I Might Have Entered A Murder Pact With A 14-year Girl Old Last Night To Kill Her 12-year Old Sister,

You'd think after so many years of people inside and outside of the force trying to fix things, that the Gotham City PD would be a little less corrupt.

But no, the biggest domestic terrorist in town stays alive because he's also the whitest domestic terrorist in town.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Youngest rests his head against gvTobi's shoulder, listening to his older self taking three fingers and just...floating in the contented quiet of his mind, luxuriating in the warmth of other bodies and the kindness in their voices. His arousal hardly even matters in comparison to the simple joy at the way he is called 'sweetheart' without a hint of mockery.

Sugar trembles in ecstasy as the Eldest slowly, carefully fucks his mouth with his fingers, unmindful of the saliva he can't swallow down. Heavy-lidded eyes are fixed on the other him's face, absolutely intent on his words and desperately wanting to satisfy his every desire.

-

SugarMadara's breath hitches as his delightful younger self takes him in further with a hum of appreciation. He jerks his hips slightly into that mouth, keeps his head pressed steady for a long moment, just until the other man start to choke, before relaxing his hold and rocking back.

He continues talking to the eldest Madara as if nothing amiss had happened.

"Hn...You want a good time, old man? I'm sure we can come up with something. As soon as this one finishes me off, I'm gonna turn around and get to my knees, show you my own skills while he jerks himself off over my back. How's that sound~?"

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi really enjoys how well-behaived and trained the older SugarTobi is. He rewards him with water. Good boy.]

[gvMadara is a grouchy old man who can't decide whether he loves or hates the Tobi-pile. Says something about SugarMadara needing to wash his hair.]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

SugarTobi blinks lazily, pouting slightly as his mouth is left feeling strangely empty, and tilts his head to drink from the Eldest's hand. He kisses his palm when he is done, rests his scarred cheek docilely in the cupped fingers, open and vulnerable and simply waiting.

-

SugarMadara tilts his head back and smiles wickedly against the other man's throat. He wants to talk filthily about how wonderfully sore and pliant his lover will be after this, how wonderful their bathing together tends to be, but he knows better than to poke at that particular jealous beast. "Depravity is getting me some truly magnificent head right now, so I will take that as a compliment."

He is getting close to his end, as well. He tugs on the youngest's hair. "Get ready, you've done so well...we're almost done with that talented mouth of yours..."

I just watched a few episodes of Tasting History with my Dad. One of them was about breakfast in Jane Austin's time and all the cultural information surrounding that day and age was super interesting!

So now I'd like everyone to imagine Bernard having a "Cooking from the Books!" Viewtube channel with Jason (potentially still dressed as the Red Hood depending on how silly you are). Bernard will cheerfully be explaining what recipe he's going to make, what ingredients he's going to use and substitute, all that good stuff. Jason/Hood is going to be next to him, vibrating with Special Interest Excitement, ready to slam a pile of research books and looseleaf paper onto the counter so he can back up his historic and bat-level research binge.

Bonus points if this is somehow post Duffle Bag and pre Identity Reveal.

Bernard moved in with Tim? Guess you could say they murder shacked up

My problem is that I have the heart of a Robin with the body of a Penguin.

The world isn't ready for another Danny Devito I gotta try to make things better for my next round

With WFA sister-coding Steph and Cass, I started thinking about how to get some silver linings out of the decision. So, here are some potential plots or story elements that could be fun/saucy/interesting to play with.

1.) Steph comes out as asexual. Between having a baby and dating Tim, Steph realizes that she's been pursuing physical relationships because of social expectations. She's a spunky, outgoing blonde tough girl; people just assume. She just assumed.

This leads to so many jokes. So many.

"Yeah, Tim and I dated and we had a good time, but in the end I turned him off girls and he turned me off entirely"

"I flatlined briefly and it restored me to factory settings"

Idk Steph would have more quips. She'd have all the quips.

2) Cass is secretly the true Wayne Womanizer. She's not here for a long time, she's here for a good time, and as long as everyone understands that she will play the field. The only reason no one knows that she's debauched every willing heiress in Gotham is because she's too good to get caught and no one would believe it.

Cassandra Wayne is a Legend among closeted debutantes and socialites whose parents have "arrangements" made in regards to marriages. She's the muse of so much modern sapphic poetry, the kind that only hints at her identity. She is the favorite friend to every ambassador's interested daughter. Forget the headlines about Brucie Wayne spending the night with a Russian ballet troupe, Cass will tour with them and no one will even guess what's really going on.

Fandom treats her like a sexless child figure or defaults her to Steph's side. I say let her sneak into the manor at 3am with her shoes off, whispering about entering her slut era.

3) If Steph and Cass are not dating each other, they could each be dating a new or underused character and we could have another Bernard-style steal-your-ship. We might be on the cusp of discovering a really fun pairing or character!

4) Cass and Prudence Wood have an assassin-angsty hate-sex relationship. This one's just for me because it makes me giggle. People meme about Tim and Cass looking alike, Pru called Tim hot once, Pru is now a double??? Triple???? Quadruple??? Agent between Ra's and Tim.

There is just something cute about imagining terrifying quiet Cass stalking after the loudmouth Pru's British cussing. No killing! Because Cass is here to ruin your fun and watch you sleep!

Is there any way to say “I have a raging Internet crush on your fanfics” without it being weird?

Asking for a friend.

Edit: And how many people would a person be allowed to say this to before being legally known as a 'FicHo'?

Still asking for a friend.

I remember seeing a post a while ago which message was basically that you should force yourself to like female characters even when they're written to be mid or even just poorly because it's part of unlearning sexism or something, like you need to "learn to like them", and man, I really don't like this stance at all, because what it basically says is that you should lower your standards when it comes to female characters. But there are absolutely amazingly written female characters that you don't need to "force" yourself to like because you just do naturally, because they're just written right, and it doesn't require "work" and "convincing yourself to care" or anything like that. It is absolutely possible to write them, and I'm justified in wanting more of them instead of "forcing myself to like" poorly written characters whose authors couldn't even force themselves to care about them on the first place. It feels backwards to me that many people expect otherwise and call it misogyny when viewer isn't willing to do the writer's work in places where writer didn't do theirs. I do appreciate it and think it's really cool when people take poorly written characters and remake/expand on them within a narrative to be actually interesting and multidimensional, it is really cool that people do that, but also you can't expect that every person who interacts with original media will do the same kind of mental gymnastics and additional work and accuse them of terrible misogyny when they're interpreting the characters the way they were presented to them in original material as is.

So, when Jason was living his Red Hood life and stalking Tim to an intense degree, I want to imagine him running into a little problem. He finds something that Tim has been keeping secret from the other Bats.

Tim livestreams his W&W campaigns with his civilian friends.

It's mostly done for Ives when he's at the hospital; the steam is easier for his friend to watch and communicate his turns while he's sick. Tim plays both his and Ives' characters at once.

And the thing is...

Jason fucking loves a story.

And after so long watching the streams for stalking purposes, he's reluctantly invested in this one.

He'll definitely beat the shit out of the new Robin soon! It's part of his plan! He needs to prove he's better than this little twerp.

But first he needs to know how the romantic subplot between Tim's orc Artificer and that blond kid's half-elf Paladin is going to turn out.

Red Hood has 100% heard Tim and Bernard being freaky and broken into their place thinking that an assault was in progress.

Shots were definitely fired.