An Excerpt Of Tonight’s Date Convo

An excerpt of tonight’s date convo

Me: this is my exact problem with MHA like yeah blood is gross and Japan has different sensibilities than us but you can not tell me Toga wouldn’t fucking book it to America and instantly gain a huge following

(we had been talking about vampires)

My datemate: just makes a cult

Me: exactly! Or like discrimination against quirkless people you can’t tell me they’re isn’t like quirkless cities dominating some niche part of the market (like Silicon Valley and all the gays moving to the same places)

DM (datemate): like basketball or or

Me: they make all the icecream

DM: XD all the dairy farmers are quirkless

Me: the cows just fucking smell a quirk and kick them

More Posts from Elvesandlanterns and Others

4 years ago

Writing Prompt

Elronds reaction to the story of Cassandra and Apollo.

Just think of how hard that would hit Elrond.

Bonus points if it’s a child telling him the story. (Don’t know why but I love the whole child telling a profound story to the adult thing).

If anyone uses this please link it in the comments- I would love to read it!!! ❤️


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2 years ago

Ghost helpline part 19 Back to Work

Alright so throwing herself off a tall tree hadn’t been the best idea but it had worked! The kid was off her trail, now she’d be able to … spy on him? Stop his evil pan? Alright so she didn’t know exactly what she could do with this information but she would figure it out!

Al Ghuls are dangerous and Robin is an Al Ghul. Batman had to know that! But … did the Wayne’s? Violet had watched a lot of their TV appearances while she was out sick and …Brucie was just that Brucie. Adorable but dumb.

This was the guy who crashed into a tower champagne flutes at his own party! The guy who got drunk and fell off ships! … The guy who sent her flowers and texted dad cat pics. There’s no way he knew just how evil the Al Ghuls were, one of them must have used him for the money. Or maybe his kid was adopted like the rest of them… but then why hide it?

“Uuuughhhhh why does this all have to be so confusing!” Ahhhh! She just wanted to fight something! Having a clear target would be so much easier!

Were the Wayne’s in trouble? Chances were the kid was a master manipulator, a killer trained from birth!

Birth… the statement made Violet feel bad. But it was probably the truth, she remembered those swords, that smug look her gave her during the summons. The look humans get when they think they can kill something bigger than them. The kid was a killer… the same kid that tried to catch her when she “fell”. The same kid that apparently painted, and panicked. And allowed himself to be dragged away by his older brother.

Maybe … maybe …

Knock knock

“Come in!”

Step step cccrreeaakk step step ccccrrreeakk

“Oh, hey Chad.”

This was weird… Chad never sought Violet out.

“Sit down let me look at your legs.”

“Oh! Am I due for a tune up? We can go down to the workshop instead?”

“Stop talking and sit down.”

She sat, igniting a magic circle on her leg. Hearing air escape for a brief moment before her leg popped off and clanged to the floor. Repeating the process with her other leg she took a chance to look at Chad. Her brother seemed …sad?

“You should take better care of yourself.”

“What?”

“I said take better care of yourself, you’re making dad worry.” He tinkered with the metal legs.

“Oh sorry.” Violet had meant to make dad worry, he already had enough on his plate. And now she had even bothered Chad over something simple. If she were smarter she’d be able to keep up with her prosthetics by herself.

“Good. Don’t get sick again. It’s bothersome.”

Right. Bothersome.

She laid back as Chad kept at it. A nap wouldn’t hurt—

Knock knock knock

The person behind the door didn’t wait for a response and walked right in.

“Violet we need to talk.”

“Oh Dandy, me and Chad are already-“

“Done.” Chad left like a wolf was chasing him out.

“Violet,” Dandy aborted a motion to rake threw his hair and sat down instead, “Violet we will be getting a visitor soon, around three or so. That boy is coming over to apologize to you.”

“Oh that’s nice of him.” Oh shit.

“I need you to promise me you’ll be careful if father pushes you two to be friends.”

“Yes yes I know to be careful! No magic no slip ups I-“

A look filtered threw her brothers face, “That’s not what I mean.” Dandy reached over.

Dandy held her hand. They had held hands before, Violet loved holding hands with Dandy and dad. It made her feel safe and warm sure but more than anything it gave her something Violet craved the way other demons craved blood. Hold their hands made Konstelacio feel wanted.

But this… this was different, there was a look in Dandy’s eyes she’d never seen before.

“You know not to trust humans, Violet. You know how awful they all are.”

Violet swallowed, she knew.

“I need you to be careful don’t let your guard down for a moment.”

“But Dandy—“

His grip on her hand hardened, “Promise me Violet. Promise me you won’t trust any human with your heart. They don’t deserve you.”

Violet scooted closer to him, now that statement didn’t make any sense. Her heart?

“… is,” her voice was quite, “Is this about dad and Mr Wayne?”

“Promise me.”

“Dandy—“

“Please. I don’t want to see you get hurt again. Any of you. I don’t think I could take it.”

Oh Dandy was crying. She’d never seen her biggest big brother cry before…

“Okay I promise.”

They hugged like it was the first time all over again. Like someone was going to reach out and snatch her out of his arms.

—- —- —-

Violet stayed in bed with her one remaining knee up. She didn’t know what to think anymore. Humans are bad sure but not all of them.

The humans in Fawcett were kind. And she had meet Jack when he was still a human. A lot of magical creatures started off as humans and and … and Mr Wayne was nice.

He sent her flowers when she was sick. And talked to her sweetly whenever she picked up the phone. He made daddy happy. Why can’t Dandy see that?

She levitated her prosthetics, one at a time, on to the bed. Their flight was wobbly, they were the heaviest thing she could carry.

Putting her legs back on she felt a pull. A tug.

She spared a look at the clock, 1:33pm.

Tug tug tug - she had enough time.

She stood up, “Alright then back to work.”

A second layer and she was gone.

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2 years ago

Im not saying (redeemed) Vlad does this … I’m just saying it would be hilarious 😆😆😆

Especially if team phantom (probably Jazz in a bout of unethical Psycology) is the one to switch the rock (fake core maybe?) with an actual kid/baby!!! XD

The team watching Vlad mature as a person and treat the kid like his own and finally calming the fuck down now that his obsession isn’t yelling at him 24/7.

Sam: I’m gonna tell him

Jazz: don’t you dare


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1 year ago

I totally didn’t see the invisibility thing coming!

I thought it was gonna be him throwing himself off the balcony and then turning invisible cuz like just imagine the heart attack that would give everyone XD

@mariastorm

Danny became the head assistant to one Timothy Drake-Wayne after nearly 20 years of being retired from the hero gig. In Danny's opinion,no 16 year old should be managing a multi - million dollar company as a pass time instead the fricking grown adult who owned said company... *cough,cough .....Bruce Wayne.

But then again,what did he know, alot.....he knew alot about Tim and his family of furries...the undead souls of Gotham tended to tell you things if you gave them the chance, he was just some guy in his thirties who had just moved to Gotham just a year ago. He couldn't just walk up to them and offer a free therapy session with his sister to fix the general mess that was the Wayne family unless he wanted the 'batclan' to start paying attention to him and later creeping him out with their stalking. So he chose a more subtle approach ; slowly integrate into their lives and fix their disaster of a family one appointment at a time.

He started off great. Tim began to open up to him in the office as the days went by. They talked in-between work schedules and meetings. He learnt about Tim's likes and dreams,lent an ear when he needed to vent about stuff involving home or school. In a way , Danny had realised somewhere in between that he was slowly mentally adopting Tim as his kid . He ended doing the same thing with the other Wayne children when he met them. Apparently,Tim spoke about him to the others when he was home and they had all gotten curious. Heck he had even met Alfred and they got on like a house on fire . Now he sometimes joins the old man to shop for groceries every other weekend. He had met Bruce as well and let's just say their first meeting involved Danny scolding the hell out of the man for allowing a literal child to manage his company when said child should have been doing child things as well as all the other things and the others had told him Bruce had done. Alfred had patted him on the back after he had finished his speech while the kids had been laughing at their father's expense.

Bruce had surprisingly taken it like a man considering the fact that he was being told off on how to 'parent' by a twink who was his son's assistant and therefore his employee. Danny had expected to be jobless after that fiasco but instead he was invited to dinner that very same week by Bruce himself. Albeit Bruce refused to make eye contact and seemed to have been having a fever as his face and ears were bright red but Danny didn't mind,free food was free food.... Even if he still wonderd why he had spotted Dick and Stephanie spying on them from the hallway with knowing looks on their faces......

Danny didn't even know how but suddenly he was fully involved in their lives; night time hobbies included after they dramatically told him to which Danny had simply responded with an "ya don't say?"and proceeded to go back to drinking his tea with Alfred . Things in the bat-brood were healing nicely;they were talking, bonding and generally starting to look like a true family. A true family with Danny in it. And Danny himself didn't realize this until one fluke .....no.... Two flukes occurred on the night of the biggest gala Danny had ever attended in his halfa life {galas he attended at Sam's mansion included} .

The first fluke ,he had been both happy and embarrassed about.....

Not one or two or three BUT four of the Wayne children had addressed him as 'Dad' . That too in front of a large group of guests and reporters with cameras and recorders . Damien had gone as far as to specify that ,yes they were referring to him and not Bruce..

And the second fluke....

Well, Danny wasn't sure how to feel about that one............

... Bruce Wayne,the bachelor billionaire,the man Danny had come to have a huge slight man crush on,...........

.

.

.

Kissed Danny. Right on the lips. On the balcony.

And Danny being a complete idiot had hiccuped then used his invisibility to hide and later run all while forgetting one tiny thing..

He hadn't told the batclan about his secret yet..and honestly??

Danny blames Clockwork.


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1 year ago

Well if you insist!

Do it do it do it!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna read it!!!!!!!!!!!

Whatever you write will be consumed with fondness! So hurry up and write it already!!!!!!!

DP x DC Prompt #1

Danny's halfa status gets discovered by his parents and they go full trigger-happy on him. He barely manages to escape, but he is severly wounded still. He's sixteen.

Dani (or Elle or however you wanna call her) finds him by chance (oh nononono Clockwork had nothing to do with this, wink wink) and yoinks him up to bring him somewhere safe. She's a little distracted, so she doesn't notice when she runs -or, well, flies- into a house. Literally. (nop definitely not Clocky's fault)

John Constantine nearly has a heart attack when two fucking ectoplasmic ghosts, the most solid, most radioactive, strongest, most destructive fucking ghosts crash through his window and land right in front of him. For some reason, the House of Mistery hasn't even cursed them despite being uninvited. He's like "welp, guess I'll die, but I ain't going down without a fight" until Dani starts crying and begging for him to help her brother. Then he's panicking because holy fuck these are kids, there's a bleeding dead child in his house.

Then Dani de-transforms and Danny's trandformation breaks as he falls unconcious and holy fuck now there's two very alive kids who used to be dead like, a minute ago and fucking shit that's a lot of blood.

So Constantine patches Danny up and Dani tells them they've got nowhere to go. She's a clone with noo family except for Danny and, well, his parents are the ones that almost make him go from half-dead to fully dead. On a whim, John decides fuck it and lets them stay at his house however long they need to. The House of Mistery is really fucking big after all nd it's already full of monsters and shit, what's two more ghosts to haunt it?

So they spend time together. Shennanigans ensue and a pranking war or two happen at some point. Those fuckers cause him so much trouble he's sure if he hadn't tricked his way into inmortaality he would be getting gray hairs.

Then, at some point, the ghost siblings do something that's incredibly fucking stupid like open up a book of spells constantine hadn't taught them yet and going ballistic through the house, chasing monsters and playing with literal fire. He fixes whatever nonsense situation they'd gotten themselves in (since when was he the one to fix other people's problems?) and scolds them for being dumb and irresponsible when he hits that oh in italics moment and realizes oh shit, I'm a father now.

He scoops them both up in an embrace and tells them thay could have gotten hurt and they both go oh shit, we have a father now.

Basically their dinamic doesn't change, except Dani and Danny call him dad sometimes. They talk about life and death and dying when he finds out they don't have a grave, not even a cenotaph!

The Phantom duo hadn't really thought it was that important. Sure, they were half-dead, but not all the way, why would they need a grave? They didn't even have a body to bury!

But their dad, with his magic, makes them each a gravestone anyway. He puts their names in it, on Danny's he puts his date of birth and death when he was 14, and on Dani's he puts the day she was created and the day she fell through his window.

"Why that day?" she asks. "I was already dead then."

"You were born dead. The dates on a grave are to mark a person's journey and tell their tale. I put the day yoour journey started, and the day it enden, when you came here to rest."

And that was that. He put their graves on the house's prettiest spot on the garden. He placed flowers and lit up candles on them. He put protections on them so nothing would be able to harm them.

Danny and Dani felt lighter, as if a weight they didn't know they carried suddently lifted. Their bodies filled with warmth and love everytime their dad left flowers on their cenotaphs or they left them for each other. They were thankfull for them now.

Meanwhile, the JL and the JL Dark were both getting worried. Sure, Constantine was always sectretive and distant, but this was already excessive. He barely picked any calls, and when he did he barely talked and sounded incredibly tired (Dani and Danny's fault). When they had a meeting, he looked like death warmed over. Tired, disheveled and depressed (damn he missed the little shits, he couldn't wait until the meeting was over to get back home) and he always got a longing look every time he saw one of them with their protegés (he really misses his kids, damn he's got it bad for them). This has been going on for a few months and he's only getting worse.

So they ask to go visit him. Y'know, to go check on him. Just to see if he was okay. Constantine's annoyed but his kids convince him to let his friends visit him. They don't want to be seen by them (they're kinda scared of strangers) but they think their dad should hang out with his co-workers. It's not healthy to be cooped up in the house, even they get visits from Sam and Tucker!

So the JLD came to the House of Mistery. They were just catching up a bit when some magic fuckery happens and somehow they end up on the gardens outside the house (which is really just some grass and wildflowers John calls a garden). Constantine tells them to stay there untill he comes back from fixing whatever the fuck that was.

Of course, they don't stand still. They go fuck arround the "garden" while they wait for him to get back, and they come across two tombstones. Their blood runs cold when they read the names.

Daniel and Danielle Constantine.

Daniel had been dead for two years, but he was only fourteen. Danielle had been born a month or two after Daniel had, so whoever their mother was had been already pregnant when Daniel died. The girl, just two years old, had died very recently. She died just when Constantine had started to act strange.

Their friend was grieving his kids. Fuck, they didn't even know John was a father! Where was the mother? Was he married? Why didn't he tell them? Was the mother dead? Why wasn't she burried there, then? Had she left? Was their friend grieving alone?

They got back to where their companion told them to wait in. Now they understood why he didn't want them snooping arround. They decided to help their friend however they could.

Misunderstandings happen.


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1 year ago

I’ve been summoned!!!

Lol I don’t even remember what I was looking for but I love this!!! Thanks for the @ !!!! Time for me to look at all my old posts lol

Submitted Prompts #44

The JLD + Batfam are trying to summon the new King of the Dead for whatever reason, but are having a bit of trouble figuring out one of the key components which is loosely translated as ‘blood of a half-dead’.

Jason decides to throw in his own blood as a joke, only for it to actually work, and the aforementioned King appears from the ensuing column of Lazarus-green fire in all his Dracula-esque glory.

When the JLD ask him for whatever they summoned him for, he asks for Jason in return, naturally they’re all like “Hell naw!” except for Damian, who’s more like “Sounds like a fair trade to me.” to which the King’s like “SOLD! To the young boy with too much hair gel! No refunds!” and portals Jason to the Realm of the Dead, where he is greeted by a very exasperated teenager who sardonically welcomes him to the ‘Forcefully Adopted by the Most Powerful Fruitloop in the Infinite Realms’ Club.

3 years ago

Writing Prompt

Imagine elves don’t know what sunburns are?

Bard, red itchy and peeling skin off: Ow!

Thranduil: Wtf Bard? A-a-are you molting?!!!

Bard: What no?? I just have a sunburn.

Thranduil: The sun... burns you....

Thranduil remembering elves are essentially stars and that he’s touched Bard before: oh no


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1 year ago

I love Frostbite but Vlad and his cloning is right there XD especially cuz he owes Danny big time

Vlad: I’m not going to make your new brother a spleen

Danny: oh wow that’s disappointing almost as disappointing as (insert awful thing vlad did)

Vlad: …. Fine

He could overlook a lot of things, but this was getting ridiculous. You’d think seasoned vigilantes would have better excuses prepared, but Danny had caught that flash of panic that crossed Tim’s face as Danny came face to face with Tim dragging an unconscious Steph to her designated room in the manor.

“Uh.”

“Danny! Uh, Stephanie brained herself- uh, sliding down the bannisters and- pleasedon’ttellBruce.”

Danny blinks, staring at Tim and then very pointedly, very slowly, turned his head back towards the direction he came from: the main hall… where the bannisters were. He wonders what vigilante hijinks they were trying to hide from B this time.

Tim coughs, trying to inch Stephanie away. “Uh. She was doing… cartwheels?”

Danny let his eyes slowly take in the bruises that were clearly not from “cartwheeling in the mansion” on the both of them. There’s a huge bandaged cut on Steph’s forearm and a giant bruise on the edge of Tim’s jaw. Tim’s face twitches nervously, not that anyone else would have noticed- except Danny has enhanced ghost senses and could feel the panic coming off of his adopted brother.

“You know…” Shit, what does he do? Not knowing would be so much easier if these idiots gave him good excuses! “I don’t think I want to know what you two have been up to… but should I be worried for your, uh, physical health?”

“Nope!”

“… Okay.” He says. Tim opens his mouth to make further excuses but Danny adds quickly, “But don’t tell me, because if Bruce asks, I want plausible deniability.”

Cartwheels, Danny’s ghostly ass. Luckily, this show of doubt reaffirms Tim’s belief that Danny believes them all of the other times. Danny grins inwardly, planning capitalizing on the guilt that flashed over Tim’s face.

“Deal.”

“Want help?” The halfa points at Steph, who’s still being dragged over the carpet by a noodle armed Tim. Danny knows Tim’s strong, he’s a vigilante, but it’s funny watching him pretend to struggle.

“Please. I’m so tired right now.” He looks it too. Danny’s brows furrow with genuine concern when he takes in Tim’s drowned raccoon look. He picks up Steph, firmly removing her from Tim’s suddenly weak grip. Being careful to avoid her injuries, Danny nods at the door to her room. Tim cracks it open and does a little showy gesture towards the inside.

“C’mon, we’ll tuck her in and then I’ll tuck you in.”

“What, you don’t have to do that.”

“If you don’t let me tuck you in and make sure you sleep, I’ll tell Alfred who really accidentally poured boiling hot coffee on his azaleas last week. And I’ll sic Dick on you and tell him you haven’t been sleeping enough.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Tim grumbles. “But fine. It’s really not my fault I’m this tired. A missing spleen is hard to handle, you know.”

“Yeah, missing an organ sucks,” Danny says, shit eating grin hidden long enough to catch the contemplative bloodhound look that passes over Tim’s face.

“Which- uh, which one of your organs is missing?”

“Liver.” Danny says, remembering the flashes of pain. He tilts his head away to hide the grin at Tim’s panicked face.

When he tucks Tim in, he pretends to believe Tim’s sleeping act and left his room while mumbling about the Wayne’s clumsiness and bruises and stocking up on bruise cream. He couldn’t even enjoy Tim’s floundering, this time, worried as he is.

——

“Brother.” Danny half turns his head, just to beam a sunny smile at Cass. He signs an exuberant hello. The halfa hangs up his coat as he addresses his adopted sister.

“Cass! What’s up?”

“Dinner.” She smiles back, signing that Alfred wanted them to the dinning room post haste. The main dining room, because rich people were fruit loops and Batman is totally included. Cassandra looks down and gasps.

What…?

Oh. Fuck. Danny glances down. He genuinely forgot about that.

“Huh.”

“Okay?” Suddenly, Cass is right next to him, hand reached out and hovering over the actual knife Danny forgot was sticking out of him. At least it’s where his liver should be, so he won’t have to pretend.

“Oh. Yeah, I’m good. Don’t have a liver.” Danny decides on the spot that he’s not gonna mess with Cass. She smiled the same as him. “Got mugged on the way back but I think they said I could keep the knife, right?”

“Danny.” She’s frowning at him. He feels like he just kicked tiny Cujo. But he doesn’t feel bad enough to blurt everything out.

“Here. You can have it if you want?” Danny casually pulls out the knife and holds the wound together with his bare hands. Cass looks more alarmed. She bodily picks up Danny and starts running.

“Woah!”

Cass throws him at Alfred, gently.

“Miss Cassandra! Why, I never-!” Alfred pauses in surprise.

“Uh. Wow, Cass. You’re really strong.” Danny pipes up, hand still over his gushing wound.

She ignores him, pointing at Danny and telling Alfred, “Hurt. Got mugged. Dumb.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault Gothamites are ready to jump people at any moment. Besides, it’s daytime. It’s not like the vigilante furries are out to save my butt. I think I did really well coming back safe, you know?”

“Hurt. Forgot the knife. Was in him.”

“Master Danny!”

Danny pouts. He also knows there’s a discreet camera in the corners of the sitting room, so he’s definitely hoping he could phase into the cave when Barbara eventually tells the group that he called them “vigilante furries.”

Alfred clucks his tongue and set to work patching him up. Danny tries not to bask in the careful way Alfred tended to his wounds. It reminds him too much of Jazz, if Jazz was British and a man with greying hair.

But because they were watching him and he was watching them in return, Danny noticed the moment Alfred’s hands stalled and Cass’ gaze got intense. What now…?

Oh, fuck, his vivisection scar. Oops. Danny smiled, channeling Dani (his lovely clone sister) at her most innocent.

Cass smiled back, just as sunnily, fists tightening at her side in repressed fury.

——

“Cass? Why’d you call us?”

“Yeah, baby bat. I got a couple o’ smugglers to talk to.”

Cass paces.

“What is it, Cassandra?” Damian tuts impatiently.

“Danny. Has… scars. Autopsy. But was struggling. When cut.”

“What.”

“A vivisection, Master Jason.” Alfred’s voice was crisp and eerily cold. His hands are folded, rage only held back by his sheer will and a well practiced sense of propriety.

“We find. Who hurt him,” Cass snarls. “We. End.”

Jason’s eyes glint green, hands going to his guns. “Fine. By. Me.”

“It does tie in with the dead comment. I wonder what happened to him.” Tim clacks away at the bat computer, furiously looking into the matter already. Bruce has taken to prowling, stressed out at the prospect of one more of his children- not a vigilante at that- getting hurt the way Jason had. Worse, even. A vivisection. He was alive, dissected. Aware enough to struggle. Dick looked like he was torn about hunting down and lunging at whoever hurt Danny to rip their throats out with his bare teeth versus the urge to go back up to the manor and wrap Danny in bubble wrap.

In the corner, Danny was having a quiet breakdown because he came here to watch them react to vigilante furries, not offering to murder the people who vivisection him. What the fuck?? He ran his hands through his hair, invisible.

——

“Oh, by the way, we should consider more daytime shifts.”

“Why?” Spoiler asks Barbara.

“Danny got mugged. And called us the nightly furries.”

“The fuckin’ what-?” Jason chokes out, laughing. Bruce stops his pacing, body language becoming slightly offended.

Danny muffles a laugh only Alfred would have heard.


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2 years ago

I feel like I will add Booster Gold to the family … maybe … just because I know it’ll fuck with the JL heads.

Ghost Helpline

Like just-

Everyone running around trying to figure this shit out fucking freaking out about everything.

Booster takes one look at this “threat” Konstelacio: oh Konny!!! I wonder what she’s been up to lately hopefully not pulling anymore jobs for CW anymore last time I heard she was sentenced to community service or something

….

Booster what the fuck?????


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elvesandlanterns - Miscellaneous
Miscellaneous

Writing Prompts, family discussions, random bits of my life, short stories and dog pics!!!

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