The Kid Is So Real For That

I'm bored, so I'm giving you a whole essay here:

So you're having your everyday life. You go to bed one evening, everything is normal. (Like so normal)(Bear with me im setting the scene). You wake up the next morning, tho and woah, there's a fricken genie glass thingy at the side of your bed! Isn't that insane dude! You open it, and Mr. genie guy comes out, except he's got different rules this time.

Your first wish must be for some sort of ability (supernatural or normal) for yourself. What do you wish for?

For the second wish, you must wish for 1 person/place/thing to be yours. What person/place/thing do you wish for?

And for your final wish, idk, just whatever you really want to wish for (with the normal rules: no wishing for more wishes, no necromancy, and no bewitching anyone to fall in love w/ you).

Ooooo- so fun, great scene setting. Let's see...

Wish number one: I want the ability to manipulate probability. "Oh, what are the odds I get my dream job? Let's make that 100%. Odds I get HRT immediately? 100%, it's gonna happen." If that's too overpowered, I'll go with the basic tranny answer of shapeshifting

Wish number two: Give me all of Elongated Muskrat's money. All of it. I could actually use it for a SHIT TON of good and still have plenty left over to support myself and the people I love for life. Let me do everything that coward won't-

Wish number three: I want a bag that fills with whatever snack I want when I am hungry. I am a very simple man and also the local garbage disposal (if you don't eat it, I will). I have a fast metabolism, so I feel really hungry a lot of the time. I would kill for infinite snacks.

This was actually really fun- good questions, all of them.

ZELDA WITH GLASSES IS SUCH AN ADORABLE CONCEPT???

Arcane 9/11 be like: "MR COUNCILOR, THEY HIT THE HEXAGON"

Sometimes, I think about horses.

That's it, that's the post, I just like horses

I'm bored, so y'all can send me asks (anonymous or not) and I will answer them honestly

Thank you, Instagram

Dang, you're tall compared to me- I am a short king at a mere 5'2

@gigglesum @ketchup-will-live-through-this @fall1ngawayfromm3 @mydogtypedthis and anyone else who wants to try-

@ mutuals rb this w how tall you are i wanna know

i’m 4’11

I think they should make that pre-storm smell into a drug and let me snort it. Or let me scatter it in the air around my neighbor's house and watch him go slowly insane as the sunny days smell like storms and also make him slightly high so he's wrong about the weather all the time

I don't want Elon Musk to kill himself because that would get him some sympathy from liberals and "oh so you don't care about mentally ill people?" would become a common line. Ideally I'd like him to be assassinated Luigi-style, but again that runs the risk of him becoming a martyr. No, the best way for him to die is in a stupid accident of his own creation, which I'm frankly shocked hasn't happened yet. Y'know like Tesla malfunction, falls over the non-OSHA-certified guard rails in his own factory, SpaceX explosion, crushed to death trying to fuck one of his ugly robots, ect.