It’s The Middle Of The Night, And Bitty Skillfully Sneaks Into Jack’s Bed To Cuddle Up With His Boyfriend.

Ronnie just had to insist that she have dinner with the in-laws

the winter after ginny’s last year at hogwarts, they move in to their first shared home. 

pros of being friends with me: • you’ll gain a lot of useless knowledge about harry potter cons of being friends with me: • you’ll gain a lot of useless knowledge about harry potter 

hi i’m tolkien here are my ocs. i call them Elves (not elfs!!! if you call them elfs i will block you) they look like humans but they’re tall, live forever, and have pointy ears. that’s it bye

an incomplete list of the batshit insane things hermione’s done

-prioritized her education over her life

-instantly became ride or die with harry after the troll incedent

-set snape on fire

-brewed an illegal potion for two months in the girls’ bathroom

-turned into a furry

-immediate thought upon encountering a giant murdersnake was ‘better make sure the others find this page on my helpless petrified body bc god knows they won’t figure it out themselves’

-wanted to take finals after like a month in a magical coma

-traveled through time to get even more homework

-figured out lupin was a werewolf and didn’t tell anyone because he was a relatively competent teacher compared to magic ryan seacrest and literal voldemort

-essentially snatched trelawney’s weave gotdamn

-slugged draco malfoy, terrified him and his hulking buddies into running, went back in time to watch it again

-confronted a werewolf and his alleged mass murderer friend because, again, ride or die

-broke time travel laws in order to jailbreak azkaban escapee and his pet hippogriff

-dated an international sports star

-put up with all the vile shit rita skeeter wrote about her

-joined secret order dedicated to fighting voldemort

-put up with harry’s shit

-imprisoned a woman in a jar for months, blackmailed her into doing what she wanted

-formed and organized secret defense class, peer pressured harry into leading it

-permanently disfigured the girl who ratted them out. snitches get stitches.

-manipulated the shit out of umbridge

-basically left her to rot in the forbidden forest

-went to fight death eaters with like six of her mates despite her misgivings (RIDE. OR. DIE.)

-immediately agreed to destroy the dark lord’s soul with her buddies despite not having any idea how (RIDE! OR! DIE!)

-mind wiped her parents and made them go to australia to keep them safe

-essentially singlehandedly kept harry and ron alive and functional for the majority of the deathly hallows

-wore the locket while still managing not to be a shithead

-got the shit tortured out of her by bellatrix lestrange. didn’t go insane.

-fought in the battle of hogwarts. didn’t die.

-was unfailingly loyal and did everything she could to keep harry safe for seven years, even when he was quite frankly being a jackass

harry: *falls in love with ginny weasley*

my gay mouth: relatable,

holster knowing abt ransoms crush on chowder and them talking abt it and just nudging rans whenever chowder does something Cute or Sexy (or both bc lets be honest that boy,,) thats aimed at rans and rans commenting on his Goalie thin g (where hes super intense during the game and shit) like just the boys flirting bc that is my Shit

“Dude,” Holster says sympathetically.

“I know,” Ransom sighs.

“You told him his helmet hair looked nice,” Holster winces.

“I know,” Ransom repeats, not even trying to hide his grimace.

“I haven’t seen you be this off your game in… ever.” He puts an arm around Ransom’s shoulders, steering him back towards their corner of the locker room and away from the goalie stalls where Chowder is happily chatting with Jack.

“Maybe it’s because he’s a teammate?” Ransom shrugs.

“Nuh uh,” Holster shakes his head, “Freshman year you had Mitchy wrapped around your finger after two practices. This is something else.”

“God,” Ransom groans, “He’s just - fucking - do you see him right now?” He gestures over at where Chowder is sitting in his stall, running a hand through his hair and beaming up at Jack.

“Dirty pool,” Holster says, “Cute, hot, and a little bit crazy. Exactly your type. You never had a chance, bro.”

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