I Dont Even Know What To Say - Blog Posts

bro can we talk about all the absolutely CRAZY shit that happens in dob and rtte??? like hiccup getting struck by fucking lightning??? snotlout getting struck like 50 billion times??? hiccup getting kidnapped, absolutely beat up by all the villains, almost drowning, astrid going blind, ALSO almost drowning- I could go ON-

and yet its all made light-hearted, turned into a joke or just not taken at its severity cuz its a show for like 8 year olds

like what the FUCK do you MEAN astrid almost DIES FROM POISION and its NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN?!?!?!

Bruce Wayne doesn’t swear. The man raises so many kids and is trying to set some sort of example, and still lives with his very polite butler guardian who would most certainly scold him every time he swore in front of the children. He also doesn’t use substitutes cause that’s too goofy, every time Bruce wants to swear he instead just stares intensely into the middle distance

I know you’ve probably seen this but it’s still funny

I have no idea how someone could be as ignorant as you are being right now. You have a myriad of resources to find that anti-Muslim sentiment is why this genocide is permiating, and yet you choose to live in your hateful ignorance. It is pointless to argue and thoroughly explain to you the suffering of people when you seldom see them as people, so I am truly wasting no more energy on you.

If you want to talk about anti-gay sentiments in religion, I can tell you right now that damn near every religion revolving around Jesus of Nazareth is conservative at heart. As for anti-gay murders-- every single one of those deaths are done by terrorist groups NOT affiliated with Palestine or any major Muslim denomination!

And I am sorry-- are you, as someone from Russia, telling me how brutal other people's cultures are to gay people? Your government is majorly Orthodox Christian. Under that same religion, they have committed various crimes of gay purging in Chechnya where thousands of people have been brutally tortured and killed, all for the sake of God and sanctity! Will you condemn Christians for this? Will you condemn Christianity for the rise of nationalism and fascism?

Вы не человек веры, вы просто человек, охваченный чувством вины, который использует прекрасную веру, чтобы замаскировать свою уродливую, пагубную ненависть, и поверьте мне, это приведет к вашей собственной гибели.

Children are being killed by Isr*el but ok. There's video evidence everywhere but ok.

Also Palestinian jews exist too, and actual H*locaust survivors are protesting what Isr*el is doing to the Palestinians.

Didn't know saying "Killing innocent civilians, especially children, is horrible and there should be permanent ceasefire" was so controversial but ok.

😭😭😭

for the requests: 24 but like,, the opposite?? do whatever you want but also have this embarrassing story of mine for free because i have LIVED this and it is HORRIBLE!! I don’t know what was going through my mind but it was my friends bday and she went to give me a fist bump but instead of returning it I just grabbed her fist with my hand (scissors beats rock style) and we both stood there in silence for a moment staring at our hands until I turned it into a sort of handshake when I just started to shake where I had her fist gripped in my own hand up and down for a solid 10 seconds

24. "confusing a handshake for a fist bump" - but the opposite lmao

minyard-josten rivalry, y'all know where it's at

so these two dumbasses keep their relationship a secret from everyone, including their managers and PR team

anyways, i imagine that there's some sort of pre-game interview happening, to create some hype for the shitshow that's going to be a minyard v josten game

the problem is... no one knows how to predict their moves

andrew's PR team tells him to be professional — maybe shake neil's hand instead of ignoring it like how he always does

neil's PR team tells him to do something more casual, to reduce the animosity he's such a natural at creating

you can probably see where this is going...

so. andrew, neil, and few people from each of their teams come out in front of the cameras

the teammates + managers on the sides are just staring very intently at andrew and neil

neil sighs and shoves out his hand for a first bump with his boyfriend of very many years

andrew however. look, he hasn't seen neil in weeks and he the cats miss him and give andrew lots of sad meows and really seeing neil is a relief so his children not his children, his CATS, can stop being so upset

basically, he has a bit of a gay panic while looking at neil — the shape of his face, his eyes, his hair (good lord, that needed to be cut three years ago)

and so when neil puts out his hand in greeting, andrew really can't be blamed for being distracted!

he slams his fingers into neil's fist.

they stare at each other for a few moments as the only sound is cameras flashing. slowly, andrew curls his fingers just as neil straightens out his fist bump.

neil's hand now gets stuck in andrew's fist.

andrew blinks at their joined hands, promptly lets go of neil's fingers, and turns around to walk away. his teammates try to grab onto him to bring him back but like honestly most of them are laughing too hard to do anything

so the game continues as usual (with a little bit of teasing towards neil and andrew by their teammates)

and at the end of the game during the handshakes, one of the announcers says "minyard! josten! maybe figure out if it's handshake or fist bump beforehand this time!"

andrew internally flips off the cameras

(it's only not external because he knows aaron's kids are watching the game tonight and he is determined to be the more mature uncle out of him and neil)

so instead of making a fool of himself again, andrew decides to just nod at neil and walk away

no sooner than a second later though, he feels a bonk on his head. neil just bonked him. on the head. in front of millions of people.

he has to salvage his reputation so he puts his hands up in a threatening gesture and says something menacingly, but no one in the audience can hear what he says

all they see is andrew looking scary and neil... doubled over laughing

instantly, there are whispers going around the stadium about what happened, so neil's coach is like 'nah we aren't letting this kid do the pre and post-game interviews' — andrew had accounted for this in his attempt to rebuild his persona

so they try to sneak neil out the back, but what andrew hadn't accounted for was a sneaky reporter who catches sight of neil and asks loudly "what was andrew minyard saying to you on the court?"

neil smirks and draws up to his full height (which frankly, is still tiny enough for andrew to give kisses without too much strain. it was the ideal height gap, if anyone asked him. not that anyone was asking him this)

"well," neil said. "he said rock" — neil makes a fist bump — "paper" — he extends an arm out for a handshake — "and then... " — neil makes a scissor symbol — "snip snip motherfucker. we're cutting your hair when we get home."

"wait, you two live together— "