Your personal Tumblr journey starts here
The stinging nettle (Urtica dioica): A bee sting in plant form. Both give you acidic stings, but whilst a bee will die after a single sting, the nettle holds no such melodrama. Importantly, the underside of the nettle has no stinging needles - using this, a nettle leaf can be folded and eaten. Quite delicious, but like oysters, it is best to only chew them just enough to experience the flavour. Unlike oysters, it is an established tea.
The dock leaf (Rumex obtusifolius): The apologetic, unassuming, elder sibling of our funny little trio. Never too far behind the stinging nettle, growing in the same habitat, it is a welcome gift for the unlucky or unwary. Simply crushing it's flat, broad leaf, arranged in small clumps, low to the ground, and rubbing the remains on the sting will greatly ease the pain. Unfortunately, as some kind of earthy punishment for irresponsible agricultural practices, or maybe it's simply prone to seasickness, it did not accompany the stinging nettle on its torment to Australia.
(Important note: it is NOT a certified doctor, and, in fact, does not hold any kind of medical certificate or degree).
The dead nettle (Lamium purpureum): Surprisingly, edible, and harmless enough. It's pretty pink-ish-purple flowers will ruin its disguise in certain seasons, along with its ever-present diminutive size. The dead nettle relies on the terrifying reputation of the stinging nettle to warn away anyone and anything. Yet, it you touch one, you will find no sting. Like if the spirit of the plant it pretends to be manifests in that sting, it finds itself lacking something it will never achieve. However, for the dead nettle, once that sting is proven absent, it's likely already dead - possibly uprooted for its uncanny skill of growing in driveways.