Me Encanta!

“Justin Bieber”

I am dying. I am deceased.

Also, petition to call our gluttonous one Clyde from now on. It makes me think of the big Clydesdale horses, which absolutely are the Beels of the horse world.

Old trend, but I let my Mom guess the brother's names

I gave her a tiny hint, "they don't have Japanese names."

Your son looks like a nice kid.

Think my kid bit him though. Sorry bout that.

Have you seen my son? Now you have.

Oh no, honey, this is BLESSED.

I’m taking him home and we’re going to play Fire Emblem until we murder each other over whether we’re team Black Eagles or Golden Deer (Black Eagles come fight me)

@automatictastemakertheorist asked if I could make the boys as rats and I tried, but when I finished Levi- I just gave up because it's so cursed to me 🤣

I’m bi and probably not 100% the target demographic, but it doesn’t necessarily bother me that there aren’t dateable ladies in the game. I can play Arcana to hang out with my big tiddy GF Portia, I don’t need every game to cater to everything I like. That being said, we hear about other female characters in passing - witches other than Maddi, I think some succubi maybe? I think it would be cool to develop some characters like that in-game. Maybe an older witch gives us some lessons in magic, or we take Luke to hang out with Madame Scream to make some macarons, or team up with a succubus to prank Asmo, or maybe we go find the little girl Mammon takes care of in the human world and take her on a playdate with Little D. No. 2? Even if they’re not big characters, it would flesh out the world and be a good foil to the main characters we’re romancing (or adopting, in the case of Luke lol).

okay i'm gonna say it. to have one of the only female characters that appear in the game dead and the other, Maddi, who is a human witch, be obsessive and make most of the characters uncomfortable on multiple occasions does not look all too good for the game. just because it is an otome game does not mean that there can't be any female characters portrayed in a good light. i've had a problem with this for a while but didn't really say anything about it since it is an otome game after all, and i felt like as a queer (lesbian, nb) fan i have never been their target demographic to begin with.

i just felt like finally saying something since i haven't really seen anyone talk about it.

Look, I don’t know about the Devildom, but up here in the human world, I have rights.

And I will worship whatever abs I want.

Barbatos's abs supremacy

Sigh

Please do not make a group worshiping my abs

Y’all know the Bermuda Triangle?

Everyone who got lost there disrespected pronouns in front of Dolly.

You can’t prove me wrong.

I have so many questions.

Does the author think boobs are like testicles, and they get all wrinkly and drawn in if it’s cold? Is sperm stored in the boob?

Do Madeline’s nipples also get droopy, like sad puppy dog eyes?

Speaking of puppies, can she wag her titties when she’s happy?

Does she have sad day bras and happy day bras? Did she throw out all her push-up bras and buy a Patton Oswalt album to listen to before a hot date?

Why are men?

I know we’ve already read a lot of “men writing women” crap, but I am absolutely losing my mind at this passage

me: *gets depressed*

my breasts:

TFW you’re a grown-ass woman with a paycheck that you can spend on otome games, but you’re also a grown-ass woman and you’re supposed to be responsible with said paycheck. 

Here we fucking go.

And if you’re really worried about stress eating or being unhealthy during the pandemic, you can do better things than shit yourself silly after drinking whatever diet tea you saw on Instagram. Besides the fact that they don’t work, a lot of diet programs you find on social media will either harm you (because they’re extremely restrictive or call for taking some unregulated supplement containing hell knows what) or your wallet (because when you order a program they’ll steal your credit card number or sign you up for some autoship mess).

Go for a walk, do some yoga, play with a dog, make something healthy but tasty, like an omelet with veggies or pancakes with fruit (yeah, I love breakfast food, come at me bro). Doing these things might not even make you lose weight, but they will make you feel good.

Or engage in my favorite form of self care, dousing yourself in Vaseline and sliming around the floor while you play at being a slug.

You don’t owe it to anybody, at any time, and especially not during a global pandemic, to be a certain size or shape. You are making it through an unprecedented disaster and that makes you a certified fucking badass.

I love you all and I support you in doing whatever you gotta do, you rock star.

Diet companies will be hitting hard this year. Be prepared to hear repeated sentiments of “It’s time to get rid of that Quarantine 15” and “In these hard times, commit to taking care of yourself with healthy living and weight loss.”

This rhetoric is going to be everywhere. And due to the nature of modern advertising, the vast majority of it will be coming from people online who just look like they’re trying to share some good advice with the followers that they love so much. You’ll barely be able to see the money getting thrown at them from the weight loss industry.

Don’t reward them for using these manipulation techniques - Buying their products and losing weight isn’t going to make your year any better, or erase the stress of the pandemic, or be the first step in self-care.

Please please please see these ads for what they are - A way of preying on your insecurity and trauma in order to make money.

If you claim to hate cats and can’t stand them but as soon as you see one you go “pssst pssst here kitty boo boo who’s a baby?”

You are not controlling.

You are just my dad.

(will you send me some money?)

hey so, as a man who works with other men, here’s a quick relationship tip: if he doesn’t much like cats, that might be just a personal preference. if he hates cats, if he tells you he hates cats as soon as he hears that you have a cat and love your cat, he’s an asshole. he’s telling on himself.  

every guy i’ve ever worked with that makes a point of telling me how much he hates cats as soon as i mention that i have a cat and love my cat, is always someone who is regularly cruel for fun and who laughs in the breakroom about the mean things they do for fun to their girlfriends and children.