I’m Bringing Him To Some Mud Hole In Nowhere, Mississippi And Teaching Him Noodling. And Then We’re

Oh hey this is me IRL.

MysMe and OM MC in a nutshell

MC: Am I about to make a terrible decision? Yes.

MC: Will I regret said decision? Probably.

MC: Am I still gonna do it? Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, I am.

MC: Because I'm an idiot!

Second only to Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. I was delightfully traumatized by such art as:

This is one of my favorite childhood stories.

Raphael is about to see some gangsta shit, ngl

I dare you. I double dare you.

Who posted this: Mammon

Caption: “I can’t believe this human’s been cheatin’ at cards again! I dunno if I should be proud or really ticked off!”

I’m a lurker and nobody in the fandom so I’m not sure who I’m tagging so....

Obey me! Devilgram picrew challenge thingy!

Cause I found this picrew and I’d thought it be fun.

The rules are simple: use this picrew to make a devilgram post of your MC. Tell us which brother posted it and what the caption says (you could totally do more than those two things I just couldn’t think of anything else).

Who posted this?: Asmodeus

Caption?: “ I love this poor girl to death but she cannot pose for her life😞.”

A special thanks to @octofox cause I found this picrew on her blog!

I’ll be tagging @drxxmofyou @cheesepuffffff and @oceanlipgloss (no pressure guys!)

Have fun and tag your friends!

Pro tip! Make a 1:1 solution of water and white vinegar and spray it on the pee spot. The vinegar should react with the ammonia in the urine and help neutralize the smell.

Mum and I let a stray cat into the house just now and he pissed on the curtain so we’ve been frantically trying to cover up the smell so Dad doesn’t tell us off.

I sprayed the scene of the crime with a load of dettol but now the whole room smells of that which is even more suspicious.

So I said to Mum: “what if he questions why it smells like a toilet in here now?”

To which she replied: “We’ll just tell him you farted so I had to light the candles but they weren’t enough.”

THANKS MUM

Yes Belphie get that sizzurp we are getting TRASHED

Lucifer: Simeon is throwing a party. He wants to know your favorite sodas.

Mammon: Fanta is good.

Satan: I don't drink soda, I'll just have juice.

Beelzebub: Please don't make me choose.

Belphegor: Carbonated Nyquil

Lucifer: ...

Mammon: ...

Satan: ...

Beelzebub: Belphie nO

Oh no, honey, this is BLESSED.

I’m taking him home and we’re going to play Fire Emblem until we murder each other over whether we’re team Black Eagles or Golden Deer (Black Eagles come fight me)

@automatictastemakertheorist asked if I could make the boys as rats and I tried, but when I finished Levi- I just gave up because it's so cursed to me 🤣

I cannot have children because I envisage the following conversation between myself and their teacher:

Teacher: Little Zeke called Little Polly a “goatfucking twatface” today, do you know where they learned that?

Me: Well, was the bitch playing like a goatfucking twatface? I don’t know what your fucking problem is.

if my son is stealing pies off windowsills its because i taught him to do that bitch 

Hello fellow idiot!

Also I’m thinking of like, in Arthur’s route, you get threatened by some random barflies, which, yeah I’ll glass y’all in the face any day of the week. And I think some college bro punks try to start shit in Isaac’s route? I’ve killed off a lot of my brain cells with quarantine drinking, so my memory might be iffy.

Also, IRL tip from my time spent working with law enforcement: if someone tries to grab you/lure you away and take you somewhere, scream, run away, do whatever it takes not to go with them. Your odds of getting out alive are a lot better if you put up a fight before the asshole gets you to a private place.

This has been a PSA from your friendly local embittered old feminist former prosecutor

This has been bothering me since I started playing otome games, especially the Ikemen series (aka “Kidnapping for Fun and Profit Romance”). Why are the MC’s always helpless as shit and/or shaking in their boots as soon as the love interest gets into some kind of scuffle?

My daddy didn’t teach me to throw a haymaker so some malnourished nineteenth-century twat could pick me up and carry me away. When the MC is threatened by an antagonist/random mugger/whatever plot device, I want an option to say, “Bitch I can bench-press you and your Dickensian orphan buddies, go eat whatever sewer rats you use as a protein source and come back to me in a couple months.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, and the Japanese market likes their protagonists sweet and innocent, or maybe I’m just white trash, I dunno. Give me an MC who is about to take her earrings off and turn her rings in ‘cause she is gonna step to these fools.

In summary:

I have so many questions.

Does the author think boobs are like testicles, and they get all wrinkly and drawn in if it’s cold? Is sperm stored in the boob?

Do Madeline’s nipples also get droopy, like sad puppy dog eyes?

Speaking of puppies, can she wag her titties when she’s happy?

Does she have sad day bras and happy day bras? Did she throw out all her push-up bras and buy a Patton Oswalt album to listen to before a hot date?

Why are men?

I know we’ve already read a lot of “men writing women” crap, but I am absolutely losing my mind at this passage

me: *gets depressed*

my breasts: