“Can I Tell You A Secret? You Don’t Have To Be In A Relationship. I Mean It. I Know They Force It

“Can I tell you a secret? You don’t have to be in a relationship. I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone. But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever - and yet the friendship is the one people ignore. I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets - they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing - not even a date - out of you? It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning. The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together. Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.”

— Single serving size // r.i.d

Thesis 101: Condensed version

In my experience, there is always someone somewhere starting their thesis, or struggling to the thesis finish line, or stuck in that middle part where it’s hard work without the reward. If you are just getting started on your thesis (or another big project) and you feel a bit lost and overwhelmed: fear not, I have your back. I created a list of tips that I found useful while writing my MSc thesis (psychology).

Let me know if this was helpful and if you want more. I originally wanted to post a whole series of tips on different stages of the thesis process, so consider this the drastically condensed version of that.

Getting started

Find a lab that works on a topic that interests you and with a team that you feel comfortable with.

Make sure you know where to go with questions and get to know the structure.

Set up your goals from the beginning and make a planning.

The best thing you can do at the beginning of your thesis is figure out what you want, what your university requires, and how the project works.

Planning

Create a list of all the steps you need to take to finish your thesis and divide them over the time (months, weeks?) that you have until the deadline.

At the very beginning, discuss this schedule with your supervisor.

Create in-between deadlines, with your supervisor and also with yourself.

At the beginning of each month, write down what you should do each week.

At the beginning of each week, write down what you should do each day.

Make a list of things you need to do each day, preferably the night before, so you can start right when you sit down.

You could even calendar block if that’s your cup of tea.

Steps

Here’s an example from a psychology graduate (me):

Literature search/brain storm

Research question, hypotheses

Summarizing results into proposal

Make a plan

Learn how to analyze data

Execute plan (e.g., data collection)

Analyse data

Write down results

Draw conclusion

Revision, feedback, revision, feedback, revision!

Reflection

Every week (or at whatever interval you prefer), sit down for 20 minutes and reflect on your progress. Ask yourself:

What did I do this week?

What went well?

What did not go as planned?

What can I do to improve next week?

What is on my to do list for the next week? What’s my focus? Are there things on the long run that I need to start working on?

Reflection keeps you on track but also allows you to think about what you learned in the process.

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writetastic

3 years ago

Read this if you want study motivation!

• There’s a reason you’re studying what you’re studying. It’s is fun, it’s enjoyable, it’s something you like. Your studies aren’t a chore, they’re a hobby! Try to see them that way!

• Taking notes? Yay! Perfect opportunity to let your creativity flow! Now, you don’t have to have a journal you make super fancy, handwritten, colour coded notes in (don’t get me wrong, I love those, and bless the people who post pictures of theirs but grr! it’d just take me too much time!) - you can create a Google Docs document and use some fun fonts and add some pretty aesthetic pictures! Works just as well! And it’s fun!

• No matter how you’ve decided to be creative, the act of creativity itself will give you both a sense of accomplishment and of purpose (which is something I - and I suspect quite a few other people - struggle with sometimes). Yeah, it might take up a little bit of your time, but it’s totally worth it long-term because once you’re done you have a super pretty document/journal that will up the ~vibe~ every time you sit down to study! Besides, it’s totally up to you how much time you want to spend on your little project.

• The excitement you feel when you encounter the stuff you’ve learned out in the real world is amazing. I still remember when I was twelve and a friend and I were baking and were overjoyed about being able to say “hey, this is an emulsion! this is what we talked about in chemistry!” and oh my god you feel so nerdy and so smart and happy and it’s great.

• Studying really gives you a way of seeing life in a new light. It makes you so much more appreciative of the little things. If you study biology you’ll suddenly think about vacuoles when you’re watering your plants, study prejudice and racism and you’ll suddenly be able to tell when someone’s being an ass and have the tools to call them out on it like a boss, study psychology and chuckle at the cheesy commercial using psychologically appealing colours to try to get you to buy things, study geology and smile because now you’re able to tell that “that’s metamorphic rock”. Be nerdy and suddenly the world is filled with wonders.

• Getting started is one of the most difficult steps. Or rather, that period of time right after you’ve gotten started when you get to the point of “oh, I don’t immediately know everything there is to know in this field. hm.” or “what do you mean I won’t establish my own superior drawing style after just one drawing”. Many of us want things to flow when we learn. We don’t want it to be too difficult, or take up too much time and effort, or require too much dedication. We’d rather skip the step of having to learn how to ride the bike because, well, it’s annoying and kinda boring, and rather head straight to the part where we zoom down a hill like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I’m so sorry to break this to you, but you’re gonna have to know how to maneuver the thing before you reach the “wind in my hair” phase.

• How do you make it through the boring and annoying stuff then? I’d say focus on the very things I’ve written about in this post. Focus on why you decided to try the thing out in the first place; what was it that pulled you in? What goals do you want to reach? Focus on the fact that this is something you want to do - like to do! - and not something you have to do. Focus on appreciating the things you learn rather than solely focusing on what you haven’t learnt yet; take that newfound knowledge and rant to a friend, rant to your family, rant on your tumblr or in your journal. You know stuff! You’ve learnt stuff! How amazing is that?!

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writetastic

3 years ago

“The only thing we can bring with us to heaven, is other people.”

— something I heard at church today that hit my heart right where it needed to (via @lovechangeseverythang)

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writetastic

3 years ago

Mindset

You can have anything you want if you’re willing to give up everything for it. If you honestly want to live lavish, be drenched in designer couture, go on exotic vacations, you can. If you want something badly enough, you can find a way to get it. It might be harder for you. You may have to get it a different way than other people, but you will to find a way to achieve what you want. You live the life you chose, even if it’s not the life you say you want. I apologize for being harsh but victimhood, making excuses, and pitying yourself will get you nowhere. I gave up my entire life to be able to live how I do now. My family doesn’t speak to me because of my choice to do better. Most of my friends, the same. I don’t care. I value money, material things, opulent experiences, and financial freedom higher than I value people who don’t care to see me happy or fulfilled. I have made sacrifices. I have given up once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. What haven’t made, is excuses. I don’t feel bad for myself. I don’t play the victim because quite frankly, no matter how you frame it, I’m not. On that note, you’re probably not either. I’m not discounting anyone’s trauma, but it’s not an excuse to let yourself fail and in return hate others who forced themselves to succeed. If you want to do something, go make it happen. Stop making excuses. Stop blaming your trauma. Stop blaming the situation you were born into. Stop saying you can’t, or it doesn’t work like that for you, or you’ll never be able to do that because it’s just not true. There are things in this world that you cannot control. But you do have complete control over the way in which you chose to live your life. Manifest it. Align yourself accordingly. And start doing the things you want to do. Start being the person you say you want to be.

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writetastic

3 years ago