Kenny Mccormick Never Beating The Transfem Nonbinary Allegations

twitter liked this so here you go

craig is both the most efficient and the most disquieting customer service worker. he will say “what do you want?” and then nothing else, he’ll walk away silently in the middle of you asking a question because he already knows what you’re asking, he doesn’t smile, he doesn’t tell you to have a good day or ask how you are, the only time he’ll talk to you is if he absolutely has to or if you’re doing something that pisses him off like your baby won’t stop crying (“can you shut that up?”) or you keep asking for more ketchup (“no. you’ve had enough.”) but there is also no employee who will get you what you need faster. you will never be in and out of a location at a more efficient speed because he is GREAT at what he does. he does NOT want you to be there nor does HE want to be there. if you don’t tip he will loom silently over your table until you do.

nobody knows the context for any of this but craig gets a intense short lived infatuation with stan during the month he and tweek are trying being open and it makes him want to die so badly it starts with him cyberstalking stan and not understanding why he’s doing it until he catches himself grinning too hard at a mirror selfie and he’s like oh no. from there he’s constantly sending anons to smarshrares.tumblr.com begging for gym selfies they haven’t posted he’s stalking kylebroflovski on instagram and staring at 2019 posts of stan playing on his nintendo switch shirtless backstage he’s submitting “stan marsh needs to kill himself” to crimsondawnconfessions and not understanding why he gets instablocked bc he meant it in a horny way it’s an all around TERRIBLE situation for him he’s so disgusted with himself. but he can’t stop.

he’s fucking terrified that kyle is going to find out and bring it up on fireside (catg has significantly more dirt on fireside than fireside has on catg and craig KNOWS they’re itching for something to say) and one day craig wakes up to a message from kyle that says “do you find my boyfriend attractive, craig?” and realizes in horror that he’s liked a picture of stan that kyle posted on instagram THREE years ago and didn’t realize it. oh it’s SO OVER. he blocks kyle but the deed is DONE and the next episode of fireside comes out THIS WEDNESDAY. craig listens to the entire next fireside episode and he’s biting his nails waiting for the moment kyle decides to bring up craig liking his old instagram post. but he never does. and craig breathes a sigh of relief thinking maybe he’s going to let it go. and then two weeks later Episode 158: The Talented Mr. Tucker drops and it’s ALL about craig having a crush on stan and craig is looking up Where to buy a gun los angeles legal AGAIN

i’m sick of post canon stories about characters getting married and having kids and finding peace when they should actually be getting divorced and abusing alcohol and being suicidal NO MORE HEALING NO MORE RECOVERY YOU ALL NEED TO GET WORSE!!!!!!

headcanon that… princess kenny.. kenny… ken. kenrjetta SHIT. SHITSHITHSITHSITHSITH

what? what was that? princess kenrietta?? what??

he would

i forgot how fun it was to draw comics lol 

kendy

when stan is in an uber he acts like he’s in a psychological saw trap. he scrolls back and forth on his home screen acting like he’s busy, texting kenny random keysmashes to pretend he’s having a real human conversation. he’s squirming in his chair and bopping his head to the music and the driver asks if he likes the song and stan says it’s his favorite even though he’s never heard the song in his life. the driver asks how he’s doing and stan goes “living the dream, boss!” despite never having said this string of words all at once in his life but he panicked.

kenny, on the other hand, is the person who hops in the passenger seat of the uber. he asks for aux and fiddles with the ac like it’s nothing. he places his hand on the uber driver’s thigh and stares at him. sometimes the uber driver places his hand nervously over kenny’s. they ride quietly and tenderly until kenny reaches the abortion clinic that he’s meeting a hookup from a couple weeks ago at and kenny gets out of the car, but not before placing his hand on the driver’s cheek and whispering: “maybe in another life, anthony:” they both give each other 5 stars.

actually craig is canonically peruvian and yeah and if you make him white it’s actually illegal and the fucking cops will have to arrest you. sorry.

That one @buttfrovski post about redrawing creek yaoi

Original drawing: