It’s story time! I have a ton of Witch Hat AUs chasing each other in my head like spiders in a jar, but it takes me literal years to write fanfics. So instead I’ll write my Qifrey is a silver tree AU in rambly essay format! Smooth. Flawless. I’ll also add footnotes and screenshots at the end for when I’m taking inspiration from specific scenes in the manga (and for extra ramble). So yep enjoy, feel free to peer review, cite, reuse and disseminate.
(Trigger Warning for abuse, trauma and blindness, but you are probably expecting it where Qifrey is concerned; spoilers up to chapter 47)
Weiterlesen
HOLY SHIT
SONG 21 IS CALLED SUFFERING
AND SONG 22 IS CALLED DIFFERENT BE(and then I can’t see the rest of the word-)
EDIT: SONG 22 IS DIFFERENT BEAST!!!
MC: How do angels reproduce?
Simeon: Well, it's a very complicated process and the Father-
Lucifer: Mitosis
MC:
Simeon:
Lucifer, pointing to Satan: Mitosis
The apprentices and Olruggio when they find out Qifrey is a tree
Note: these are purely my headcanons at the moment, they are based on animal ethology and behaviours that I think would suit each character depending on their personality and Lore. I would love to read your headcanon in case you have them.
Warning: Long text. Possible grammatical errors. It's written as if Mc was writing for themself.
Hey, it me Mc, the best human. Here is a compilation of the behaviours of my demons during their periods, cycles, for practical day to day use. It wasn't easy but I sat them down and got to talk to them, with a little effort I now know what they need. So now I am ready to assist them during these complicated times and be prepared in case I find a dead goat on the porch as a tribute.
Lucifer, Mammon & Levi || Satan, Asmo, & Beel || Belphie, Barbatos & Diavolo || Simeon & Raphael
Satan
Light damages his eyes, and during his period he does not sleep at all.
During his cycle, the plaques that extend from his tail to his entire body become more pronounced and acquire a bioluminescent coating. As do its horns. Beware, they prick.
Some parts of his body grow feathers (I think this is a "side" effect of his birth). He aggressively plucks them out, help him not to hurt himself.
His teeth grow continuously, he has to be sanding them (biting things or his own tail). Other than that he doesn't groom much.
Satan doesn't have a fixed place to spend his heat, and although he likes to "nest" he doesn't know how to do it well, which frustrates him a lot. Help him, you already have experience (I think that's why he has chosen my room as his favourite place)
Depending on the weather he may make something more like a nest or a burrow.
Satan is terribly territorial, even with his siblings. He has had a run in with Cerberus from time to time. Please don't let that happen, the house won't hold.
Satan does not have a pre-heat period as such, but you can tell it is coming because he becomes more taciturn and solitary.
Raw meat is his main food, which is what he goes out to hunt very often because he needs a lot of it, but make sure he doesn't eat more than his capacity or it will make him sick. One way to do this is to feed him yourself (I think he thinks you have hunted for him if you do this).
Satan is the only one who haunts other demons and even souls of the condemned.
It is the only one that has fought other demons. Any living thing within 100 metres of him is encroaching on his territory, which is a problem because he moves so much for hunt.
Satan becomes non-verbal. But he does not use noises to communicate, only physical contact.
Growls and roars are reserved for threats and warnings (in other words, to communicate with everyone but you).
He likes physical contact, but is afraid to get close in case he hurts you (his tags and tail), you won't deny him comfort so be careful and that's it.
Satan produces pheromones, but does not usually mark.
His way of courting is to offer you resources, especially prey (he wants to prove he can feed you), it's not the first time he's brought you a live demon. Once he brought you a Little D, the poor thing kept shaking.
Satan's senses are heightened to the extreme. Many stimuli upset him and he has fits of rage. talk to him, so that he focuses his attention on your voice, that will calm him down. Lucifer's voice calms him down a lot too (but it's a secret)
All these changes (hormonal, behavioural…) are not good for his anger, the poor thing gets very angry without knowing why.
Satan's temperature is a reflection of his activity, when he is on the move it increases and when he stops it decreases.
During periods of low activity he curls up next to you, holding your hand (for fear of hurting you) with his pupils fully dilated, don't be fooled, he is fully alert and ready to attack.
Satan purrs? YES! It's the purr that most resembles a cat (that will make him happy, but don't tell him, the avatar of wrath has his pride).
Mc: *in their bedroom helping Satan* Here is ok?
Satan: *looking at them and nodding*
Mc: Making a nest is complicated… are you sure this is okay?
Satan: *standing next to them and rubbing his cheek with their cheek *
Mc: *smiling* Okay, let's go to the next part.
Satan: *grunting at a demon that's approached the house*
Mc: Satan!!! Satan stop!!!
Demon: *paralyzed with fear*
Mc: *hugging* Satan now, let him go, he's going, he's goi- agh!
Satan: !!!
Mc: *cut themself with his tail* It's okay, it's nothing.
Satan: *guilty look*
Mc: *taking him by the hand* Don't worry, this heals fast.
Satan: *nodding still guilty, squeezing their hand*
Demon: …. I thought I was dying!!!!
Satan: *purring as he presses his chin on Mc*
Mc: *talking to him to calm him down* And remember you don't have to go out every day, there's plenty of food here….
Satan: *purring more loudly*
Mc: But if you see my great uncle's soul, the one from the village, it's all yours.
Satan: *nodding with a smile*
Mc: *laughing* How trustworthy, you're awesome Satan.
Asmo
Although he spends most of his time awake, he needs to sleep.
He can be just as active during the day as he is at night (like arachnids).
For him to sleep, you have to be right next to him or he won't sleep.
Asmo needs to nest completely under cover, underground, but prefers the safety of his home to going outside. So he improvises a burrow in his room.
During his period the scales of his exoskeleton become shiny and velvety coated, as do his wings and horns.
Them take on a more striking fuchsia colour than usual. It will be one of the few times you will be able to see Asmo's tail with its sting.
He preens himself a lot, moistening its wings, polishing its scales... At first he is a little reluctant to be helped, but later he will be constantly asking for your help.
More than territorial, Asmo is possessive. He doesn't want you to leave his side, sometimes with his siblings too. If he smells a scent of someone else in his tribe, good luck to that individual.
Asmo doesn't have pre-heat, you'll just wake up one day with all your clothes gone and you'll know it's started.
Asmo's diet during its cycle is varied, although its consumption increases, ranging from fresh meat, fluids of all kinds, to poisonous substances such as flowers, mushrooms or other live animals. Be sure to allow some time to pass before he kisses or bites you.
If you get him a rare poisonous plant, he will be happy and content.
He can talk normally, but he will also make clicking sounds to indicate his mood.
Lots of pheromones, Asmo produces lots and lots of pheromones during his period, pheromones that he will use to mark his territory. Often his siblings can't be near him. You don't have that problem
Asmo is very needy to contact, hug him, give him kisses, caress his wings, his hair. He will be happy to let you.
And he will return the gesture, he will bite you too (always have your first aid kit handy). He will always try to be on top of you or for you to be on top of him.
Asmo's courtship consists of exsivating while performing a dance (like scorpions), this dance is complex and elaborate, and during it he releases a large amount of pheromones.
He gets very confused when you don't react to it, Asmo I'm sorry but I can't smell your pheromones, sometimes he even gets sad.
His senses are very developed, especially his sense of smell, which is more developed than any of his siblings. Make sure the flowers in his room are enchanted so that they don't emit odour and with perfumes and other fragranced products the same or he can get hurt.
Asmo's temperature will generally drop, but he will go through periods of very high fever (due to his sin) which will leave him tired.
During fever peaks he will become very active, and will devote most of his time to courting. To balance this out you will have to COURT him yourself, you'd better improve that dance.
Because of his temperature, he will spend most of his time hiding in the burrow, demanding your cuddles.
He purrs? , yes, in an adorable and soft way. It is easy to make him purr, with a simple praise.
Asmo: Kiss? *with Mc sitting on his lap*
Mc: Not yet Asmo.
Asmo: *with teary eyes* Don't you love me anymore?
Mc: *sighing* Asmo, my life, my heart, you just ate three nightshade roots.
Asmo: *almost crying* And?
Mc: I love you very much but I also want to live.
Asmo: My nose itches.
Mc: Wait a bit longer, I'm finishing enchanting the flowers.
Asmo: *sad * It would be less trouble to remove them…
Mc: But you like them, don't you?
Asmo: Mc..
Mc: *hugging him* I'm here to help you and to make you comfortable, if you like the flowers, the flowers stay.
Asmo: Love you so much!
Asmo: *dancing with a very high fever*
Mc: Asmo, you are so beautiful… you can rest now.
Asmo: *staring at them non-stop*
Mc: *blushing while standing up * You leave me no choice *starts dancing and grabs Asmo by the waist*
Asmo: ?! Are you courting me?! * excited*
Mc: *Grabbing him in their arms to take him to rest* Yup, it worked?.
Asmo: I'm all yours, Mc, from the beginning…
Beel
Light is not a problem for him, although he prefers darkness.
During his period, the exoskeleton hardens and plates of it appear all over his body, and his horns become iridescent.
In addition, its wings become ribbed in a pattern, which at first glance is very beautiful. The more complex the pattern, the more attractive it is. You always see his wings as beautiful, but you agree with him, Beel deserves it.
He does a lot of grooming, which is lovely to see, because Beel is a bit clumsy and needs constant help, he has been injured a few times and you don't want that to happen again.
There are some flies and other insects that lay their nests underground. In Beel's case he has a small gallery dug in the garden, which he uses for storage too.
Beel at the beginning of the cycle may be in the house, but as he progresses he will be in his gallery.
More than territorial, he becomes protective of you and his siblings (he once kidnapped Luke), so when he is in his gallery he feels bad, because his desire to protect them is crushed by his need to be hidden.
Beel has a very marked pre-heat, in which he accumulates large quantities of food in his small cave and his appetite doubles. All the inhabitants of the house join in at this time to cook.
In contrast, during his period of heat his activity is reduced and his appetite decreases, this does not mean that he does not eat, he eats more often but in much smaller quantities and from storage (food that does not spoil).
He will insist on feeding you constantly, prepare indigestion medicine, you will need it.
Beel becomes totally non-verbal, be prepared to become an interpreter, he communicates with grunts, clicks and buzzes his wings.
Lots of buzzing, it's not the first time you've been hit by his wings, with the different buzzes he makes all sorts of claims and they have a high communicative range, you'll just need some time to figure it out.
His pheromones are strong, and he will mark, although he does it unconsciously.
As I said, he likes to have his family around him, but when he can't, anxiety takes over, vibration and physical contact calms him down. The easiest thing to do is to lay him on your chest and talk to him while stroking his hair or wings.
Beel's courtship is complex, first he feels the need to prove he can be a good provider, so he will constantly enlarge and improve his gallery.
And then there is the display of his wings, patterning and rhythmic, synchronised movements and buzzes to impress you.
He sleeps more than usual, will want you to sleep in his arms, and usually does so perched on one of his walls, hopefully you won't develop vertigo….
His senses are not as sharp as those of his siblings, but he becomes much more agile and has much better reflexes.
Beel's temperature increases, due to the continuous movement of his wings (insects produce a lot of heat when flying), but when he is at rest he tends to cool down.
Beel's purr is a mixture of a buzz and a vibration, he will purr when he is calm and content.
Beel was a little worried about how you might react because many humans detest insects. Be sure to praise his wings and other attributes, because this demon is adorable.
Mc: So this is your lair?
Beel: Yes… I decided to keep it from period to period to not destroy the garden…
Mc: I think it's very practical!!! It must be very cool in summer.
Beel: Do you really think so?
Mc: Yes, and cosy too, you're an artist Beel.
Beel: *smiling as he blushes*
Beel: *grunts*
Mc: Beel I can't take anymore…
Beel: *holding out a piece of fruit to them* *buzz*
Mc: Really Beel, I'm going to explode…
Beel: !! *hugging them*
Mc: It's a figure of speech… but can you eat my share… please.
Mc: *sleeping hugging Beel in one of the corners of his gallery*
Beel: *caressing them with his cheek*
Mc: It's all right Beel?
Beel: *crackling with worry*
Mc: Don't worry... Lucifer is with them… and the others will take care of Lucifer for you.
Beel: …*cradling them adoringly*
Mc: And I'll take care of you, so rest…
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If you have made it this far thanks you 🩷
wake up babe, hua cheng saying "as you wish" in the new tgcf dub episode just dropped
Do you think demons crack their joints?
It was a lazy, rainy evening in the Devildom. An oddly calm one. The residents of the House of Lamentation were gathered in the living room, mainly because that's where you were.
Beelzebub and Mammon were snacking and watching Leviathan play his handheld game. Asmodeus was browsing a magazine, Satan was browsing a book, and Lucifer was texting with Barbatos.
Belphegor had been dozing off on your shoulder for a while. It was hard to move under the demon's weight. You had been stuck in the same pose browsing your D.D.D. until he finally shifted, leaning back into the couch. You seized the opportunity to roll your shoulders and take a much needed stretch.
You lifted your arms. It felt great. Crack.
"What was that?" Satan asked, glancing up from his book.
"Beel probably sat on a chip," Mammon said. Levi snorted, too busy to take his eyes off the game but in agreement with Mammon for once.
"It wasn't me." Beelzebub stood up to prove his innocence, revealing no food under him.
"It was me," you said. "Just my back."
"Hon, what?" "Your what?" Asmodeus and Lucifer spoke at the same time, and both gave you a concerned look.
"My back? I just cracked it."
The demons sprung out of their seats like you had just cursed them. Levi's game system fell to the carpet. Since he was already standing, Beelzebub strode over and pulled the back of your shirt up, asking "does it hurt?"
Startled, you pulled the front of your shirt down for modesty. "Woah, hello? Excuse me? Uh, what?"
While everyone gathered to stare at your back, Belphegor was stirred awake. "What's going on?"
He went to lean on your shoulder again, but Mammon swatted him away. "Hey! Can't ya see they're injured?" he growled. Belphegor huffed at him, deciding instead to help hold your shirt up.
"Poor thing!" Asmo cooed. With one hand he grabbed your wrist, and with the other he made a peace sign. "Look at me, how many fingers am I holding up?"
"I'm fine. Everybody just chill." Despite your insistence, the panic had already set in and nobody was listening to you.
Leviathan was shaking. "T-that's not good, right? Humans aren't supposed to make those kind of sounds." He was covering his eyes with his hands squeamishly but peeking through his fingers to stare anyway. "A doctor! Are there any human doctors? Should we call Solomon?"
"Yes, somebody call Solomon," Lucifer commanded. "Where did the crack occur?" He started gently prodding around your spine, making you squirm.
Satan tried to bump Lucifer's hand away from you while placing himself in Lucifer's spot. "Can't you see they don't like that? You're making it worse."
"Deep breaths," Mammon instructed you, breathing deeply in and out. He seemed on the brink of hyperventilation himself.
Lucifer refused to budge, but Satan persisted. He was now also poking you. "The damage isn't visible yet, but there could be internal bleeding. You have to lay down."
Belphegor scooted over to make more room, despite your protest of "I'm not going to move, nothing is wrong."
Asmodeus managed to already get Solomon on the phone. You couldn't hear him over Asmo's worried shrieks but knew he had to be laughing. Solomon was not going to let you forget this incident.
Beel, Lucifer, and Satan moved to try and pick you up but enough was enough. "I said I'm fine!! Everybody stay!"
The seven went crashing to the floor, finally allowing you to cover up. "I am fine! I'm fine! See!" You stood up dramatically and grabbed Asmo's D.D.D. to apologize to a snickering Solomon.
The demons were annoyed and concerned as they tried to pick themselves up. "If you're so fine, then explain that noise," Satan said.
"Humans just do that from time to time."
Random RAD student: How does it feel to be the most hated person at RAD
Mephesto smugly: Listen in a campus full of losers I wear as a fucking badge of honor
Thirteen in the background: What about the rumors that you kissed the human?
Mephesto: WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?!