I Just Took 30 Ml Of Nyquil And I Think I Know What Self Love Means Now

ugh almost got ASSAULTED by a bee ew like keep your chubby furry body away from me

looking back on old pictures... i know people always say they didn't realize how good they had it but man... things have gotten so much better since...

some motivation for u to pull it together and PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS

my version of "marry me" pasta

tried other people's but was too bland so made it my way... all these vanilla people no seasoning

enough to feed a family of 5

1 lb. linguine

1 bag parmesan (6 oz.)

1 jar napoleon sundried tomato halves (7.7 oz)

1 bottle heavy cream (1 pint)

1 orange bell pepper (in slices)

1 yellow bell pepper (in slices)

1 entire bulb of garlic (in slices)

1.23 lbs chicken tenders meat

garlic --> bell peppers (~10-15 min) --> chicken --> tomato (cut in slices, try to get all the goodies at bottom of jar) --> heavy cream --> (optional: add maybe 3/4 c. milk to heavy cream bottle, shake, and add) --> start boiling water --> keep stirring while water boils and pasta cooks --> 1 min before pasta ready add parmesan to sauce after taking sauce off heat --> mix --> add pasta

so storytime. last august i met up with my cousin and his friend who had just moved up here, but tbh i didn't really have fun (probs has to do with the fact that they grew up in a Very different tax bracket and we thus have Very different views on life, politics, morals, etc....). so when he requested to follow me on instagram i ignored it for like. two months until i felt bad and accepted and followed him back. he then dm'd (just to clarify, he has a gf i think he's just lonely in a new city and would like a friend) and we dm'd a little until i decided to just ghost him bc i was so over it :D fast forward to last week i was feeling guiltier than usual about my past actions and decided to just dm him back feigning apologies. and now we're hanging out friday and he wants my number to determine the time? like why sir we r communicating just fine via instagram. i don't need another form of communication through which i must ghost you when neither of us have fun on friday. so anyways i hate myself

stonks

okay am Heavily dreading hangout tmrw barf barf blech. am only happy bc will get to eat green curry for dinner. would be fine if he didn't text like a moron. already knew i hated when men say shit like "good girl," but did not realize how much i hate when men call me the following over text: "ma'am" and "miss [insert neighborhood i live in]." like wtf we barely know each other it's not even funny. also he only said "ma'am" i think bc i was taking most of the initiative in deciding shit for this hangout bc he's stupid. he's the one that texted to hangout first like grow a pair?!? he asks me what to eat. i ask asian or western. he says asian. i give several options. he picks one. i then suggest the time (i thought he would but it's only because i forgot he's stupid- i would also like to note he specifically asked for my number under the guise of determining a time for the hangout), to which he says "yes ma'am." like GOD FORBID A WOMAN TAKE INITIATIVE BC YOU'RE NOT DOING JACKSHIT. LIKE WHY AM I MA'AM ALL OF A SUDDEN. LIKE EW. WTF. i was gonna buy dinner to atone for ghosting last year but now im so traumatized i feel he owes me further compensation. please send help and thoughts and wishes and prayers and whatever tf because i'm gonna need to be severely liquored and/or drugged up to get to and survive tmrw night

what does crying while watching the same jim and pam edit on loop mean

sometimes you find yourself sitting on a curb in front of the dumpsters and next to the sewer, looking up at the fancy high-rises around you and wondering where the fuck it all went wrong

you ever saved a reel to show someone but instead of your friend it's you in the future and you're stifling laughter imagining future you stumbling upon the reel and remembering this moment because i just did