Latest Posts by zeffiroh - Page 3
[img Id- the greatest cas-on-left-benny-on-right-dean-in-middle love triangle(incomplete). cas(labelled “dog on my street i call DOG”) and Benny( labelled “the dog on my street i call DOGGO”) look at each other in complete envy or heartbreak or some unfathomable expression as rival dean boyfriends, where in the background dean(labelled “me”) yelts his head back in frustration or whatever the emotion is when you see your boyfriends eye-fighting. end ID]
and also dean never understands sam as a person, he only sees them as parents see their children. Not as another human capable of decisions, and containing thoughts, but as a being that will make mistakes and needs to be protected. He never saw sam’s addiction for what it was, his coping mechanism, but saw it as a fuck up from foolish choices. He never came out of thinking how anything sam does is just a bad decision, that he could have prevented. ANd he does go fucking things up to take control whenever given the chance, like killing whichever ‘monster’ sam decided was just as human as them. He never understand’s sam’s arch on having demon blood in him and first thinking of purifying himself of it and then embracing it and battling in between. It’s the same war crime parents commit on their kids. Like zero empathy space, because they are “children” and don’t know what they are doing, and god forbid they have “thoughts of their own” that are not “phases”. The whole toxic shit goes so much both ways and that’s why siblings aren’t supposed to be in the parenting dynamic.
still fucked up about the fact that sam started the series without like. Knowing dean. in dead in the water sam’s comment about dean caring about the kid - “who are you and what have you done with my brother?” and deans subsequently offended yet defeated face; sam knows dean like a child knows a parent, not really at all, distorted and incomplete, as figure and not person
THIS IS A TUMBLR HUG! PASS IT ON TO 10 OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOLLOWERS! HAVE A LOVELY DAY! ~♡ (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡
hug right back @ u . <3
this made me so happpppppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiii. take me heart.
[img id- origami sentient heart with arms -end id]
bow leg boy’s family dedication theme
jay gruska’s americana theme, played on a hand-crank music box
the fallen angel’s theme
a lovely person transcribed cas’ theme from 15x18 and i made a musicbox version of it for fun. it’s sounds so peaceful so i wanted to share it on here :’)
(sheet music credit, transcribed my skyler williams)
You are my only pleasure Wherever I go without you only you live in the hearts don't you? You are my happiness to live Wherever I go without you only you live in the hearts don't you? you wander in and out of my dreams you wrap your arms around me such The dream is mine, be mine here if you will Don't go away as soon as my sleep leaves me You are my happiness to live Wherever I go without you only you live in the hearts don't you? are you the light or are you some angel? Wherever I go without you only you live in the hearts don't you?
i guess it goes episodes 04X03,04X20,07X05,15X10
💐🌷🌹🌺🌻🌸🌼 if you like, send this to ten other bloggers you think are wonderful! you don't have to if you don't want to, of course! 🌼🌸🌻🌺🌹🌷💐
someone sent me flowers, and its making me very happy, so here’s a flower for that sweetie pie, and all other frens on the wide web. <3
seeing through
self harm after one point, becomes a coping mechanism. Its often potrayed as glorification of the result of deep introspection leading to masochoism , or as attention seeking, and a varried array of things in between. All half true, but far too contorted to have been intended well. In all truth, this is just my story.
i harmed myself, underfed myself, deprieved myself of sleep, gagged myself, whipped myself, took random medicines. Everything. If suicide is included in self harm, attempted it perioidically. And frankly, some of the self harm was for attention, i wished to make myself worthy of recieving care. To put myself in such hurt that i could control, explain in lies, and have catered to in small dozes. But more than that, it was a coping mechanism to hurt myself. Because everything else would be misconstrued or result in consequences i did not intend and could not control. A outburst of anger would effect my ties, breaking things was not affordable, or sometimes not explainable, Crying would lead to intervention into my thoughts. But self harm? no one would know, no one could question, and i’d come out “sane” , “normal”, there would be know “something’s happened to them, they’ve changed” , nothing. i could just inflict pain upon myself in places and ways no one could see, and then go about my day, following my passions, which were truly mine, but also all of me as everyone saw it. ANd there was also relief in harming myself, because , indeed my thoughts had mangled into this crowweb of hatred for myself, and the hatred of my love for myself. It felt real, and the pain felt mine, and sometimes it felt wrong, and so it felt right , because i thought i deserved it, i think so sometimes. Its a overlay between wanting pain, and also forcefully inflicting pain i don’t want, former because i think i’v wandered into masochistic desires and it feels poetic, latter because outside that poem i hurt from pain, but i think i deserve to be punished. so i do it myself.
on the sideway, suicide, just became an option, and once it did, somehow that made everything easier, that its going to end, in my control, so i can just do this, just not do that, just that. Failed suicide attempts have consequences and aftermath , of course they do, and more often then not, the guilt of having hurt others and the “selfishness” of it is already lingering in ur head on its own, the major aftermath is just a feeling of failure, and more ideation along with more self harm. Because maybe if you’re going to fail and then be put to the test for why’s and see others hurt for u, be angry, be troubled, or be unbothered by your pain, better sane up for it, so that the lingering apology in your head manages to find its way above the pain of the reality and you manage to set things right back they were before by convincing everyone so. Once self harm becomes you’re coping mechanism, it just never really is comforting to be saved.
There must be a way out of it, there is, i know, but how will it be found if we don’t dig a creek in this soft grave and set paper boats to sway here. The sun dazzles, at the edges of such a boat, i know.
how dare this be hidden in the tags.
Dean & Jesus? More alike than you think.
Chosen by god for sufferring
Sexy as fuck
Acab commie
Son of Mary
Dated castiel
Died getting nailed
Twunk
Boss ass bitch, said eat the rich
chaotic gooood at its highest.
Castiel: [becomes god] I'm god now
Castiel: [kills a homophobe] [kills a homophobe] [kills a homophobe] [kills a homophobe] [kills a homophobe] [kills a homophobe] [kills a homophobe] [kills a homophobe] [kills a homophobe] [dismantles the kkk] [kills a homophobe] [kills a h
this is important research data.
Memes to come out of spngate/spn s16 thus far that I can remember:
Super mega turbo hell
Homophobic Jackles
DestielPutinElection
Lamp
Tree
Onion
Party city wig
Dean getting nailed
Carry on wayward son evanescence cover
All cars go to heaven
Sam's blurry wife
Heller Jackles
Jensen release the tapes
Rancid nuts
Spanish dub supremacy
Bilingual dean winchester
Rogue translator
Obama is a Heller confirmed
Jensen x handprint
The 66 seals of Gay
Theller Swift
Adam Williams the vfx guy
Misha Collins/Bill Clinton sex scandal
Go diane winchester
The Beastiary aka dean's diary entry
Instructions unclear I fucked the micheal sword
Ally Sam Winchester
Wait what's Supernatural?
Destiel hasn't been home in a few days
Here's how endgame Sastiel can still win
Feel free to add.
when we try to befriend cats we mimic their meows and get down on the ground to their level and try to gently coax them to interact with us right
that horrifying entity mimicking human noises at us maybe just thinks we’re cool and wants to pet us?
dance is a language.
[img id- Dance Notation renditions of a flowy dance recital , a La Pessepied recital and a ballet recital. - end id]
ok fine .
misha collins may have the capacity to do good with intentions.
but he’s MISHA fucking collins
he is proof that this inherently toxic excuse of“being white, being a middle aged man, being in a societely acceptable relation, being upper middle class”, nothing abosolutely nothing makes u evil. u have to put extra effort to hate.
no, men dont hate women, no, white people are not racist. u have to take your energy and actively spend it toward endangering people, and there’s noway to justify that. nobody was born vile. hatred needs to be fed. and i can’t believe that men, white ppl, christians, middle aged ppl, are all represented by disgusting hateful specimens, and not misha collins.
nothing as good will ever come out of “will” and “intention” that can come out of laziness, boredome or revenge.
nothing as good will ever come out of “will” and “intention” that can come out of laziness, boredome or revenge.
nights
Maybe it’s the new moon, but today I feel as if I’ll fade away. That my existence will cease its hold it has on me and I’ll slip through realities fingers. That laying here still will force me to drift away into my dreams. Where my innards haunt me and comfort me alike. And if I wake up, I’ll feel ok again. I know the pain won’t ever go away. But for as long as I lay here, it will be forgotten. So let me lay here for eternity. Please let me lay here.
rubik’s cube = group = music notes
ps- this was just my solving of the cube, not the most effecient steps, neither the most dearranged cubr, 5*5 cube btw, and i’m v v v out of practice, so its lot of extra moves, but it does.
i did try to keep the time consistent, so u may be able to backtrack my og position of the cube by translating music back to moves.
last keypad of the day, in tabulating menu, sweeter pitch, guess song
megalovania. more keypads
a bit of bg also
keypad song. unravel. fuck chords
drifting away
A chasm has opened up All paths have failed What cure is there now for broken hearts? The happiness that never was mine May it be yours, it wherever you go My desire is, for you to live, And for your hopes and dreams to come true
May your world never reflect the barrenness of mine
each and every memory of yours is etched into my heart The way you would smile at me The way you would whisper to me that “You belong only to me” God only knows how it came to this pass How we came to be driven apart
I abandoned everything for you I burnt all my boats to come here to you But you never became mine You simply walked away I don’t know where you disappeared, taking my heart with you
Where would I go? I’m still right here I’m present in every beat of your heart You’re in my dreams when I sleep In my thoughts when I’m awake At each and every moment, you’re with me My heart beats for no one but you Now it will never belong to anyone else I am saying goodbye
I am saying goodbye
I am saying goodbye
I am saying goodbye
nights
Maybe it’s the new moon, but today I feel as if I’ll fade away. That my existence will cease its hold it has on me and I’ll slip through realities fingers. That laying here still will force me to drift away into my dreams. Where my innards haunt me and comfort me alike. And if I wake up, I’ll feel ok again. I know the pain won’t ever go away. But for as long as I lay here, it will be forgotten. So let me lay here for eternity. Please let me lay here.
I do believe that death can’t possibly be the end of a human soul. There’s too much a person builds up in a life to just vanish once it’s over.
the ghost of destiel canon
Machines
i love machines. because they are simply awsm.
machines can do clever things, if you can manage to look past the unclever things.
maybe we could make each other smile too, if we looked past our tears.
I never asked for love,
and here I am declared as your lover.
For the soul
it's like a sweet punishment...
...but the heart's been denounced
as a criminal.
I never asked for love,
and here I am declared as your lover.
For the soul
it's like a sweet punishment...
...but the heart's been denounced
as a criminal.
This glow on your face,
it's the fault of my eyes...
...they don't move away from it.
What should I do?
It hurts like a pressed nerve,
grows like a disease...
...captures the heart and mind.
What should I do?
I never asked for love,
and here I am declared as your lover.
For the soul
it's like a sweet punishment...
...but the heart's been denounced
as a criminal.
The heart says something
but does something else.
And it doesn't understand
any amount of pressure I put on it.
You owned my thoughts back then,
but now my heart is your slave.
Since the moment the heart became
your slave, it describes the soul.
Says, (the soul) keeps flying,
and salutes young love.
Then why does this pain keeps coming up...
...heart wants to go far...
...like a poison it starts to suffocate,
what should I do?
Sometimes it feels like
giving everything I own...
...sometimes I feel like giving up
the friend himself...
...to all these questions of the heart,
what answers do I give?
I never asked for love,
and here I am declared as your lover.
For the soul
it's like a sweet punishment...
...but the heart's been denounced
as a criminal.
“Take Me To Church” by Azra T.
rupture
At our parting of ways, Neither you cried nor I, then, why do neither of us sleep peacefully my companion they were but we never harmonized There were feelings of animosity, Indifference and anguish, dear departed had everything, but not unfaithfullness Like the clouds and sunlight, together but as apart as can be My companion they were. Putting kohl is hard now The graininess of my kohl is tough to bear In the eyes that hold my beloved Who else can be beheldl At the time of parting your eyes had my song And it was the song that I had never sung aloud Like clouds and sunlight, together but as apart as can be
Space Between Atoms Matter is a veil. It has to be, for what else would the space between atoms be? When I was young I wanted to lift the veil, To crawl beneath it and close it, Watch from behind. I wanted to be a ghost.
[ img id- animation of a bedsheet ghost made from circles and sin waves - end id]
the ghost of destiel canon
look from far.
drifting away
A chasm has opened up All paths have failed What cure is there now for broken hearts? The happiness that never was mine May it be yours, it wherever you go My desire is, for you to live, And for your hopes and dreams to come true
May your world never reflect the barrenness of mine
each and every memory of yours is etched into my heart The way you would smile at me The way you would whisper to me that “You belong only to me” God only knows how it came to this pass How we came to be driven apart
I abandoned everything for you I burnt all my boats to come here to you But you never became mine You simply walked away I don’t know where you disappeared, taking my heart with you
Where would I go? I’m still right here I’m present in every beat of your heart You’re in my dreams when I sleep In my thoughts when I’m awake At each and every moment, you’re with me My heart beats for no one but you Now it will never belong to anyone else I am saying goodbye
I am saying goodbye
I am saying goodbye
I am saying goodbye
Swaddled and sleeved in water, I dive to the rocky bottom and rise as the first drops of sky find the ocean. The waters above meet the waters below, the sweet and the salt, and I’m swimming back to the beginning. The forecasts were wrong. Half the sky is dark but it keeps changing. Half the stories I used to believe are false. Thank God I’ve got the good sense at last not to come in out of the rain. The waves open to take in the rain, and sunlight falls from the clouds onto the face of the deep as it did on the first day before the dividing began.