I’m Gonna Be Honest, I Don’t Think SJ Would Have Ever Been Happy As A Peak Lord. The Only Reason

Tired and dejected from the large number of people around Shen Jiu :<

*cups ao3 author's face in my hands gently* please. you are the only one who understands the blorbos correctly. you must write more.

My favourite angst couple dynamics (Unsaid thoughts)

"Am I even worthy of your Love?"

"Is my Love enough for you to stay for?"

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"Ask me to stay for you"

"Please tell me you want to stay"

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"You had to have realized by now, How can you not know?"

"I just couldn't let myself hope, it would have been my destruction"

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"My existence is not worth anything"

"I would have no purpose in this world had you not existed"

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"There is nothing for me in this world"

"Take me, my blood, my bones, my everything, until I have nothing else to give"

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"My Love is more of a curse than a blessing"

"If you can't bless me with your love, atleast curse me till the end of time"

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"Let me go, I have nothing left to live for"

"All this pain I have endured, just to watch you wither away"

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"What about you, who are you in love with, it couldn't possibly be me"

"Love me, even if I know I am asking for the impossible"

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"You will never acknowledge our connection, I watch you follow everyone else with your eyes"

"If only I had the courage to tell you, you live in my heart"

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"You will break my heart I know, then why can't I let you go"

"Don't forgive me, I don't deserve it"

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"I wish I could be what you deserved"

"Ofc, you wouldn't have wanted me, nobody has ever wanted me"

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"I was a selfish person once, now look, i made myself better for you"

"Did I do this to you, did my expectations destroy you too?"

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"No one can love me, even I can't love myself"

"Let me love you, I would love you enough for the both of us"

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"I will destroy you, I corrupt everything I touch"

"I am drowning in my darkness, your touch is my salvation not destruction"

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"I always thought the worst of you, turns out all this time I was the one hurting you"

"You, even filled with hatred for me, are my lifejacket in this sea of oblivion"

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"I am nothing but an object, a toy, a weapon. No one even sees me as a person"

"Had I been powerful enough, you wouldn't have had to be anything other than yourself"

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"Don't let me destroy you, push me away first"

"If you are my end, let me greet destruction like an old friend"

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"I would take being born in this world again and again if it means meeting you, even just for the possibility of you, I'd take that chance"

"I would take living in this cruel world forever it means having you, even for a second, i'd take that chance"

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"You are the reason of all this pain, not just mine but everybody's. So why, why can't I just hate you"

"Hate me, curse me, destroy me but for all the negativity there is.... don't be indifferent to me"

men have one homoerotic rivalry and make it everyones problem for the rest of their life

I think YQY’s actual reaction to SJ’s death would be a numb kind of “there’s nothing to do but keep going” mindset and then spending years in and out of a dissociative haze (this is basically what I think happened between him finding the ashes of the Qiu manor and running into SJ again), but it’s SO tempting to make him break down properly.

gay ass snippet of my oc lore

my svsss comic about sqq and his little personality split (what if)

honestly qijiu are so crazy like wdym the two highest-ranked peak lords of the cultivation world's largest sect are childhood friends, rags to riches, lovers to enemies, "the one that got away" and they HID IT. FROM ALL THE OTHER PEAK LORDS. FOR DECADES. NOT EVEN A SINGLE PERSON KNEW???

I keep brainrotting on the idea of Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan being twins and Shen Yuan’s physical body dying as a child when they were at the Qiu estate, but Shen Jiu, in distress, did something that locked Shen Yuan’s soul to his own body. And Shen Yuan has been body sharing with his brother in the background without control for decades until the qi deviation flipped them.

good evening