I Want To Lay His Head On My Chest. I Want To Comfort And Coddle Him Even When He Isn't Necessary Upset,

Maybe one of the reasons I feel so much younger than I am is because I am stuck in the same place where I was when I was much younger. I have grown, gotten new experiences, changed as a person. But at my core I am still a little girl who just keeps wishing they wouldn't have to exist anymore.

It's so weird feeling that you have a lot of love to give, but feeling as if you have no one to give that specific love to. Yes I have loved ones that that love me, that I keep living for really. But it's no the same.

And at the same time my mind just yearns to have someone to obsess over.

It's literally been minutes and I can feel her changing in my head. Her form shifting. She is telling me more about her ed, but im froze, I'm crying, I just felt like I lost a friend in a single moment and it's even more unfair to her.

NOOOO!!! A GIRL IVE BECOME GOOD FRIENDS WITH OVER THE MONTHS JUST TOLD ME SHE HAS AN ED. NOW MY BRAIN WILL AUTOMATICALLY START SEEING HER AS COMPETITION, START HYPERANALYZING EVERYTHING I AND SHE DO AND SAY AND ITLL START TO SPITE HER FOR BEING SKINNIER THAN ME.

I took a nap during the day and now I can't sleep. I'm so bored and just want to sleep, but I Literally can not fall asleep.

Gonna fast till Thursday noon. Right now it's only almost at hour 10, but gotta push thru it.

When my mom said, it can't be that tiring it's everyday life, that cut deep.

What video games do you like? Is chocolate the best or THE BEST? What music do you like?

Ooo only game I play is minecraft absolutely love it even when the updates are mid asf, somehow still not bored to death after 11 years. Idk if that counts cause I'm not into the games, but I really like fnaf lore just like it's own.

Hot chocolate is soo good, but only at like cafés or gas stations. I can't make a good one at home lol. Chocolate itself is a hit or miss for me, but rather delicious ofcofc.

This is such a bad answer, but I don't have a certain genre I like the most (not too knowledgeable abt niche genres anyways). I like the basics, kpop, lana del ray, mitski, boy genius the cranberries etc. But my playlist are mostly bunch of random songs I've found.

I want to die. My life isn't even that bad right now, days go by fine. But being in my body and mind is like the ultimate prison sentence, I want out. I wish to carve all my organs out and then my brain and lay it on a cold surface.

I feel as if ill never be able to escape my food addiction. I feel prisoned for eternity. I don't want to live like this, but its part of my whole being. It has fuzed itself into every fiber of me. The only way to escape it is to kill myself.

I was not made to be happy, it seems to me I was made to be miserable. I've realized that I am unable to have fun like others, interact and feel joy like others, to see life like others, to enjoy things and activities like others. My face doesn't get that puffy even when I cry frantically for hours, the redness around my eyes always fades very quickly. Ironically it really is as if my body was made to be miserable.

One of my darkest secrets or thought, is that I wish, fantazise abt my parents dying. I actually don't want them to die, i love them so much, I want them to live happily till they're very old. But they are the thing that is stopping me from killing myself. I know it would destroy them, ruin their lives, I've already done that a bit being alive, I can't do it even more. I can't hurt them like that. But killing myself is my only true desire.

I simply can't be happy in my body, with this mind. That's why I want out, even when I won't be happy, I atleast won't be miserable, I will be free. I genuinely feel I am either not meant to exist at all or only meant to exist to feel miserable, both make me want to die either way.

I spend my nights wishing something would get better but it never does, it only gets worse. These are supposedly the best years of my life, what the fuck is the rest gonna be like that then. Worse of course lol.