Sacreficied​ // Kanan Jarrus

What We Lost Along the Way

| open starter |

Sabine stared up at the endless expanse of galaxies around her, watching as two little suns’ rays peeked their way over the horizon, honey interrupting the amethyst twinkling of stars above. This planet, for all of its dangers, was beautiful, that much was true. The hues above blended seamlessly, and all Sabine could do was stare in awe and silence up at the universe around them, a still wonder about the teeming nature of life filling the background of their mind.

Mud that had crusted over into dirt specked the underside of her boots, and they picked it away aimlessly. Their mind was somewhere else this sunsrise. Again, she nodded to herself in pensive silence. 

Don’t worry, Ezra. I haven’t forgotten you. 

And, it was as true as the air rushing through their lungs. Months had gone by since he had passed away, but they knew, somewhere inside, that he was watching over them even now. With that dopey grin and a quip on his tongue, he was there. It was a dull ache, a constant hum in their bones, that had kept her from giving up amid the stressors of war (like so many others had done before her). A heaviness pulled at their heart, a biting doubt that if only she had been a little faster— or had they been more communicative—

But it was no good to blame themself. Ezra was lost, and then he was found. And then he was lost again, but this time, with more permanence. It wasn’t her fault. Or, at least, that’s what their family had said. It’s not your fault. If only they could believe that.

So, they waited. They waited, and wondered if she should contact old friends for the first time in weeks. Those friends were not lost to time and space, just at a different point within it, after all. It had been lonely the last few weeks, chasing a lead of information that turned out, after all, to be nothing. Maybe it was time for them to reach out again, to return to community again. It was a task for another day (Sabine had stayed up all night repairing the speeder bike she borrowed and the weariness had finally caught up to them), but one that should come to pass nonetheless.

Sabine let their eyelids, heavy with the weight of all they still had to accomplish, flutter shut. Before passing into dreams, they remembered the way his crooked smile twisted up at the corner of his mouth. Sabine let themself grin, too. 

I will never forget you, vod’ika.

(Image Description under the cut)

(Image Description: A mountain range in the distance, enveloped in shadow. It is sunrise, and the sun’s orange rays blend into a sky of deep purple. Constellations of stars dot the sky en masse. A shooting star burns through the center of the image as a single, thin, white streak.)

chaotickylia​ // Kylia Horne

Laughter fills the air around them. Crackling to life and adding electricity to the air and she finds the colors to be so vibrant. Colors? Since when was she able to see colors and the electricity in the air? She draws a breath, taking the other’s hand, getting up to her feet with a small laugh that leaves her once more. The colors swim around her, wrapping her up and filling her like a bubble ready to burst. She’s curious of this feeling. The way the air tastes as it moves with them. “Let’s do it!” Kylia laughs again, keeping their hands together as fear settles in the back of her mind of being separated from her newly found friend. She wants to stay with her. Doesn’t want to be alone. That fear wraps around her more like a monster in the dark, lurking in the shadows. “I’m Kylia!” She echoes the greeting as she follows behind them, her head spinning with the crows of people they’re passing. “Who are we looking for again?”

.

They ran, unsure of the path before her, but confident that it was the right way. The air was practically teeming with excitement, with life, and she wondered how anyone could be sad in a place as magical as this. Their newfound friend trailed her paces, and the Mandalorian was grateful for the company! 

“Kylia! That name is so pretty. A pretty name for my pretty friend!”

Another round of laughter boiled up from their toes, passed through chest and neck and mouth. It was uncontrollable, the laughter, but she didn’t mind! How could they, when they were surrounded by all these new friends? There was a question hanging in the air, but Sabine couldn’t focus on the answer. Of course she drew a blank; there was a race to finish! Maybe if they went a little faster, they could reach the clouds--

The two found themselves at last at a near-empty balcony, lit only by the patchwork of constellations above. Sabine doubled over, too tired to laugh. This was exhilarating! Was this freedom? 

“Ha! Look at the stars, Kylia. They’re dancing.”

beroyafett​ // Jango Fett

Jango sighed and pulled his helmet off before he noticed the Mando coming his way. If they had spotted the darksaber, he wasn’t about to fight in a crowded bar, so he hoped they were reasonable. 

He sipped at his drink as he watched the other approach and raised a brow at her, gesturing to the empty seat across from himself “Not business. But I suppose that depends on if you’re looking for a drink or a fight, burc’ya.” he said with a chuckle.

He hadn’t been challenged yet, but he was sure it wouldn’t be long. He’d do all he could to retain the saber and his pride. He’d even finally repainted Jaster’s symbol on his pauldron. 

_

The reveal of the warrior’s face was disorienting, to say the least. She’d seen that countenance a few times before, had shared meals and battlefield and laughter with someone who held the same lines of worry and laughter. Was this man a clone? But, then, why did he have the armor of a Mandalorian? For now, they resolved, all she could do was listen.

“Oh, I think you misunderstand me, friend. I don’t-- Er, I really don’t want that saber. I’m no leader, trust me. I’m just interested in how it’s traded hands since I last held it.”

They motioned for the bartender to bring another of whatever he was drinking, taking the seat across from him with a smile and an extended hand.

“I‘m Sabine. Sabine Wren. And I’d love a good story if you have the time.”

BANITA  SANDHU  //  have you met  SABINE  WREN  yet?  SHE/THEY  is now a  30  year old  DEMIWOMAN  HUMAN.  they’re originally from  MANDALORE  but typically reside on  THEIR SHIP.  after everything they’ve gone through, she shows loyalty to  THE REBELLION.  they are best known for being a/an  WEAPONS MASTER,  and i hear they’re pretty  INVENTIVE  yet also  STUBBORN  at times; I hope they survive the galactic civil war. ( JO )

L O A D I N G  :  /  /  ...  8ABY  :  MONTH TWO  ...  /  /

a few months into 7aby, sabine started to regain communications with friends and family after isolating to deal with the aftermath and grief that her actions in the rebellion caused.

she attends the new republic fundraiser, where they become much too inebriated to think straight. ZEB ORRELIOS has to step in to make sure she doesn’t do anything too regrettable.

seeking answers, they travel to mandalore to try and reconcile some of the guilt she is feeling about its destruction. there, she finds legendary mand’alor TARRE VIZLA, and over time, the two become family close friends.

they meet up with ALEXSANDR KALLUS  and help him with a tattoo that carries its own significance for the ex-imperial.

sabine confronts ARMITAGE HUX about his affair with holonet reporter ALTON KASTLE, threatening to release an incriminating image that could spell trouble for his career as a general of the first order.

loathing the hapan people for their distasteful display of colonized mandalorian artifacts, sabine plans with THE GHOST CREW and a few other mandos to reclaim the weapons and armor at the gala.

instead, they are faced with destruction unparalleled, forced to work with ARMITAGE HUX until finding an unconscious and injured mandalorian (PAZ VIZSLA). without knowing his adherence to the creed, they remove his helm and drag him to safety, stabilizing his head injury for as much time as is available. they leave before he can wake, drawing enemy fire away from him and allowing him a chance of escape.

among the chaos, sabine finds HERA SYNDULLA, and the two work together to escape with chopper and the ghost.

after recovering from the injuries hapes caused her, sabine and ZEB ORRELIOS move to aid lothal in wake of the attack on the planet’s communications systems.

 original intro 

The sight of the planet ran cold in her blood. For a moment, as the ship dropped from hyperspace, all they could see was Mandalore. The ash, the scars of a scorched planet. Streets overrun with fire, buildings reduced to ash. It was all too familiar. Guilt surged in their blood like it had done then, her breath caught in panic and fear. Without thinking, Sabine clutched onto Zeb, their fur thick underneath her touch. 

“It’s so much worse than I thought.”

If the Mandalorian had held any doubt that Lothal needed their help, it was gone now. There was a half-glance shared, and a moment of understanding passed between the two. There was work to be done, and no time to hesitate.

“Where do we even begin?”

@spectreoflasan​ 

galaxywon​ // Hera Syndulla

“  You’re  reckless  now.  “  Hera  reminded  them  with  an  affectionate  shove  of  their  arms  against  her  own.  It  was  something  they  all  shared.  The  twi’lek  had  told  herself  that  it  had  been  necessary.  Most  of  the  time  she  still  thought  it  was.  But  there  were  some  times,  like  looking  at  something  brilliant  that  their  son  had  done,  that  made  her  wonder  if  she  would  do  it  again  today,  leave  him  in  this  wide  galaxy  all  on  his  own.  They  followed  her  over  to  the  table,  sitting  opposite.  They  sighed.  It  was  easy  to  get  lost  in  all  the  things  she  had  done  wrong  as  a  parent.  Being  a  mom  was  hard.  Raising  a  force  sensitive  child  with  an  ability  that  they  did  not  have  was  even  harder.  

Kanan  made  it  easier,  but  that  didn’t  mean  it  didn’t  scare  them  still.  “  You’re  right,  as  always.  “  They  smiled,  reaching  to  grab  Sabine’s  hands.  “  It’s  a  mother’s  jobs  to  worry.  “  They  had  worried  about  the  Ghost  Crew  constantly.  Even  as  they  were  being  thrown  into  life  threatening  events  in  real  time.  “  My  father  respected  the  jedi,  worked  with  them  during  The  Clone  Wars.  But  no  one  could  warn  me  about  how  scary  it  is.  “  

At  the  mention  of  Chopper,  their  lips  quirked  up,  sitting  straighter  in  the  chair.  “  I’m  running  some  diagnostics.  When  the  Ghost  was  on  Sernpidal  he  got  banged  up.  Nothing  that  he  can’t  handle  though.  “  She  grinned.  “  Don’t  let  Chopper  hear  that  though.  Chaos  will  come  in  ten  fold.  Even  as  they  chatted,  it  seemed  like  more  was  going  on  than  they  were  saying.  It  worried  her.  Sabine  could  always  come  to  them.  They  hoped  that  they  knew  that  everything  would  be  dropped  in  a  second  for  any  member  of  the  crew.  

 “    What’s  on  your  mind,  Sabine  ?  “  

Of course, the compliments brought a smile to her face. They knew they were reckless, and they knew they were quick enough to catch a womp rat in its tracks. Still, to hear it from someone she held so much respect for...

“Vor’e, buir. And, hey. If you worry, it’s because you’re a good parent, Hera. Because you know that this galaxy is so big and dangerous, and you just want to keep him safe from that.”

That’s what she had wanted for their little brother, too. But the choices they’d made had hurt. They’d caused scars and bloodshed, and there was no erasing that. And the question, it pulled at their chest even more, a weight that tore through her lungs and into the pit of their stomach.

Sabine valued every relationship with the Spectres, but with Hera...She had always trusted them with feelings and thoughts that the others wren’t sure how to hold. Somehow, her parent always knew how to hear their child, knew how to make her feel held. And they were grateful for that, truly. It was with that trust that Sabine sighed and leaned forward, head resting on crossed arms. 

“You know I don’t want to bring the mood down, ‘specially now that we’re all together again, but...I keep thinking about my family. Well, my other family, on Mandalore.”

There it was, the guilt. The gnawing fear. Sabine knew that Hera understood about having another family (one bound by blood and not bond), but it always felt a little weird to bring them up to her. Still, they had to remind themself to trust the parent that sat before her. 

“I don’t know, I keep finding other Mandalorians out there and it’s just. I can’t help but wonder if they’re out there, too. And if they are, why they haven’t tried to...”

But she knew why. Sabine knew why they wouldn’t try. And she didn’t even blame them.

“When I do, y’know, I just feel this pressing guilt, like a weight on my shoulders. Like it’s my f-” 

The breath caught in their throat as eyes pricked up with moisture, too warm. Too uncomfortable. 

“Anyways. I’m sorry, Hera. I’m not trying to ruin our time together. I just really missed you. I missed this.”

generally-scheming​ // Armitage Hux

“I prefer documentaries, actually,”  Hux replied through a faint sneer.  “The linear progression of history. Cause and effect laid out in rational sequence. No cheap gimmicks or red herrings.”  He punctuated his answer with a sip of wine to underscore his disdain for this entire conversation.   (Which was growing by the second, now that they had indicated they were too well-versed in these games of intrigue to hand him any more free intelligence.)

He scoffed openly at Wr— at Sabine’s choice of words. No one who had ever met Brendol Hux would call him dignified, not even his friends. Nor could she begin to imagine what it had been like to grow up in Brendol’s shadow, and Armitage had no intention of illuminating her.  “Oh, bereft, yet I might just be able to hold back my tears for love of the Empire.” 

He narrowed his eyes. They were toying with him, dragging out the exchange to watch him squirm. Her opening gambit had been a threat; that meant she would give him nothing unless he offered something more valuable than she believed her   (yet to be substantiated)   blackmail to be. He had to determine their price — continuing to play would only benefit them, not Hux. So he cut straight to the point.  “But you’re right. You are obviously not here to ask after my father’s good health, so what do you want?”

_

The admission almost brought a huff of laughter to pass their lips. Of course he would. Never one to have a little fun now and again. Sabine could tell by now that he was growing impatient (irritable? resentful? at any rate, he was even more tightly-wound than she could have hoped for). His attempt to cut past the foreplay of it all was almost impressive-- if it wasn’t solely for his own gain. He wouldn’t attempt to harm the Mandalorian yet, so long as they proved to be useful. And she had a feeling that the clock was ticking.

“You’d certainly be right on that front, general.” She examined the drink before cautioning another sip, attempting to hint at the contempt they both shared for the man. Ah, but he seemed unamused and unwilling to bait the hook. Perhaps that conversation would have to wait for another, more opportune time...

“Besides the sheer pleasure of drinking with you, I did have a question. Armitage, indulge me, would you? Does anyone else know about your sleeping arrangements with the holonet reporter Alton Kastle?”

generally-scheming​ // Armitage Hux

His pulse accelerated when they produced the datapad, its blank screen mocking him with unknown possibilities. But what could she possibly have? Hux had been meticulous about covering his tracks — he’d hired a slicer to remove any trace of him from the security footage at 500 Republica on the night he delivered the infamous Amidala tape. Then he’d gone a step further and airlocked the slicer to eliminate the risk that they would talk.   (Saved him a few credits, too.)   And he had of course searched Alton’s penthouse for bugs. Every time!  Granted, that night at the New Republic fundraiser when he had first met Alton, he had been… thoroughly inebriated   (not by his own design! Damn that Seventh Sister)   and had perhaps not been quite as cautious accompanying Alton back to his ship as was appropriate.   (Appropriate being not at all, but it was too late for that now.)  

But even as reason urged him to tread carefully, pride demanded he call her bluff. Hux returned their gaze with haughty, manufactured confidence.  “I would do nothing,”  Hux said firmly, as if saying it with sufficient authority would make it so,  “Because you have nothing. It does not exist.”  Cold sweat slicked his palms as he waited for her response.

_

His words rang with hollow intent in Sabine’s ears. Of course, he’d try to deny her accusation (no doubt a result of years of practice). She followed his glance once to the datapad and held it lithely in their fingertips, toying with the edge of the screen. He was trying to measure the truth in her words, trying to pry the evidence from them. Fine. She’d lean into the game. (No reward without risk, right?)

“Okay, Armitage. If that’s what you really think, who am I to stop you? After all--” they picked up the datapad, letting the grain of an image flash in his direction  for just a couple of moments before stowing it out of sight. “--I’m sure there are plenty of people who’d like to believe otherwise. Maybe I should take my concerns to them and be on my way.” 

They moved as if readying to leave, examining his face for any reaction. Stealth armor pressed into her skin beneath the dress, vibroblade at their thigh cool to the touch. Cowardly though Sabine thought he was, if there was any chance of a fight, she’d be ready. An inhale and an exhale marked her lungs, and excitement ran electric across the Mandalorian’s skin. The ball was in his court now, and Sabine couldn’t wait to see how he’d play.

This night was exactly what Sabine needed. After months of...well, everything that had happened, this feeling was nothing short of a fucking miracle. So, they figured, might as well ride the high while it was here. Let tomorrow’s problems belong to tomorrow; today was for good company. And speaking of...

They spotted the twi’lek out of the corner of her eye, a nervous parent standing away from the prying eyes and hot bodies of the crowd. The garden outside was quieter, and well-lit with strings of lights. A striking contrast to their dark jumper. The weightlessness of whatever she had consumed carried them over, prompted them to pull Hera into embrace.

“Heraaaaa! Haar’chak, buir, I can’t you actually came!” They giggled and downed another shot, offering one to the mentor in front of her. “You look stunning.”

@generalspectre​ 

l  closed starter  l  @inspiringgreatness​

Sabine’s fingers trembled with the ship’s communication system, struggling to find the right frequency for their old friend. The last thing she wanted to do was bother such an important and busy figure with something as trivial as this, but they didn’t know who else to turn to. Finally, the hum of static softened into a dull purr, and she sat down with a sigh. The light on the holo camera blinked blue to let them know it had begun recording.

“H-hey. Hey, Ahsoka. It’s Sabine.”

Idiot. As if she couldn’t already tell. 

“Look, I really don’t want to bother you, and you don’t have to answer this message. But, I--” they sighed, hugging her knees to their chest.

“I just didn’t really know who else to talk to, I guess? I mean, I just don’t feel ready to talk to Hera or Kanan, or...well, anyone, about it.” 

(Or about anything, really.)

“ Look, I’ve just been thinking about Ezra a lot lately, and, I don’t know, I thought maybe you had too, and, maybe we could talk about it together? O-or not. That’s okay, too.”

Sabine paused, breath catching in her throat and stomach swelling with regret. Ahsoka didn’t need to be concerned with this. She was a Jedi once, and she had probably dealt with scenarios worse than this in the Clone Wars. What was Sabine even doing?

“On second thought, I’m sorry. I-I don’t mean to. To, uh. To take up your time.  you’re probably really busy. I really hope you’re doing well. Stay safe.”

Sabine hastily reached forward and switched the channel off then stifled the racking sob clawing its way up her throat.