Every Winter An Absent Joy Pains You And You Walk Under The Rain One In Two: You And The Person You Were

Preparations for the Coriolanus live broadcast - I can relate to this on a psychological level.

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In the period between the attack on the World Trade Center towers and the American response, a reporter from the Los Angeles Times called to ask me if the events of the past weeks meant 'the end of relativism.' (I had an immediate vision of a headline - RELATIVISM ENDS: MILLIONS CHEER - and a photograph with the caption, 'At last, I can say what I believe and mean it.')

Stanley Fish

I’m not so worried about the dangers of mental junk food. No, my worry is that you won’t put enough really excellent stuff into your brain. I’m talking about what you might call the “theory of maximum taste.” This theory is based on the idea that exposure to genius has the power to expand your consciousness. The theory of maximum taste says that each person’s mind is defined by its upper limit—the best that it habitually consumes and is capable of consuming. ... Our maximum taste shrinks. Have you ever noticed that 70 percent of the people you know are more boring at 30 than they were at 20? I’m worried about the future of your maximum taste. People in my and earlier generations, at least those lucky enough to get a college education, got some exposure to the classics, which lit a fire that gets rekindled every time we sit down to read something really excellent. I worry that it’s possible to grow up now not even aware that those upper registers of human feeling and thought exist.

David Brooks

Vanessa Stockard

"Another Day, Another Chair"

Mul ei ole olnud mingisuguseid eesmärke, sest ma ei näe eesmärke. Minu silmade ees on tundmatu maastik, minu tee kulgeb sellesse maastikku või ta suubub sellesse või läheb edasi. Ma ei näe selle maastiku üksikasju. Ma ei näe, mis on mägede taga, mis on teekäänakute taga, mis on teispool orgusid, teispool metsi, aga ma pean teadma suunda. Ja see suund on minus endas olemas. See suund on otsekui mingi heli, mingi toon, mida ma ei tohi kaotada. See on kõige tähtsam. See on peamine. Ja kõik muu tuleb. - Fred Jüssi 1935 - 2024

KAWAI Gyokudō（川合玉堂 Japanese, 1873-1957）

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Photo by tt+ on Flickr.

Marriage of decay and awakening.

look, it’s 01:32, and the notebooks in the pits of my drawers are not enough for the horror that is tropical disease biology studies…

I wonder, when you decide to voice your questions, when you send off your impressions, when you speak or write or type, out of the blue, to your unsuspecting peers, is it done with an obstinate hope that you will receive at the very least any kind of response? A measured reply, despite the overwhelming standard of there seeming to be so few who would not only appreciate the question, but would consider an answer at all. 

In a manner that is self-deprecating, I think, I have been hunting for forms of connection that are more opportune for people who would rather not engage in anything so "aggressive" if "cute" without first throwing their daily habits into disarray. For whom such randomly expressed vexations of admittedly pretentious proportions pose as minor amusements, surprising puzzles, forms of performance art, and above all, a craving for approval–the latter, undoubtedly, many of my hurriedly scribbled down remarks are, but more, I suppose, a form of reassurance to myself that it is fine if I cannot help myself. Rather that than a kind of validation that is supposed to instill in me, over and over again, my sense of self-identity and worth. That would be very silly, don't you think? But it is to be expected that more often than not we will seem silly regardless, and are loved despite of it, than seem as we want to be, and are loved because of it. So herein then, ought we not to give free reign to the expectations of others, and to our own, and tailor our contentment accordingly? 

From there has emerged, I reckon, the infamous, “Nevermind that,” for which I am chastised here and there alike. Yet it occurs to me that I do not dismiss so much myself, but what I see as the toil and burden for you to bear if I did not do so.

I have never thought of it like this before, or thought of any of it for the longest time, if only in passing sneer in relation to my own expectations of people. Suppose I have dismissed thinking about it entirely, but wouldn't that truly be considered as “settling”, after all?