Where Does Tom Bombadil Fall On This Scale?? I Want To Say Directly On Top Of Simps For Wife.

this is incredible.

please. please im not even american and i need this more than air. for fucksake please

musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

Popular with the troops.

Notes on chapter 6: oh whoops this fic looks like it'll turn out a bit longer than i intended... ah well, just three more chapters Total number of chapters: 45

And now, the thrilling sequel: Celebrían, Elrohir, Elladan and Arwen’s names!

I’m not touching their titles with a 6 foot pole. I'm sorry but this already took like 7 hours and I do actually have work I’m meant to be doing. It also makes my life easier that the kids do not need two separate identities from each side of the family since their parents are not mortal enemies who murder each other, which is half the amount of work for everyone. :)

*

Celebrían

Celebrían, Celeboriel a Galadrien, Hîril Imladris

Teleperína, Teleporniel ye Alatárien

Tyelperína, Telporniel Naltarienyë, Heri Arcimbele

Celebrían = Sindarin meaning silver queen, from celeb = silver and rían = queen/crowned lady.

Celeboriel = Sindarin meaning daughter of Celeborn, from Celeborn (minus -n for smoother pronunciation) and -iel = daughter of.

Galadrien = Sindarin meaning daughter of Galadriel, from Galadriel (minus -l for smoother pronunciation) and -ien = an alternative form of -iel meaning daughter of.

A = Sindarin meaning and.

.

Hîril Imaldris = Sindarin meaning lady of Rivendell, from hîril = lady, feminine equivalent to Elrond’s hîr, and Imladris = Rivendell.

Teleperína = Telerin meaning silver-crowned, from telpe = silver and rían = crowned. (Technically rían is Quenya but whatever, Tolkein loves his mutually-intelligible languages so I can do what I want.)

Teleporniel = Telerin meaning daughter of Telepornë (Celeborn’s Telerin name), from Telepornë and -iel = daughter of.

Alatárien = Telerin meaning daughter of Alatáriel (Galadriel’s Telerin name), from Alatáriel and -ien = an alternative form of -iel meaning daughter of.

Ye = Telerin meaning and, specifically for two items.

.

Tyelperína = Quenya meaning silver-crowned, from tyelpë = silver (the archaic inflection of the Teleri-influenced telpë, probably used exclusively by Fëanorians due to their little pet peeves about linguistic purity) and rína = crowned.

Telporniel = Quenya meaning daughter of Teleporno (Celeborn’s Quenya name), from Teleporno and -iel = daughter of.

Naltarien = Telerin meaning daughter of Naltariel (Galadriel’s Quenya name), from Naltariel and -ien = an alternative form of -iel meaning daughter of.

-Yë = Quenya suffix meaning and, used when combining two titles into one rather than in daily use.

Indori Arcimbele = Quenya meaning lady of Rivendell, from indori = lady or mistress of a house, the likely feminine of Elrond’s indor, and Arcimbele = Rivendell.

.

Why no Telerin ‘Lady of Rivendell’? because I can’t figure out how to translate that, so I’m going to invent some reasons why she would never use Telerin enough to bother translating her titles.

Galadriel speaks both Quenya and Telerin - which are very similar and mutually intelligible but not actually the same - and was originally named in both, due to having a Noldorin father and a Telerin mother.

Crimes are committed and Quenya is banned. Telerin sounds close enough to Quenya that you’ll get arrested for speaking it, and people aren’t very sympathetic when she explains that it’s not actually Quenya but a different language that sounds exactly like Quenya that is also spoken in Valinor alongside Quenya, and in fact they share many words so it is really very, very close to Quenya - but I swear it isn’t actually Quenya. (It’s also close enough to set off Celeborn’s PTSD-induced anti-Noldor squick.) So, Galadriel attempts to distance herself as far away from Quenya and Telerin as possible while she remains in Middle-Earth.

In fact, there was a lot of soul-searching that took place before she decided to name her daughter in Telerin as well as Sindarin, and she never did name Celebrían in Quenya at all.

So Celebrían grew up speaking Sindarin exclusively, because while she does, intellectually, know how to speak Telerin because her mother sat her down and taught her, she has no real connection to the language. And, of course, Quenya is for war criminals…

…And apparently kind-hearted half-elven bad-boys with the most adorable dimples like Elrond, who is so whole-heartedly, incandescently in love with his House and his heritage that it’s contagious. So Celebrían drags out her never-used Telerin name and translates it into Quenya so that she can enjoy being Noldorin with her husband. It’s very sweet.

Of course, she does then decide she wants to connect with her Telerin heritage as well, but, well, there aren’t many Teleri in Middle Earth, so that has to wait until she sails to Valinor…

*

Elladan

Elladan, Elrondion a Celebríon

Laurefinwë Eldatan, Elerondion Tyelperínionyë

Elladan = Sindarin meaning Elf-Man, from eledh = Elf and adan = Man.

Elrondion = Sindarin meaning son of Elrond, from Elrond and -ion = son of.

Celebríon = Sindarin meaning son of Celebrían, from Celebrían (-an dropped for smoother pronunciation) and -ion = son of.

A = Sindarin meaning and.

.

Laurefinwë = Quenya meaning golden Finwë, from laurë = golden (of light, not the metal) and Finwë.

Eldatan = Quenya meaning Elf-Man, from elda = Elf and atan = Man.

No epessë = I couldn't think of a good one and neither could he. Suggestions welcome.

Elerondion = Quenya meaning son of Elerondo (Elrond’s Quenya name), from Elerondo and -ion = son of.

Tyelperínion = Quenya meaning son of Tyelperína (Celebrían’s Quenya name), from Tyeperína and -ion = son of.

-Yë = Quenya suffix meaning and, used when combining two titles into one rather than in daily use.

.

Why Laurefinwë?

Glorfindel/Laurefindelë my beloved!

Maglor/Makalaurë my extremely problematic but still very beloved genocidal mass-murdering kidnapper-turned-father!

Celeborn, my dearly beloved father-in-law who takes every opportunity to insult my family and heritage, may I present your grandson, whose father-name, which follows the Fëanorian family tradition, is a tribute to the name of your realm (Lóþlaurien, from lós/lóþ = flower, laurë = golden and -ien = land) translated into the illegal language and accent of the famous war criminals who destroyed your old realm of Doriath! (Celebrían loves Elrond’s blatantly passive-agressive responses to people’s prejudice and is a terrible enabler.)

Note: a more sensible translation of Lothlórien would be Lóslórien = flower dreamland, but in the interests of pissing off the father-in-law some sacrifices must be made

*

Elrohir

Elrohir, Elrondion a Celebríon

Tyelpefinwë Eldaroquen, Elerondion Tyelperínionyë

Elrohir = Sindarin meaning Elf-knight, from eledh = elf and ro(c)hir = knight. Ro(c)hir is a combination of roch = horse and hîr = lord.

Elrondion = Sindarin meaning son of Elrond, from Elrond and -ion = son of.

Celebríon = Sindarin meaning son of Celebrían, from Celebrían (-an dropped for smoother pronunciation) and -ion = son of.

A = Sindarin meaning and.

.

Tyelpefinwë = Quenya meaning silver Finwë, from tyelpe = silver (archaic form of the later, Teleri-influenced telpe) and Finwë. 

Eldaroquen = Quenya meaning Elf-horseman, from Elda = elf and roquen = horseman. Roquen is a combination of rocco = horse and quen = person. (Hence, the Quenya is gender neutral, do with that what you will)

No epessë = I couldn't think of a good one and neither could he. Suggestions welcome.

Elerondion = Quenya meaning son of Elerondo (Elrond’s Quenya name), from Elerondo and -ion = son of.

Tyelperínion = Quenya meaning son of Tyelperína (Celebrían’s Quenya name), from Tyeperína and -ion = son of.

-Yë = Quenya suffix meaning and, used when combining two titles into one rather than in daily use.

.

Why Tyelpëfinwë?

Celebrían/Telperína my beloved!

Celebrimbor/Tyelperinquar/Tyelpë my beloved, you deserved so much better than Þauron and even though we’re still dealing with the fallout of your arts and crafts project two ages later, we still think you were awesome!

Celeborn/Telporno my dearly, dearly beloved bastard of a father-in-law, meet your grandson, whose father-name, which follows the family tradition of the fuckers who destroyed your birth-city of Doriath, is a tribute to your own name, translated into the specific archaic accent that they used (tyelpë) due to being linguistic purists rather than the still-effectively-illegal-but-not-quite-as-bad Telerin inflection used in your own name (telepë) to distance yourself from the mass-murderers whose adopted son your daughter has married! (Celeborn almost disowns the brat on the spot.)

*

Arwen

Arwen, Elrenniel a Celebríel

Þerifinwë Arwen Undómiel, Elerondiel Tyelperínielyë

Arwen = Sindarin meaning noble maiden, from ara = noble and gwenn = maiden.

Elrenniel = Sindarin meaning daughter of Elrond, from Elrond (why it’s changed to Elrenn- I have no idea) and -iel = daughter of.

Celebríon = Sindarin meaning daugher of Celebrían, from Celebrían (-an dropped for smoother pronunciation) and -iel = daugher of.

A = Sindarin meaning and.

.

Þerifinwë = Quenya meaning broideress Finwë, from þerindë = broideress, Fëanorian þþþ inflection of serindë, and Finwë.

Arawendë = Quenya meaning noble maiden, from Ara- = noble and -wendë = maiden. Almost invariably shortened to Arwen, just as Finwë's youngest daughter Lalwendë went by Lalwen.

Undómiel = Quenya meaning Evenstar

Elerondiel = Quenya meaning daughter of Elerondo (Elrond’s Quenya name), from Elerondo and -iel = daughter of.

Tyelperíniel = Quenya meaning daughter of Tyelperína (Celebrían’s Quenya name), from Tyeperína and -iel = daughter of.

-Yë = Quenya suffix meaning and, used when combining two titles into one rather than in daily use.

.

Why Þerifinwë?

She sews. And embroiders. And weaves. And knits and crochets and makes lace and spins thread and that’s her craft/special interest, ok? She’s damn good at it. She makes Aragon’s standard for the Battle of the Black Gate, the final confrontation of Þauron in the War of the Ring, emblem of hope and faith in humanity, a bright dawn of the Age of Men - that shit is important.

Míriel Þerindë my beloved! Y’know, the one who kickstarted literally the entire history of Middle-Earth with her death? The favourite devotee of Vairë, Weaver of Time? The one who channelled her Sight through her craft and ended up making a tapestry predicting, with staggering accuracy, the downfall of her lineage throughout the First Age? The one whose devotion to her yet-unborn-family was so strong that she chose to fade into Mandos to become one of Vairë’s assistants - basically promoting herself to the role of a minor deity - so that she might just have the chance to redeem something, anything, for her children? The one who caused the rocks to clatter just so in the cave where Elrond and Elros hid, leading to Maglor finding and raising them, the greatest thing the House of Fëanor ever did and the sole exception to the Doom of the Noldor: to evil end shall all things turn that they begin well? Yeah, I think she’s a pretty cool person to be named after.

Seriously, Arwen had to choose the Gift of Men, because Mandos couldn’t handle three badass weavers who quietly hold absolute dominion over the fate of Eä.

Celeborn, my most beloved father-in-law, have yet another grandchild named after problematic members of the House of Fëanor! (Headcanon that the shared Finwëan love language is pissing eachother off.)

*

In conclusion:

Celebrían, Celeboriel a Galadrien, Hîril Imladris

Teleperína, Teleporniel ye Alatárien

Tyelperína, Telporniel Naltarienyë, Heri Arcimbele

Elladan, Elrondion a Celebríon

Laurefinwë Eldatan, Elerondion Tyelperínionyë

Elrohir, Elrondion a Celebríon

Tyelpefinwë Eldaroquen, Elerondion Tyelperínionyë

Arwen, Elrenniel a Celebríel

Þerifinwë Arwen Undómiel, Elerondiel Tyelperínielyë

I have no life

hey guys. guys. hey. get this -

submissive and breathable

I feel like it's not addressed enough that Obi-Wan was so not ready for Anakin at the end of TPM. He wasn't quite ready to be a Knight, let alone take a Padawan, let alone Anakin.

Like, imagine you're 25 years old, already dealing with plenty of issues from your shitshow of a teen-to-young-adult experience when your Master - your father, your friend, your teacher, your guardian of 12 years, who you didn't always have the best relationship with but goddamn it you tried so hard and overcame so much to get to where you are - is literally murdered in front of you by a fucking demon, the ancient bogeymen of all your childhood stories who are suddenly very real and killing the people you love. Everyone looks at you now with so much awe and fear because, in a haze of grief and panic, you managed to become the first to kill a demon in a millennium - which is somehow that's enough of a qualification to immediately graduate your apprenticeship with full honours even though you never actually got the chance to finish it. Five minutes of pure terror turned your life upside down, and now you have to shoulder the burdens of a knighthood that you know you're not ready for, and find some way to live with the crushing expectations that come with your newfound, accidental and very unwanted semi-legendary status. And, if that wasn't enough already, within 24 hours of all this going down, you're also legally responsibly for raising a hyperactive 9 year old ex-slave Child of Prophesy with crippling CPTSD and more power than god. You somehow, somehow have to raise this boy to be both a good Knight - which you haven't had a chance to figure out how to be yourself yet - and a functional person - which was never and easy thing for you to be but is getting harder by the day. You desperately want to do right by your new Padawan and honour your Master's dying wish but you're not ready for any of this, you didn't ask for it, and you're trying so hard to not repeat Qui-Gon's mistakes whilst also being painfully aware that you can never live up to what he could have been. Then there's homework and missions and nightmares and you worry that Anakin isn't making friends and you haven't slept more than 3 hours a night in weeks and the President of the Galaxy is pressuring you for some Private Alone Time with your child -

How the fuck is anyone supposed to handle that?

Fuckin pigeons warbling their bastard drunken coo-coo-coo right in my ear at 5am on Sunday in every goddamn season no matter what fucking continent I'm in. Gotta rank them right beside seagulls, slugs and 13 year old boys as my absolute least favourite creatures on God's Admittedly Kind Of Ok Earth.

Hc that the clones' pigdin evolves so fast over the course of the war that each battalion ends up having it's own distinct accent, influenced by the different languages, accents and cultures they're exposed to via their jedi, the planets they visit, the other battalions they interact with, even trending holo-series. (did anyone else have a very intense Brambly Hedge phase as a child that included imitating the weirdly upper-class accents of those funky lil play doh mice???)

Eventually this leads to a multi-layered Disaster of a 'language' (like english) where there's 18 different words for everything, grammar is for squares, and your CMO can cuss you out non-stop for the entire 45-minute shrapnel extraction surgery without ever repeating himself.

Mandalorian head cannons part three: Accents

Concord Dawn: A thick, country western accent. Often noted for its roughness and harsh sounding words. To Mando'ade living on Mandalore, it is intelligible, and it is considered butchered Mando'a by the upper class. Jango Fett and Jaster Mereel have really strong Concord Dawn accents, Jaster slowly lost his as Mand'alor. It only comes out when mad or frustrated. Kal Skirata also has a Concord Dawn accent, but it as not as thick, unlike Jaster's and Jango's. Arla Fett had one, but she lost it due to her time as Death Watch's prisoner. Pre Vizsla had one as well, but Tor 'conditioned' it out of him. Boba Fett has it, but it is softer than Jango's or Jaster's.

Mandalore: Standard Mando'a accent. It only changes when one is in Keldabe or in Sunduri. This is the accent a lot of Mando'ade have.

Sunduri: Sunduri accents mirror High Coruscant accents, with soft flowery words. It is jarring to traditionalists, who are used to the roughness and bluntness that is Mando'a.

Concordia: A bastardization of so many different accents. But similar to Concord Dawn's.

Krowncurst: Very rough. It is often described as being blunt and short to the point. No room for BS.

The clones: Pidgin Mando'a. No describable accent, due to the different trainers they had. The ALPHA-class and the CC clones have an accent that was the closest to a Concord Dawn accent. The Corries lost theirs due to being in Coruscant during the duration of the war.

Fellas I have committed an oopsie

I in my ignorance assumed

That the train on the right platform at the right time would be the right train

Wrong!

I got on board sat down for a nap and now I am in Oxford?????