Time You Are My Goat I SWEARRR...awesome

happy 6/9 day i speedran this

i wanna draw airy so bad but how i draw him is so ugly and no matter how hard i try he never looks good sighhh 💔💔💔

bryce Hfj Nd Headcanons u Say... ? Share them Pretty Pleas? wuld Love 2 Hear ur Thoughts Bout that Guy..

i see him having anxiety, clinical depression, c-ptsd and autism

the depression part is kinda obvious as to why if you pay attention to his character but ill elaborate later

the anxiety part is actually technically canon, since he has thalassophobia, which is an anxiety disorder (plus the fact i dont think airy would just randomly add a fun fact to their extra sections - a phobia caused by an actual disorder differs from just an irrational fear so yeah (also caney has epilepsy listed in his extra sections which is a disorder)) i'd like to incorporate that along with the cptsd part since it causes anxiety obviously

as for autism its more of a headcanon for fun rather than with factual basis but ill elaborate on it also

my reasoning for him having c-ptsd is not because of the competition but his childhood, his mom's behavior was so bad that stella had to out of her way to keep bryce away from her

i say complex ptsd specifically because of how he asks if she's having "another one" so we can assume it happened consistently. he also didn't have any way to escape (aside from stella distracting him) considering it was domestic. i dont really think his mom abused him in some way ? but the consequences had to be destructive enough for stella to assume their own home was unsafe for a small child. we don't see much about bryce's relationship with his mom (or his parents in general) but that 100% carried on to his adult self - especially if it happened frequently, and it was super early too because i dont think he was any older than like 7 in that flashback

another factor for this is stella's death ofc, we know how much their relationship mattered to him and how losing her affected him so i dont think i need to overexplain it

as for the way its shown in the show: compared to everyone else, his startled response feels more severe for me, like he always goes on fight or flight mode rather than just freaking out a little. i want to point out one 10 specially

liam shows up at bryces door after 7 months and just stays there for an entire night, during all that time liam just rambles about one and his mere presence is a reminder of one for bryce. one was a traumatizing experience for everyone, but bryce processes it differently, being reminded of that just sents him into shock:

he can't think of how to react until 10 hours later. the way liam reacts at first suggest he thinks bryce is just being rude and purposefully ignoring him, he thinks bryce shouldn't avoid talking to him because he thinks he didn't go through the same amount of pain he [liam] did on the plane and he shouldn't act like he did; but he isn't aware of how anything that remotely reminds him of a bad experience can send him spiraling back to that place, he may not have stayed as long and not have suffered as much (or worse) as liam, but he's been living with this mindset for so long that it's just an automatic reaction. he can panic at anything:

(and i wanna point out how on the first one the shot focuses specifically on him)

and that may seem obvious like, yeah of course he would panic in one 10 of course he was trying to process seeing liam out of nowhere after almost a year but i only went on this tangent and brought that up bc i wanna link it to another thing ....

in one 13 bryce says how "his life was miserable before the competition" and "now that its over he has an incentive to do something with his life". kylie also says that after bryce came back she feels like "he's taking his job more seriously". what i wanna touch on is how the way they put it seems like bryce is trying to like find a purpose in his life, but not exactly find peace ? i don't know exactly how to put it. like he says he was pretty miserable and demotivated he had a stupid chungus life whatever. it feels like he was trying to get his life in order and get more done, rather than facing what was holding him back in the first place and try to make peace with that. he felt unproductive when that's not really the main cause of his misery. which brings me to..

his whole thing with the waiting room. he didn't have any panic reaction, but he was definitely clinging to the past, in this case his childhood and the moments he got to feel safe with stella

now i know the waiting room is designed to make you want to go to whatever's calling you no matter what, but metaphors exist ok . so im gonna consider it a metaphor for his cptsd in bryce's case

he spends the entire episode clinging to the manifestation of stella, but liam stops him from actually going w her because he wants them to solve the whole airy thing first. by the end of it, bryce stops seeing the suburbs as well as stella. when liam and bryce finally get to rest, he says:

he didn't realize that his tendency to ignore his suffering in the past doesn't prepare him for when it pops up again. it send him into terror, he can't help but go back to reliving it, this cycle just kept making him feel worse but he insisted in doing better instead of reconciling with himself

his childhood and one were two different traumatic experiences, but accepting he can't just live what he went through in that competition behind makes him realize he doesn't need to be scared of his past so often. he had to realize he can't just constantly try to repress what happened and move on without reflecting on the way what happened scarred him and continues to affect him; even if he supresses it, it will come back one point and make him go through all that all over again (which is another reason for me to think that people saying bryce dislikes liam is stupid but thats not the point !🙄)

as for his depression season 1 implies it a lot, specially with the flashback sequence in one 7 i can see him having executive dysfunction and it being one of the reasons as to why he tried changing so much after one he also has problems with sleep, and the irritability that comes with experiencing depression in general. also stella's death once again contributes to it

i see him being autistic mainly because he's this trope basically:

(sorry this image is the only way i could put it . you have to understand . ) kylie says how he's not very expressive, and we see how he really isn't. monotonicity is very characteristic of asd, in his case it feels specially like a symptom considering how, in most cases, people don't mean to be as monotone as they are. we know bryce isn't exactly the most chill person in the world he just has a hard time managing and expressing his emotions

bringing up executive dysfunction again, its also a common trait in asd

another thing is his hypersensitivity (which i already talked about a lot), overstimulation can lead to panic attacks you get what i mean. i think he fits as being sensory avoidant

the way he handles most social situations in the show (specially on the plane and with liam on season 2) i can see him being oblivious to social cues

not exactly factual basis just a little analysis, i interpret him being low empathy but high compassion. i think the low empathy would be more related to his irritability

the book of bill is so fucking unserious first of all ford has TWO gay lovers one of whom is a sentient interdimensional triangle and the other is a man who LEFT HIS WIFE AND CHILD to go fuck his old college roommate who chose said sentient interdimensional triangle over him. AND THEN ford gets all pissy when his human situationship spends christmas with his family instead of him and his triangle bf/his MUSE for some gay ass fucking reason mysteriously disappears and then FINALLY he absolutely fucking FUMBLES fiddleford and breaks up with bill who loses his mind and begs ford to come back by writing on post it notes like a fucking SIMP until ford is SUCKED INTO A PORTAL after seeing his con man brother for the first time in decades and bill spends the next thirty years yearning after a fucking nerd while plotting world domination. THEN out of pure post breakup rage (albeit 30 years later) he starts the apocalypse and tries to murder two twelve year olds but instead ends up getting killed himself. then he begins planning his revenge while in the grave and is eventually sent to MULTIVERSE VILLAIN SPACE THERAPY. am i getting this right.

hi gang. its HALLOWEEN and i wanted to draw something, so...ATTACK!!!!!!

"Useless ray of goddamn sunshine. You could have taught an old fool like me a lot."

Referenced Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan (1885)

words cant describe how much i love it when fours eyes get funky, or when the colour changes to show he is angry.

I LOVE ITTTTTT

So I just finished playing Buddy Simulator 1984, safe to say i am not okay and ive been changed

Alt

the bride and the ugly ass groom

oh my god somebody blow them up NOW !!!!!!!

*sighhh* liam euthanization or some other misfortune be upon him