Everyone Needs To Read This - Blog Posts

Jimin’s log 180413 & my tears.

 ‘For the first time since becoming an adult, debut, and after debuting, I became curious about myself, came to have more thoughts. And as I went through this, I felt quite often that I was lonely. ‘

‘I’m not really the type to lean on one’s shoulders, nor do I know how to do it well, and that I’m worse at leaning on than listening to. The only people I believed I could confide in were going through a hard time as well so it was a situation where I wasn’t sure what to do.’

‘ When we came back to Korea, I looked up a lot of OUR videos. Our music, our music videos, our performance videos, our photos. And while looking through these, I came to a video of us performing YOUNG FOREVER. We were performing this song at a concert. But the video wasn’t of US performing, it had captured the scene of our fans, singing the song. At that time, we weren’t singing and only the fans were. It kind of felt as if…something hit me hard on the head. I had the thought: “WHY was I forgetting this!?”. Then, with this thought, I wanted to comeback sooner, do our concerts, meet, see, and be together with the fans in one place, sing together. I had these thoughts a lot.’

Excuse me while I sob. 

Do y’all realise how hard it is to make a log about your suffering and having the courage to post it when he knows how his words are always taken out of proportion and messed with. Knowing how the internet hasn’t left one aspect of his personality that they haven’t shamed? He still posted this talking not just about how he was struggling but of how they all were struggling as a team and the reason he couldn’t lean on his brothers was because he knew that they were in crises too. Honestly, If that ain’t the most Jimin thing Jimin has ever said. 

He is the one who listens to everyone’s concerns to the point where all the members have said, time and time again that Jimin is the member they need the most to share their anxieties with. Y’all love to portray Jimin as some damsel in distress who needs protecting but y’all forget just how fucking strong this man is emotionally. He doesn’t only shoulder everyone in Bangtan; he does that while shouldering his own suffering too and if that doesn’t make you respect him, I don’t think I have anymore to say to you.

The fact that we, as armys solved his existential crises for however small a period of time it was; I’m honestly fucking flattered. The fact that watching OUR videos made him say “They’re my reason.” All this time when some armys were busy hating every aspect of his existence, he took ours and made it his own.

I just really fucking adore how this man smiles in the face of adversity and says with his whole chest, nevermind.

From being the trainee with the shortest training period and still landing main dancer and lead vocalist, To people body shaming him only to get blood sweat and tears thrown into their faces. To people questioning his dancing only for him to be recognized as main dancer by the Korean president. To Jimin being the least popular member to literally winning the most loved idol in South Korea 18′ ;  He has proven every single time that his anxieties and his flaws maybe a part of him but it’s not something that’ll ever, ever stop him for winning at life.

I’ve said this time and time again and I’ll say this today too; Park Jimin is one strong motherfucker, inside out. Don’t mistake his sensitivity for being weak; He’ll deck you while he’s crying bitch. 

Honestly though, I couldn’t be any more prouder of this boy than I am today. This is Park Jimin y’all; This dude right here, set out to make a song about his suffering and pain and eventually turned it into a promise of how that same suffering and pain will never get the best of him. 

Fuck this, I’m in love.

translation cr: @cafe_army 

You also have to take in everything that Osiris has gone through as well, losing almost all of the Iron Lords, losing Saint, almost became wrathborn, lost Sagira and his light bc of it and then got possessed by Savathun, and as far as we know (or I know, i could full well be missing some lore), Osiris has never fully processed any of it and just shoved down all his grief.

Every day I fight battles for Osiris's honor. Every single time he's a relevant character being his Messy and Brash self people take it personally. Every time I think it'll be different.

Anyways

I really liked Osiris's characterization in Lightfall, it felt more true to how he is as a character than he was in Seraph. However I'm already seeing people being Weird about him. On one hand, I understand he isn't for everyone, not everyone has to like him as he's a very difficult man (which is exactly why I like him.) However there's a difference between just... Disliking a character and egregiously misreading and misinterpreting one.

Two major points I've seen talked about already, ad infinitum, that I feel I have to give you a better perspective of: the urgency of which he acts, and his unhealthy training techniques. (And to a lesser point the claim that he's been over exaggerated which spoilers: he's always been like this.)

His urgency

(or as so many of you claim, that he's yelling at us the entire time.)

I feel like someone having to walk a baby through how to use building blocks it's THIS dire.

THE THEME OF LIGHTFALL IS GRIEF. It's grief and finding a way to accept that grief, not push it down or block it, not fight it every step of the way, but rather let it flow through you and allow it.

Osiris's arc throughout Lightfall is grappling with this: he's not had the TIME to process his grief, both over Sagira and over the loss of his Light. He feels inadequate because there's never been a time where he hasn't been able to act himself.

Osiris outright states in the campaign that he always used his grief as something to push him forward, as a means to fix it, like he did with Saint. But he can't do that now and it frustrates him. He pushes us because it's a reflection of himself, he's beyond frustrated with the fact that he can't do this himself, that he has to rely upon others when he's been self reliant for hundreds of years.

Not only that but he's ALWAYS been a very no-nonsense kind of guy, it used to be that he had Sagira to balance out his social awkwardness, but since she isn't here to often speak For him he's been struggling to interact with others. Sagira acted as a median, now that she's gone he's had to go it alone, you can't blame him for his bluntness.

Now... the yelling scene... I don't know why but everyone seems to be taking this one really really personally despite that fact it's painstakingly clear he's yelling because he's angry with HIMSELF. You're all so focused on the fact he yelled — which, I feel I need to remind you he's in grief and he's going through a very hard change, he's always been calm so seeing him like this really puts into perspective how much he's hurting. No one is talking about his apology afterwards.

He recognizes that he lashed out incorrectly, (and imo he's ALLOWED to after all he's gone through. god forbid grief be expressed in any capacity other than quiet depression.) And then he apologizes. Because that's what he does. He recognizes a misstep and apologizes. This is how he's always been.

Training

And when he's training us, telling us to push beyond our limits, this is a reflection of himself again. This is how he trained. We know this because this is how the Crucible became what it is now.

But I will also take good ideas where I can get them. And Osiris's belief that Guardian minds and bodies can be sharpened as one sharpens a sword is a damn good idea. You've seen the results in the Crucible. Do I really have to say any more?

The Conqueror 2

Osiris has always pushed himself (and in part I think Felwinter added to this) so it only makes sense he'd try to push us in the same manner. The entire point of this is to show it's wrong and Osiris eventually recognizes it as wrong! His perspective was incorrect! And it changes! Because that's how stories work!

Grief

Grief is not always shown with crying messes, it's not always quiet depression, it can manifest by being incredibly volatile and angry and that's how Osiris handles his grief when he can't just power himself through it anymore.

His arc is coming to terms with the fact he can't just wrestle his grief into submission. His arc is that he doesn't have to deal with his grief alone. His arc is that his mortality and inability to act himself isn't a personal failure. His arc is that he lets it flow rather than try to push it down. Like strand, Osiris's grief is a river and he's been trying to build a dam for the past several months.

Osiris is a nuanced character. He has flaws and he's never hid them. If you played the entire campaign with the audio off and subtitles off and you can't grasp the simple fact Osiris is experiencing incredible amounts of grief and trauma that's on you, my friend.

I am still alive, Gaza is no longer Gaza

Read this. Read it slowly.

Read it again.

And then again.

Don't you ever forget it.

Link without paywall

if it doesn't sound fetishistic to say you're attracted to people with long hair or freckles or wide hips or dark brown eyes that look almost black, then it shouldn't sound fetishistic to say you're attracted to fat people. If it's not inherently a fetish to say you like people with sculpted backs or toned arms or six packs or small breasts or a coke bottle figure, then why would it be fetishistic to like a soft face with a double chin, or a round stomach, or big legs rippling with cellulite or stretch marks on rolls. you can find a fat person attractive. you can love the way their cheeks press up to meet the corners of their eyes, or the way their arms look, or the way their love handles spill out of their clothes. you can just. like fat people. you can say you like fat people. do you ever think how strange it is? how someone may think you're some sort of "perverse" weirdo for just...liking a body? how strange it is to put these precursory disclaimers of "not to be weird, but", "I don't mean it in that way, but", "I'm not a chubby chaser, but", or "I know it's kind of problematic, but..." could you imagine if it was any other body?

"not to sound like a muscle gain fetishist, but I love women with athletic bodies. It might sound weird, but I love short kings. I don't mean it in a weird way, but I love girls with hip dips."

It would seem strange. unnecessary. one may even assume there is some sort of guilt or fear you're hiding because it's normal to have things you like. it's normal to find certain things cute, hot, sexy.

you can sexually desire fat people and enjoy that they are fat. you can do that.

also, if you genuinely have a fetish (or deep sexual attraction if u for whatever reason are uncomfortable with the word fetish) for something that is found on larger bodies (bellies, fupas, thighs, underarms with fat/breast tissue in them, sagging breasts, big arms with skin that wobbles, cankles), or for a bigger body in and of itself (because I know some of y'all still want to sever yourselves from this), there is nothing wrong with that. people have fetishes for hands and teeth and earlobes and kneecaps and butts and shoulders and calves. what makes their thing any more acceptable than yours? there is nothing wrong with being aroused by bigger bodies.

please do not add tags and reblog this with "except when such and such is involved". I am not bringing those situations up for a reason. do not attempt to pivot this post into a thinkpiece on the objectification and/or abuse of fat bodies, ESPECIALLY if you yourself are not fat.

this is coming from the perspective of a Black person. Namely, a Black Nigerian-American person. Where I come from, there is a cultural, pre-colonial practice of gaining weight (and yes, particularly getting fat) to accentuate beauty. my body was handed down to me lovingly by my ancestors. i love my fat.

and if you love it too, that's okay. ♡

LOVEEEE THIS IS SO GOOD

me: i’m going to write a fic about jasper having to live at henry’s house

me nearly a thousand words in: i’m now going to write about jasper having to live in the man cave with ray

the dad!ray agenda never stops