Thinking Too Much On An Early Night - Blog Posts

im....so tired.....of everything

We don't talk anymore, but sometimes I glace at you from afar. I wonder how you are doing, how you are holding up. Have you moved on better than I did?

I hope that you are doing fine, with friends and family holding you up, even though I'm not there anymore. But that's ok, because the small time we spent together, I enjoyed ever second if it.

And so, thank you, for being my friend, even though it ended much shorter than we both may have liked. But it's the memories that we mafe together is what counts.

Right?

thank your for showing me kindness when i never deserved it

i need to learn how to aplogize better. I don't mean "sorry i'm a little shit"

I mean deep from the heart, explaining what I did was wrong and hurtful to you, to them, and that it was horrible to do so

i wish i can apologize for everything i've done, because i never learned how to

i've learned that the actions you take can be harmless to you, but harmful to others

i've learned that some mistakes you make, you can't, and won't, be able to fix

i've learned that the friends you have now, won't always be there later

and i've learned, that the actions i've taken, will always hurt someone, no matter how small

therapy needed? check

dumbass thot in your veins? check

idiot brain installed at 98%? check

lowkey kinda wanna die

sometimes, being mute is so much better than being deaf

If you do move to alaska, there will be absolutely nothing there for you. just utter darkness, and danger all around. but at least you won't be hurting anyone anymore because your dumbasss doesn't know how to be a good person

god you really are a true fuck up!!!!!

when you fuck up so much, there's no taking it back

and sometimes, an apology just won't ever be enough, no matter how big you make it to be

family isn't always everything. The family that you were born into aren't going to be there, and they don't care about you, only what's good for them in their point of view

i hate hurting ppl unintentionally

I've decided to say fuck what everyone says about me getting a puppy

sure, it may be a hard process, but I feel like I'll have more fun and more memories of raising it than I would adopting an adult dog, and over time, I might get a ferret

I've always wanted a puppy (I've looked into German Shepard and Huskies, but due to the Virginia climate we're in, I'm undecided for a huskie even though three ppl in the neighborhood have Huskies) and name it Spade and the other puppy would be Zero(??)

It'll be a while before I get them tho, because I haven't gotten my job yet and work out my hours. I was told puppies aren't worth the time and energy and ?????

I've learned that doing what people tell me to do just to make them happy, not only makes me miserable, but it makes me feel like a slave, and this is the year that I won't go for bullshit anymore

am i making a horrible decision with my life?????

No