Character Art By Gwendigo

Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery

“Oh yeah, every time that dad forgets mom is dead, we head to the cemetery so he can see her gravestone.”

WHAT. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard some version of this awful story. Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery. Seriously. I cringe every single time someone tells me about their “plan” to remind a loved one that their loved one is dead.

I also hear this a lot: “I keep reminding mom that her sister is dead, and sometimes she recalls it once I’ve said it.” That’s still not a good thing. Why are we trying to force people to remember that their loved ones have passed away?

If your loved one with dementia has lost track of their timeline, and forgotten that a loved one is dead, don’t remind them. What’s the point of reintroducing that kind of pain? Here’s the thing: they will forget again, and they will ask again. You’re never, ever, ever, going to “convince” them of something permanently. 

Instead, do this:

“Dad, where do you think mom is?”

When he tells you the answer, repeat that answer to him and assert that it sounds correct. For example, if he says, “I think mom is at work,” say, “Yes, that sounds right, I think she must be at work.” If he says, “I think she passed away,” say, “Yes, she passed away.” 

People like the answer that they gave you. Also, it takes you off the hook to “come up with something” that satisfies them. Then, twenty minutes later, when they ask where mom is, repeat what they originally told you.

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happy national coming out day to everyone who plans on coming out today

happy national coming out day to everyone who’s been out for a while

happy national coming out day to everyone who can’t come out

happy national coming out day to everyone who could come out but isn’t ready

you’re all valid and i love you

the first people to ever use terms of endearment for each other must have been so in love i'm in tears just thinking about it

Dirty talk but you both use your customer service voice

So this has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it three days ago.

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the difference between romantic love and platonic love is mostly intent

Different Stories Resonate with Different People

Volume/headphone warning.

Wanted to try and pay homage to perhaps the best tweet in existence. Any and all credit goes to Patricia Lockwood for the original post and picture. And, of course, to darling, affronted Miette.