I’m Jealous Of Those Who Can Function Like A Normal Human Being. They Don’t Have Anxiety Holding

Sometimes autism is stimming

Sometimes autism is sensory overload

Sometimes autism is rejection sensitivity dysphoria

Sometimes autism is infodumping

Sometimes autism is special interests

Sometimes autism is losing sleep

Sometimes autism is fits of rage

Sometimes autism is depression

Sometimes autism is anxiety

Sometimes autism is never being able to live independently

Sometimes autism is not understanding social cues

Sometimes autism is getting bullied

Sometimes autism is struggling in class

Sometimes autism is gifted kid burn out

Sometimes autism is not being able to hold a job

Sometimes autism is being discriminated against, infantalized, scorned, and mocked.

Sometimes autism is finding the truly good people in life by only accepting people who accept you

Sometimes autism is long lasting friendships

Sometimes autism is so much love but with no words to express it all

Sometimes autism is not being able to hold conversations

Sometimes autism is hard.

Sometimes autism is beautiful.

But autism is ALWAYS a disorder. There are good parts along with the bad, but it ALWAYS causes disorder to one's life, even in the good times. That, and it can be absolutely soul crushing sometimes. There are genuinely autistics out there that can never live independently because of their autism. They aren't making excuses. And they should not be silenced for this new movement that seems to think autism is all fun and games.

Disclaimers:

I am a diagnosed autistic

I have family that's autistic

I tried not to use too many stereotypes, and instead included most of what I experieced plus some things I've seen around the community.

Not every autistic is the same, and some will experience most of these, while others will experience less. That is normal.

DO NOT self diagnose off of my Tumblr post. If you resonate with any of these, please go do some actual research, and IF YOU HAVE THE MEANS, go talk to a professional.

i crumble completely when you cry

ph! katsuki bakugou x fem! reader summary: this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen, but sometimes mistakes yield the best results contains: proposal!! (for @/pityslash <33), kinda ooc soft bakugou but im blaming it on him getting a concussion, mentions of injury, lots of fluff hehe word count: 1.8k words masterlist

Katsuki awoke to a darkened room with white, tiled speckled ceiling cut into rectangles and an IV in his arm; you were sleeping in the plastic chair at his bedside, head leaning against the wall and your mouth slightly open. It was probably about two or three in the morning, judging by the dimmed light coming from the hospital hallway.

Fuck.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

He shifted around slightly under the thin sheets, grunting as he tried to move his (apparently broken) right arm to fit in the pocket of his hero costume. A sigh of relief pushed past his lips when he felt the little velvet box still stashed away, thankfully left untouched.

And god– fuck did his head hurt… but this wasn’t how the night was supposed to go.

You were still dressed up — makeup and all, heels sitting next to you on the floor, the pretty black satin dress he watched you show off before you both left for dinner: now bunched up in your lap between your palms as you slept. 

You were definitely going to complain about the crook in your neck when you woke up from the way your head was angled against the wall. You should’ve just gone home and slept properly in bed: but he knew arguing with you would’ve been fruitless — you’d refuse to leave his side like you always did. 

Katsuki let out a small huff as he stared back up at the darkened ceiling.

This was supposed to be your anniversary. He had it all planned out: flowers, dinner, taking a walk through the park near the apartment to get ice cream, proposing in the little ramada he’d gotten Hanta and Eijirou to decorate with fairy lights and flowers. His mother’s old engagement ring was what he’d nervously tucked away into his suit pocket earlier that evening; she’d given it to him the first time you met her — as if she just knew the outcome of your relationship. 

And yet, not even halfway through dinner he’d gotten a call about a villain spiraling out of control. 

He knew his apology was lacking when he pushed himself up from the table, telling you he’d be back as fast as he possibly could; and he could tell how disappointed you were at the fact he was leaving despite how you playfully urged him to hurry before you ate all the dessert without him.

He’d slipped the ring in his costume pocket thinking he would make it back in time for your walk in the park — but that went out the window the second he was caught off guard and blasted through an apartment building.

You shifted slightly, against your spot on the wall. Katsuki almost thought it was because he was thinking too loud.

Your eyes opened after a moment or two, and blinked once or twice at him before realizing his eyes were also open.

“You’re awake?” you asked groggily, scrubbing your eyes before pulling yourself up from the chair. “Let me go get the nurse–”

“S’fine,” he stopped you before you could get out the door, lifting his head off the pillow because he knew you would come over and scold him for it.

Shit he felt dizzy.

“Don’t move right now,” you chastised him — immediately abandoning your mission to rush back to his side and help him lay his head back down on the pillow. “Is that comfortable?”

“Yea,” he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. “Don’ get the nurse yet… I don’ really want more fuckin’ needles in my arm right now.”

“...fine.” You pressed your lips together, concealing the lecture he knew you wanted to spew: him never being careful when he promised he would be being main point among those you wanted to address — yet you pulled the hard, plastic chair you were sitting in up to the bed and leaned against the mattress.

“...do you feel dizzy?”

“Yeah.”

“You got a concussion from your fall,” you turned your head to look towards the side, and he couldn’t see your expression anymore in the dimmed light from the lamp next to his bedside. “You also broke your arm from landing on it.”

“You saw?”

“It was on the news.”

You sounded on the verge of tears. He needed to apologize. He’d ruined your night.

“M’sorry,” he let his left hand drift over to where yours was laying on the bed next to him, his fingers catching between your own — grabbing you out of your dazed attention — “M’sorry I ruined our night.”

“You didn’t ruin anything Katsuki,” you shook your head, but he could hear the little edge of pain in your voice. “It’s not your fault… I was just worried.”

“I did, though,” he continued. “Tonight was s’posed to be just us walkin’ through the park n’ getting ice cream.”

“You had it all planned out huh?” You finally faced him again, tired eyes and a small, sad smile on your lips. 

“F’course I did, would y’expect anythin’ less from me?” 

“Of course not,” you humored him, bringing his knuckles up to your lips before planting a kiss over a small scab and pressing your cheek against it — staring faraway, somewhere his mind could never find yours.

“Why didn’t you go home?” he rubbed his thumb against yours. “Could’ve changed and been comfortable.”

You let out a small huff — “I couldn’t just leave you here. I didn’t want you to wake up alone.”

“You didn’t have to worry about me, baby. Y’should’ve slept comfortably at home, come and seen me in the morning.”

You didn’t answer; instead, pressed another kiss against his knuckles before letting his hand come back down to the bed.

“If you saw what I did, you wouldn’t be saying that.” — was all you left it at — you tried to get up to get the nurse, but he didn’t let your hand go. “Katsuki–”

“Just let me be a lil’ longer,” he slurred, drowsily. “Come lay down with me.”

“Kats–”

“Please.”

“How could I–”

“Please.” He repeated, and you gave up to the pleading look in his eyes. “Can’t sleep properly without you there.”

He shifted himself over slightly, watching you hold your tongue once again with a little snort, before patting at the spot next to him. You climbed up slowly, carefully, trying to be as light as possible to not let the little hospital bed creak under both your weights — letting yourself melt next to him, your hand resting over his chest. You didn’t say anything, just nestled yourself into his shoulder with a yawn.

Something about the way you were positioned made it feel like you were hesitant to touch him — as he was as fragile as glass. Even with your fingers resting over his abdomen, he barely felt them there.

“What’s got your mind all worked up?” he asked after what felt like hours of silence.

“...nothing.”

“I know when yer overthinkin’ baby.”

You looked up to him, sad eyes and all. “I was really worried.” You sniffed, burrowing yourself back next to him. “I was just sitting in the restaurant finishing my food until I got a notification on my phone about the news — and I clicked it and saw the video of you being blasted through the building. There was so much debris, I almost thought–I don’t know what I thought… It felt like I couldn’t breathe or–or think… I just ran out of there as fast as I could so I could get to the hospital. And then, when you wake up, your first concern is that you ruined the night?” You huff, angrily and under your breath but you didn’t let him see it. “I can’t believe you sometimes…” 

“M’sorry,” he repeated, this time drowsily— despite the disapproving click you let out in response, he wrapped his arm around you: rubbing small circles in your arm to soothe the tension you continued to let off. These situations were the only times you both switched roles; the only time he was the one who had to calm you down when usually it was the opposite.

“Stop saying that.”

“I am though,” he continued anyway. “For making you worry and cry when I should’ve been careful. I got a little reckless tryin’ to get back to you quickly. I just… didn’t wanna leave you stranded there.”

“You didn’t need to do that,” you almost scolded him. “I’m used to it, I understand what your job is like.”

“Told you though, I had it all planned out n’ shit — stupid bastard ruined it all…”

“It’s okay,” you pacified him. “It was just dinner, we can always go out another time.”

“It wasn’t just dinner though…” He stopped himself from continuing, but looking down at your furrowed brow knew that he’d have to give an explanation. 

“We’ve talked about marriage before—” he started again after a moment of silence. A moment to catch his breath, to let his racing thoughts and heart subside slightly. “—about us staying together like this because we couldn’t really ever see ourselves with anyone else.”

You nodded.

“And I thought–I knew that we were both ready… So I was gonna propose.”

You didn’t say anything, and he didn’t dare look down at your face — not when he could feel the heat rushing up to his face like he was about to pass out.

“I uh, had this whole speech planned out n’ everything,” he stared at the ceiling once more. “Even had Ei n’ Hanta set up flowers and candles in the park near that cherry blossom tree we always picnic near.”

You still didn’t say anything.

“M’sorry for just bringing it up now, and spoiling the surprise ‘cause I could’ve just done it later…”

“...are you really apologizing for telling me that you were going to propose?” you spoke after a moment. 

He could hear the slight crack in your voice, and he looked down to see that his suspicions were correct — you were crying.

“Don’ cry,” he tried to wipe them with fail because he could only use one arm. “You know I get sad when you cry.”

“I can’t help it.” 

 “I know that this isn’t where you probably expected to get proposed to, but everything I said is true — I wanna spend the rest of my life with you n’ get those little moments with you. N’ honestly, as long as we have that, I don’t think it matters where this shit happens.” He shifted around slightly, before you could stop him: sitting up to properly face you and pulling a little velvet box out from his pocket. “Marry me?”

“Of course I will,” you tried to wipe away your tears before falling into his embrace — pausing after he let out a hissing sound. “I’m calling the nurse for real now.”

You blink languidly, and all you see is light. When you fell asleep, that information evades your mind. All you see is light and whiteness, and you don’t know where you are, or what you’re supposed to do. You remember a long dream, fields of daffodils and dewy meadows, and a voice deep and haunting like a nightmare.

The Deity of Dreams has awoken.

It's the year 2524, and you're a defeated God/Goddess/Deity in a place and time where your kind is rarely needed anymore. After being locked away and thought to be dead for nearly a millennia, you wake up.

Features

Customize your God/Goddess/Deity of dreams.

Retrieve (or not) your now metaphorical throne, stolen by your killer, the God of War and Discord.

Explore and survive in a futuristic and very posthuman world. A world so much different from the one you were pried from.

Blend among mortals, pretend to be one of them— whether you embrace that side of you or not is up to you.

Get your power back after a thousand years of slumber.

Romance or befriend a cast of six characters.

Poly options: Dawn/Bruno, Eris/Dawn, A/Seth.

Characters

Dawn (she/her) • THE REBEL

A rebel and a hacker. Possibly the sole reason you’re awake today, too. She hates deities but seems desperate to get rid of the God of War, even if that involves working with you.

Bruno Lee (he/him) • THE HISTORIAN

Bruno may call himself a historian, a curious old soul in search of unveiling the secrets of the past. But given the fact that he's the only other being locked away with you, there must be more to him.

Vex (they/them) • THE CYBORG

Vex—who also goes by V—is a law enforcer who seems to be more metal than flesh. They represent the crude reality that time has moved on without you. Though V claims they're loyal to their God of War, they've been roped along to help their little sister Dawn.

Amara/Aiden/Asher Moonless (she/her he/him or they/them) • THE LOST ONE

Your memory fades and wavers but you remember A (how could you not). You know they're not the same person you were oh so close to so many centuries ago, but their similarities are eerily noticeable.

Estelle ‘Eris’ Lawrence (she/her) • THE CELEBRITY

Also known as The Voice, Eris is an actress, singer and model. She's every teenager’s daydream, the vivid representation of rags to riches. And, according to Dawn, a valuable ally to have by your side.

Seth (he/him) • THE GOD OF WAR

Your killer and enemy. You knew him once, or so you thought. All that your relationship with him got you was a sword through your chest.

DEMO

so I go to animation school now

Just casual conversation. 

-> Demo

-> RO Appearances

-> Vibe Playlists

-> Blog Rules and FAQ

-> Ko-fi

“It’s funny how history decided to repeat itself with you.”

Who knew a simple handshake of the past would become an unwanted problem in your life?

You’ve become one of the witnesses to something you shouldn’t have in the hallway of Lumintoile Academia. In exchange for your silence, you both have been brought in as honorary members to The Elites. The Student Council are those Elites in this school of yours, with power and charisma at their fingertips, they are the paragons of what a Lumintoile student should be.

So it’s a wonder why they’re committing to something they shouldn’t be sticking their noses into.

Like, say perhaps, a missing person’s case?

You’re unsure why they want you and your fellow witness’ help on something that shouldn’t be your problem anyway. All you want to do is to keep your record clean and last your final high school year without a scratch on you.

Unfortunately, the rabbit hole only seems to go deeper.

With time running faster, academics piling, mental health deteriorating, secrets unraveling, and lies exposing themselves, the urge to take a nap has never been any more greater.

Cheers, my friend, for you’ll be graduating high school with a pathetic battle cry for your sanity.

Cheers to The Elites is an urban fantasy, mystery, thriller, supernatural, slice of life IF that will be written in Twine. The story takes place in the fictional country of Rosedale in the modern age, and is rated 18+ for heavy topics such as: abuse (emotional, psychological, implied physical), violence, blood, graphic gore (specifically plant body horror, general body horror, mutilation, & dismemberment), mentions & use of alcohol, mentions & talks of death, self-harm & self-destructive tendencies, mentions, talks & attempts of suicide, unhealthy coping mechanisms, instances of bullying

• Customizable MC—appearance, sexuality, pronouns, and all that jazz!

• Learn magic? Maybe? If the Vice President allows it?

• Find out the secrets the Student Council and the academy holds

• Romance 1 of the 6 RO’s—3 females, 3 males—or form platonic bonds with all of them!

• Get your very own Familiar!

• Choose your history with two of the RO’s

• Leave highschool with a bang

~•~•~

->Their Birthdays

->Important canon bits

• Weylyn Rutherford the President (18, M, Demisexual Demiromantic)

The good boy next door. He’s your neighbor in the local neighborhood you both live in. A kind and patient guy that helps around your family every once in a while with a smile on his face. Not as smart or athletic as the Vice President or the Treasurer, but he’s trying his best. Weylyn tends to disappear randomly a day or two each month, and comes back like nothing happened with an excuse that he’s just visiting a relative. Yeah, totally explains why his eyes seem to glow a bit brighter for a few days.

“Ah, jeez, you didn’t have to do that. You’re going to make me blush!”

~•~•~

• Fleur Heartstein the Vice President (17, F, Bisexual Greyromantic)

A rich heiress to a family owned bank, she’s the epitome of the “Top of My School” game. Always with high academic achievements and grades, multi-talented, boys and girls swooning over her left and right; she is the girl everyone either dreams or envies. Despite her popularity in the school, her demeanor screams of a distant figure that’s only praised for what she is. Calm, cold, quiet, people like her are known to hide and say so much more under the surface. Is that blood and petals in her coughs?

“I’m surprised you even want to talk, let alone to me.”

~•~•~

• Zephyrine “Zeph” Vel Delle the Secretary (17, F, Pansexual Panromantic)

The ever excitable and cheery Secretary of the Council. The one to bring the fun and excitement on a bleak or boring day. One for makeup and fashion, she’s the gal who’ll ask if you can let her paint your nails or test a new eyeshadow she bought on you. She’s everyone’s best friend, if you may. Despite the giddy and somewhat airheadedness in the way she appears, there is a side you've yet to see from her. And you don't know if you can handle it.

"Oh, look at that, we're holding hands! Does that mean we're dating now?"

~•~•~

• Eliseo De Loughrey the Treasurer (18, M, Bisexual Aroflux)

The bad boy of the Student Council, an irony for being part of a paragon of the Lumintoile perfect student. Often found smoking in the old classrooms of the 7th floor or flirting with some random girl or guy in the campus. A smug demeanor, and known to tease, any annoyance towards him is usually gone by sweet words and a smile. Open with everything in his life, even the unnecessary bits, is he as transparent as he seems?

"You're a little adorable thing, aren't you?"

~•~•~

• Cooper Lockhart the ??? (17, M, Aceflux Biromantic)

Someone from outside of Lumintoile. Not much is known about him, but the fact that Fleur's seen with him all the time outside of school. He doesn't look like anyone you've seen around the neighborhood. With an attention span that is always drifting off somewhere and with a hyperactive attitude, it's a wonder Fleur sticks with him. Maybe he's some foreigner friend visiting, or maybe something more sinister is afoot.

"Aww, come 'ere and let me bless you with hugs!”

~•~•~

• Ophelia Edevane the batchmate (18, F, Greysexual Panromantic)

A new friend you met through Zephyrine. She's an unusual one from the next classroom over. Head stuck in fantasy books, she longs for something well... magical to happen in her life. Gullible and easily awestruck, an academic to the unknown and mysterious. A researcher if you may, always getting her head into dangerous things just to learn them. Though it's a bit alarming at how calm she is about it all. It could be a façade, for all you know.

"Oh, there you are! Come on, I want to check something out with you!"

• Murphy Heartstein (16, M)

One of Fleur’s adoptive younger brothers in the 10th grade. A socialite and fairly popular in his grade. Part of the school’s basketball team, and often found playing basketball during lunch.

~•~•~

• Ziyad “Z” Heartstein (16, M)

Murphy’s twin brother and the slightly lesser known brother. Just as quiet as his older sister, and often found in the library either reading or playing chess with Fleur.

~•~•~

• Chiffon (31, M)

The butler of the Heartstein family. He’s an aloof and frank man, always seen picking up and dropping off the Heartsteins via limo. 

~•~•~

• Evelyn Lockhart (24, F)

Cooper’s older sister. She drops by every now and then to check up on him. Charming and just as mysterious as her brother with a permanent smile on her face.

~•~•~

• Shiki Chikafuji (???, NB)

They call themselves a friend.

DEMO ☯︎ FAQ ☮︎ DIRECTORY ♪

Nate Nicks has disappeared.

Why should you care? Do you?

You probably should, considering he's the face and host of your extremely popular radio show and you've just landed one of the biggest contracts of your careers.

You are a sound tech engineer and a damn good one at that, while Nate was the face you were the sound, usually your work is strictly behind the scenes, except for the odd occasion when you were needed on air. So when Nate goes missing and you're tasked with filling in his shoes you're practically thrown in at the deep end.

It only gets worse after a missing persons case becomes a murder case and the cast and crew of Radio Kathryn and FloNote Ent become the suspect pool...

RADIO KATHRYN is rated 18+ for explicit language, explicit sexual scenes and references, themes of death and blood, use of alcohol and drugs, physical abuse and violence. please check trigger warnings.

The setting of the 70s is purely for aesthetic and technology. Don't expect era—accurate racism or homophobia as it won't be included in this IF.

FEATURES ☯︎ [ Trigger Warnings ]

fully customise your MC! name, gender&pronouns (M/F/NB), appearance, personality

decide your on air persona──can you hack it in the limelight or will you crack under the pressure?

build your relations──do you get along with your fellow teammates? how about your fanbase? or your company?

+your radio teams backstory──how the four of you (Nate, José, Mica and yourself) got along, created the pirated radio show, how you got signed into legality, how everything went to shit... or not?

romance someone (or not)──featuring eight solo routes and two poly routes OR just enjoy the mystery and figure out a murder!

chose paths that affect the game──your choices matter, and the ending you may or may not get is dependent on them.

decide which kathryn is your mother──and your relationship with her. (Catherine, Kate, Cathy, Katherine or Rynnie)

CHARACTER BREAKDOWN ☮︎ [ RO Intros ]

The Man, The Myth, The Legend. [???]

“Nate Nicks” Nathan Nicholson──he/him. 28. Radio Kathryn's host and front man, adored by thousands. Complete arsehole but somehow it makes him endearing to others. Cocky son of a bitch that let fame get to his head... or is he? Nevertheless, he's missing now and you may have something to do with it.

think a mix between gauge burek and chris veres in druck (2019)

The Benefactor.

“Mr Robinson” Lionel Robinson──he/him. 42. The man who funded your radio show, the one who got you to where you are. Kind, calm and considerate, especially with Nate. But every one has a line to cross at some point and Mr Robinson is not someone to get angry.

think chad michael murray in sullivan's crossing (2023)

The Fiancé. [RO]

“Eva Vidal” Evangeline Vidal──she/her. 25. The woman who's been there from the beginning, your first listener, your first fan. You used to be closer but Nate sunk his teeth in her and pulled her away. You watched her steadily lose her glow and for someone engaged she seems quite jaded at the news of her missing fiancé.

think penélope cruz in vanilla sky (2001) or vicky christina barcelona (2008)

The Best Friend. [RO]

“Mica Hollens” Michael/a Hollens──he/him, she/her. your age (24─28). Your voice of reason in the chaos of life and Radio Kathryn's manager. Your support system and rock, even if they are a bit quick to jump the bullet in your honour. Mica has strong opinions and Nate has never been in their good books, but surely they wouldn't do anything to jeopardise your job.

think tanaya beatty in through black spruce (2018) or alex meraz in mine games (2012)

The Detective. [RO]

“Detective Han” Han Jimin──he/him or she/her. 30. The detective assigned to Nate's missing persons case. They are meticulous and goal oriented and their current goal is figuring you and your work family out. The more you resist the more they're intrigued and the more you help the more you unravel them.

think lee soohyuk in tomorrow (2022) or lee siyoung in sweet home (2020)

The Rival DJ. [RO]

“José Danger” Jose/phine Jeager──she/her or they/them. 26. Nate calls them the traitor─the defector. They used to be part of your team, a co-host with Nate in your beginning days. The two of them worked like magic until Nate was in demand more and José was kicked to the curb. You wonder if the festering grudge they left with is still there... and if it still extends to you.

think zazie beetz in deadpool 2 (2018) or wounds (2019)

The "Hater". [RO]

“Ji Han” Han Ji Young──he/him. 23. The younger brother of Detective Han. Ji Han is not a fan of Nathaniel Nicholson but he is a fan of the songs he plays─or rather the ones you play when he's absent. He's taken the utmost interest in his siblings case, suspiciously enough to become entangled in it more than anticipated.

think a mix of choi san (2022-23) and lee dohyun in 18 again (2020) or the glory (2022)

The "Fan". [RO]

“Fauve” Faye─Mauve Langham──she/her. 25. Fauve is a bit of a groupie, she can admit. She's not totally obsessed with Radio Kathryn, she reasons, she's just invested in the show and even more so in the people behind it. Fauve become more involved in the case of Nate Nicks than she's wanted, leaving you to wonder just what it is that keeps her going─even to the edge of insanity.

think a mix of imogen poots in need for speed (2014) and hayden panettiere in nashville (2012-18)

The Family Man. [RO]

“Mr Lewis” Jackson Lewis──he/him. 33. The night shift receptionist-slash-building coordinator. He usually brings his daughter to sit in on show recordings, seeing as she's got a bit of a crush on Nate─he's a no-bullshit kind of man but his soft spot is his daughter's puppy dog eyes. He just so happens to be the last person to see Nate before he disappeared and you can't help but get the feeling he's not being truthful in his statement about it.

think brian tyree henry in eternals (2021) or atlanta (2016-22)

The Question Mark. [???]

"Who?" ??? ???──unknown.

it'll be revealed later!

©️ bonnie berry 2023────@moretinyideas

──the polymances are between eva and ??? (eva???) as well as fauve and ji han (fauhan)!

──this is totally inspired by episode 2.8 of sister boniface "dead air" but other than the idea of a radio show called Radio Catherine there are no other similarities!

Pls reblog if u vote :)