More From This Au

“ooh garlic salt isn’t real” yeah well neither is your MARRIAGE after i’m done FUCKING YOUR HUSBAND and afterwards he eats my delicious cooking that i seasoned with GARLIC SALT. FUCK YOU

i think. you sent this to the wrong person. but im enamoured with your energy. you can have my metaphorical husband you deserve her

the gang's all here!!

he's so real

He was as tall as he was tall, and his eyes were the color they were. To describe his hair one would say that he had some. His face had all the features you'd expect, and none of the ones you wouldn't. "There he is," people would often say of him, but only when he was there. And they were right.

I refuse to believe anyone actually has a visceral reaction of disgust to pineapple on pizza. As far as “weird foods” go that’s one of the most tame examples and pineapple is probably the least offensive fruit to put in a savory dish. Pineapple antis are on some performative shit like the people who pretend to be really uncomfortable with the word “moist”

miles twins bickering

right person, wrong time

I inherited my mother's nose and the colour of her anger- crimson with a hint of green. She gave me her pearls and wrapped them with her sadness, and we called it a perfect birthday.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

i would be the perfect girlfriend please give me one chance

I literally can’t make eye contact with you without grinning like an idiot omg