I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER I WAS ABOUT TO CRY!

ScatterPatter incorrect quotes generator

Sirius: What time is it?

Remus: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Remus: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Severus: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Remus: It’s 2 am

*******************************

Remus: Severus, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Severus: Well of course I have.

Severus: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Severus: It's boring.

******************************

Remus: What is your biggest weakness?

Severus: I can be uncooperative.

Remus: Okay, can you give me an example?

Severus: No.

*****************************

Severus, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!

James: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

****************************

Remus: WHY. why did you give Sirius a KNIFE?!

Severus: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.

Remus: Now I feel unsafe!

Severus: I’m sorry.

Severus: ... would you like a knife?

***************************

Sirius: Hey, Remus? Can I get some dating advice?

Remus: Just because I’m with Severus doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

**************************

Severus: sirius and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Remus: *Sighing* What did Sirius do?

Severus: he chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Sirius: Who wants a steering wheel?

*************************

Severus, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Remus, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids

Sirius: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Severus: playing systemic oppression

************************

Severus: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Remus: You were flirting with Sirius.

Severus: So what? He's my boyfriend.

Remus: You asked him if he was single.

Severus:

Remus: And then you cried when he said he wasn't.

***********************

*Severus is cooking*

Remus: Any chance that’s for me?

Severus: It’s for James. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.

Sirius: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

**********************

James: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Remus: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Sirius?

Sirius: Probably “road work ahead”.

Severus: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

*********************

Severus: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Remus: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.

Sirius: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

James: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

********************

Severus: Why is Remus so sad?

Sirius: he took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Severus: And...?

Sirius: he got James.

*******************

Severus: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Severus: *punches wall*

Severus:

Severus: Take me to the hospital.

******************

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Severus*

Severus: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

*****************

Severus, threatening the others with a paintball gun: Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!

****************

Severus: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

***************

Severus, about Remus: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Sirius: Are we stealing them?

James: New or used?

Severus: Wonderful responses, both of you.

**************

Severus: *Screams*

Remus: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Sirius: Should we do something?

James: No, I want to see who wins.

*************

Severus, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Remus, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Sirius, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

James, trembling: What are we playing

************

Severus: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Remus: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Sirius: I got distracted about halfway through.

James: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

***********

Severus: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Remus: Is it me, Severus?

Severus: No, it’s not you.

Sirius: Is it me, Severus?

Severus: It’s not you either.

James: Is it me, Severus?

Severus:

Severus, mockingly: Is IT mE Severus?

**********

Sirius: Why are Severus and Remus sitting with their backs to each other?

James: They had a fight.

Sirius: Then why are they holding hands?

James: They get sad when they fight.

*********

Severus: Dammit, Remus!

Remus: What?! It wasn’t me!

Severus: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Sirius!

Sirius: Not me either.

Severus: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

James: *whistles*

********

James, banging on the door: Severus! Open up!

Severus: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Sirius: No, he meant-

Remus: Let him finish.

*******

James: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Remus: I don’t know how to do that.

Sirius: I don’t wear a watch.

Severus: Time is a construct.

******

Severus: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Remus: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Severus: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING SIRIUS WITH ME

James, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

*****

Severus: Remus, I'm sad.

Remus: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.

Sirius: James, I'm sad.

James, nodding: mood.

****

Severus: Listen, I can explain...

Remus: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?

Sirius: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!

James: You guys are getting paid?

***

Severus: I just ended a four year relationship.

Remus: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?

Severus: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.

*Sirius and James fighting from across the room*

**

Sirius: Truth or dare?

Remus: Dare

Sirius: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Remus: Hey James

James, blushing: Yeah?

Remus: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Severus

*

Sirius: Yo is James sleeping or dead?

Severus: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.

Remus: Yeah, so did I.

James: Okay first of all, fuck you-

If you've ever wondered why people in Hawai'i hate tourists, try to wrap your mind around the fact that there are CURRENTLY, RIGHT NOW, tourists sipping martinis and looking at fish within swimming range of the fresh corpses of local people who couldn't escape the overnight destruction of their entire town.

Try to comprehend that there are fully functional, high capacity boats passing through the waters in front of an area full of survivors who are stranded and in need of supplies, refusing to help. They are hosting snorkeling tours.

Really think about, try your best to actually picture over two thousand people unhoused and in need of shelter, with nothing but the clothes on their backs and nothing to return to. Understand that the island, stolen land, is littered with hotels full of air conditioned of rooms with beds and showers and toilets, each fully equipped to host hundreds of families for weeks, turning these people away because they're booked up with tourists who refuse to leave.

And understand that these tourists were offered free transport to return home or be hosted on other islands. Free. Courtesy of local tax dollars. 4,000 wealthy tourists were offered free flights shelter on Oahu and begged to leave the island, BEFORE the survivors were given shelter.

And enough still insisted on remaining and carrying out their vacations that people are left without shelter and resources while they enjoy "their stay in paradise".

[Edit]: This current situation, and this type of tourist behavior is horrifying beyond words. In other circumstances, the tourism situation is much more complicated, and I need to ask that people do not add on to this post unless they are local.

TW!! DEATH + Negligent Officers

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Bellatrix, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."

Bellatrix: THERE. Now send it.

Severus:: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to-

Bellatrix: JUST DO IT!

later

Remus: So what does it say?

James, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."

Remus:

James:

Remus: Gross-

* this one ⤵ Generated first and I also find it funny*

Bellatrix, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."

Bellatrix: THERE. Now send it.

Lucius: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to-

Bellatrix: JUST DO IT!

later

Regulus: So what does it say?

Severus, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."

Regulus:

Severus:

Regulus: Gross-

He knows!

They're so cute! ❤❤❤

I can't wait till they finally get together!!!

THEY UPDATED AGAIN!! 💞💞💞💞

WARNING:SPOILER AHEAD

Lily, about Bellatrix: I like her, she has that, what do you call it?

Regulus: Cold blooded ruthlessness?

Lily: No, that’s not it.

Lily: Ah, a knife, she has a knife.

Thank you to everyone who has been giving me advice, I really appreciate it!!

!! ART NOT MINE!!

I am a baby witch I have been a witch for a while but I couldn't practice because I thought my mom would be mad or something but turns out she likes witchcraft too and wants to study as well. Also i love these pics so here! If you are a witch could you give me some advice?

Lily: Why are you smiling?

Severus: What? I can’t just be happy?

James: Sirius tripped and fell in the parking lot.