Diary: 12th March 2022

DIARY:

14th of March 2022

--

i woke up from a dream that i was in kinokuniya and checking out an official sketch of asuka from the animators of evangelion for rm169 after looking at a really thick art book. IT WAS HEAVEN!! i recall not wanting to wake up bc of how heavenly jt was and because i thought about waking up, i actually woke up. DANG!!"#!#!

i sat in the living room for so long and only went out to eat at 12. i got jean first thing in the morning (12am), on her birthday!!!! i "broke down" because i didn't know whether to eat at my favourite western restaurant or at mcdonalds. we were going to stop by my M grandmother's house for lunch again so i can't order anything too lavish but i also wanted to eat in the restaurant!!! i can't eat anything non luxurious in there... my parents made the decision for me.😇

set meal: garlic bread and mushroom soup, fillet o fish in sour oil (for me), two scoops of ice cream (vanilla n chocolate chip).

oh my dar. was my grandmother's dishes tasty! garlic prawn (it was so good the flesh tasted salty and springy even without its shell), yaumak, broccoli and carrots, fried chicken, sweet and sour chicken...

we sat in her house for so long because it was raining dog and cat😒😒😒. i wanted to go back so bad but i couldn't. i mostly read and surfed the internet there. (and watched two episodes of sasaki and miyano...)

when i came back to my P grandparents' house i immediately dashed toward my laptop bc i downloaded valorant this afternoon. i waited for my dad and mom to finish showering while playing a practice match. i suck at this game, never playing again.

dinner was ok i really liked the potatos and rice! while it was raining the mama cat was letting her kitten snug into her tummy for a few hours. its so darn cute!!

after dinner i spent all my time relentlessly scrolling through shopee in hopes of finding good sanrio gifts for my friend whose birthday passed two days ago. until now. its 23:04!!! and i think I've found it.

genshin people as your coworkers

includes: kazuha, itto, albedo, scaramouche

i'm officially starting the most boring part of my life. working in a 9 to 5 job counting the stock of products in the company until its dinnertime and writing excel reports during OT.

being a fresh graduate of college, i have chosen to be an intern at utopeeia sdn. bhd to afford my meals and detergent.

the scariest part is the introducing yourself part. hobbies? favourite colour? it's hard to choose, as i am a multi talented individual and likes every colour because i'm not biased.

hey, im ____. i like public speaking, skydiving, writing essays, angering my boss and other scary and extreme things.

yup, im going to let that be my future coworkers first impression of me.

all right, so for the next few days, i'll write my experiences with my friends in the corp!

kazuha

- sometimes helps me with my reports when he's free (such a sweetheart!)

- i WILL give him chocolate on valentine's!

- writes everyone poems on their birthdays

- treats coworkers to dinner

- in a party, always the sober one

-

itto

- will ride a scooter after work or put me in a trolley and push me into a puddle

- lets our onikabutos battle, he treats the battles like pokemon eraser battles. his onikabuto almost got confiscated once

- pranks our boss sometimes (i don't know how he got his hands on a fake cockroach. as far as i know, he can't save money for shit.)

- always in the pantry

- is the one who stocks up the shared fridge

albedo

- he's very normal.

- he sometimes acts so different from his usual self i kind of suspect he just got tired and slept in bed the whole day and his clone comes in the workplace.

- doesn't ever come to our after work parties

- everyone always talks about his "angelic" voice when he's not here

- he's easygoing and is very cheeky IF you know he's joking and being smug

- always gives away candy? why does he have so much of them???

scaramouche

- our bad tempered boss

- scolds us for scaring the customers when it's him who scared them away.. rolls eyes

- he's too grandeur. his whole room is made of glass, an amateur way to display wealth.

- noone likes him except our super straight coworker nina who gushes over every boy who passes by her even if they're assholes

- probably has a wife somehow. (we stole some glances at his photo frame on his desk and it was some wedding photo?! and he was kissing the bride?!)

- at least he's generous and doesn't give us a shitty payroll for the fussy things he makes us do

i want scaramouche to humiliate me at the top wangshu inn like pleasee dial my number 😍😍

This could’ve been better but I’m dep*essed 🤪✌🏼

pairing: ??? scara’s ur captain and ur a soldier

tw: language, he’s ovbs humiliating u

wc: 382 yikes

You could feel the burn in your thighs the higher the stairs went. Looking over to the side at your friend, you kind of grimace as he seemed as cool as ever. “I hate when we get stationed here!” You whisper. Your friend shrugs as everyone keeps on. “Lord Scaramouche never lets us take the elevator like he does! Why do we have to take the stairs?”

It seemed like the stairs would never end. Your legs grew heavier and heavier with each step, your thighs trembling underneath you. But finally the peak of the stairs came into view. As expected, your captain did not wait for all of you there. “Of course he isn’t here,” you continue to complain to your friend as you reach the top. “He’s just like Captain Tartaglia. I bet you he’s up there flirting with the staff—”

“Excuse me?”

Your squad halted. You look back up at the stairs where your captain stood with his arms crossed and a deathly glare in his eyes. “S-Sir, I—”

“You dare compare me to some half-wit, inexperienced twenty-something baby who couldn’t handle being swallowed up by the abyss, ass-chasing rookie?” Scaramouche took a step down and halved your squadron to meet you face to face. “Tartaglia would’ve killed you right on the spot, soldier. You’re lucky that I choose to punish you outside of the public eye.”

You swallow a lump in your throat. His eyes were sharp and menacing. You felt sweat rolling down your skin underneath your uniform every time his eyes twitched. “I-I’m sorry sir!!”

“You wanna take the elevator so fucking bad? Then take the fucking elevator!”

You chewed on the inside of your cheek as he yelled at you. But was he being serious? “I can…take the elevator?”

Your captain smiled, almost innocently. But you knew that there was nothing sweet about his grin. “Yes, private. You can take the elevator down and walk back up the stairs once more. We will be waiting.” Scaramouche turned then to walk back up the stairs.

“B-But—”

Your captain stopped where he was on the stairs and looked at you over his shoulder. “Shut the fuck up and do as I say, you incompetent piece of shit!”

You let out a heavy sigh and grimace. “Y-Yes sir…”

photos for keepsake

yall😻😻😻

TODAYS STREAM! “WHERE’S MY UNDERWEAR?!”

☆ CATCHING ALBEDO JERKING OFF ; VALENTINES COLAB

PAUSE! This a little messy since your girl hasn’t been writing smut in a good century 🤪🔨 secretly lowkey dying bcs of how bad this is lolz 😝🔫 reader lowkey changed personas lowkey 1000 times in the course of a sentence but don’t mind that 👩‍🦯

Edit; accidentally posted on the wrong day oops

QUOTE! “WERE YOU JUST MASTURBATING?”

Albedo felt awful.

He felt disgusted with himself.

Albedo sat in his bed with a frustrated look on his face, just what was he doing? Sitting on his bed, your underwear wrapped around his cock as he imagined it was you. Telling him how perverted the well known and respected alchemist disgusted you. How stupid he was that before he started jerking off he was conflicted on whether he wanted your panties on his face or wrapped around his dick.

So here he was, sprawled out on the bed, while he wrapped his hand, the one that stole your underwear from your drawers, around his dick, his hand moving up and down sloppily.

As he was imagining you jerking him off, talking to him, he didn’t even realize how realistic it started to get. “Were you just masturbating?” he heard your voice nearby. Well of course he was, you should know if you’re a part of his mind. His eyes moved to where the sound came from, the doorway, he saw your figure standing there with your arms crossed.

Now the imagination of your body disappears in his mind. Instead he saw the real thing, the very much real person staring at him, face unreadable. Albedo tried reading your facial expression, but he couldn’t tell if you were angry, sad, joyful, disgusted, anything.

Though what Albedo did know was that he needed to hide his naked body from you. He quickly pulled the covers over his body, frantically trying to grab your underwear away from your view.

While Albedo was panicking about hiding his body and your underwear, he didn’t even notice how close you were. That was until he felt a dip in his bed.

“My my, I was wondering where my underwear has been going,” you stole your underwear back from Albedo whose face was an uncharacteristically red, “I went to your room to ask if you knew anything about it, but it seems you were the one who has been stealing them” Your voice was monotone just as your expression has been.

What would you do now? Tell everyone how perverted he was? Would you never talk to him again? Thoughts were racing in his mind about all the possible outcomes. The tension not helping his mind ease up a single bit.

“If you wanted me so bad you should’ve just asked” A teasing smile was on your face, showing the first emotion since you walked in. Albedo could only stutter random nonsense, puzzled on why you weren’t screaming at him.

Your hand moved to his cock as you made strong eye contact with him, stroking his dick slowly. “You know you’re going to get punished right?” Albedo gave a nod, guilt overwhelming him, but at the same time lost in the pleasure of your hand going teasingly slow, “Afterall, I had to buy many new pairs because of how much were taken”

“I’m s-s-sorry Y-Y/n-” before he could finish his apology, your hand tightened around his cock making Albedo let out a loud groan.

“It’s mistress right now to you” you reply in a stern tone, watching as Albedo yelped out a yes mistress, before going back to jerking him off. “You’re not allowed to cum unless I say so, you filthy pervert, stealing underwear from me, got it?”

Albedo nodded hastily, accepting the outcome, feeling butterflies fill up his stomach as you called him a pervert and filthy. “Ye-yes m-mist-tress” he moaned out as his back slightly arched.

“Good, look at how much of a pervert you are, getting turned on by me calling you names” feeling his cock twitch earlier and now as you kept calling him names. You started to speed up your hand, no longer going at an unbearable slowness.

“Mistress! Please!” Albedo whined, tears slightly pricking his eyes as he felt the burning feeling of edging since he was jerking off earlier and now you are giving him a handjob. “What? What do you want whore?” you asked boredly, no longer caring as you picked at your nails.

“C-can you pl-pl-pl-” the ashy blonde could only stutter, focusing on the word please. “Aww what a dumb whore, can’t even talk properly” you played with his hair, twirling the strands around your pointer finger, your bored expression only making Albedo more frustrated on not being able to talk.

“Pl-please… y-your p-p-pussy” he moaned out, his teal eyes focusing on your face, waiting for your response through he teary vision. You hummed for a bit, making Albedo wait in anticipation as he continued to moan from your hands that skillfully jerked him off.

“Alright I guess, since the dumb whore could actually manage to get a sentance out finally” your hand lets go of his cock, it made Albedo whine for a moment as you undressed before he felt your legs staddle his body, sinking down onto his dick.

You watched Albedo’s face slowly change, his eyes slightly rolled back, a loud smooth moan escaping his pink lips as his hands clenched onto your thighs tightly.

——— am I going to end it early??? yeees,,, was I planning on writing more??? Absolutely,,, did I proofread this??? Ofc not,,, was this rushed??? That’s a secret I’ll never tell, xoxo, gossip girl

9TH MARCH DIARY + BOOK REVIEW

DIARY

today me and my family are planning to go to taiping, perak!! our hometown! my mom, dad and i's birth place!! he planned to depart early in the morning but i only woke up at 10am.

after i brushed my teeth, chicken flavoured instant noodles with Australian cabbage were graced with my presence.

i still ate so many things after eating the noodles. (like.. half a steamed pork bun.. cucumber, boiled egg...)

my dad took so darn long to search what a store he wanted to visit halfway through the highway was named after. (SPOILER: we didn't get to buy the biscuits he spent 30 mins searching for prior to our trip)

i was bored out of my mind for the first two hours, sleeping (awakely) for like half an hour then waking up to pee. the petrol station was such a good experience!! the squatting toilet is so convenient for people lazy to wipe the toilet seat.

after an hour we arrived in the city of ipoh! it's really close to taiping but we just couldn't stand it anymore the chicken rice shop there was so famous.

walking past many shoplots we saw a fluffy white cat spotted with gray! i swear i heard it meowing but when i meowed it didn't meow back that cibai!

my dad ordered 3 bowls of butter rice, tauge, white chicken and braised chicken feet! IT WAS SO GOOD LWT ME TELL YOU!!! but the portions were very small. thank god they were because i would've felt more carsick later if it wasn't...

so my dad was researching a biscuit shop in ipoh for half an hour because he forgot the name and directions. when we queued in front of the shop. the person in front of us got the biscuits but we didn't!! "sold out," they said.. "we only made half today," they said...

after exiting ipoh we were on the road for 1.5 hours i think. i felt like it was 1.5hrs. i read my book about animals there. IT WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE!!!! i felt like the food hasn't completely digested yet. i would feel uncomfortable already if i wasn't in a car but now im also reading a book?! im def asking for it imo. but i cant stop reading the book bc this road trip is so darn boring!!! this goddamn radio station plays the same songs every 2 hours.

when we arrived at my maternal grandmother's house my mom played snake chess with mg younger cousins while me and my dad watched dramas hahaha. im on ep 28 of falling into your smile!!! i can't live without it.

i also ate two fried fishballs from the dining room! hehehe.. nothing really happened in her house. after we left we tried to find food. we went to a hawker stall. when my dad was buying siam laksa, pepper pork belly soup, satay and kuih kak, i was playing my mp3 songs to my mom. she laughed when i tried to sing etoile et toi from kizumonogatari!

i can't. the food was horrible. even i who has a lotta pity for chefs who botched their food i can't forgive this. not when my soup tastes like plain water with pepper in it! it was rm9.90. THE ONE IN KEPONG was so much nicer and 90 cents cheaper. this is supposed to be a small town! even the cheaper one in the city is better?! but that one in kepong is my favourite store ever so i can't judge. the satay was average. it smelled so good but its texture is like chicken breast which im not a fan of.

i forgot to wash my hair today🥺

when i returned to my paternal grandparents' house (where we were staying at), i bathed and played with my phone until i felt guilty and started reading my book which ill be writing a review of later.

A/N: i was also talking to flies and chasing them out of the room but they weren't getting out. and when i was opening the door another fly came in. fucking cibai!!!!

BOOK REVIEW

Big Game by Stuart Gibbs

OKAY. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ FIVE STARS! FULL!

i expected this book to be fcking trash because. i thought people on goodreads were high when reading this book. but no!!! they are perfectly sober.

i think im the target audience here. young teenagers. and mr gibbs served! the cover is really nicely drawn and the hardcover rocks! i got it super half priced at book xcess i love that store. the paper skin of the cover and the hardcover expensive notebook-esque format got me down on my knees!

OK SO. the main character. Teddy. super cute and likable. knows a darn lot about animals. i searched some of the animals he mentioned online and they are. SO CUTE! he's super smart too. reading about 7th grade life just gives me memories! i graduated primary school in covid so it was a comfort to me knowing how normal peoples 7th grade went i guess.

the story is an exciting slow burn. you get to like everyone in the cast and follow teddy and his friends as they try to expand the list of suspects. even though reading about kids trying to solve a mystery isn't that fun, i somehow didn't drop the book. it was like real life in a way. it isn't exciting like tv shows but it portrays real life. you feel like you're actually teddy and things that happen to him might happen to you too.

it's so fun to see them chasing potential killers around and getting wrongly accused. it's so uncertain you might never steadily make a guess on who is the killer. 50 pages later ___ is the main suspect. 20 pages later xxx is likely...? you never hold on to a suspect for more than 60 pages until it makes you doubt yourself and you don't pick suspect to suspect at all.

AND THE PLOT TWIST!!!! yes i said jt i dont need to elaborate don't i. it just means there is an unprecedented plot twist.

the ending was really unexpected and i really enjoyed it. i was bored out of my mind before i read the ending so it was really worth it. (and my time)

😭😭

Dolor [GI!Albedo]

Pairing: Albedo x Female!Reader 

Warnings: Angst, mentions of blood n darkish imagery woop

A/N: uh ha haaaa, I’m alive and picking lyrics apart to my needs bc if you know the song I used it isn’t meant like his lol I am not heavily well-versed on Albedo lore or how his general character is. I have a slight idea and I wanted to give a friend some hurty times. So this was born in about.. three to four hours with no editing yay. I also added Klee because I love her and I am sorry ((She does not get hurt she just has emotions))

dolor;;pain

“ Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʏᴇs, ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ..”

‘The truth of this world…’  

Something that Albedo mumbled once in a blue, almost as if he was his normal self again. Then again, many would argue that he was never really normal in the first place. He was always the ever distanced and well distinguished alchemist of the Knights of Favonius. No one truly knew him well or personally, so it was more than a shock to others that he had found himself a special someone. He started to become his own sort of normal then. A little awkward mess of stumbles and soft words.

The adoration, however, was so very pure. It was so real and true- the kind that could change ones life, either by giving such feelings, or by being the lucky soul to receive them. 

Keep reading

12/8

for breakfast i made pitas. baked them, cut tomatoes, shaved cucumbers and cut bananas (sprinkled with expired cinnamon!). after they were done i scrambled a plain egg with only ground cinnamon on it. it was tasty but i only ate half cuz my mom wanted to go dimsum shop. (tuition at 11am)

at 9 something we arrived at jiaxuan dimsum or something similar sounding. when waiting, went to 99 speedmart. loved scrutinising the processsed bread section. the mighty white bun variety is actually mesmerizing. the packaging is very attention grabbing. strawberry lychee, butter sugar, milo, chicken floss, black pepper chicken, blueberry flavours etc!!! like wtf so many flalvors!! some other brand was mas producing multiflavoured muffins. 8 for rm5.30 dude what a deal! except i guess eating it may cause serious cardiovascular diseases teehee.

ordered 2 salted egg yolk custard buns (SUPER GOOD DUDE), 2 char siew pau (EH OK BUT GOOD), 6 siew mai (TASTED LIKE MINCED MEAT), fried turnip cake (rlly GOOD!!), fried prawn, scallop and salted egg yolk beancurd thing (love the blandness of it FOR REAL!! cuz i only ate the egg yolk part. it wasnt distributed EVENLY LOL). siew mai fell into my warm water and drenched it in oil. cuz i was grabbing it with chopsticks then my dad asked where a siew mai go and i raised it to show him that i took one.. lol. total bill: RM78 ☠️. at least it was a pleasant experience.

went home and ate oreo cadbury chocolate bar and the other half of my breakfast pita. tuition. shower. went to tapao lunch. mayang oasis food court - malay mixed rice. omg!!! pickled veggies (carrot, cucumber, onion) SO TASTYYYYYY OMGGG IM GONNA CUM, steamed broccoli (SO TENDER!! LOVE LOVE LOVE) and rendang chicken drumstick (fragrANTTT!! not implying that there were many ants at that stall, just felt like making ANT capitalised). dad bought additionally 2 angku kuih and 2 fried glutinous sesame balls. delicious. for lunch also ate chili lala clams and orange. then snacked on angku kuih, pocky, cadbury chocolate and kuih bahulu. i need to control my eating habits!!!

wrote poems, drew posters, revamped dress rental poster, wrote a story…. good night. so full. ugh!

lessons learnt at educastle's seminar!

25/6 last sunday, i attended educastle's seminar on how to be motivated to learn!

through this talk, i learnt that LEARNING is a choice. it will NOT end after writing that PhD thesis📃. what matters is your curiosity🔍. noone is content with knowing only surface level textbook knowledge, they must also want to know the depths of the iceberg! 🤔

you are a student🧑🏼‍🎓not because you are binded to high school🏫, but because you are learning. an old man without a degree can also be a student. you choose to learn than stay idle, so congratulations, learner! 📚

a way to be constantly motivated to learn is to develop curiosity for the workings of life🤯. for me, i am extremely interested in the fields of mechanics and engineering🥼, so i will learn that as an interest.

a fact i learnt was that you will remember more of something when you question it🤔, more than if the speaker was directly spitting out facts you don't want to know about.🥱

to understand in depth about real-life problems🤨, you can use the 7 layer technique in which you question your answer 7 times💭. you can use this to develop higher order thinking skills🤔 and also know the contributing factors to your dilemmas.

why do i crave validation? because __. why __? because ___. why...... .... x7

You shouldn't keep reminding yourself how old you are.

Sure, you can always reminisce about when you were a kid, how weird it was that you were pre-pubescent. But being stuck in the past and awe-stricken by how young you were doesn't help, because you're getting older as you think about that. You don't have time to daydream about your childhood, unless it's for self reflection and improvement, because you have to keep moving. You're not even that old now, you just think you are because you're jealous of all the time the kids have left compared to you while in actuality you have just as much time as they do to chase your dreams, because you're not an arthritis-struck old lady yet.

thank you.