Tf2 Freaks - Blog Posts

Freak fortress fans, what’s a opinion or headcanon or even a ship you have that’ll you like this?

If Christian brutal sniper and Christian spy had a kid (like adoption or freak magic idk and idc), would the kid be like Christian neutral spy or like Christian neutral sniper??? Or atheist neutral scout????

ANSWERS PEOPLE!

Despite all the other things I wanna keep writing, Medizard and Cakehole are now my top priority.

HEY! I wanna make a Fanfic of Medizard and Cakehole Piss, please PLEASE give some me ideas!!!!😫

A little something I drew since I’m kinda getting tired of only seeing ONE freak (ahem CPS x CBS) fortress ship. Anyways tho I present you even tho they never met…

Cakehole piss and Medizard going on a date.

Christian Brutal sniper, Piss cakehole, Cakehole piss, Weaselcake and Gravy guitar man in a boy band named “Backfreak Boys” And they just make covers of Backstreet Boys.

Piss cakehole and Cakehole Piss summed up.

Idk if this something I noticed or it’s because I treat all the sniper freaks like my children but iv seen a pattern where snipers are literally minding their own business and then out of nowhere they either kidnapped, tortured, killed then resurrected or literally all of above. Like what did Weaselcake and Cyborsniper do to you guys before they were freaks like chill you guys💀.

Freak fortress is that one relative you really like at a family reunion that you see once every few years. Like you have one night of just hanging out and talking and then the next day you never see them again until next reunion or your family goes and visits them.

I had a dream where I was sitting in a living with Christian brutal sniper and toy story was playing and all he said was “This sucks” and just left the room. Like there was no context as what, why, how, where we got here in that moment.

Hello LGBFreak community, may I present you a new ship possibility?

I never posted this but me kicking CBS down the stairs (he deserves it)

Since I see a lot of CBS headcanons, I decided '"Yk what? I'm gonna make myself some piss cakehole/cakehole piss headcanons because they need some love (I mean love I mean the 4 people that like these characters sitting in the back row) THIS IS SUPER LONG BTW BECAUSE THESE 2 BRAIN ROT ME EVERYDAY!!!!

Piss cakehole

•Despite being a absolutely menace to society murder, he’s very anti social. Like very anti going out with other freak friends (if he has any) or parties. Occasionally he’ll go to a friends place but that’s it. Kill. Sleep.Live.

•he actually Shockingly has a job, it’s Dairy Queen. He works night shifts because no one there wants be to around him but he doesn’t as long as someone doesn’t make him upset.

•He has curly hair you can’t fight me on it and he puts it in a curly man bun. (Bonus for salt and pepper hair)

•him and Cakehole are so identical, sometimes when their in good moods switch their outfits and pretend to be each other to pull pranks.

•Him and cakehole are actually the second oldest sniper freaks since being twins (around late 30’s. He’s mad at cakehole because he doesn’t age as much as him)

•He actually does care for cakehole and thinks as him as him as “his little brother” (their twins Ik but cakehole acts younger) but he finds annoying him around and often irritates him too the point he just wants to yank him. Cakehole is very aware and is on house arrest for that.

•he’s a stoner gay. Like hippie Artist gay. I’m talking 70’s belle bottoms and arched back. A feminine posing man. I’m talking cross dressing will wood. “I wanna be the f*cked up girl” From Ride the cyclone type gender. He/they type magic happening. He is gender.

•Hes also got LITTLE FRECKLES and a buck teeth? (Tooth?) like me because he’s my bgg

Source: I said so.

Cakehole piss

•Unlike his counter part, he’s very social and actually really funny around other freaks. He just needs to warm up or not being a murdering mood (he’s also kind of a loud person and has a higher pitched voice)

•He’s 89% percent high most of the time and smells like the strongest weed ever. Other percent is him being clueless.

•He’s on the spectrum. I say that as In like “he’s so me fr” kind of spectrum. He info dumps to demo samedi ALL The time but he doesn’t care. He likes blue things and things that sparkle. Or legos. Legos make him stim like me fr

Source on the spectrum: Me and all the other autistic freak fortress fans. He’s one of us now.

•He sees the undead stoner scouts as his older brothers and Demo Samedi as his father figure. (Idk because he’s a creation to him) and sometimes calls him “Master Samedi” instead of Demo Samedi in a sense of being being his creator.

•(this is actually canon) He doesn’t like water AT ALL. Refuses to go unless he needs to shower. Otherwise it would take him a whole team just to throw him in.

•He has dyed short curly hair and like multiple piercings like his ear and mouth. He also tends to wear baggy clothing and pajamas actually despite his normal uniform.

•Him and Piss are both Latinos/natives 🫶 (mixed parents fight me all you want). Piss‘s parents don’t call him by his “name” and call him instead “pequeña mariposa” (little butterfly in Spanish sorry If it’s not accurate, I can only speak little Lakota and more English ) they very much welcomed Cakehole into the family and treat him like a son

That’s all I have and also I’m making a short story on these 2 about most of these headcanons. If you don’t like these just remember that these are headcanons so don’t be rude about it. Ok stay groovy you guys 🫶💗

Genuine question and I'm not forcing you to write anything!

Would you ever do a Reader x for painis or cakehole piss?

A/n: I will do it for Cakehole Piss. I know a little more about him.

Never Tiresome (Cakehole Piss x Reader) One Shot

I was home after a stressful day thanks to work. All I wanted to do was get a soda from the fridge and prop my feet up. I felt something was missing from that list. Maybe I forgot to get food? No, I had plenty in the fridge. Whatever it was, it would come back to me later.  I unlocked the door and stepped through some streamers. I was going to let this be and pick it up later. My feet crunched under the decorations. I shuffled my feet all the way into the kitchen. The surprise inside scared me. 

“HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KITCHEN!” I yelled, entering the messy room. My feet squelched under the mush. The entire kitchen was covered in yellow goo that dripped down from the walls and ceiling. Someone had left a cake in the oven too long and the batter burst. I’ve only seen that in the movies. It would take time to clean this all up. The oven was busted. I’d have to get a new one sometime this week. Cakehole Piss popped his head in. He was a good friend of mine, even though he killed people and came home smelling like blood. He usually cleaned up before entering the house since the smell irritated me. I let him stay at my place while he hid from his counterpart for a while, but he was welcome to come over any time. 

“Oh, that’s my fault,” he said. “Oi left it in there too long.” I didn’t want to be angry with him. He. . . wasn’t exactly the brightest. Some people asked if it was tiresome being around him all the time. I said no. Sure he had tried to carve his creator in the past, but that didn’t really bother me. I also didn’t ask what that was about.

“What were you trying to make?” I calmly asked, grabbing disinfectant wipes. I got down on my knees and started cleaning up the mess. Cakehole rocked back and forth on his toes. That usually meant he was up to something. It could’ve been something good or something bad. Most of the time I was right about it being something bad. Last time he rocked back and forth on his toes, I ended up getting chased by Piss Cakehole.

“Uh. Oi was trying to make something,” he hesitantly answered. I raised an eyebrow. Cakehole’s face turned bright red and he looked away.

“Okay,” I said. “I believe you.” Of course I didn’t really believe him. But I was going to let him think I did. I was going to get to the bottom of this mystery. He left the room and I finished cleaning it up. I heard the T.V turn on followed by some boxes crashing. “Hey! What happened?” I called out, rushing out the door. A few boxes had indeed fallen out of the hallway closet. It was Cakehole. Again. He was rushing to hide some boxes and stuff the other ones back in. I eyed the colorful box behind Cakehole. “What’s that?” I asked, pointing to the box. He put on a shy smile.

“Nothing,” he answered. “Well, nothing important.” I bit my lip and crossed my arms. Cakehole looked nervously at me. “Y/n, do you think Oi’m tiresome?” he asked suddenly. My heart stopped. Not once, in the time we’ve known each other, did he ever ask me that. What sparked it? Was it that I gave off an annoyed, angry vibe? Of course it was that I gave off that vibe. “It’s foine if you wanna kick me out, Oi don’t mind.”

“Cakehole, what’s wrong?” I asked gently. He sighed and pulled the box from behind him. 

“Oi was hoping to save this for later,” he said. It was a (favorite color) wrapped box with rainbow polka dots. There was a tag that read “Happy Birthday,” written in messy handwriting. My heart dropped as I sighed. It made sense now. The streamers and decorations at the front, the cake batter, the presents he was trying to hide. It was my birthday and he was trying to celebrate. But I was cranky and annoyed to notice. This is what I had forgotten. I put on a smile. 

“Cakehole, you will never, ever be tiresome,” I said. “Yeah, there will be days when I seem annoyed. It’s not because of you. Life can be a jerk sometimes. And if you do happen to make me mad,  I would never kick you out.” 

“So, you’re not gonna kick me out?” Cakehole asked. 

“I’d never,” I said, opening my arms wide for a hug. He smiled and hugged me. “So, want some cake? We can’t have a celebration without one?”

*>/<*

I sat at the table as Cakehole brought out a newly baked cake. We improvised by using a blow torch to bake the cake. It worked. I offered to help, but Cakehole wanted to add frosting to the cake by himself. He even added round sprinkles. 

“Happy birthday,” he said with a smile. Just as he was about to put the cake down on the table, it slid off the tray and onto the floor. It fell with a splat. “Oops.” I chuckled softly.

“It’s fine,” I said. “Can’t make a cake without breaking a few eggs.” We ended up ordering a cake from the local bakery. We ate it all and cuddled on the couch with our full stomachs. It was a good birthday.

CBS and CPS portrayed in my mind

I’m rereading CPS x CBS on Aoi and I’m not sure if you guys are ok. Do you guys need help or something????

been seeing christianmingle or just purebrutal used as a name for CPS x CBS… but I raise you this; Holy Bloodshed

HEY YOU!

YEA YOU!

I NEED YOUR HELP!

So you remember that silly little story I was asking about with CBS becoming a silly little merman? Okay cool but I need your help and I want as many people in on this! Ok? Ok!

“But Funky? What are we supposed to do?”

Simple! For those who want to even do this and also I just wanna see how cool it would be for you guys to design a CBS version of him as a Mermaid/siren.

“Well how do we get in on this?”

You don’t have to do it! It’s up to you if you wanna but your getting a whole series of your favorite emo freak being a siren so that’s cool! Also if your design wins, your art will be on the cover! Also please but “CBS design” in the tags so I can see the others pictures a well

“Win! Well how I do get in?”

All you have to is @ me! You just give a simple description of your concept and we’ll go from there! There be 3 top winners but most liked will like I said, be on the digital cover!

“When do I do this?”

Chapter 2 is coming in and CBS doesn’t come in until chapter 3 so February 6-18 is when you can submit a design!

“But Funky! What about the other covers!”

If you don’t win that’s ok! Yours will still have. A Chance the next few covers for the series! ‼️THIS IS JUST FOR FUN PLEASE DONT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY‼️

Well that’s all I got but chapter 2 is in progress and a blog is coming so keep your eyes for that!

See you at the beach, or not…… MUHAHAHHAA!

What if a made a fanfic of CBS being transformed into like a mermaid siren or whatever and CPS finds that hot like that wasn’t weird and unsettling.

I know I said was sick but I couldn’t help myself to finish this silly doodle, these 2 have been rotting my brain for the past 2 weeks. They are so in love I cannot explain it to you.

They don’t take each other very seriously

Yes that’s CBS wearing goggly eyes.

I’m working on a huge Tf2 Freak fortress story project rn so In the mean time take a quick Sketch of these 2 Christian men on their honeymoon/j

Had a dream last night that HECU made Piss cakehole and Christian Brutal Sniper work together and sent them on like a big cruise (idk what for???) and they had to take down a big leader… it was so wacky and turns out Cakehole Piss was like the captain and Polite spy was like a janitor that was just like there…. It was so wacky?????

Watching a new tf2 freak video come out is like eating at a 5 star dinner.

I’m so heavily convinced that Christian brutal sniper has a New York accent or sounds like those stereotypical Old mafia boss leader who just says “Sweetheart” of some kind and waves this big cigars around so he looks cooler.

I’m hopping on the Chopper trend but it’s Christian Emo discord sniper 👍

Hello there! As someone who has a little attention span, your stories were really fun to read (especially pure literally being Leon from the resident evil series and seeing him and brutal being super smashed bros across the room was super funny lowkey), your Freak fortress story fun fact, got me through Covid so yea! As much I don’t read, reading yours are really great and as a young freak fortress fan and beginner writer, I look up your work a lot so keep going and stay funky!

Y'know, sometimes I wonder if I've accomplished anything with this blog

My Freaks and the stories I made with them used to get some kind of engagement from my followers. It wasn't a lot, but it was there and I appreciated it for what it was. The original draft of TDCoGM didn't get much traction, but I enjoyed the few people who took the time to read it.

But now, I could post the finale to AF right now and it would be met with crickets.

Idk, I've just been feeling really unmotivated as of late. It feels like "Why am I putting so much effort into this story when no one seems to care?"