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Barty Crouch Jr - Blog Posts
Yooooooo
So update on the Marauders x Ocean’s 11 (i tried to do only girls but this line up just worked so well)
James as Danny Ocean
Lily as Rusty (we know who the real brain is)
Sirius as Ruben
Mary as Saul
Dorcas as Frank?
Marlene as Basher
Pandora as Yen?
Regulus as Linus
Evan and Barty as Virgil and Turk
Lily as Livingston
Peter as Tess (no romantic Prongstail)
Voldy as Benedict
(Obviously it’s their global role, they won’t be exactly them)
You seemed interested: @braddicted
Pandora: Hey guys, are you a poet, king, or soldier?
Pandora: I’m a poet for sure
Evan: I’m a king obviously. Barty?
Barty: *without hesitation* executioner
Evan: *romantic sigh*
Barty, Pandora, Peter, Mary, and Lily are left handed.
James, Remus, Regulus, Evan, Marlene, and Dorcas are all right handed.
Sirius was supposed to be left handed but his parents made him only use his right and now he’s right handed.
I posted my first one shot!!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/63181492
Rosekiller with the matching ciggarets after sex necklaces. Evan would be the half with 'my heart for you' and Barty the 'I would glady break' that's it that's the post.
barty and evan would get each others bite marks tattooed, send tweet
you might like the same character as me but i like them in a far more concerning and deeply controversial way than you ever will
Bones and all rosekiller au.
barty as maren who's das just left him and evan as lee who has pretty much established a well working solo live however still cant leave his sister who hes protectet all his live. sully is mad eye moody and all of them are canibals (duh)
please someone write this i will build a statue of you or smt pleease
hear me out marvel comic rosekiller au with barty deadpool and evan spiderman (spiderman noir 🤨)
this is so accurate i-
david tennants so funny to me cuz hes like. a very private and quiet person. and all characters they call him to do are like mr slutty mcthot
At Jily's wedding:
Church: If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.
Evan: LILY.
*Regulus and Dorcas trying to hold Evan back while Barty is laughing*
Lily: For the last time, Evan, I understand you want to be called Evan Evans. But that is not a valid reason to interrupt my wedding!!!
Evan : BUT THINK ABOUT IT.
Hear me out-
The marauders never knew just how batshit crazy the skittles were. They had only heard some rumors but never truly saw their antics, I mean sure they had heard that one of them had set the lab on fire, or the other slept with half the school, or even that they poisoned slug horn. Yet never the fights, the weed, the insane things that thy consider normal. Especially Sirius, he expected his goody two shoes brother's friends to be pretentious assholes.
Cut to when jegulus started dating, the two friend groups started to interact, and that's when they saw how crazy they were. It started as everyone was sitting in the Slytherin common room, then out of nowhere barges on barty and Pandora cackling while running away from something, that's when Evan who was standing closest to the door quickly shut it with a shit eating grin. Regulus let out an exasperated sigh and then Dorcas with a subtle smirk "what'd you two do this time?" And with the most terrifying grin Pandora, sweet, sweet Pandora said in the most soft voice "we jinxed Snape then we lit the classroom on fire" Regulus then just smiled and said "awww thank guys you didn't have to" in the most sarcastic tone despite his smile.
Yeah, that was another thing about the skittles, they were OVERprotective, those guys would kill for each other if the occasion arise. The marauders saw a lot of their antics, from laughing as thy jinx or curse someone, to smoking weed in the perfect's room and playing tag (ON THE EDGE OF THE ASTRONOMY TOWER) but what tops the disastrous cake is when they saw just to which extent their cruelty reaches.
It started with a commotion in the halls, Remus was the first to arrive, then Sirius, and oh was he shocked. He saw his little cousin, HIS LITTLE COUSIN narcissa being hugged by Pandora, while barty absolutely beats the living shit out of Mulciber and Lucius. He looked manic, nose and lip bleeding, but he had this crazed look in his eyes, and a grin of pure evil. All while Evan is smirking at him and Regulus and Dorcas apply healing charms on Mulciber and Lucius so they wouldn't pass out. They were all laughing, Regulus. Was. Laughing. Maniacally. Then narcissa comes up to Regulus and whispers something in his ear. "That's enough barty" he then says. Barty, the fucking maniac seems reluctant to back off until Evan quite literally pulls him off and throws him over his shoulder. Regulus walks menacingly towards the two assholes on the floor, "I'll say this once and once only, you talk like that about my cousin or touch her without her consent one more time and we'll cut you tiny dicks off to shove them so far down your throats till they come out your ass with your shitty personality, got it? " they just nod while the deemed "skittles" saunder off.
Sirius wanted to rip his hair out, james was beyond turned on, Peter looked traumatized while lily was chuckling and Remus looked amused.
Another incident was when both groups were sitting together and a Raven claw came up to then. He was eyeing lily and Dorcas weirdly. "Hey ladies, how about you and I leave those losers alone and have some fun? " they looked beyond uncomfortable, "no thanks mate we're not into that." The guy frowned "I promise you won't regret it, I've got a way with girls". " look pal, they said they weren't interested " snarled barty. "Says the person who slept with half the school, shut up whor-" before he even finishes, he was on the floor, a livid Evan looming over him. "Fucking scum, let's leave"
It took about a week and a half of James and Regulus dating before the marauders realized how fucking batshit crazy they were.
I’m currently imagining Barty refusing to sleep for like a week straight because he’s so stressed about studying for his OWLs and stuff. And then one day he finally falls asleep on Evan’s lap in the common room. And Evan is so thankful because Barty’s finally asleep and getting the rest he needs, and so Evan full on glares at anyone new who comes in until they either scurry up to their dorms or they get the hint to stay quiet.
sure, we all love rough rosekiller, but i need them soft, too
i need forehead and nose kisses
i need barty calling evan pretty and evan blushing so adorably that barty starts kissing all over his face
evan holding barty while he complains about his dad
giving each other looks™️
holding hands whenever they can. in the halls, at meals, during walks around the lake
on that note, always needing some sort of physical contact. shoulders pressed together with barty’s hand on evan’s knee. evan’s arm around barty’s shoulders and barty’s arm around evan’s waist.
demisexual evan x hypersexual barty but they’re both virgins because they’ve only ever had eyes for each other
the two of them talking about plans for after graduation. talking about kids and marriage and maybe opening a restaurant together
holding each other after nightmares
once again just the softest little kisses. barty crying about his mom’s death while evan presses little pecks to his ears and forehead and the top of his head and his jaw and his cheeks and his eyes
barty is left handed evan is right handed and they hold hands while they study
barty is really smart and he never gets much appreciation for it at home so evan throws him an entire surprise party when he gets all 12 owls
just. soft rosekiller being so so in love
everyones like "barty shouldn't have done what he did to mad-eye" BITCH, if someone killed my pookie wookie manwife unofficial boyfriend, id lock them up and pretend to be them for a year too
Barty may have been fucking insane but he was also a genius who scored 12 O’s for OWLS without breaking a sweat
Here's Part 2 for the fancasts in my Marauders DR
(click on profile to see Part 1)
Barty Crouch JR. Severus Snape.
Regulus Black. Angela Monique
꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡
Welcome to canon couples in my DR
(don't take this personally, it's just my opinion)
1) Pandora Rosier x Lily Evans
Pandora "my family told me my dreams are just dreams" Rosier x Lily "Well, my family taught me to follow my dreams" Evans
• this couple is the absolute cutest, two goddess queens both learning they have feelings for each other
• Pandora grew up with an evil family and felt she should be kind, she sees kindness as her only real superpower, not being psychic . Pandora being proud of lily for seeing the good in not only the people around her but herself
• Lily grew up judged for her blood type, sometimes she still does worry if she's being judged but Pandora quickly likes to help her see the light, that she doesn't see lily any different
• Pandora loves to talk and gush about lily to regulus while lily loves to talk and gush about Pandora to Benjamin (me) (speaking in first person so I feel like a character and therefore apart of the marauders lol)
2) Dorcas Meadowes x Marlene McKinnon
• classic badass lesbian couple
• started out as academic rivals despite both being in Slytherin
• "I scored an A+ dork." "groans. for now you have McKinnon. But that charms test is mine."
• Dorcas likes to play basketball, and she plays it rough. Marlene just watches with a bucket of popcorn, cheering her girlfriend on with a smug grin whenever Dorcas punches someone's face in
• Marlene growing up to have internal homophobia and Dorcus helping her see their love is real, and love is love
• On their anniversary night, Marlene gifts Dorcas a real rare dragon that Dorcas has no idea how she got, Marlene replies with a simple "I have my ways"
• while Dorcas checks the collar of the dragon, she notices the locket open and inside a diamond ring. when she turns around, Marlene is on one knee with arms spread open
"marry me dork?"
3) Mary Macdonalds x Evan Rosier
• stone head x hopeless romantic
• they meet in the library while Mary is reading a novel and Evan is selling cocaine to a customer, he realizes she saw and approaches her, attempting to suave her into not telling "Romeo and Juliet huh?" he asks, Mary raises an eyebrow "this is Macbeth." she replies making him freeze up, she smiles "don't worry, I won't tell", he smiles back "cool"
• he tries to get her to try drugs a little but she refuses with a burning passion, after a few months go by he stops taking drugs cause he wants to be better for her
• after mary gets dumped by yet another boyfriend, she feels undesirable and goes to evan to find solace. Evan listens to her every word with a burning sensation in his chest, he comforts her up close, rubbing her back.
"I want to be someone's first choice, Evan"
"....you are mary." he whispers, she frowns
"no no- I know what you mean. I'm not his first choice." she says, Evan frowns
"you're someone's first choice," he replies, but he's not brave enough to say "you're my first choice"
• after a few months together, she's reading a romantic novel to him and gushing, talking about fanfiction and he just listens with a smile on his face. "and then he lifts her chin up and kisses her!! ahh! so romantic!" she squeals and Evan smiles before it fades, before he can rethink, he's lifting her chin up, getting close and pressing his lips to hers. they separate after awhile and he notices her wide eyes, he smiles sheepishly
• "you're my first choice, Marian."
4) Sirius Black x James Potter
• the definition of ultimate bromance
• started off with them making fun and teasing other couples, even going as far as kissing and hugging each other, but both secretly start to like it
• they're best friends to lovers, Sirius enjoys Remus company sure but no one quite understands his chaotic-ness like James does, a lover and a best friend is the best you can get right?
• they're running down the halls after pranking Severus Snape again before they see professor McGonagall walking straight down the hallway, they panic and hide in a small secluded area trying not to breath each other's air
• "well, it seems we've found each other in a tight situation" James replies with a grin making Sirius grin back "good one James" he retorts playfully
• they stay there for awhile and notice McGonagall is gone, but both seemed to like...being up close. they wouldn't tell each other that though
• extreme slow burn, Sirius isn't the one with internal homophobia. anything his parents is against, he fully supports so gay rights is his middle name. James is the one who has to deal with the conflict, he's undoubtedly sure his parents will support him but he still struggles
• I also feel like they're the same but in different fonts lol, like they'll look at a situation and think "should we?" and the other is like "definitely"
5) Remus lupin x Barty Crouch Jr
come on now
Remus "I'm a fucking werewolf, does that not bother you?" Lupin " x Barty "I have dreamt of this moment my entire life. Crush me now." Crouch Jr
• they're damn chaotic. barty regularly tries to set a building on fire and Remus is behind him 'trying' to stop him but secretly adds more gasoline
• they bring out each other's worse in the best way that you can't help but see the appeal
• definition of "partners in crime" except the crime is getting James to admit his feelings to Sirius but he is in EXTREME denial
• Barty growing up in a household similar to an orphanage, too many kids around and the only way he felt noticed was by being a little gremlin
• Remus who actually grew up in orphanage but did the same although soon realizes those people weren't his parents and stopped trying to get their attention or approval
• both understand each other in a deeper way
• they also have nasty sex LMAO
• they're both tall, semi strong and extremely dominant. if your dorm is across from them, and you hear screams of agony and things crashing into the walls, don't worry they're just making love <3
• masochism tango is their song, I'm calling it
• they're a healthy couple emotionally and mentally guys, they just a little kinky physically 🤭
god I ship them with a burning passion, you cannot take them away from me 😭😭😭
We’ll Meet Again
“They tell of a tale in these London parts. That the devil and the wondering soul meet once every century......”
Prophecy:
Behold, the Dark Lord, shrouded in night,
With cunning eyes that gleam with a wicked light.
He sought power, a thirst that never waned,
And found it in two girls, their powers untamed.
The first, an obscurial, her magic twisted,
A parasitic force, dark and unassisted.
Her heart consumed by anger and pain,
She unleashed destruction, a torrent of disdain.
The second, a Veela, of ancient blood,
Her lineage was renowned, a power understood.
To cheat Death, to rise from ashes anew,
A gift passed down, rare and true.
The Dark Lord, in his arrogance and greed,
Though he could control them, and fulfill his need.
But little did he know, their destinies entwined,
Two forces combined, an alliance enshrined.
The obscurial, with her dark might,
Found solace in the Veela's light,
Their powers melded, a force so strong,
They united against the Dark Lord's wrong.
With their combined strength, they rose in might,
Fighting against the Dark Lord's blight.
They shattered his plans, broke his hold,
Their powers are unstoppable, brave, and bold.
The Dark Lord, now faced with defeat,
Brought to his knees, humbled and beat.
The girls, victorious, brought him down,
His reign of darkness forever drowns.
So ends the tale of the Dark Lord's plight,
Thwarted by two girls, with powers so bright.
Their alliance is a symbol of hope and might,
A prophecy fulfilled, in the battle for light.
COMING SOON!!!! chapters will be uploaded here on Tumblr, Wattpad, and Ao3
We’ll Meet Again
“They tell of a tale in these London parts. That the devil and the wondering soul meet once every century......”
Prophecy:
Behold, the Dark Lord, shrouded in night,
With cunning eyes that gleam with a wicked light.
He sought power, a thirst that never waned,
And found it in two girls, their powers untamed.
The first, an obscurial, her magic twisted,
A parasitic force, dark and unassisted.
Her heart consumed by anger and pain,
She unleashed destruction, a torrent of disdain.
The second, a Veela, of ancient blood,
Her lineage was renowned, a power understood.
To cheat Death, to rise from ashes anew,
A gift passed down, rare and true.
The Dark Lord, in his arrogance and greed,
Though he could control them, and fulfill his need.
But little did he know, their destinies entwined,
Two forces combined, an alliance enshrined.
The obscurial, with her dark might,
Found solace in the Veela's light,
Their powers melded, a force so strong,
They united against the Dark Lord's wrong.
With their combined strength, they rose in might,
Fighting against the Dark Lord's blight.
They shattered his plans, broke his hold,
Their powers are unstoppable, brave, and bold.
The Dark Lord, now faced with defeat,
Brought to his knees, humbled and beat.
The girls, victorious, brought him down,
His reign of darkness forever drowns.
So ends the tale of the Dark Lord's plight,
Thwarted by two girls, with powers so bright.
Their alliance is a symbol of hope and might,
A prophecy fulfilled, in the battle for light.
COMING SOON!!!! chapters will be uploaded here on Tumblr, Wattpad, and Ao3
Marauders & co. at an airport/ on a plane
James: Looks in every shop at the airport, is really hyper up until he gets on the plane, then he’s pretty chill
Sirius: Terrified of flying on a plane (will fly on a literal broomstick but can’t even think about flying in an enclosed space). Brings his skincare to do on the plane.
Remus: Forces everyone to get to the airport early, packs the night before, is at least 20 people’s airport crush. Reads the whole plane ride
Peter: Brings snacks, magazines, games. Gets lost but makes friends with some random person who he’ll never see again
Marlene: Goes into every shop with James, will not chill out on the plane (always asks the flight attendants a million questions), is that annoying person who claps when the plane lands
Lily: Helps Remus rangle everyone into coming to the airport early, has her whole suitcase organised, sleeps on the plane
Mary: Forces everyone to get to the gate early, first in line onto the plane, gets really stressed (especially going through security)
Regulus: Looks chill, but he’s actually really scared of planes (like Sirius), has monogrammed luggage, listens to music on the plane. Sits on the aisle seat
Pandora: Is actually super chill, has the “we get there when we get there” mentality. If no one dragged her along to be early she’d turn up as the gate was closing. Brings her latest craft project onto the plane (not like messy stuff, like crochet or embroidery or smth)
Dorcas: Makes sure no one gets lost, is at least 20 people’s airport crush (like Remus), is willing to put people on one of those backpack leash things. Talks to people on the plane.
Evan: Tired™️. It doesn’t matter if the flight is at 1pm, he’ll still sleep at every chance he gets. Goes crazy when the airport has a Lego shop. Sleeps on the plane (obvi)
Barty: Is extremely annoying. Won’t be ready when everyone has to leave, definitely forgot something at home, is super annoying on the flight (will be that person that “asks questions” when the flight attendants are doing the safety thing), claps when the plane lands.
@mylordcheezer has technically given me permission to rant, so here it is.
1. James and Sirius would so watch h2o because it’s almost like their animagus, as in they turn into mermaids and they have to hide it. Also, the fact that’s they would be outcast by society if they revealed their secret would remind them of Remus (also Emma Cleo and Ricky go a bit loopy on full moons and they have to hide from the moon and other people, almost like the shrieking shack). Mostly they would watch it just for funsies tho
2. (Kinda spoilers for s1 young royals) Regulus would relate to Wilhelm, they both grew up as the “spare” but then when their older brothers left/died, they suddenly became the important one. They also both had to hide their queerness. Also, regulus would totally learn Swedish and become fluent in it. (Also, he always has captions on because he can’t hear it if the captions aren’t on. I’m totally not saying that because it’s how I watch stuff)
3. I fully believe that James would have read the heartstopper comics before the show came out, and Sirius would be a “heartstopper is cringe” girlie, until James forced him to watch it. Then he would be OBSESSED. I’m talking, reading all the comics, buying them, watching the show on repeat, starting a whole fan account, the whole lot. Also, he’d tease James about the fact that hes nick and regulus is Charlie.
4. Evan and barty would binge heartbreak high in one night, idk why they would like it so much, it just gives off their vibes. Bartys favourite character would be Harper and evans would be ca$h
5. Dorcas would LOVE the chilling adventures of Sabrina because like, it’s witchy and stuff, idk it just gives off her vibes, she would laugh about how wrong they were about witchcraft though. And gossip girl, I actually haven’t watched it so I don’t really know, but my friend said it kinda gave of dorcas vibes and I can see it so yah
6. Omg lily and Mary just give off Gilmore girl vibes. Mary would love Lorelei and lily would love sookie, like so much. They would both be like, edward Cullen level obsessed. And gossip girl, they’d watch that because dorcas put them onto it and they’d have weekly picnics to discuss it.
7. I feel like lily would just relate to Anne, like, I don’t really have a reason behind this one, lily just gives cottagecore girlie vibes
8. Pandora would watch the good place because it’s kinda like upbeat but also really dark and twisted, which is kinda like her. Like I see pandora as being really light and kinda loopy and stuff but she has really dark interests.
9. Pandora and regulus would so watch umbrella academy together, again, it’s kinda dark and a bit out there so obviously they’d both love it. Regulus would relate to viktor, because they both feel out of place in their families. Pandora would try to guess what’s gonna happen next and she’d be eerily right every time.
10. Peter and Sirius’s friendship is silly and I see it as childish in the best way possible, so they’d watch teen titans religiously. Sirius would LOVE starfire (idk why but I just think he would) and Peter would be obsessed with beast boy or robin.
11. Remus would watch shadow and bone for the six of crows parts. He wouldn’t be obsessed with the shadow and bone parts, but with six of crows? YES. He obviously would have read the books (the shadow and bone trilogy and the six of crows duology). He would relate so much to kaz, because they both feel like they aren’t deserving of love and that they shouldn’t love someone because it makes them vulnerable. Also, they both grew up kinda having to fend for themselves. Ok so derry girls, I think he’d just watch it for fun, it would be something he can watch to take his mind off things. I also think that Erin, Orla, Michelle and Clare would remind him of the marauders
12. Marlene would watch atypical for Casey, like Casey would be the reason she watched the show. And I also think she’d just watch kinda shitty shows just because she can. Like Kath and Kim (which is the best show ever made). She would love Kath and Sharon, just because they’re icons. That’s it really
13. James and regulus would watch the end of the f***ing world and I am not okay with this because James would want to watch something with his boyfriend, and even though he’s not as interested in the supernatural/dark sides of the shows, he sees how happy it makes regulus, and that makes it all worth it. Honestly, he’d spend the whole time looking at regulus
14. Regulus and Remus’ friendship gives me life, so naturally I have to have a show that they watch together, which is the queens gambit. Tbh I haven’t watched it, but I just feel like they would both like it.
15. I KNOW THIS IS A NEW ONE BUT I HAD TO ADD IT. Sirius would watch young royals so he could have something to talk about with regulus.
Ok that’s the end of my rambles, that was really great because none of my friends care about the marauders, so dumping my thoughts on random internet people is my next best option. Enjoy 😉.
Tv shows I think people from the marauders era would watch:
James and Sirius: H2o (and they’d fucking love very minute of it)
Regulus: Young Royals
Sirius and James (yes again, because I can): heartstopper
Evan and Barty: Heartbreak high (the new one)
Dorcas: the chilling adventures of Sabrina/gossip girl
Lily and Mary: Gilmore girls/ gossip girl (they’d talk about it with dorcas)
Lily: Anne with an E
Pandora: the good place
Pandora and regulus: umbrella academy
Peter and Sirius: teen titans go
Remus: shadow and bone (he’s obviously read the books first tho)/ derry girls
Marlene: atypical/sex education/ Kath and Kim
James and regulus: the end of the f***ing world/I am not ok with this
Regulus and Remus: the queens gambit
I HAVE REALLY DETAILED EXPLANATIONS TO ALL OF THESE BUT THEYRE REALLY LONG AND RAMBLY SO IM LEAVING THEM OUT
if jily + other marauders era characters weren't in the houses they are in:
james would be a cute little hufflepuff because hes loyal af, kind (to people who deserve it) and also he is an excellent cook (my hc)
lily evans is a ravenclaw, and there is no argument for her being slytherin. a) she would probably be murdered or tortured for being muggleborn, b) she THIRSTS for knowledge (and james potter) and is extremely creative and witty and self-aware. plus shes (in most fanfics i read) excellent at charms which is flitwicks class.
anyways if they werent the ultimate gryffindor head boy/girl couple, they would be the huffleclaw head boy/girl couple that everyone adored.
sirius: he is a gryffindor fight me on this
remus: ravenclaw
peter: hufflepuff EXCEPT towards the end hes a slytherin
marlene: slytherin
dorcas: she was ORIGINALLY a gryffindor but if not then she would be a ravenclaw
mary: hufflepuff
regulus: ravenclaw
evan: hufflepuff
barty: gryffindor
narcissa: hufflepuff
andromeda: gryffindor
bellatrix: ravenclaw
if the marauders were asian but specifically east and south east asian
the blacks: theyre so chinese coded idk but maybe korean
remus: malaysian. he handles spice like a fucking pro
lily: she is japanese and she is a kawaii type girl and shes fucking adorabld
marlene: white washed chinese or japanese
james: china but specifically guang zhou or hong kong cause he just gives cantonese vibes also hes very very very whitewashed
peter: singapore kiddo and therefore can speak like 5 languages/dialects
pandora: shes just korean skincare girly
evan: also korean but more nerd aesthetic yk
barty: wasian if he really has to be
dorcas: shes not asian in any universe imaginable ever
rita skeeter: same with her tbh
mary: whitewashed (but can still speak the language) i havent decided for her but i think vietnam kinda suits her
emmeline: shes already asian/wasian idc what anyone says
alice: shes white but shes very accepting of asian culture and is obsessed with kpop
frank: korean or (for some reason) thai
yall i miss jily😭😭😭 not like its gone but like the marauders used to be so happy sunshine gryffindor vibes. but also i feel like we collectively all forget how much james potter HATED slytherin. idk i also think that yes death eaters were humans BUT they also killed so many people like are we forgetting that barty crouch jr literally tortured alice and frank longbottom he is at fault for neville growing up without his parents😭 i genuinely think that people forget that evan, barty etc. actually killed people and killed people who were probably friends with the marauders. ik that everyone deserves a second chance but seriously???? do you actually think that the rosiers were good people and didn't hate and discriminate against muggleborns??? NOT EVERYONE HAS A TRAGIC BACKSTORY IDK SOME OF THEM ARE JUST EVIL. the way everyone defends evan rosier (love his character but i have beef with the way he gets away with being a death eater later on) but snape, who i absolutely detest, hate and think should have died earlier, who also actually did something that was not evil in his lifetime, is the most hated marauders character like????? and the black sisters???? yes love a complex female character but are we seriously trying to redeem bellatrix? do we not remember WHAT SHE SCARED ON HERMIONE LIKE WHAT. and love the newer marauders fandom but everyones so emo and depressed this is supposed to be FUN. also the characters feel so ooc. everytime i see casanova remus lupin im like 'huh thats supposed to be sirius and james???' love remus but my boy aint rizzing anyone up hes a shy af introvert. and jegulus is so cute but remember that james is #no.1slytherinhater and he was absolutely smitten with lily evans FROM THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. REMEMBER WHEN JILY WAS THE BACKBONE OF THE MARAUDERS? like they ate fr. this became a whole ass paragraph damn i did not know i had so much to say about this. i can lowkey already sniff the comments or thoughts saying 'oh let us have our fun its just a story' im not stopping you this is just my opinion. 'oh none of this is actually proven' please give me a break😭🙏 like most of the source material goes against the fandoms perception of the marauders. 'fuck jkr we'll do what we want' youve basically just made 10 million ocs and give them names of characters like im eating up all the marauders content but genuinely can we go back to the happier times??
The Slytherin Skittles have the TIME OF THEIR LIVES bullying little kids on Roblox. Every time Regulus is in a bad mood, he just logs in and makes cocky 12-year-olds cry. The first time James heard him (after he woke up in Reggie's place one day), he was so SHOCKED because he had never heard Regulus-sarcastic-side-remarks-Black curse that much. Also, that kind of online bullying is classical Rosekiller activity. They just get on Tiktok or Twitter and write the most random controversial shit ("yall, i think democracy is kinda overrated??") and watch shit unfold
Regulus is one of THOSE people who are always painfully early to everything. Even for a casual hangout, he will have arrived at least 30 minutes earlier than the agreed time just because. Evan is not like that,that man takes his time and isn't even ashamed about it. This man has missed actual important meetings and exams because he was changing his outfit at the last second because he just "wasn't feeling the vibe anymore." Usually, when the Slytherin Skittles hang out, they tell him they're meeting half an hour earlier than they actually are because they know he will be late. Imagine the absolute chaos that ensued when they all decided to take a trip together. Regulus was close to an actual mental breakdown, Evan was NOWHERE TO BE FOUND, Barty was looking for Dorca's bags, and Pandora was checking out the perfume store at the airport. They almost missed their flight
Evan talks in his sleep, and what I mean by talks is that he says the absolute stupidest shit. He'll just start listing ingredients for a poison or sing some obscure ass song. Barty snores like a train. And poor Regulus, who is already kinda insomnic, will just stare at the celling silently, planning his best friends' death. What he ends up doing is not telling Evan or Barty any of these so they find out when they sleep with someone else for the first time. "This girl told me I was speaking in my sleep so she kicked me out but thats fucking weird because if I did you guys would have told me. Guys? Reggie?"
THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME
Barty and Evan waiting YEARS to have a threesome with Reggie then JAMES FUCKING POTTER