yamaguchikinnie

Latest Posts by yamaguchikinnie

no shape, no form.

I stare at the vanity 

Yet, My eyes aren't looking 

All that is there for me to see is a figure

It blurs and blurs I still cannot figure 

No shape, no form 

I must reform 

How? It’s said souls flow into creeks 

Taking the shape they please

But I cannot fit into a mold 

I have no definition 

Nothing worthy of attention 

Maybe this is how it’s meant to be

 floating around with no destiny 

I'll do that for eternity 

I'll latch into what I find in front of me

Till one day it tells me it needs me

I don't know who I am 

But maybe that's fate

For I aspire to elate within everything 

Nothing in this world and its luxuries 

Can limit me 

I simply am free. 

‏تذكير كل يوم:

THE OTHER SIDE

theirs this wall made of iron and steal blocking me of the far near I'm no brave man to climb all for I fear the fall Lost, I always seem to walk around its edges What is behind, I ask myself too many times maybe a gleamy forest withholding lilly fields but in my mind it's dark full of starving wolves that lurk curiosity is a sin, I need a redeemer some say it is liberating to be a dreamer but is the freedom worth the injury?

على متن حقيبة - ندى ناصر

I remember you falling into my river, and I remember your little pink shoe.

Spirited Away (2001) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

Nostalgia

“don’t worry, shell eventually grow out of it’’

I never did

Change: A process through which something becomes different

With growth comes along change

I grew, yet I remain the same.

Maybe it’s the nostalgia evoking me, an attachment grasping me in what seems to be the past

‘’move on’’ How can I leave what tended to structure me?

In a manner I am an adult, yet a sense of maturity is still to be held

I’m taller!, I’ve grown! Somehow a child reminisces within me, a child which Iv not abandoned, he isn’t what I used to be, he is what I am, maybe not fully but an essence still floats within me, and I carry it wherever I go.

You're the sun, you've never seen the night But you hear its song from the morning birds Well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds- Mitski ‘’Your Best American Girl’‘

Night sky

I LOVE YOU SM JOUD, YOU'RE SO CUTE

UR THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE <33333333

a rainbow of van gogh—

in order: Peach Tree in Bloom (in memory of Mauve), 1888 / Red Poppies and Daisies, 1890 / Willows at Sunset, 1888 / The Sower (Sower with Setting Sun), 1888 / Undergrowth with Two Figures, 1890 / Landscape with Couple Walking and Crescent Moon, 1890 / Branches with Almond Blossom, 1890 / Starry Night Over the Rhone, 1888 / Irises, 1889 / Wheat Field With Cypresses, 1889

you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.

Susan Sontag, from “Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1963″

this search for the essence of who I am

“Listen to the quiet but solid voice deep inside of you that tells you that you deserve better, that whispers you are meant for far better things.”

— Noor Shirazie, Into the Wildfire: Battle Scars

you are still learning. you are still changing. you are still growing. breathe. you will find your way.

Unknown (via perfectquote)

"They say the best blaze burns brightest when circumstances are at their worst."

“Who has seen the wind? Neither I nor you: But when the leaves hang trembling, The wind is passing through.” - 'The Wind Rises'.  

A gentle person is always beautiful.

TRUTH UNTOLD - by Joud Aburashed

I have so much to say But the world might decay Fear hurts not as much as regret  So I sharpen my sword ready to strike For my words are a weapon filled with might I look into the eyes of those souls Who were taught to keep their words behold Reassurance floods as for me I'm bold This is a new chance For righteousness to breed and enhance  Something weighs on my shoulder  It burns like ice yet even colder  So I release Finally feeling relief  This wasn't a war  This was for peace  For what is most valuable to me My morals that run glee So speak up for what you believe  You might feel relief 

Mahmoud Darwish, tr. by Fady Joudah, from The Butterfly’s Burden; “Take my horse and slaughter it”

attack on titian review

In the early 2000s, a college student named Hajime Isayama was working in a café when suddenly someone grabbed him by the collar violently. It was this, “the fear of meeting a person I can't communicate with,” that inspired a brilliant idea of writing what now would be the best anime of the decade. Attack on Titan is a dark fantasy manga (Japanese comic) that got turned into an anime. The anime gained a lot of popularity very rapidly and for a good reason. The show hurt me, it broke me in the most beautiful way, every episode left me with so many unanswered questions, every episode left a big impact on me as a person, it changed my sense of morality, the way I view life, it truly took me the whole new perspective.

Now theirs a lot of reason A.O.T is good but some of the main ones are:

The main storyline:

The anime/manga is set in a world where humanity lives peacefully inside cities surrounded by three enormous worshiped walls that have been built for a century, these walls protect them from a gigantic man eating creatures called titans, one day unexpectedly a titan larger than the 3rd outer wall (wall Maria) breaks it causing chaos destruction and fear leaving other titans to enter, titans start devouring humans at high rates as the main character Eren Jagear and his friends try to find his mother so they can enter the second wall and seek coverage but it’s too late, he watches as his own mother gets eaten alive, her shoe drooping symbolizing her leaving her son behind, in that very moment Eren swears that he’ll take revenge and slaughter all titans and give humanity hope for freedom since he’s always looked at the walls as if they are cages blocking him from the outer world ( it’s pretty ironic since the walls are what used to protect them ) then the real story begins following him entering the scouts regiment building relationships with other characters, and very unexpected plots that will change the whole course of the story.

  The well written characters:

Attack on titan by far has the best written characters. each character has their own unique personality, different interest, different point of views, a motive and a dream, weaknesses and strengths, yet they all are relatable and have one thing in common; they all are trying to survive or save their loved ones at least. We always see them learning and improving from each other, even balancing each other.  For example Armin lacks physical strength yet he has a good head on his shoulder while Eren is the opposite, he tends to let his emotions and humanity take over him. And in one scene Eren was refusing to kill Annie even if it was self defense thinking it was inhumane as he heard those words “To surpass monsters, you must be willing to abandon your humanity.” – Armin Alert. The story is also shown from every character point of view and that left us wondering if maybe Eren is in the wrong, maybe he’s the bad guy . Yet in the same time he’s the hero? The story is the same yet the point of views are changed and the audience are left to think for themselves, and the change of him from being the oppressed to being the oppressor was brilliant. The whole story was a big example of ‘’I can’t blame you nor you can blame me’’.              

As Armin once said “A good person? Well… I don’t really like that term. Because to me, it just seems to mean someone who’s good for you. And I don’t think there’s any one person who’s good for everyone.”

Diversity and awareness:

growing up it was hard for me to relate to characters, there wasn’t any diversity whatsoever. Male characters were superior while female characters were never taken seriously, not mention they always had to live up to the white beauty standards that were limiting to so many children. In attack on titan  they empowered all genders, personalities, bodies, races , and they did it in a proper way to show awareness for example every female character wasn’t sexualized nor objectified like most shows do and were written as proper humans with feeling and motives they were also respected an seen as equals with the male characters sometimes even stronger , as for appearance we see both woman and men with different unique features , a lot of the characters have a hooked/roman  noses, the strongest character is also the shortest,  Onyankopon is a dark-skinned man with black hair styled in a short crew cut and when someone asked him why his skin was dark showing ignores he simply answered by saying: because our creator thought it would be interesting if there was a mix of people, we got created cause we were wanted. The anime also explores other issues like parental abuse, in one seen a character was screaming calling out to her father apologizing while getting eaten by a titan and screaming this was a sign of trauma caused by her father’s abuse in the past. In other scenes we see parents manipulating their children or guilt tripping them into doing what they want for example historia and annie, Another thing the show raised awareness towards governmental corruption the show showed people abusing their authority multiple times and in one seen a  we see a soldier with access to governmental equipment selling them illegally. The government also had a history of lying to the citizens and hurting those who were brave enough speak the truth (Erwin’s father was killed) In season 2 the government falsely accused the 104 cadets by committing crimes against the crown and they sent people to kill them illegally just because they were discovering the truth. The list goes on and on of the governments greediness.                                                                                                                

The dark themes and mixed emotions:

“The world is merciless, and it's also very beautiful.”- Mikasa.  as I said before the show showed some serious problems and the dark realistic sides  the world in general and with these situations we are bound to get a lot of emotions like regret , feeling used, hopelessness, feeling stuck, losing touch with humanity, losing sight of you goals , betrayal, and more yet in the same time the show showed that in darkness there’s always some light , you see people stuck in a conflict find that they’re actually very similar to each other and becoming lovers, we see Armin achieving his long dream of wanting to see the ocean in with his own eyes , we see characters improving to the best version of themselves . The anime ended with our lovable main character dying and getting buried under the same tree he would sit under with the person he loved the most before the war, which was truly a bittersweet ending.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Attack on titian was very bittersweet and an emotional roller-coaster and it hurt me in the most beautiful way possible, it changed my morals, my views on life, it helped me learn valuable lessons. The anime is a masterpiece and I recommend it for everyone Possible.

كُلُّ ابْنِ آدَمَ خَطَّاءٌ وَخَيْرُ الْخَطَّائِينَ التَّوَّابُونَ

"Every son of Adam sins, and the best of the sinners are the repentant."

Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2499

Drink your coffee. Listen quietly to my words. Perhaps, We will not drink coffee together again. Perhaps I will not have the chance to speak again. — Nizar Tawfiq Qabbani

DAYDREAM

‘’They say a soul with a vivid imagination can live in their own world…I just never thought id get so lost in mine.’’ - Joud Aburashed

turns out I simply cannot handle situations

my world~

idealism is a disease

the letter

Day-Dream

Attack on titian

Truth untold

A little boat at the sea

a tall child

The other side

no shape, no form.

— But… the sensation that I’ve lost something lingers for a long time after I wake up. YOUR NAME (2016) dir. Makoto Shinkai

THE LETTER (by joud abu rashed)

Words: A single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing, used with others (or sometimes alone) to form a sentence and typically shown with a space on either side when written or printed. Words are a way to express one’s self, they show emotion, they might hurt someone, end relationships, start wars, they can be used as a weapon, since words are an important factor of both freedom and democracy, but most importantly words impact people, either negatively or positively depending on the situation. the war has ended a year ago marking a new age of democracy, it started since poverty was spreading like an illness due to the evils of monarchy so naturally the people protested their rights using their words but they weren’t heard the government was deaf to their pleas so a war eventually broke out in order to gain justice. Chaos and confusion that’s was how I lived after all I was a child an orphan who lost both parents and any sense of peace or security I ever had. I was lost, starving, with no will to live in this cruel world. Along with the bloodshed, something happened or rather someone came and rescued me. 

His name was Ashton Arlert, He was a kind man with a heart of gold. He took me in, provided me with every necessity. He taught me how to read and write, how to use a gun and protect myself just in case I find myself in a difficult position, but most importantly he gave me a will, a will to live. After years of suffering the war ended which lead me to decide to live a normal life, so I moved out to pursue my own career as a ghostwriter in a small company. You see after the war there was a huge decrease in people who knew how to write, which meant ghostwriters (especially for letters) became widely popular. My job required me to listen to people, to observe and analyze their emotions then find the right words that fit the message they want to present. I had my own life, friends, responsibilities, etc  yet Ashton never left my mind, he was like a father to me and I never showed him how much I appreciated what he had done towards me so I decided to write a letter to him. I was a professional writer with tons of experience yet I struggled with it (ironic isn’t it). For days and days all I would do is stare at an empty piece of paper with a cramped hand longing for words. Needless to say I was frustrated. I wrote and I wrote as if I was running out of time but nothing, just nothing. Everything I wrote would soon become another crumpled piece of paper in the trash, till one day while the smell of my morning coffee was mixing with the smell of ink coming from my pen I suddenly found the words that I longed for. I ran to the post office with the feeling of  relief in my lungs and a hint of excitement in my eyes. It was a quite night when he received the wax sealed letter, he looked at the handwriting a sense of nostalgia flooded him. He held it with his wrinkled hands as he read it with tears flooding his ocean blue eyes. The letter simply said “Thank you, Ashton, for everything. Sincerely Nadia” A simple phrase that’s all it took to bring a grown man to tears.

A Burning Hill / The Only Heartbreaker – Mitski

welcome to the life of a writer 

Never related to anything more 🥲😮‍💨