Bale

The sign of high quality is the fact the book was banned by the government. Trash literature NEVER EVER had any troubles with the law.

Whenever Bruce can't do something as Batman he sends one of his kids in the cowl. Literally any of his kids. To deal with having to wear the cowl, they turn it into a game: will the justice league notice that Batman isn't the person under the mask?

Spoiler alert, they don't.

Somehow, the league never notices when it's not Bruce under the cowl, or at least that it's not the same person they all know.

Like never.

______

Hal: Hey Bats, you look taller today.

Jason, determined not to lose: hm

Hal, sensing danger and immediately backtracking: uh, that's not to say you don't usually look tall, I mean you just look taller today, um did you change your ear thingies?

Jason: *Batglare intensifies*

Hal: uh, I'm just gonna go

_______

Aquaman: you've been quiet this whole meeting, Batman, even for you.

Cass, currently wearing shoulder pads and absolutely insane platform boots: *a fim huff of breath*

Aquaman: right sorry, I forgot you were dealing with another mass break out from Arkham this week, you don't need to stay for the whole meeting. We know you probably know everything already anyway

Cass: *nods*

_____

Flash: Morning Batman. *zooms past*

Duke, absolutely befuddled:

Duke, quietly into his comm: you'd think the speedster would have the time to notice

The several batkids on the other side of the line: *laughing hysterically.*

Dick, wheezing: just do the thing where B tucks the lower half of his face into his cape like he's Dracula. You're doing great.

Bruce, from somewhere in the cave, actively giving up on the assumption that his coworkers have at least one working braincell between them: stop comparing me to Dracula, Dick

I'm curious. Reblog this if you know how to cook

I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat. 

If anyone tries to reanimate Dick, he will require bath toys in his lazarus pit

DpxDC #14

Idea that Tim is The Reincarnation of Danny but Ras is The Reincarnation of Vlad. I think that Vlad would get his Memories Back when Danny is born. it'd be really funny for him just to devolve into a comically evil supervillain when everyone's like he is a deadly danger and he's just laughing as he realized that his Nemesis has been born.

 I think Danny wouldn't get their memories back until a little bit after they've been Robin. It's their first near death experience and then they're like God damn it, can I never not be a vigilante. 

While Danny's on a mission in his early days as robin. he run into the league of assassins and end up getting kidnapped. I just want Vlad to try and intimidate this new Robin while Danny just locks eyes with him and knows. Danny will be like, you are no longer a threat to me. 

 Danny uses the Lazarus pit to talk to Clockwork to get Bruce back but as far as anyone is concerned he just went to the League of Assassins. It's also really funny if no one notices that they have this rivalry until after Bruce's back. like in Cannon where Ras wants him to be his heir but instead it's just Danny and Vlad who have way too much history not to throw down the second day they see each other. Everyone expects swords and verbal sparring when in reality they see each other and instantly fist fight.

Sometimes I feel like us as the bat family fandom forget how starry eyed people get about Nightwing canonically.

Because with the exception of early era Tim most of the Batkids are like. lol that’s my loser older brother or some variation of yeah…he’s some guy I guess? He helps me with homework?

And Nightwing is the canonically a center of multiversal light.

When Heroes meet Nightwing they do the vigorous handshake and the “it’s an honor to meet you sir, I have heard so much about you oh my god”

There are so many character where they are literally shown giggling and kicking their feet whenever Nightwing talks to them.

Even the people who don’t have the celebrity level worship of him respect the hell out of him and call him as soon as they need help.

From raven to Starfire to Superman to Superboy to all or the flashes there is so much respect and awe given to this one dude.

And it is deserved

But imagine you are Damian Wayne and you’ve been working with what 90% of the people you’ve met (all bats) have been calling an embarrassment to your father’s legacy.

Your mother hates him and your Grandfather doesn’t feel that strongly about him.

The red hood calls him an embarrassment and a coward and he couldn’t even keep Red Robin from running away.

Your father tells him that he never should have been Batman

And you’ve worked with him and you know what you think everyone is full of shit about him and you and him the new Batman and Robin are the best no matter what anyone says.

And fuck it the fact he keeps going in a suit that everyone tells him he’s not good enough for is scratching something in your brain that you’re refusing to acknowledge because why would you feel that way? You are the circus freak have nothing in common (shut up)

And then you meet the justice league and all the extended teams.

And people are falling over themselves to listen to a word out of your brothers, your Batman’s mouth. They wait for a nod or headshake and dictate decades worth of planning on it.

Both Drake and Todd’s hero teams ask him for advice with or without their designated bats presence.

The man of steel asks for child rearing advice and wonder woman cracks a joke about a spar

Newer heroes whisper about him in the halls

He’s literally your favorite hero’s favorite hero

And it’s breaking Damian’s Brain

Because well… he kinda gets slapped around in Gotham. He’s the butt of half the jokes the other Batkids make and Dick just smiles and takes it.

The rogues have a bounty on nightwings ass and he gets leered at by goons, rogues, civilians and anti-hero’s alike and he doesn’t say anything.

He lets oracle crack jokes about a pretty face and having to do everything herself

Let’s Jason run the alley despite the fact that apparently he knows how to take it back

Apparently he’s had 12 people tailing Drake since Paris and despite being the man Ra’s Al Ghul calls detective has yet to notice. (Because you can’t tell me Dick was just magically at the right place to catch Tim falling to his death on coincidence)

And necessary to peace talks because he’s the best they have at deescalation

Like imagine you are a child who was raised to believe power is this obvious, all consuming thing. That the ones who control the board are visibly larger than life figures who fought their way to the top and cling to power by even the thinnest hangnail if they had to.

People who ignore simpler morals or an overall greater goal or good

And then you’re taken in by the man who whispers the correct answers into the larger than life figures ear.

Like I feel like that would have such an impact because Dick didn’t take power from anyone to reach his goals, it’s why his siblings don’t really defer to him unless in crisis.

Dick didn’t take power, no people just looked at him and decided he was the best option to give it to.

Everyone basically looked at this kid and went, yeah you’re the future of all heroism.

And if that dude can’t even get Bruce Wayne’s respect what chance does Damian Wayne have

Vibe check from god

Dan who, for some reason, ended up in the DC universe after having his timeline erased and bolting so he could then return to fuck shit up for his past (is it even his past self anymore, after having his timeline erased? Is he still Danny?) self: I'm going to destroy everything.

Martha and Jonathan Kent: Simply exists and shows him kindness.

Dan:

Dan a moment later: You know what? I can hold off on that for a while.

***

Martha and Jonathan Kent: We really want a child.

Clockwork, who really shouldn't be looking at this timeline and sticking to his own and stop being such a nosy bitch: I can help with that!

Martha and Jonathan Kent looking at this gigantic, walking tank of a man who looks like he needs help: Is kind to him

Martha and Jonathan Kent literally a week later: So we accidentally adopted an adult but I don't think he knows that yet.

***

Dan a good few years later, hasn't aged a day but nobody really talks about it, currently sipping some milk minding his own business:

A crash echoed as the Kent's go and check it out. Dan is debating if he should sit still or bolt out of the door too.

Martha and Jonathan: So, how do you feel about a new sibling?

Dan: I don't have any siblings.

The Kents, holding up a baby Clark: Well you do now!

Later Dan cries after finally realizing that he's been adopted despite living with these people for years.

just had a random question come up in my mind- if Void did in fact age in the prison dimension, but couldn’t die as he claimed in the fic, what would have happened if he didn’t manage to teleport? Would he have just continued to age? Does that incline that he would just grow super super old but never die from his old age? Perhaps there was a time loop thingy for the prison dimension where it makes you age multiple times: for example, you would grow very old and then “restart” to the age you were when you got trapped there. Like an endless cycle of aging. I mean- the place was created to be an inescapable prison of physiological torture and high chance of insanity-

…I’m probably looking wayyyy too much into this- my brain likes background info a lot hehe ✨👍

oooooooo this is a fun theory i love it!!

well, to be honest... i hadn't thought about it too much. because, frankly, my base was that aging would not stop. which is probably a bit too Hard Core to think about, but I do love the idea of a cycle style hehe.

"but what about the other Krang trapped in the prison dimension"

WELL this also may be over thinking it, but i like to think that Krang 1) have extremely long lifespans and 2) for them, there isn't quite a state of "death"...

Rather, I like to think that if a Krang becomes too old to fight or their minds start to deteriorate, they move on to their 'last stage of life'.... which is to be assimilated into the organic matter that makes their Krang tech. I like to think that the organic matter that makes up the Technodrome (and other Krang tech that utilizes the 'hive mind'/'organic piloting') is made up of Krang that have 'died'. That's how their tech can be organic and mesh with the pilot so well.

But!! That's just a fun theory. (A bit more comforting than Leo running into vegetable Krang bodies just laying around, right???) But for Leo, homie would have ended up looking like Master Oogway eventually LOL