Cats Are Already The Perfect Creatures, Simple As Can Be

I love being 5'2 and also owning a fully sized horse. He could fully stomp me into the ground if he wanted to, but that old man has no desires except food and wishing death upon the neighbor's cattle. I love him <333

I'm eating it

ok, I want you to imagine that I have placed a tiny little wizard in the palm of your hand. they are no more than a few inches tall.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your scroll on tumblr today, thank you

Fav colors?

I would personally go to war for the color yellow. Golden hour is the most divine time of day, marigolds are the best flowers, and yellow is simply the best. I take NO argument. My Stratocaster is yellow. My favorite sweater is yellow. Gold jewelry (offshoot of yellow) is my favorite to wear. If someone calls it a piss color again, there will be violence

Green is second place. Not a close second, but second place. It's a nice color-

AU in which Link was raised by Ganon & meets Zelda for the first time

I had fun designing emo chunibyo Link! Inspired by TOTK Ganondorf's clothes and gerudo voe outfit - Link here mainly fights with gloom sword (katana style) but it weakens him 💔

He can control gloom to a certain degree but he also... isn't immune to it so he's perpetually gloom damaged rip😂

I want him to lose his memories in a fight and get adopted by the champions, fall in love with Zelda, and defect!! Give me all the cliches!!

EDITED TO ADD:

Ganondorf is not very good in this AU!

He's a demon king in hiding, biding his time for conquest. He snatched up Link as a child & raised him to be a lonely henchman.

Ganon taught him everything Link knows (so he can be useful to Ganon) but Ganon definitely does not have Link's best interest in mind💔

Mr. Astley- Mr. Astley I'm certain your cover is wonderful-

Unfortunately, I am afraid of clicking anything with your name on it because the song might happen-

ALL HAIL!!!

Shresus (Shrimp Jesus) has brought me salvation

'ao3 needs a like and dislike button'

what you need, my algorithm-rotten minded friend, is a grip

But what if they're feeling horny

Just saw someone misspell “grind on your bulge” as “grind on your bugle” and got very scared for a minute. Please leave my bugle out of our sexual escapades. I need it to play Reveille or perhaps Taps

Reblog if you want anon messages of what you would be the patron saint of

I don't want Elon Musk to kill himself because that would get him some sympathy from liberals and "oh so you don't care about mentally ill people?" would become a common line. Ideally I'd like him to be assassinated Luigi-style, but again that runs the risk of him becoming a martyr. No, the best way for him to die is in a stupid accident of his own creation, which I'm frankly shocked hasn't happened yet. Y'know like Tesla malfunction, falls over the non-OSHA-certified guard rails in his own factory, SpaceX explosion, crushed to death trying to fuck one of his ugly robots, ect.