I NEED Kevin's POV Or At Least Some Insight On How He Reacted

And thats why he is my fave, dude is a literal menace

Also, Aaron absolutely not reacting to Neil throwing sh*t at him is so funny. Unbothered king

my favorite scene in all of literature is when Neil Josten wakes up in Columbia after being drugged, hurls an alarm clock at Aaron, dumps his water on the floor and throws the cup at Aaron, stuff his clothes down the toilet and squeezes out through the window, has the foresight to call Matt from a pay phone to protect his shit, hitch hikes back to campus, eyes back to brown?? shows up on Wymack’s door like 😜 and reveals he could speak German the whole time?? CHARACTER OF ALL TIME, that is a protagonist who knows how MOVE THE MFING PLOT ALONG

Screw it… Enid (from Wednesday) as Renee Walker.

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So I have been thinking and I noticed one kind of disturbing thing in the backstories revealed in TGR

So, we all know Jean tried to end his own life at the Nest and Riko tortured him for it and then locked him basically on a box with breathing holes

During the time Jean was locked in there, Kevin went to talk to him and made him promise to not try it again, bc he wouldnt be able to handle being left alone with Riko again (before Jean's arrival when they were all 14ish, it was just Kevin and Riko). Jean promised it to him, and not matter how much he wanted to, he never dared to break the promise, even after Kevin had left.

Riko never knew this talk or this promise happened, which means that this mtf probably thought the reason why Jean never tried to kill himself again was bc of the torture he faced after he tried it 🤡

Like, Riko was probably outhere thinking that locking someone up in a coffin for days is a super effective way to prevent future suicide attempts (kinda ironic since Riko died of "suicide", aah the karma that came to this little bitch will never not me amazing to me)

Anyways, just wanted to share with yall my disturbing thought of the night

He's so done

neil allowing himself to be so easily moved by andrew when he fights tooth and nail against everybody else never fails to make me feel insane. like even people neil trusts / knows have good attentions he fights against, most notably wymack when he gets back from evermore. and then u have neil with andrew who he lets into his space so easily who can push him, pin him, grab him, and neil never flinches and never fights bcus the trust he has in him is so absolute.

i think its a really nice understated way to show the flipside of the whole "hey how'd you get andrew to do this thing?" "oh i just asked" dynamic because andrew is presented as this immovable wall that does what he wants and only what he wants to an unreasonable degree, and then throughout the series you see him "fold" for neil over and over again. so it's very easy to point at andrew and go "hey look at how special he treats neil" but by virtue of neil being the narrator you kinda forget that the opposite is happening as well.

the wildest thing about lan wangji is the way he’s immediately enraged at his own feelings for wei wuxian. because we’ve seen wei wuxian fall in love slowly and surely, right? he goes from a quick interest to an oblivious attraction to liking lan wangji then being infatuated after his return to life, then to straight-up loving the guy intensely. we watch him develop his sexual and romantic attraction equally.

but lan wangji’s different. from the very first second he’s desperately smitten — all it took was one sly smile and he was going through the four stages of love: the desire to marry, kiss, bed and die with him. and he’s so goddamn outraged, because how dare this troublemaker trespass into his house and steal his heart so easily??

he was so conflicted that he didn’t see any other alternative if not to unsheathe his sword and fight the hell out of that idiot. feelings?? for a rebellious teenager?? right in front of my clan’s three thousand rules??? not today, devil.

Made by @marik_draw at twitter / @marikdraw here on tumblr

part 2

masterpost

script: @regulusmasamune

illustration: me! @oatmealdoodles

og:

"Just please let me go" was the most hearbreaking wording choice Nora could have done

It shows everything

First of all how done and tired he is ("just")

Also the "let me go" part: he is not asking only to be left alive, he is asking his father to let him go, let him live his life.

In book one he says that everytime he wakes up he has to remind himself everything is okay bc he always wakes up thinking his father found him and he has to take a few deep breaths and ground himself before starting his day

This has been this boy's life EVERY DAY for NINE YEARS, in other words, this has been his life for about 3.200 days.

This "let me go" isnt just a desperate plea for his life, but it is the plea of a kid who cant stand being afraid, scared and always on the run anymore. It has been NINE YEARS, and Nathan just cant let him go, for NINE YEARS Nathan didnt allow neither him or his mother to really go and he made their lifes a living hell. So what Neil is asking here is to be freed from the nightmare his whole life had always been, because of Nathan

He knows it is not gonna work, but he cant take it anymore. He had been strong for too much time and at that moment, all he wanted to was to live, but really live, not just be alive. And he couldnt do that unless his father letted him go

Another thing that always hurts me about this part is that he had accepted he was gonna die, literally until he saw his father

When it comes to kidnappings you should NEVER allow your kidnappers to take you to a second location. If you get kidnapped and you plan on trying to run, you gotta do it BEFORE you get to the second location. No matter how hard it seems to scape, it will be even harder once you are in the second location. Once you arrive where your kidnappers want you, then it is almost surely game over

Neil probably knew this very well. Like, even my mom taught me that, Mary definitely taught this to him

But even knowing that, when does he decides to try to scape???

Not only when he was already inside his father's house, at his basement (aka: second location), but also when his father arrived (aka: the worst possible time)

And this wasn't a rational decision

When Neil received Lola's call, he accepted he was gonna die that day. He didnt fight it, bc he had already accepted he was gonna be dead before may. Off course, it was earlier then what he wanted it to be, but it felt just like destiny knocking earlier at his door

But then he saw his father and reality hitted, HE WAS GONNA DIE

And at that moment he realized he wasnt fucking ready to go, not now, not this early. There was so much he wanted, most importantly there were the Foxes, he didnt want to leave them, he didnt want to leave Andrew, he wasnt ready. He tought he was, but he wasn't

And thats when he makes his desperate scape attempt and his desperate last plea "just please let me go", that wasnt a plea just for his life. He was asking his father to, after nine years, allow him to be happy, to be safe, to "go". It is the last plea of an abused kid to his abuser. "Just stop abusing me, Just stop obsessing with me. LET ME LIVE"

He knows it wont work, but at this point, after finally finding what to live for, he had to at least try it

If Nathan had found him at the beggining of his first season with the Foxes or while he was still in his HS team, he would have died without letting out a single scream or plea. Bc at that point he was living out of spite. He was living with the hopes he would eventually find what to live for. He had nothing but his pride, and he sure as hell wasnt gonna allow Nathan to take it from him.

But when Baltimore happens, he had found what to live for, his wildest hopes became true, he had what to live for. He realizes it when he finally sees his father after all this time. So at that point, fuck his pride, the Foxes were more important then that. So he begs. Knowing it will fall on death ears, but the life he had built for himself was way too important for him to not try. Nathaniel, the kid raised to endure all sorts of pain and scape from an entire mafia, would never beg shit to his father. But the Foxes had humanized him, so at that moment he does what any other human would do: he asks for his life. There, it was the first time In the whole series Neil does something remotely similar to what a 19 years old would (and even so, he still kept a certain composure). And that was when Neil Josten finally buried Nathaniel Wesninski. He did what Neil would do at that moment, not what Nathaniel would

Anyways, he was just a kid and I hate Nathan so much

I just hope this bastard is burning in hell and having to watch his son heal and live in spite of him

genuinely the most heartbreaking part in aftg like out of the whole series is at the end of the kings men when neil snaps and starts begging for his life

like his “please, just let me go, just let me go i’m not—” LIKE UGHHHH

to me it really emphasizes just how young he is…like he’s literally only 19 he’s a teenager!!! begging for his life!!!! (after trying so hard to save face in front of lola in the car it didn’t even matter in the end bc fuck i’m about to die)

and also just the parallel with andrew and his hatred in the word, that he also said please and it didn’t work

(and the fact that he probably also came to a point where he knew it wouldn’t work but he had to try and beg anyways bc there’s no way out he has no other options he has nothing to gain but nothing to lose either just please let me go—)

Their time on Tartarus is the perfect example of that

One couldnt have survived without the other down there

They made it across bc they naturally work toghter like if they were one

This isn't even a hot take, but Percabeth weren't smart x dumb. They weren't even book smart x street smart. They were strategic x strategic. Their minds worked in very similar ways that complimented eachother. It's why they were such great friends, it's why they were a formidable team, hell, it's why they could fight a war against a deity with an army of forty fricking kids and win. They shared their braincells, in the most beautiful sense of the phrase and THAT'S why, for me, they're perfect together.