Platonic Tweak And Dashi Headcanons Because My Girls Are Besties????

Incorrect Octonauts Quotes but I've been gone for a while and am getting back into the swing of things using dumb things I've done/witnessed

Tw/Cw for swearing, flexibly but described weirdly, and a lot of capital letters at the end

•─────✧─────•

Shellington: *info-dumbing about blobfish*

Random person: Um, actually, [incorrect information]

Shellington: You fucking, BITCH-

─────────────────────

Kwazii: Hey, check this out

Kwazii: *bends bones in every direction possible*

Peso: That... no-

Barnacles: Good job son, now put your bones back

─────────────────────

Dashi: So, can you fix this?

Tweak: Sure thing, here-

Tweak: *aggressively hits machine with a wrench until it works*

Tweak: New record

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Alright, how many gear shifts does a car have?

Kwazii, zoned out: 120mph

Barnacles: No-

─────────────────────

Professor Inkling: Can someone please explain what a "Himbo" is??

Dashi: *Points at Barnacles*

Dashi: That. That's a Himbo, but with extra brain cells

Barnacles: What...?

─────────────────────

Tweak: *is crying in their room*

Tweak: You know what? Fuck this

*Pulls out a bunch of hair dye*

Tweak: Free therapy, screw men

─────────────────────

Shellington: Therefore, seize the gay

Peso: Seize the gay?

Shellington: DAY! DAY! I MEANT DAY!!

Kwazii: Too late, SEIZE THE GAY!!!

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Please put that down

Dashi holding Shellington on her shoulders: No

─────────────────────

Kwazii: I MESSED UP!!

Kwazii: SO I ASKED DASHI AND TWEAK TO PICK A COLOR AND SHOWED THEM A COLOR CHART THING

Kwazii: DASHI IS COMPLETELY COLOR BLIND!!

Kwazii: TWEAK IS BLUE-YELLOW COLOR BLIND!!

Kwazii: AND I SHOWED THEM A COLOR CHART

•─────✧─────•

So I'm slowly coming back ^^;

I apologize for the long silence, I've been busy/stressed lol

Incorrect Octonauts Quotes: Halloween Addition!!

Happy Halloween, be sure to stay safe ^^

[Headcanons coming later!]

Tw/Cw for swearing

•─────✧─────•

Barnacles: Tonight we're holding a Halloween party in the Octopod!

Tweak, holding several bags of cobweb: my time has come

─────────────────────

Kwazii: I've walked two blocks and no one has given out any candy! Can you believe this?

Shellington: Kwazii it's 10am

Kwazii: and???

─────────────────────

Kwazii, flailing: SPIDER!!!

*crashes into chairs and on to the floor*

Tweak: That's a spider ring-

─────────────────────

Barnacles: I need help-

Dashi: Finally, I've made a list of good therapist to visit-

Barnacles:

Barnacles: ...with my makeup...

Dashi: oh-

─────────────────────

Professor Inkling: Shellington, I need help making a costume

Shellington: *throws sheet at Professor Inkling*

Professor Inkling: Ah, perfect!

─────────────────────

Tweak, playing a horror game: This isn't even scary! Shouldn't there be an enemy walking around?

Dashi, who recommend the game: Have you been to the basement yet?

Tweak:

Tweak: fuck

─────────────────────

Peso: OK, does anyone have any allergies? I want to make sure we have safe candy for tonight

Shellington: Sea Urchins, but I doubt they'd make candy with that

Kwazii: Peanuts

Tweak: People

Peso: Kwazii, Shellington, we have that covered, Tweak...

Peso: I fear you

─────────────────────

Peso: oh shIT-

*drops bandage rolls*

Peso:

Peso: well this is my costume now-

•─────✧─────•

Happy Halloween!!!

May I request some min/inkling incorrect quotes? (Can be romantic or platonic either one is fine :D)

Will do ^^

Sorry this took so long :')

•─────✦─────•

Min: I swear if I see one of them running off again without a plan, I'll make sure to mark their grave-

Inkling: I'll... I'll keep that in mind...

─────────────────────

Inkling: *is showing Min a very old map*

Min: Wait a moment, there's a path here and here that isn't documented, as well as-

Inkling: *look of pure love and adoration*

─────────────────────

Kwazii: *trying to explain current meme culture*

Inkling: So basically, I have to go searching for beans at 2am with friends?

Kwazii: Well no-

Inkling, already on the phone with Min: Min, I have a proposition to make.

─────────────────────

Min: Oh my stars. Do you know what this is?

Inkling: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library. My library specifically.

─────────────────────

Min, trying to text Inkling: O

Inkling: What?

Min: Don’t read into that. Please...

Inkling: I will read into that.

Min: How? It's just a letter. A single letter.

Inkling: Why is there a space after it, hmmmmm? There's meaning behind it!

Min: Really Professor? It's a letter, that's all.

Inkling: It could stand for something.

Min: I promise you that it stands for nothing.

Inkling: Like Oppression! Or worse,

Min: Professor, I accidentally hit the letter "O" and hit send.

Inkling: Optometrist.

Min looking up from her phone: • - •

─────────────────────

Inkling and Min: *having a joke argument*

Min: You know what? I'm going to prove that I'm correct with solid facts!

Inkling: I will too

Inkling: *grabs a book with the proper information*

Min: *pulls up Wikipedia and edits the article just to mess with Inkling*

─────────────────────

Min drawing out a map: I've connected the two dots-

Inkling looking over her shoulder: It seems you have.

Kwazii vibrating in the corner whispering the meme under the breath: hhhhhhhhhh

─────────────────────

Min: Help! I’m drowning!

Inkling: Calm down, we’re only in six feet of water!

Min: NOT ALL OF US ARE SEA CREATURES INKLING-

─────────────────────

Min: Good morning Professor!

Inkling, who hasn't slept in days: ... What?

─────────────────────

Inkling: You spent all our money on... this?

Min, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this. Trust me.

─────────────────────

Min: Are you busy?

Inkling: Yes.

Min: Cool, have a look at this if you may-

•─────✦─────•

I see these two as such a chaotic duo and I have no idea why. Super nice people, insanely smart, and while they have basic logic and common sense they would end up doing the stupidest things known to man.

Once again I'm sorry for this taking so long, my brain lowkey evaporated on me lol.

Request and such are still open ^^

Incorrect Octonauts Quotes but Captain Barnacles has no self preservation skills (as normal)

_________________________

Peso: Can you explain what happened?

Barnacles: No, I can not

Kwazii walking into the room: He swam into a swarm of jellyfish again

_________________________

Barnacles: *jumps off a cliff to save a lizard*

Peso: *instant panic* CAPTAIN!

Kwazii: Give him a few seconds...

Barnacles, holding a lizard: I'm back lol

Peso: please stop doing this-

_________________________

Barnacles: No worries, I've got this!

*swims into a bunch of sharks*

Shellington: Does this happen often?

Professor Inkling, who's worked with Barnacles from day one: Yes

_________________________

Barnacles covered in bruises: I can explain

Peso: Can you?

Barnacles:

Barnacles: Ok what had happened was-

_________________________

Kwazii: *crashes the Gup B again*

Barnacles: Kwazii! How could you be so reckless? Are you ok?

Kwazii: Captain you are literally on fire right now-

_________________________

Dashi: I've finally finished the video!

Tweak: What video?

Dashi: It's a compilation of all the times Captain has managed to get hurt. Nothing too bad, small things

Barnacles: *walking in with a squid wrapped around his helmet* hello

Dashi: damn it Captain-

_________________________

I'm running out of ideas so fast-

Incorrect Octonauts Quotes: Highschool/College Au

•─────✧─────•

Barnacles: Alright, just a quick review and I'll go to sleep!

*3 hours later*

Barnacles: Ok, one more time, then I'll go to sleep

*the next morning*

Tweak: Cap, did you get any sleep last night?

Barnacles, clearly sleep deprived: yes

─────────────────────

Shellington and Kwazii working on a project together

Shellington: Alright, here we should put the end results, and here should be a detailed analysis of the results and what they can mean

Kwazii, trying to flirt: And here you should put your number

Shellington, oblivious: Why would I put my phone number on our project?

─────────────────────

Peso: OK, to do proper chest compressions you need to keep pace of 100 - 120bpm

Kwazii: *starts singing "Dancing Queen"*

Peso: iT wOrKs BuT pLeAsE-

*see end of post for a surprise ^^*

─────────────────────

Tweak working on her final project: finished!

Dashi walking in: Nice! What did you make?

Tweak, sleep deprived: Yes

•─────✧─────•

*There are several songs that have the same BPM (100-120) to do chest compressions! A lot of the songs are pretty good, if not ironic ^^

Here are some ^^ (Spotify Playlist)

Tweak x Kwazii incorrect quotes? I love your blog btw!

Thank you so much ^^

(I [still] haven't seen Ring of Fire, so I'm going to swing blindly at the wind and hope I did something)

Now that I'm reading over all I've written, this is 99% chaos

•─────✦─────•

Tweak: I'm going to need a human skull, but you can't ask why

Kwazii: Aye, as long as you don't ask where I got them

Kwazii: *pulls out 3 well preserved human skulls*

Tweak: ò - ó

Tweak, grabbing one: This one, thanks

─────────────────────

Kwazii, standing over a volcano: WE EITHER DIE FREE, OR DIE TRYING!!!

Tweak, right next to him: ARE THOSE REALLY THE ONLY CHOICES!?

─────────────────────

Tweak: Does anyone here know a good vendor of brass knuckles? Profesional quality preferred

Barnacles: You say, the MOST concerning things sometimes...

Kwazii: Here

*hands Tweak high quality brass knuckles*

Tweak: Thanks!

Barnacles, in shock: ',:|

─────────────────────

Tweak: Why are you on fire?

Kwazii: No clue, but I'm vibing

─────────────────────

Tweak: We vegatarians love the environment!

Kwazii: How can you say you love the environment, when yOU KEEP EATING ALL OF THE PLANTS-

─────────────────────

Kwazii: You know, it's nice to be wanted ^^

*sirens sound in the distance*

Tweak, running into the room: NOT BY THE LAW-

─────────────────────

Tweak: Did you get the eggs?

Kwazii: I found something even better!

Tweak: Kwazii-

Kwazii: *holds up a chicken*

Kwazii: Her name is Pecky! Like Becky, but Peck!

Vegamals: *collective face palm*

─────────────────────

Kwazii: I'm in love with you

Tweak, covered in baking powder: We called off the prank war less than an hour ago??

Kwazii: Yeah I know

Tweak: o _ o

Tweak: Ah, ok, got it. Cool. Very cool. Nice. Yes. Um.... coolcoolcool-

Kwazii: >:)

─────────────────────

Kwazii: What are your three (3) best qualities?

Tweak: Smart, soft hair, and I can easily bench press you

──────────

Tweak: What are your three (3) best qualities?

Kwazii: Fast, cunning, and being a beacon of chaos 24/7

─────────────────────

Tweak: Screwdriver-

Kwazii: Screwdriver

Tweak: Wrench-

Kwazii: Wrench

Tweak: Lazer pointer-

Kwazii: Lazer poi...

Kwazii: Wait-

Tweak: *turns on the lazer pointer and points it to a nearby wall*

Kwazii: RED DOT-

─────────────────────

Kwazii, trying to flirt: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Tweak: Is your bed comfortable

Kwazii: Yes...?

Tweak: I'd sleep.

─────────────────────

Kwazii running towards Tweak: CATCH ME!!

Tweak, who's working on the gups: What-

Kwazii: *crashes into Tweak and lands both of them in the water*

─────────────────────

Tweak: Is something burning?

Kwazii: Just my love for you

Tweak, looking behind Kwazii: Nope, that palm tree is on fire

─────────────────────

Tweak: I owe you one

Kwazii: 7pm, under the stars. It's a date >:)

•─────✦─────•

Requests are still open ^^

I'm also working on the rules and general stuff for asks/request + introduction

Incorrect Octonauts Quotes but I downloaded the Tumblr app to my phone and I'm trying to figure it out

•─────✧─────•

Peso: As you can see on this X-ray, this is how a tail should normally look

*shows an image of a tail with no breaks*

Peso: This, is how your tail looks

*shows an image of Kwazii's tail, which has been broken several times over and healed wrong*

Kwazii: I don't see the concern-

Peso: THERE IS ALL THE CONCERN-

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Alright, this is an easy mission, get on the island, get the creature to safety, get out. Easy

The universe: Haahaa get screwed

*makes everything insanely difficult*

Barnacles:

Barnacles: damnit

─────────────────────

Shellington: *eating seaweed*

Kwazii: What ya eating there?

Shellington, who's brain is running on autopilot: your mom

Kwazii: *fear and shock*

Tweak from across the hall: YES!!!

─────────────────────

Dashi: Alright, the discord server is finished, and I have all the roles set!

Barnacles: Thank you Dashi :)

Shellington: Dashi, quick question...

Dashi already knowing what he's going to ask: Yes?

Shellington: why is one of my roles "the one everyone sees as 'uwu baby, but is a feral gremlin'"?

─────────────────────

Professor Inkling: Alright, so as you can see, this book are organized by color, the information they hold, and their title in alphabetical order

Dashi, who is color blind and doesn't have her contacts in: Got it!

Kwazii, who struggles with dyslexia and has to say the entire alphabet to know what comes next: Definitely...

Shellington, who has been zoned out for the past few hours: Yeh-

─────────────────────

Tweak, modifying Shellington helmet: Alright, finished!

Shellington putting the helmet collar around his neck: Amazing! So, what did you do?

Tweak: I just reinforced the glass/plastic and added some support

Shellington: Oh, why did you do that?

Tweak: Well...

[Flashback to a few hours ago]

Peso: *having a panic attack*

Tweak: Peso! What happened?

Peso: SHELLINGTON MANAGED TO CRACK HIS HELMET AGAIN UNDERWATER AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS I THINK HE CRASHED THE GUP AGAIN BUT I DON'T KNOW AND-

[Flashback over]

Tweak: Uh, yeah, I just wanted to...

─────────────────────

Kwazii: I am going to put all of these marbles in my pocket, and then leave one in each room, just to confuse everyone

•─────✧─────•

My reach has tanked so much and idk what to do-

Ask are still open, and I'll be posting the rules + pinning them some point soon ^^

Might I request baranacles x kwazii headcanons If they havent been done yet?

Sure thing!!

Also: I'm happy to do requests of characters I've done before!! Same for any headcanons and/or scenarios ^^

[I apologize if some quotes repeat for different characters, some work for several ^^;]

** = tw for that quote

Pink boarder = NSFW

Cw/Tw for mention of drugs in one quote and implied NSFW (minor/small amount)

•─────✦─────•

Barnacles walking into the kitchen and seeing all of their pineapples* peeled: Kwazii, what in the ever loving H-E-L-L?

Kwazii, drinking water as he didn't spend hours peeling pineapples: Morning! :3

─────────────────────

Kwazii: Alright, I'm going to pick up the wedding cake

Barnacles: Perfect, while you do that I'll go talk to the ring bear

Kwazii: Ay-

Kwazii: Wait-

Kwazii: You mean ring bearER, right??

Barnacles: Ummm...

Orson and Ursa in the other room: OwO

─────────────────────

Kwazii: So, I heard you like cats?

Barnacles: Why yes, I do!

Kwazii: *calmly twists their body in a way only cats can*

Barnacles, scared and shocked: *aggressively sounds octo alert*

Barnacles: Peso...

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Danger never rests, we must remain vigilant

Kawaii: You haven't slept in almost a week please-

─────────────────────

Kwazii and Barnacles during The Carrier Crab + Sea Urchin episode:

Barnacles: Well, this is getting both embarrassing and concerning...

Kwazii: GETTING? It's been since we answered the door!

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Kwazii, isn't this a bit... too dangerous??

Kwazii: Captain, please! We've been in TONS of unexpected and dangerous predicaments before! And we've always managed to get away without a scratch!

Barnacles: ...

Kwazii: Sometimes. Sometimes we get away without a scratch...

Barnacles: ',:/

Kwazii: ...

Kwazii: Ok, once... and the gup crashed on the way back...

─────────────────────

Kwazii: Here's a fun fact! There's a company that turns dead bodies into ocean reefs!

Barnacles:

─────────────────────

Kwazii and Barnacles on an Island with a volcano

Barnacles: It's very hot on this island, and there are no signs of wild life either...

Kwazii: I know! It's so hot that the mountain over there is smoking and melting!

Barnacles looking up at the "mountain:: *sees smoke and lava*

Barnacles: I don't know how you manage this-

Kwazii: Manage what?

Barnacles, already sounding an octo alert: That's a volcano Kwazii...

─────────────────────

Kwazii: Pardon the disturbance Captain-

Barnacles: You're laying on my desk-

─────────────────────

Barnacles: You got arrested for stealing a parrot?

Kawaii: It looked like Pete...

─────────────────────

Barnacles, swimming out of a deep hole: Hello Kwazii

Kwazii, in shock: You died?? Your oxygen ran out!!! I SAW YOU DIE-

Barnacles, calm as ever: Death is an illusion, now let's get back to the gup, my air tank is almost empty...

─────────────────────

**

Barnacles: What are amphetamines again?

Kwazii: Drugs that can go on land and water

Barnacles: No...

─────────────────────

Kwazii when they first joined the Octonauts: While I don't know much about you, I'm confident that you put yourself in danger a lot more than you should...

Barnacles: I...

Tweak from the other room: YOU'RE CORRECT!!

─────────────────────

Barnacles: I'm about to do something stupid...

Kwazii: Me?

─────────────────────

Barnacles: *cracks his knuckles*

Kwazii: Hey, check this out!

Kwazii: *folds*

Barnacles: Wha-

─────────────────────

Kwazii: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus

Barnacles: WHERE do you keep getting these facts?

Kawaii: Shellington :)

•─────✦─────•

*I asked ppl for a random fruit and one said Pineapple

Sorry for this taking so long ^^ Schools been beating my ass lol

Requests are still open ^^

Guess who's back from the dead

•─────✧─────•

Barnacles: So... explain to me what happened?

Kwazii, hat on fire: No...

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Are you alright?

Peso: Short answer or long answer?

Barnacles, concerned: Short?

Peso: No.

Barnacles, very concerned: Long?

Peso: Nooooooo. Definitely not.

─────────────────────

Shellington: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Kwazii: AS ENEMIES?!

Shellington: facepalm

─────────────────────

Professor Inkling, reading a recipe: Beat three eggs?

Kwazii: It means in hand-to-hand combat.

Professor Inkling: Oh... erm...?

Vegimals, all of them: Get out.

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Alright Shellington, Kwazii. Let's go over this one more time.

Barnacles: If something breaks?

Shellington: We try to fix it before Tweak gets home.

Barnacles: And if that doesn't work?

Kwazii: We blame Peso.

Peso: Seriously!?

Barnacles: No.

─────────────────────

Tweak: My hands are cold.

Dashi: Here, let me hold them.

Tweak: My lips are cold too.

Dashi: covers Tweak's mouth with their hand

─────────────────────

Dashi: Let’s not Kwazii this into a worse situation than it already is.

Kwazii: Did you just use my name as a verb?

─────────────────────

Kwazii: This date is boring!

Shellington: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Kwazii: Then why did you invite me?

Shellington: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Shellington I'll do whatever I want!

─────────────────────

Professor Inkling: Did you study for the marine biology test?

Kwazii: Of course I did! Listen: fish are remarkably well adapted to water. What’s more, they can swim.

Professor Inkling: sighs with exhaustion only achievable by an elderly man who has dealt with too much can achieve

─────────────────────

Shellington: We should be partners.

Kwazii: You mean like, partners in crime?

Shellington: Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.

─────────────────────

Barnacles: Does everyone know their job for today?

Professor Inkling: Water the flowers.

Tweak: Vacuum the carpet.

Dashi: Wash the dishes.

Kwazii: Pretend to be a wolverine.

Barnacles: Close enough.

•─────✧─────•

Dances

Incorrect Octonauts Quotes

•─────✧─────•

Kwazii: You can de-escalate anything by saying "are we about to kiss"

Kwazii: But not crashing the gup

Kwazii: That will get a wrench thrown at you

─────────────────────

Barnacles: We have to appreciate the smaller things in life

Dashi, in tears: I love and appreciate you Peso

Peso: What

─────────────────────

Professor Inkling: *sounds Octoalert*

Barnacles: Is everything ok Professor?

Professor Inkling: Yes, but I found our next mission

Kwazii: Is it a new monster to hunt!?

Dashi: New creatures to photograph?

Shellington: Something new to study?

Professor Inkling: No.

Professor Inkling: Therapy.

─────────────────────

Tweak, trying to bake a cake: Just add some of sugar, mix, and it's good to bake!

*2 hours later*

Tweak: I made this cake for you ^^

Dashi: Aww, thanks!

Dashi:

Dashi: why is it salty-

─────────────────────

Kwazii: I have a new kid

Barnacles: another turtle or dolphin?

Kwazii: no

Kwazii: *holds up a large raccoon*

Kwazii: his name is Patchy

Barnacles: why do you keep doing this?

─────────────────────

Peso: What are you listening to?

Dashi: Here, listen!

Peso:

Peso: What is this?

Dashi: no clue

(She was listening to glitchcore)

•─────✧─────•

Headcanon that Kwazii will randomly bring back baby animals because they follow them

Also that Tweak struggles to tell salt and sugar apart, even if they are in different containers (like one is a duck and the other is a mouse)