Is That A Hard Boiled Egg In Your Back Pocket Or Is Your Penis Just Round And On The Wrong Side

New JFK conspiracy: the car shot him

Putting “student” as your job on forms is just another way of saying you are not only currently unemployed, but will continue to be unemployed in the future

Currently trying to use telepathy on my friends to get at least one of them to follow me over 700 miles to a new state when I move bc I’ll miss them and also bc trying to find a roommate while not being in the that city (let alone the state) is really hard and I don’t wanna :/

today im thinking about my many many desires. no i wont be communicating them you stupud fuckinggggg idiot

brown eyes are made of dreams

Dysphoria Hoodie is so real but can we give a round of applause to Autism Hoodie?

u were always there for my autistic ass when textures were awful, the world was too bright & loud, eye contact needed to be avoided, and i didn't know what to do with my hands. u even let me use your pullstrings as a stim toy. truest ride or die bestie i'll ever know 🫶💖🫡

I HATE YOU!!!!!!

You know who else hates people? Freddy Fazbear. And he, Freddy gicebear, and chica the chiken are like RAWR🦁 and bite you (C H O M P) and then Fessy The Chives go to 1987 and eat babies. The end :)

Whenever I get too obsessed with a show i literally start dreaming fake episodes and then have to wake up and check to see if it was a real episode or not

So when I was deep into 9-1-1 a few years ago (mostly for Buddie) I had a dream where Buck was having a panic attack or something and Eddie was holding him being like “you’re safe, you’re okay, I got you” or whatever and then Buck just like…kissed Eddie???? And then I woke up

But now with what I’ve been seeing online about the most recent episodes I feel like this is a plausible scenario????

Am I a prophet????

why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.

Sometimes in fanfic I find myself writing ships into the fic that I don’t agree with just bc it makes the plot juicier

Like I’ve never shipped Foreman and Chase but for my post series finale fic I’m working on where Foreman and Chase go find House and Wilson 5 years after the series finale— adding ForemanxChase to the plot to make them a foil to early Hilson (which House and Wilson recognize) makes the plot so much better