thin ass?

kyle: Don’t you flatter yourself, Fatass. When was the last time a girl looked at you without a terror on her face?

cartman: Oh, shut up, Jew! You’re just afraid you’ll look even uglier next to me.

kyle: So you’re going on a diet, right?

cartman: Right!

kyle: Okay, good luck with this. …Oh, wait, isn’t this a KFC restaurant right there? And, wow, look: I have fifteen bucks right here! Damn, that’s just perfect for a double portion of chicken...

cartman: No… you sneaky little…

kyle: Huh? What’re you saying? I didn’t quite catch it. Do you wanna join me, Cartman?

cartman: …I hate you so much, Kyle. You’re going to burn in hell for forever. More than that: I will turn your life to hell myself–

kyle: So you’re going or not?

cartman: …Yes.

ALSO yes he’d support cartman’s decision to lose weight for himself but he just hates the idea of cartman changing his body just for social standards. and i just want at least one person to completely adore cartman’s looks and compliment him and i think kyle’d be the one to do so. once he get over his embarrassment, he’ll start telling nice things to cartman once in a while and cartman who is absolutely not used to genuine praise will be so. fucking. happy. every time.

was thinkin' because of a tumblr post i saw

so i doodled a quick thing... i haven't rly thought through how i'd draw adult cartman in my style so take this with a grain of salt

i wanna write kyman i wanna draw kyman i wanna read kyman i wanna watch kyman

as you could maybe tell im not fucking normal about them

creekenny being an absolutely hilarious ot3 part four

so nobody in the town knows for sure if kenny actually dates one or both of them. like, everyone is pretty used to seeing creek obviously dating and not even trying to hide it, and their parents know craig and tweek are dating but literally NO ONE understands kenny’s role in this relationship. there’s always some rumors and gossips here and there from some girls who saw kenny kissing craig after the party, or tweek holding kenny’s hand lovingly.

and when someone is really desperate enough for knowing the truth to actually ask one of them who tf is dating who in this odd love triangle, they always get different answers because these three mfs find other people’s curiosity hysterical.

they’re like:

kenny: (Ah, yes, that’s a threesome. Like a regular sausage party but times three, you know.)

craig: Uh, Kenny? Yeah, he’s, like, our pet, ‘cause me and Tweek aren’t allowed to have another guinea pig.

tweek: Kenny? Well, he’s kinda stuck with us for some reason. Man, I don’t know, maybe he wants to steal our stuff when we let our guard down…

kenny: (I’m just working undercover to check if they’re actually gay or just pretending to get more money and attention from girls.)

tweek: Wait, what do you mean “dating”? Gah!!! Are you implying he’s sleeping with my boyfriend? I thought he was hanging out with us because Craig owes him money! That son of a bitch!…

craig and kenny, trying so hard not to laugh: 😱 Oops, busted…

guess who has kyman plushies now

istg if kyle having a crush on heidi in s21 was mattrey’s real intention, i’d be so disappointed. like. they know how to write about relationships, feelings and crushes, but the attempt to make kyle be in love with cartman’s girlfriend is either a very self-conscious and intentional kyman proof, or the lamest romantic plot EVER created.

heyy i wanted to post here some of my Absolutely Random Headcanons on south park kids (non-shipping version) ;D ig it’s the part one or smth??

tweek is a theatre kid. after that fake break-up with craig he realised how he actually enjoyed pretending to be who he is not, and how he might’ve had a real natural talent for this thing. also he thought theatre was a great opportunity to overcome his fears and anxiety and be a little bit more self-confident, so he went to the school theatre club and signed up.

and it was probably the best decision he’s ever made. he knew he would like it but he had no idea it would be so much fun. although some kids at school tried to laugh at him for being gay AND liking theatre, he didn’t really care because being on stage, transforming into fictional characters, memorizing script was so great. and it was the only hobby he got really into – and believe me, due to his adhd he had plenty of hobbies. his most favourite part was definitely feeling hundreds of eyes looking at him – although most of the time owners of those eye were just bored to death students who were forced to go and see a school play. he liked it anyways, because it was such a big step forward for him – having a possibly dangerous and scaring situation totally under control.

also his biggest regret is that he can’t really sing due to his tics that make his voice sound trembling so he can’t participate in musicals, although he has a big soft spot for them. his whole playlist is basically songs from broadway musicals. he tried to force craig watch them with him but craig is really far from theatre – especially when it’s not tweek who’s on the stage.

by the way, clyde is in the theatre club with tweek because he heard that bebe and other girls like guys who are really into art so he was choosing between painting class and theatre club and chose the latter (‘cause tweek’s in it and he thought he didn’t have to put much effort in the club activity. poor innocent soul. if only he knew tweek goes absolutely wild when it comes to a perfect stage play).

my gf and her moots came up with the sick idea of south park and homestuck crossover so i couldn't resist and drew some of.... stuff!!! i changed like TONN of stuff but i still admire the concept!!

kyle and wendy being just regular friends or rivals and not liking each other sure is fun but imagine them bonding over their lovehate to cartman. imagine cartman having to fight them both. this brosistp has SO much comedy potential.

i bet kyle “accidentally” sends cartman “happy father’s day” picture every goddamn year