...I'm Not Sure You Get How This Works...

Where does Tom Bombadil fall on this scale?? I want to say directly on top of simps for wife.

Fëanor *dissolves into smoke bc the world couldn't handle him*

Vs

Bilbo Baggins "GOODBYE" *disappears entirely*

Fight!!

The disdain, the eloquence - a masterful eyebrow raise!! He gets it from his dad 🥹

Aww, it's genetic! 🥰

Okay, BobaDinLuke but they have the same chemistry as Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Elizabeth Swan respectively

Initial sketches of Erestor… plan to add colour at some point…

Top left: a peaceful moment.

Top right: the third kinslaying. Erestor is having the worst day ever.

Bottom left: he and Gil-Galad have a silent but very intense game of fashion one-upmanship going on, and Erestor plays to win. Courtiers swoon left and right. Sauron trembles before his resting bitch face.

Bottom right: casual mode. The hair hides secrets. 8,000 years of secrets, in fact.

...that is the most terrifying whale noises i have ever heard. feed me more.

NASA Data Sonification: Black Hole Remix

In this sonification of Perseus. the sound waves astronomers previously identified were extracted and made audible for the first time. The sound waves were extracted outward from the center. (source)

In fics, people often use the Quenya for adult male/female: 'the nér did this' or 'the nís said that' which is... fine, I guess? Tolkein did use them in some of his translations to mean man/woman in a non-species-specific kind of way... and this is completely irrational but to me it still sometimes comes across as directly calling someone a 'male' or a 'female'... like, technically, yes? But also wtf?

Anyway. Sindarin doesn't have a clear equivalent that I can see...

(Also nís is sometimes níssë - still singular, means exactly the same thing, idfk why)

Can 2025 maybe be the year we as a fandom finally stop using the term 'she-elf', which was invented for the Jackson movies and comes across as intentionally derogatory?

Tolkien himself referred to female elves as 'women' or 'elven-women' or similar.

Like this maybe?

disaster lineage all fall into one or more categories. i tried making a venn diagram but it was too hard so i gave up. anyway here they are

-most famous jedi who ever lived

-deeply fucking evil

-enemy of the state

-hermit

-literally just some guy who's there

“The face of Elrond was ageless, neither old nor young, though in it was written the memory of many things both glad and sorrowful. His hair was dark as the shadows of twilight, and upon it was set a circlet of silver; his eyes were grey as a clear evening, and in them was a light like the light of stars. Venerable he seemed as a king crowned with many winters, and yet hale as a tried warrior in the fullness of his strength. He was Lord of Rivendell and mighty among both Elves and Men.” - The Fellowship of the Ring.

“He was as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer.” - The Hobbit.

“So like was she in form of womanhood to Elrond [...] Young she was and yet not so. The braids of her dark hair were touched by no frost and the light of stars was in her bright eyes, grey as a cloudless night; yet queenly she looked, and thought and knowledge were in her glance, as of one who has known many things that the years bring [...] Arwen, daughter of Elrond, in whom it was said that the likeness of Lúthien had come on earth again; and she was called Undómiel, for she was the Evenstar of her people.” - The Fellowship of the Ring

“I believed you to be indeed Lúthien Tinúviel, of whom I was singing. But if you are not she, then you walk in her likeness.” - The Return of the King, Appendix A, ‘The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen’.

“Keen, heart-piercing was her song as the lark that rises from the gates of night and pours its voice among the dying stars, seeing the sun behind the walls of the world; and the song of Lúthien released the bonds of winter, and the frozen waters spoke, and flowers sprang from the cold earth where her feet had passed [...] the woods echoed the name.” - Silmarillion

Lay of Leithian:

“Light of stars was in her hair, and in her raiment glimmering” - note that the physical forms of Valar and Maiar are compared to raiments, so it could be her very form that glimmers in the dappled starlight.

“Her hair like shadow following” as she moves.

When Beren saw her, “enchantment healed his weary feet”

“Feet as light as linden-leaves”

“At her feet was strewn a mist of silver quivering” as she dances under the moon.

“Her song released the sudden spring, like rising lark, and falling rain, and melting water bubbling. He saw the elven-flowers spring about her feet, and healed again.”

“In his arms lay glistening. As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, the trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering. About him cast her shadowy hair and arms like silver glimmering.”

“grey as evening were her eyes [...] dark as shadow was her hair.”

So, Arwen is apparently both the spitting image of Lúthien and a perfectly genderbent Elrond, so we can assume that most of how they are described also applies to Elrond. Therefore:

Elrond’s hair is dark like shadows and twilight, probably braided, somehow contains starlight, floats behind him when he moves and surrounds him very romantically when he lies down.

His eyes are grey, compared to clear evenings and cloudless nights, and bright and sparkling with starlight.

His face is noble and fair, his skin is flawlessly smooth white or silver; he seems to glisten or glimmer, and moves lightly, and flowers sprout at his feet, and mist swirls around him when under the moon.

He seems both young and old, ageless and filled with memories both happy and sad.

His singing is so heart-breakingly lovely, it draws to mind larks, rainfall and bubbling water, bings hope at the edge of the Void and rises amongst doomed stars; it turns winter to spring, calls bodies of water to respond, and heals all weariness.

He’s a noble lord, venerable as a king, thoughtful, experienced and wise. He’s a mighty warrior in the height of his strength, and most importantly, as kind as summer.

Note that Arwen and Lúthien aren’t described as kind - oh Arwen is queenly and Lúthien turns winter to spring, but Elrond alone is kind as summer.

So my friend reaches over, takes my bottle an pops it open with her ring in the sINGLE SEXIEST SMOOTHEST MOST AWESOME MOVE I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN. THAT SHIT IS MY BI AWAKENING MY ROMAN EMPIRE THE HOMO TO MY SEXUAL -

I am very normal about my friend

A Very Long Thought about Elrond's Names and Titles

This is the product of at least 15 hours of work, ok, so please be nice.

Scene: Tirion, Valinor. Elrond Peredhel has arrived at his first formal diplomatic meeting. Eönwë looks at the guest-list, does a double take, takes a deep breath, goes through all five stages of grief and starts inventing new ones, shoots a quick prayer to Manwë, and clears his throat.

Elrond’s names and titles in Quenya: Aþëafinwë Elerondo Pereldar, Nelyafinwion Canafinwionyë, néya Orrósurë Taurénë, Eärnedilion Elenvingionyë. Heru Fëanálië, Sánendoredainion, Hísilómedainion, Indor Arcimbele, Aryon Lestanórë Ondolindyë, Tercáno Hildyë Aranion Ílë-Calima, enquëa Noldóran.

(Also Elros’s names in Quenya: Arafinwë Elerossë, Andúsírë Taurildë)

Elrond’s names and titles in Sindarin: Athaefin Elrond Peredhel, Maedhrosion a Maglorion, ni Sûlamrûn Taurín, Gaerdilion a Elwinion. Hîr Nost Fëanor, Bar Beorion a Hadorion, Hîr Imladris, Hîl Dóriath a Gondolin, Taicyll a Hîl Erenion Gil-Galad, enchui Golodharan.

(Also Elros’ names in Sindarin: Arafin Elros, Sîrannûn Tauréd)

If, like me, you're just gonna skim right over all that - try plugging the elvish into Google Translate and getting it to read it aloud for you. Spanish or Italian for Quenya and Welsh for Sindarin. It's not 100% correct and some sounds will be wrong, but it'll give you the general idea.

SECTION 1: names from Maedhros and Maglor

Aþëafinwë Elerondo Pereldar, Nelyafinwion Canafinwionyë

(Arafinwë Elerossë)

Athaefin Elrond Peredhel, Maedhrosion a Maglorion

(Arafin Elros)

Quenya names have three parts: a father name or ataressë (plural ataresser), a mother name or amilessë (plural amilesser), and an optional nickname or epessë (plural eresser).

Ataresser chosen based on my Quenya translation of the hands of a king are the hands of a healer, which I attribute to Maedhros: aranya mát síve aþaya mát. Translated using fin as equivalent to Finwë, as with Curufin.

Aþëafinwë = healing herb Finwë. The root of aþëa is aþaya, to heal, and aþëa aranion is the Quenya name for athelas/kingsfoil. Aranion is also a Quenya translation of Erenion. Sindarin cognate of aþëa is athae, hence Athaefin.

(Arafinwë = noble Finwë. Ara- was chosen as a shortening of Aranye, in tribute to Arafinwë the High King of the Noldor in Valinor, who did an objectively better job - insofar as a king is a healer - at being a king than any of his entire extended family until Gil-Galad and Elros himself. Ara has a similar meaning in both Sindarin and Quenya, hence Arafin.)

Note: thankfully the twins ended up with actually meaningful names after long consideration, unlike Maedhros’ first, sarcastic suggestion of Yet-Another-Finwë and Still-More-Fucking-Finwës. Which, following on from Finwë, Smart-Finwë, Wise-Finwë, Noble-Finwë, Finwë No. 3, Loud-Finwë, Buff-Finwë, Emo-Finwë, Smarter-Finwë, Tiny-Finwë, Valar-Let-This-Be-The-Last-Finwë, Look-Mom-Grandkids!-Finwë and Even-Tinier-Finwë... this is objectively hilarious.

(I'm including Celebrimbor - Inyofinwë Tyelperinquar, grandchild-Finwë silver-fist - and Gil-Galad - Vinyafinwë Aranion, new-Finwë son-of-kings - in this list.)

The twins' amilesser wer almost certainly given by Maglor in Quenya (Maglor being the one who cared to name them first), based on where they were kidnapped from in various drafts of the Silmarillion, before ever being used in Sindarin.

Elerondo = Quenya of the Sindarin Elrond.

(Elerossë = Quenya of the Sindarin Elros.)

The shared epessë runs in the same vein as calling Maedhros, noted red-head, Russandol or copper-top.

Pereldar = Quenya of the Sindarin Peredhel.

The suffix -ion is used in both Quenya and Sindarin to say son of -.

Nelyafinwion in Quenya & Maedhrosion in Sindarin = son of Nelyafinwë & son of Maedhros - Quenya and Sindarin names for the same elf.

Canafinwion in Quenya & Maglorion in Sindarin = son of Canafinwë & son of Maglor - Quenya and Sindarin names for the same elf.

-yë suffix on Canafinwionyë in Quenya & a in Sindarin = and in their respective languages.

SECTION 2: names from Eärendil and Elwing

néya Orrósurë Taurénë, Eärnedilion Elenwingionyë

(néya Andúsírë Taurildë)

nî Sûlamrûn Taurín, Gaerdilion a Elwinion

(nî Sîrannûn Tauréd)

Most Sindarin names appear to be a single name with an optional nickname. However, as a Noldo, Eärendil gave his sons ataresser, and so the names given by Elwing become amilesser.

Ataresser given by Eärendil hint at some form of directions to find Valinor.

Sûlamrûn = the wind east. Sindarin sûl or wind & amrûn or east. Translated into Quenya using the orró- prefix, referring to sunrise and east, and súrë, meaning wind, to make Orrósurë.

(Sîrannûn = the stream west. Sindarin sîr or river/stream here used to refer to an ocean current & annûn or west/sunset. Translated using the andú- prefix, meaning sunset and west and used in Andúril, and sírë, the Quenya of the Sindarin sîr, to make Andúsírë. Annûn is also linked to the Sindarin dûn, as in Dûnedain. See what I did there?)

Amilesser given by Elwing in memory of her brothers, Eluréd and Elurín, who were killed by Fëanorians in a forest, taur meaning forest in both Sindarin and Quenya. A massive guilt-trip, and the reason why both Elrond and Elros refuse to use their original Sindarin names, instead going by their translated Quenya names. 

Taurín = remembrance of the forest. The Sindarin rîn, remembrance, is translated as rénë, memory - thus Taurénë.

(Tauréd = heir of the forest. The Beorian rêda or heir is used, as in Eluréd. Instead of the Quenya for heir aryon, the alternative hildë is used in translation, meaning heir, follower or child. Hildë is the root of the Quenya word for Men: Hildor, which is more fitting for Elros - hence Taurildë.)

The suffix -ion is used in both Quenya and Sindarin to say son of -.

Eärendilion = son of Eärendil. Eärendil is unusual in that we are more familiar with his Quenya name. However it can be translated as Gaerdil - hence, in Sindarin, Gaerdilion.

Elwinion = son of Elwing. The -g is dropped because Elwingion is clunky. Elwing is translated into Quenya as Elenvingë - el and elen both meaning star, and gwing and vingë both meaning foam or spray. Hence, Elenvingion. A side note - the Quenya of Eärendil’s ship is the Vingilótë (Sindarin Vingelot), perhaps named after his wife, Elenvingë?

Néya in Quenya and nî in Sindarin = once, at one time or was, here used to show that they were formerly known by the following names, but these are no longer in use.

-yë suffix on Elenvingionyë in Quenya & a in Sindarin = and in their respective languages.

SECTION 3: Elrond’s Houses

Heru Fëanálië, Sánendoredainion, Hísilómedainion, Indor Arcimbele

Hîr Nost Fëanor, Bar Beorion a Bar Hadorion, Hîr Imladris

Heru = lord. Used in various phrases as a title. Sindarin equivalent - hîr. Both capitalised when written in the Latin alphabet, though elvish doesn’t capitalise letters.

Nost Fëanor = the House of Fëanor. Nost, meaning family, clan or house, also used to describe Nost Finarfin, so it works perfectly. Translated into Quenya as Fëanálië, the company of Fëanor (or rather, the Quenya version of his name, Fëanáro). Lië, meaning folk, is added to the name Tata to make Tatalië, the company of Tata, so the same rule is applied.

The suffix -ion is used in both Quenya and Sindarin to say son of -. The Quenya endain refers to the race of Men, as used to refer to the Men of the West, the Dúnedain. A in Sindarin = and.

Bar Beorion = son of the house of Beor. The Sindarin bar Bëora refers to the house of Bëor. The Beorians are also known as the Men of Dorthonion; Dorthonion, Sindarin for land of the pines, can be translated as Sánendor - hence Sánendoredainion means son of the Men of Dorthonion.

Bar Hadorion = son of the house of Hador. The name Hador is substituted for Beor, with the same meaning: son of this house. The Hadorians are also known as the Men of Hithlum; Hithlum in Quenya is Hísilómë - hence Hísilómedainion means son of the Men of Hithlum.

Indor = a niche Quenya term used specifically for the lord or master of a house - seemed to fit with the way Imladris is referred to as the House of Elrond and the Last Homely House. There is no Sindarin equivalent as far as I can see, so hîr is used again.

Imladris = Rivendell, the name of Elrond’s house. Rivendell in Quenya is Arcimbele.

SECTION 4: Heirships

Aryon Lestanórë Ondolindyë

Hîl Dóriath a Gondolin

Hîl = heir in Sindarin. There are two potential translations into Quenya: hildë, meaning heir, follower or child, but also used as descendant; aryon, a noun meaning heir or prince - literally son of property. In this case, Elrond is heir to the throne of two cities, so the royal aryon is most appropriate, as opposed to the more personal inheritance of a legacy implied by hildë.

Dóriath = Doriath, the Land of the Girdle, ruled over by Elu Thingol and Melian. The Quenya translation is Lestanórë. (Does being descended from Melian deserve a title in and of itself? Melianion?)

Gondolin = Gondolin, literally hidden rock, a city ruled by Turgon. The Quenya name for Gondolin is Ondolindë, meaning singing stone. (Being an heir to the royal House of the King of Gondolin could also add another layer of complexity...)

-yë suffix on Ondolindyë in Quenya & a in Sindarin = and in their respective languages.

SECTION 5: connection to Gil-Galad

Tercáno hildyë Aranion Ílë-Calima, enquëa Noldóran.

Taicyll a Hîl Erenion Gil-Galad, enchui Golodharan.

Tercáno = herald in Quenya, ter being through and cáno being commander. With no direct Sindarin translation, tain or message and cyll or bearer are combined into Taicyll.

Hîl = heir in Sindarin. There are two potential translations into Quenya: hildë, meaning heir, follower or child, but also used as descendant; aryon, a noun meaning heir or prince - literally son of property. Usually, the heir to a throne would be aryon, whilst a person’s next-of-kin or descendant is hildë. Thus Elrond is making a deliberate choice when he translates hîl in this case as hildë rather than aryon - he is Gil-Galad’s chosen next-of-kin, but not a prince or heir to the throne, miss me with that royalty shit.

Erenion Gil-Galad = Sindarin name meaning son of kings and star of radiance. A potential Quenya translation is Aranion - from ara, king, and -ion, son of - Ílë-Calima - form ílë, star, and calima, luminous.

Noldóran = noldor-king, the Quenya term for High King of the Noldor. The Sindarin version is Golodharan.

Enquëa = Quenya for sixth. Sindarin Enchui.

-yë suffix on hildyë in Quenya & a in Sindarin = and in their respective languages.

(FINAL NOTE:  Gil-Galad’s full name in Sindarin and Quenya:

SINDARIN: Finwain Erenion Rôdnaur Finellach Gil-Galad

QUENYA: Vinyafinwë Aranion Artáno Findenár Ílë-Calima

This proof that I’ve just invented means that Gil-Galad has to be Russingon’s lovechild because ain’t no way Irrelevant Estranged Cousin Orodreth the Politically Correct named his kid ‘new-finwë’ and also two other names to do with fire.)

Anyway I'm sure various people will pull more titles out of their asses and make everyone's day even worse (I'd love to hear what you guys come up with) but that's me done for now.

So I made a snickers cheesecake. Except there's no snickers or cheese, and it's not a cake.

And this happened -

My flatmate: Goose, this is great! How did you get the filling so creamy?

Me, recalling the metric fuck ton of cream that went into this diabetic daydream: funny you ask, actually...