Dazai X Would've Could've, Should've (Taylor Swift)

"Human nature is hard to understand. Humans themselves don't understand their true natures. It's the people who do, are the one's to fear. I know I have a dark side, I indulge in it beacuse it's who I am. Tell me, why do you have to be good in a world with such bad people?

Everyone underestimates me as some pushover who does whatever anyone tells her to do. They talk freely around me, because I am not a threat. They laugh at my awkwardness. They think they have power over me.

I have calculated my interactions to an extent that I have no enemies and been so cautious about whom I talk with, I have no friends. But that doesn't matter, I know what I want, I get what I want, life while cruel has always worked out for me in the end. I have fears, yes, but I also know that I have the potential to do immense good or bad. It's your choice, if you are not in my way, you will be alright. If you challenge me, it won't end good for you."

~Emma Wright, A Girl In The Crowd (my debut novel, hasn't been published yet)

*1:00 Am, Lupin Bar, Dark Era*

Dazai: are blind dates made for blind people?~

Oda:.......*stare*

Ango: of course not, Dazai. You know that already! It's for people who meet up without seeing or knowing each other

Dazai: is a group date considered an orgy?~

Oda:........*stare*

Ango: WTF. No. Why are you asking that? How much have you drunk?

Dazai: what about host clubs, are they a front for prosti---

Ango:-----not another word. What is wrong with you kid?

Oda:.........*stare*

Dazai: I thought I could ask you for romantic advice and some knowledge on the adult world~

Ango: these are not questions about romantic advice. Why are you asking us about it? And Oda are you gonna say anything or are you too drunk to?

Oda, dozing off:........

Dazai: I asked you two because you two are dating, right! Who else would I ask, except a couple in love~

Ango: WE ARE NOT DATING

Oda, opening his eyes:.........*stare*

Ango, massaging his temples: Oda don't stare at me like that and Dazai for the love of God stop laughing!!!!!

I don't want a boyfriend (not yet; I am not emotionally mature enough to have one), I just want a guy I can drag around to everywhere I go without either of us getting romantic feelings.

Just pals being pals

If INTP was in The Office:

INTP: My job as a sales person made me realise how much I hate people

(Looks sideways from camera at the cameraman)

INTP: I hate when people are prying into my life.....cuz guess what? I have nothing interesting in it....except Pam, Pam is awesome.

(Gets questioned if he likes Pam)

INTP: No, not really. I like her a lot, which is surprising since I don't like many people here *mouths Angela*

INTP: now Pam and I are good friends, I do believe she hates her fiance tho...but what can I do about it?

(Gets questioned about his work)

INTP: I come late everyday, Dwight is always mad at me being late, I don't care much. I check in my computer and play Pac man while talking to stupid clients like an idiot selling paper which won't be useful in a future paperless world.

INTP: then I take a 2 hour break and pretend to be friends with Micheal to justify my 2 hour break.

INTP: I have lunch in my car so I won't have to see Kevin eating 4 tuna sandwiches in one go.

INTP: I spend time with Toby, he is like the only normal person here. We sit down and mumble about our misery.

INTP: I hate Andy, he is so annoying, I have to hide in the bathroom to avoid his constant brags about Cornell. I mean I went to Yale, and now I am a paper salesman *shrugs* this is always how it ends.

(Gets questioned about Jim and Pam)

(Looks at the camera)

INTP: everyone knows they are in love. It's not even a question at this point.

I don't get how some people can eat whatever they want and not feel guilty about it......

I love how BSD went from a story about a detective agency fighting against crimes by the help of their supernatural abilities, helping an abandoned orphan who finds a new reason to live

To-----Fyodor might be JESUS not even kidding

Atsushi's diary:

"Dazai-san was telling me I can grow shrimp out of shrimp's tail by planting them. What kind of FOOL he thinks I am, what kind of idiot will believe that at this age? Kunikida-san told me I did nice work today, it made me feel so good that I almost cried. I think I have abandonment issues. Last night, I went to Junichiro-kun's house to return him a bag he lent me, and I heard some weird noises from his house. Note to self- do not go to Tanizaki household alone. Kyouka-chan gets cold really easily, I want to buy her a big fluffy blanket but my savings are running low. Kenji-kun told me he'll give me farm fresh vegetables every two days, that'll save some money, but I do not want to bother him with my problems. Something weird happened today, Yosano-san pulled me aside during lunch, she told me that she is worried about my health. She's always worried about people's health, she is so kind. "You should rely on people more, Atsushi. We all are here for you. It is not good for your well being if you worry about every single thing all by yourself". Yosano-san is a doctor, she knows what she is talking about. But she doesn't know me. Truly. I know myself. I have always been a burden on people. I want to take care of myself now, and of Kyouka-chan. There are so many nice people in the world, I can never be compared to them, I just do whatever I can.

Tomorrow I am going on a mission with Ranpo-san. This is the only time I am not scared. Ranpo-san is childish but he is so reliable"

(ps: this doesn't follow any timeline, only for fanfiction-ey funsies)

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

Bunny: I will not let you down.

Richard: Sounds fun.

Camilla: K.

Francis: No, I'm fucking not.

Charles: Do I have to be?

Henry: Please god, I am so tired.

The sudden feeling you get to just run away from everyday life and have a grand adventure.

*TSH memes from incorrect quotes generator part 2*

____________________________________

Richard : Looking left cause you don’t treat me right

Francis : Looking right because you left

Charles : Looking up cause you let me down

Camilla: Looking down cause you fucked up

Henry: What is wrong with you guys

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Henry : Favorite horror movie?

Richard : It

Charles : Saw

Camilla: Annabelle

Francis: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

____________________________________

Richard : Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Francis : Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Charles : Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Camilla: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Henry: My moral code, is that you?

Richard :

Richard : I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

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