Cingedash - Photosynthesis > Sleep

cingedash - Photosynthesis > Sleep

More Posts from Cingedash and Others

2 years ago

im sure hytale is going to be great but did they have to keep minecrafts art style? the only thing that looks good in minecrafts art style is… minecraft.

2 years ago

Whenever I see aro/ace discourses and whether they belong in LGBTQ+ spaces, my initial thought is always the same:

Who are you to decide?

What none tells you about being on aromantic and/or asexual spectrum is how isolating it is. You feel lonely. And it's constant. Lonliness because of identity isn't always overwhelming, but it's present somewhere deep down. You feel lonely not because of lack of sexual/romantic attraction but because of society and amatonormativity.

When I was in elementary school, all my friends had crushes. I never understood that because even if I liked someone, it was always in platonic way. They insisted I couldn't possibly not like anyone and I felt forced to fake a crush. In middle school people started dating each other and I comforted myself with "I'm too young for that, time will come". By the high school I already knew something was "wrong" with me, I wasn't like the others. People began having sex not because they were expected to do that but because they actually wanted to. That was such shock to me, I thought media was exaggerating with passion and attraction but apparently all those things happen irl too. Hence I realized I was "the weird one". I forced myself to have same experiences but it felt more like obligation to me than something I trully wanted. I felt dirty after being touched, it repulsed me. I felt like something is broken within me for not enjoying sex. I could never fall in love. People called me coldhearted, they thought something was wrong with me. Few therapist tried to "fix" me, even set me up on dates. I internalized all of that and began seeing myself as "not normal".

Now that I'm older and know there's nothing wrong with me or being aroace, I still can't shake years and years of "I'm not normal" I experienced. It still haunts me. I hear someone talking about their sexual experiences and part of me still feels "not normal" when seeing how "normal" people live. I feel lonely. Parents insist I must find a partner one day. They don't believe i don't experience romantic attraction towards other people. Outside of aspec communities online, I don't experience any support. When I step outside, I still feel like something is wrong with me. Intentionally or not, society still makes me feel like an outsider. It's because of amatonormativity that roots too deep.

There's nothing wrong with people being romantic or sexual, far from that - but vast majority of cishet folks out there expect me to act same as them. Mere thought of someone looking at me as sexual being makes me cringe. I never felt romantic attraction towards anyone. I don't want to be in a relationship - I'm different from the "rest". It's lonely. Felling of isolation became association to me as part of identity. I don't even form closer platonic bonds because inevitable question of my romantic/sex life would inevitably come. For the longest time I felt like I needed to censor that part of myself. I assimilate with surroundings and hope noone finds out my "little secret".

If we as society educated kids more about LGBTQ+ stuff, then maybe this chronic feeling of isolation in aspec communities would diminish in few generations. However what I can say is that from very early age I experienced romantic/sexual attraction very different from what is considered "standard" - and that is why I relate to LGBT experiences innumerous times more than I will to "standard' heterosexual heteroromantic ones.

So stranger on the internet, who are you to swept all my complicated feelings and experiences regarding sexuality under rug because they can't fit in your narrow definition of how romantic and sexual attraction should be.


Tags
2 years ago

"a joy to have in class" aka This Child Will Not Be Diagnosed for at least Eight Years

2 years ago

My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."

and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"

2 years ago
This Happens To Me Every Day I Dont Know How To Make It Stop

this happens to me every day i dont know how to make it stop

2 years ago

“hallelujah” by leonard cohen being played as an easter and christmas song, “zombie” by the cranberries” being played as a halloween song, and “born in the U.S.A.” by bruce springsteen being played as a Fourth of July/generic us patriotism song have got to be a special trifecta of the most no-listening-comprehension musical moments that happen on seasonal playlists every single year 

2 years ago

reblog to remove 1 hair from joe bidens body

2 years ago

Why not watch Race to the Edge? We have:

Why Not Watch Race To The Edge? We Have:

The neurodivergent guy who's just so tired. Threw himself off a cliff once or twice. Likes dragons soooooo much and everyone just rolls with it. His entire life revolves around his hyperfixation (dragons) and it kind of bleeds into everyone elses life.

Why Not Watch Race To The Edge? We Have:

The neurodivergent guy's best friend cat. Does not like it when neurodivergent guy puts himself in dangerous situations and frequently sasses him for it. Is often seen batting around balls of paper for fun. Has killed an unfathomable amount of people and will kill again.

Why Not Watch Race To The Edge? We Have:

The token girlfriend who wasn't actually a token girlfriend in the show and had an actual personality and hobbies and insecurities and stuff. Has anger issues and will take it out on the twink at the slightest provocation. Probably more worthy of being chief than the chiefs own heir at this point in time. Secretly feminine. The superior version of this character and everyone loves her.

Why Not Watch Race To The Edge? We Have:

The twink. Used to be one of the jocks in high school and turned out to be the most flamboyant and feminine of the squad. Wrote a book once. Probably to impress the nerd like he's so gay for the nerd. Loves baby dragons like sooooo much he will cuddle them all day. A little sassypants who pouts and complains a lot. Is not good at following instructions. Will sacrifice life and limb for his friends and almost died for them several times.

Why Not Watch Race To The Edge? We Have:

The twink's self insert oc. He larps as a Coachella kid. Once fooled the smartest man in the world into thinking he was actually a Coachella kid. Deep in his heart he is just a misunderstood rich white boy.

Why Not Watch Race To The Edge? We Have:

The nerd. Reads books to the point where the universe decided every almost single one of his spotlight episodes would be a parody of a book. He made dragon trading cards once because he's a fucking nerd. Is probably a licensed doctor and if he's not then nobody's noticed yet. Is a total helicopter parent over his fucking dragon who spews lava and has a tail-bludgeon so who knows whats going on in his head.

Why Not Watch Race To The Edge? We Have:

The twink made a self insert OC for his boyfriend the nerd and then there were some hypnotism hijinks. I want to see God Complex and Coachella Kid interact so bad.

Why Not Watch Race To The Edge? We Have:

The resident drag queen. A scholar, philosopher and fashionista who would do a dramatic reading of Dante's Divine Comedy for fun. Has a pet chicken who he has a... questionable relationship with. Has a mace who he also has a... questionable relationship with. Doesn't know how to do math.

Why Not Watch Race To The Edge? We Have:

The resident pyromaniac. Has literally no fear and will actively dare people to kill her. Has not once been killed so it seems to be working. Will be captured and spend her entire time in captivity mercilessly bullying her captors. Could probably make Ryker Grimborn cry. Made Snotlout cry. Way smarter than she looks and is considered the smarter twin which is insane considering Tuffnut is a known genius.

Why Not Watch Race To The Edge? We Have:

The incredibly angsty Mary Sue. You either love her or hate her and I love her. Fits every single Mary Sue trope in existence to a T to the point where I feel like it was on purpose. Don't get me wrong though, she's a genuinely compelling character. Emo. I think that she should date Astrid.

2 years ago
Now This… This Is Beautiful

Now this… this is beautiful

Now This… This Is Beautiful

“The hyperloop will be the most efficient train in the worl—”

*judgemental stare*

  • starlight-eztli
    starlight-eztli liked this · 5 days ago
  • feathersea
    feathersea liked this · 1 week ago
  • iheartflutes
    iheartflutes liked this · 1 week ago
  • fantasylover4538
    fantasylover4538 liked this · 1 week ago
  • brbblog123
    brbblog123 liked this · 1 week ago
  • inle-lives-here
    inle-lives-here reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • inle-lives-here
    inle-lives-here liked this · 1 week ago
  • jackulwulf
    jackulwulf reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • iwillresthere
    iwillresthere reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • xspiderfanx
    xspiderfanx liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • phoenixwench
    phoenixwench reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • phoenixwench
    phoenixwench liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • ursweetheartless
    ursweetheartless reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • ursweetheartless
    ursweetheartless liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • otpcutie
    otpcutie reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • grubbyjimm
    grubbyjimm liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • maybedeadbutstillpretty
    maybedeadbutstillpretty reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • achronalart
    achronalart liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • usagitreasure
    usagitreasure liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • gofer68
    gofer68 liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • enchantinggamingmusicdonkey
    enchantinggamingmusicdonkey liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • urmomoclock888
    urmomoclock888 liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • glowing-starlight
    glowing-starlight reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • parasiticshroomie
    parasiticshroomie liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • oldmanontumbler
    oldmanontumbler liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • merridelicious
    merridelicious liked this · 4 weeks ago
  • lilyforce06
    lilyforce06 liked this · 1 month ago
  • certaindreamrebel
    certaindreamrebel liked this · 1 month ago
  • moonyy2
    moonyy2 liked this · 1 month ago
  • db-st
    db-st liked this · 1 month ago
  • hollowtechwreck663
    hollowtechwreck663 liked this · 1 month ago
  • creature-tm
    creature-tm liked this · 1 month ago
  • jazzdoesjazzhands
    jazzdoesjazzhands reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • transslyblue
    transslyblue liked this · 1 month ago
  • mrdolly
    mrdolly liked this · 1 month ago
  • spiritwolf551
    spiritwolf551 reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • spiritwolf551
    spiritwolf551 liked this · 1 month ago
  • gravesend666
    gravesend666 liked this · 1 month ago
  • moon-cooki
    moon-cooki reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • memoriesnthoughts
    memoriesnthoughts liked this · 1 month ago
  • orangecraz
    orangecraz reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • orangecraz
    orangecraz liked this · 1 month ago
  • barisaxifangirl
    barisaxifangirl liked this · 1 month ago
  • starfallskitter
    starfallskitter reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • thirstyforjohnseed
    thirstyforjohnseed liked this · 1 month ago
  • melissa-titanium
    melissa-titanium liked this · 1 month ago
  • ich-bin-khzar
    ich-bin-khzar liked this · 1 month ago
  • unidentifiedwhistlingobject
    unidentifiedwhistlingobject liked this · 1 month ago
  • slime-wizard
    slime-wizard reblogged this · 1 month ago
cingedash - Photosynthesis > Sleep
Photosynthesis > Sleep

Cinder | They/Them | Demisexual and demiromantic | Personal blog so don’t expect any form of consistency

180 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags