Why does the reader always is white with long blond hair and in short skirt ? Aren't they supposed to be everybody ?
Banner and dividers by me
Hook!Eddie x Fem!Reader
Inspired by the many flicks: Peter Pan (Disney, 1953), Hook (1991) and Peter Pan (2003)
WC: 15.7k
Warnings: +18 Heavy depictions of depression and loneliness, mental health, sui*cidal thoughts, a lot of angst, amnesia, lots of fluff, pining, slight enemies to lovers, kissing and sex insinuation, also you will cry.
Summary: After your Grandmother's passing, you were left with her immense wealth and her big mansion, yet your loneliness didn't let you enjoy this new life, but before you could even begin living in it, you were snatched away, into the second star to the right, by a Captain who has a hook as a right hand.
A/N: I couldn't write anything that wasn't this. I am so sorry if this hurts you, but I just couldn't stop writing. I watched the 2003 flick and the music simply inspired me and I couldn't stop myself. I hope you enjoy this One Shot, AU thing, and I hope to write requests or little one shots of this couple in the future đ
Please support me by hitting that Reblog button! đ
You were in this situation again.
Decisions.Â
Loneliness consumes you in every way possible, the massive marble walls, the columns around every room in the house, or should you say Mansion. This is not something you wanted or desired, but it fell on you and now the things seem too uncontrollable for you to handle.Â
It had no debt, it was well kept, it was tidy, with every room filled with furniture that will collect dust in the next few months, days, hours, minutes and there was no way to stop it because you do not want to waste your inheritance in cleaning services.Â
But no money, no mansion, nothing would compare to the one thing that mattered the most to you. The only person to ever be in your life despite it all, the one person that took you in when your mother decided you were not good enough, the one person that cared enough for you and even loved you as her own.
Your grandmother.
This was your childhood home, the one you spent days running around, playing hide and seek with her until she couldnât walk no more, the one where you invited friends over to your pool, the one where you stayed until you turned 21 and decided on your own place, your own space. Now, you regretted ever leaving.Â
You talked with your grandmother, everyday on the phone, video calling her, and you knew you had just one another. It was just you two, against everything and everyone. You never knew that one day she would decide to go, by her own accord, sleeping peacefully on her bed. She didnât have any illness, just weakness in her bones.Â
And she left everything to you.
Your grandmother had investments, actions, properties, she had it all, ever since a teenager she knew how to handle money well, but it was never about that. You preferred your grandmotherâs baked pies rather than a new Barbie. You preferred your grandmotherâs casserole over a new car, despite her buying you one at 16. You preferred your grandmotherâs company, rather than a big party with friends from school who only wanted to be your friend because they knew you had money.
But now, it was all meaningless. Itâs been two months since your grandmotherâs departure, and this is the first time you would step into the house after everything had finally been settled with legal papers, a cleaning service leaving everything in impeccable state for you to move in.
What are you gonna do here all by yourself?Â
7 bedrooms, a dining room, a living room, a playroom, a kitchen, 3 bathrooms, 3 guest bathrooms, two floors, a pool, a huge backyard, and you were all alone in it.
All alone.
You looked all over the front of the massive staircase, deciding it was time to take your suitcase upstairs and settle in. Your heart aches with the thought of selling the house, because too many memories lingered in here, way too many that now turned into sad ones.Â
You opted for the second master bedroom, nicely decorated with a king sized bed, a big closet on one side and a vanity on the other. A 55â inch screen TV was on the wall, right above a dresser, in front of the bed. Your grandmother seems to have wanted to make the house a little bit more modern, changing the wooden walls with paper, to creamy tones, and delicate touches of wood and gold on the ridges at the bottom. Now technology pieces could be found in every room, and in the living room.
You dropped the suitcase on the floor, and sighed heavily, putting your hand on your forehead. You kneeled to the front small pocket of it to retrieve your xanax pills, the painkillers you got after the news of your grandmotherâs passing. You looked at your watch and saw it was already 7 PM, so you didnât really care if you went to bed early.Â
You stood back up and a tug in your heart made you walk out of your new room, the silence of the house engulfing you entirely as you walked the hallway to the room that was on the other end, passing by all the other ones and turning corners.Â
Your heart was beating loudly, going into your throat as you turned the knob of the room, opening it slowly.
She never touched it.Â
She didnât do anything to her room. Her bed was still in the middle of it, the massive window at front, unlike yours that had two smaller ones on each side of the TV, and hers had a balcony even. Her bed had the same comforter you always loved, a pink floral one. The smell of the room was entirely her. The perfumes were still on her vanity, as well as her vintage makeup, a small library was next to her dresser that had a flower pot on top. Night tables on each side of the bed with their respective lamps.
You walked in, listening to the wooden floor creak under your feet and you sat on the bed, springy, just like you remembered. You bit your bottom lip as the lump in your throat got bigger and bigger but the tears would not come out. They never did. Not even when you received the news, not even at the crematory, not even when they gave you the deed.
Only panic attacks. Because you had realized, you were all alone.
You had no one. No family, no friends, no lover. Not even if you had tried to rekindle your relationship with your mother, who threw you out, at only ten years old, when your grandmother didnât send in the money on time. No friends because your trust issues forbid you of it, and no lover because the last one you had was a leech for your money.
You looked down at the small orange flask that contained the pills inside. You got up and walked towards the bathroom, retrieving a glass from one of the cabinets and filling it with water. You opened the container and looked inside.
Decisions.Â
Always the same critical decision.
One? Two? Three? The whole flask?
Who would miss you? Nancy? She is just an acquaintance that you go out with sometimes. Robin? Just a friend of Nancyâs, she doesnât consider you her friend, no matter if she sends you funny videos or invites you to hang out with her at her house.Â
Your mother? Who tried to contact you after hearing about her Exâs mother passing and didnât hear anything about a deed? Hearing nothing about her share? No, she only missed the money and the things it could get her.
You opened the cap and lingered there. Loneliness is the only thing present in your mind, in your heart, in your whole being and no money can fix that. Nothing can mend it.
Yet you take one single pill out, closing the cap again and putting it inside one of the pockets of your jacket. You chug the pill with the glass of water and look at yourself in the mirror. Your grandmaâs eyes, not your motherâs, not your fatherâs, but your grandmotherâs. You sighed as you stepped out of the bathroom, looking towards the hallway that would lead to your new room.
Yet you decide to go back into your grandmotherâs bedroom. You sat on the bed, memories flashing in front of your eyes as you slowly closed them, remembering the bedtime stories she would tell you for you to fall asleep, right here on her bed. You smiled as you laid down on the springy bed, legs still hanging off of it.
âGrandma, Grandma!â You jumped on her bed after running into her room with tears in your eyes. She was reading a book, propped up on the bed, pillows behind her back to keep herself comfortable and her glasses resting on the bridge of her nose. She was startled by you, and the movement you provoked on her bed.
âYou scared me dear!â She giggled as your 10 year old self hid under the covers right next to her.
âI had a bad dreamâŚâ You sniffed loudly as your Grandmother put her book on her night table as well as her glasses. She pulled the covers off your face to reveal tear stained cheeks that looked up at her. âCan I sleep here?â
âOf course you can love. You know I always enjoy you sleeping here with me.â She softly replies as she scoots closer to you, and you sit up, hugging her waist and your cheek rests on her chest. She wraps her arms around you, rocking gently from side to side, but you are wide awake. There was no chance for you to fall asleep.
âTell me that story again Grandma!â You yell excitedly, looking up at her. She shakes her head with a laugh, looking down at you.
âAgain? I recall telling you that story not many nights ago, little one.â You giggled at her answer and shook your head, a smile on your lips.
âI forgot about it, I want to hear it again!â You counter back at her and she sighs, scooting you closer to her.
âAlright⌠Listen close, okay?â You nodded and rested your chin on her chest as you looked up at her. âWhen I was young, around your age, I met a boy. A boy who came right through that window.â She pointed at the huge balcony that was in front of her bed, the windows open for the summer breeze to go right in.
âWas he cute?â You asked and she glared slightly at you, making you close your mouth for her to continue.
âHe was. His name was Peter. Peter Pan. He flew inside my room, telling me I needed to help him get his shadow back. I really thought this curly headed boy was crazy, until I saw a small thing, coming through the window and flying all over my head. A fairy of some sort, and her name was Tinker Bell.â
âAnd was she pretty?â You asked with sparkles of amazement in your eyes, and she nodded with a smile to her face.
âReally pretty. She put pixie dust on my head and Peter took me flying, all over the city to help him get his shadow back. When we couldnât find it, he asked me if I could help him find it back in his home. Little me, looking for adventure, wanted nothing more than that, so I followed him, to the second star to the right, up in the sky.â
âInto the sky?!â You yelled in excitement and she giggled with a nod.Â
âSoon, I was before an island, and I met three more boys, who were all living with Peter, in the middle of the woods. They were called The Lost Boys.â
âThey are lost?â Your grandma looked towards the window with a distant look on her face and shrugged at you.
âThey do not remember how they got there in the first place, but they didnât mind, because there was a game they always played, a game with a bigger man. A man that had a hook instead of a right hand, a pirate, a captain. This man wanted to capture them, but the boys all treated it as a joke, like a little game of cat and mouse.â Your eyes started feeling heavy as your grandma kept going with her story, a yawn escaping your lips.
âWhatâs his name Grandma?â You asked before slumber took over you, and you could hear the distant voice of your grandmother softly whispering.
âHis name was Captain Hook.â
The painkiller was starting to do its effects in your body, your eyes completely heavy under your eyelids as you remembered that story.Â
Your grandma always had a big imagination, sometimes she read stories from books, sometimes stories from someone else, and sometimes she would invent stories, just like that one, from her own head.Â
Your body sank into the mattress, and you knew you would fall asleep at any time now. You were wishing you wouldnât dream of your grandmother while you were at it, because that would make tomorrowâs decisions a lot harder.Â
Your skin suddenly grew goosebumps from a sudden cold that invaded the room, but maybe it was a side effect from the painkiller. Your eyelids were too heavy for you to open and you really did not care that much to do so, a little breeze never made you sick. The night had simply gone colder, that was it.Â
Your hazy mind was slowly drifting away, the sound of a click in the distance, as well as some heavy boots walking on the wooden floor, creaking. A dream, you were already dreaming, because then you felt the tip of something sharp, along your cheek, but it was gentle, almost a caress.Â
And then, silence.
Warmth. You felt so warm right now. You must have gotten into bed in the middle of your sleep, because you just remember laying flat on the mattress, but now you were cozy under some comforters, sighing with relief at the warmth under them.
You could feel the sun coming from the window. Then some chirping, every now and then, and you just wanted to lay in bed, in this comfortable bed a little while longer. The birds were singing against your window, as well as seagulls calling each other while they flew by, the hit of waves splashing soothing you andâ
Seagulls?
Waves?
And the comforter⌠The comforter smelled like⌠a manâs scent.
Your eyes shot open, the first thing seeing was the wooden cabin you were in, sitting up instantly as your heart beat anxiously in your chest. The bed you were in was double sized, big, with red fur comforters and blankets, and big pillows behind you. You looked around, seeing a very old desk on one side, with a chair and some papers on top. Your breathing starts picking up a pace as you instantly shoot out from the bed to look out the window.
You screamed bloody murder as you saw the sea.
The door flew open and you looked at it to see a man, brown hair with a red bandana on his head, freckles on his face, brown eyes, with a striped shirt and brown shorts. He was gorgeous but he was a fucking stranger, so you looked around to grab the first thing you could find.
A sword.Â
What the actual fuck? You didnât even hesitate to point it at him but you were doubting your sanity at this point. Did the painkiller make you hallucinate shit now? Was it because you didnât eat? Were you still asleep? Did you take one or two? The sword was heavy in your hands, this dream being the most realistic in your whole life.
âUmââ The man put his hands up, looking out the door. âCaptain! Sheâs awake!â You heard him yell and thatâs when you heard the heavy boots walking, right on top of you, making you look up. You followed the sound, moving your head as you now heard the steps going down some stairs, thump after thump.
âYes, I heard her alright Smee.â You heard another man talk, and he walked through the door, his big red hat first, with feathers on top, a red cloak all over him with golden details and gun belts around his waist. He raised his head up, and your breath got stuck in your throat at just how handsome this man was.
Were you this lonely that now you had a pirate fantasy of some sort?
His curly black hair falling over his shoulders, and his mustache and beard covering his face. Brown eyes that were as deep as an ocean looked back at yours, as a smirk formed on his lips, seeing the sword you were holding in your hands. Your knees slightly buckled at the sight but you kept the weapon pointed at the two men.
âNow, now⌠No need to be so aggressive.â He says, keeping the grin on his face and you gulped, shaking your head.
âThis is just a dream anyways, at least Iâm going to protect myself in it!â You yell at him and he raises an eyebrow at you, tilting his head to the side, until he finally smiles and starts laughing out loud, making you frown in a state of absolute confusion.
âSmee! She thinks she is dreaming!â He continued laughing and your brain started working again as Smee started laughing with his âCaptainâ. Where did you hear that name before? Suddenly the black haired man stopped laughing, prompting his crew mate to stop as well. He took a step towards you, getting the sword in between the both of you and your eyes widened when he raised his arm up.
A hook was placed on the blade of the sword, pushing it aside. A hook where his right hand was supposed to be.
âNo need to be feisty Wendy. Not today.â He sharply says and you blinked up at him, shaking your head slowly. No, wait, this is because you remembered your Grandmotherâs story before completely passing out. Thatâs it, thatâs definitely it!
You dropped the sword and looked at the desk, seeing that the papers were actually maps. You rushed towards it, getting hold of a compass, and before Smee could snatch it away from you, you stabbed yourself with the sharp end on your arm. You yelled loudly in pain, throwing it away from you, seeing the small prick you did on your skin, with a drop of blood oozing out.
âCaptain, I think she is crazy.â You hear Smee talking but you were still looking down at your arm. The pain didnât wake you up, in fact, it felt too real. The blood is too real. The cabin is too real. The two men in the room are too real. Your head looked out of the door, which was still open, and it let you see the light shining through it.
You slowly walked towards the door, seeing the light of day coming into view, and before Smee could stop you, his Captain didnât let him, putting his left hand up to hold his stance and let you roam out.
The smell of sea and the sound of seagulls invaded your senses, and then the sun hit your eyes as you took the final step, up on deck. On deck. On a ship. On a pirate ship. Wind blew through your hair as you put your hand over your eyes to cover from the sun, and there it was. An island, there was land, but no buildings, no cities, no houses.Â
You looked up towards the sails of the ship, the main mast, the foremast, the shrouds, the delicate carvings on the wooden rails of the ship. The cannons on each side, but no other crew but the two men you just met. You walked down one of the stairs that were on the side, towards the middle of the ship, and everything was just too real, everything became real.
Because it was.
Fuck, it was real. You were on a pirate ship. In a fucking pirate ship, with men that your grandmother told you about in her stories. Fictional men, or men you believed were fictional, but are real? Does this mean your grandmother met them before?
âWendy, I thought you would remember your stay here. Guess I was wrong.â You hear the man behind you and you turn around sharply, gulping heavily, a frown present on your eyebrows.
âI donât know who Wendy is⌠Please take me homeâŚâ You voice out, in a frightened voice. You didnât know where you were, you had an idea of where you might be, but you didnât want to believe it, not for a single second. If this is a dream, then you were sure you took more than one painkiller this time and you just simply donât remember.
âNo need to play stupid Wendy, years may have gone by for you, but youâre unmistakable.â The man with a hook as a hand walked closer to you, as you stepped back one step, then two, your heart yelling at you to run, but where? There is water all around you, and you donât even know whatâs in it. There might be sharks, and if you remember correctly, crocodiles appeared in your grandmotherâs storyâ
Your grandmother.
Your eyes widened and you could see the captain smiling widely under the shadow of his hat, giving you a nod.
âYes. Those sharp eyes that looked at me with pity.â He says almost with venom in his voice and thatâs when it all clicked.
It was all real. Your grandmotherâs story, your grandmotherâs adventure with Peter Pan and the lost boys, your grandmother who got captured by Smee and brought onboard of the ship. The ship that had a captain at the steering wheel.Â
Captain Hook.
âHoly shitâŚâ You manage to blurt out and Smeeâs eyes widened, looking at his captain as he looked back at his crewmate with a surprised look on his face, almost amused.
âPotty mouth you turned out to have Wendy.â You inspected the man before you, and remembered the story once again. Peter Pan had come to save your grandmother, along with the lost boys, but there was a piece of the story you remembered vividly. She had told you that the Captain didnât look evil, or that held any malice towards the boys.
He just looked lonely.Â
When Peter and the boys finally brought your grandmother back to the island, she had said something to them, something you cannot remember now, and you always remembered this story, it was always in the back of your head whenever you went to sleep, but now your memory was failing you.
One thing was certain.
âI am not Wendy.â You say with a glare in your eyes, even if frightened, but you held your ground. Hook simply chuckled at you incredulously, and shook his head, pointing his hook at you.
âWho are you then?âÂ
Your mouth opened and closed again, voice leaving you completely. Your name. Why don't you remember your name? You knew it before, and now you just donât remember it anymore. Panic was crossed on your features at the realization, and your head started to spiral, breath cutting short, and the world was simply starting to spin.
Voices started going off in your head, warning you to run away, nothing is real, that you were no one right now, that there was no way you could survive here, and the same word repeated again. Alone, alone, alone, alone, alone.
âCaptain!â Smee yells as he rushes to your side as you tumble to the ground, your breathing heavy as you choke for air, clawing at your chest. You need air, but there was plenty, all around you, but the oxygen was not going into your windpipe, no matter how hard you breathed, no matter how hard you were trying, it just wouldnât calm down.
Hook took off his hat, dropping next to you as he propped you on his left arm, and with his hook, he put the hat on your head to shield you from the sun. He knew what was happening to you. Many nights he went through this same process, clawing at his chest in the middle of his sleep, wanting something, wanting to remember, but all he got were blank memories.
âListen to the waves, to the breeze against the sails, to the creak of the boat as it rocks on the sea. Feel it, look up at the wide sky, the clouds slowly moving, and follow them.â You did as told, trying to focus your sight on just one cloud as your chest heaved up and down, trying to regain some control over your breathing.
The cloud moved, it was moving, and you followed it with your gaze, not realizing that your focus was now on that movement rather than trying to get your breathing back at a normal pace again. Slowly, it did, and when you realized that oxygen was getting inside your lungs again, you took a deep breath in, and out again, and repeated the action, finally noticing the shade that was covering you, feeling the heavy hat on your head.
Your focus first was on Smee, who had a worried frown on his eyebrows, his deep brown eyes full of concern. He has seen these episodes on his captain, but he never required help from him, just a jug of water afterwards. So he got up and did just that, running towards the kitchen under the deck.Â
Your eyes landed on another pair of brown ones, now seeing his features perfectly without the hat on his head. His eyes didnât judge you, not in the least, as he held you with his left arm and you realized the closeness of the both of you. You tried to move, feeling your throat completely dry but something sharp on your cheek stopped you. Your eyes widened when you felt the tip of his hook on the plushness of your cheek.
âIf youâre not Wendy⌠Who are you?â He asked, sternly, yet now without any venom in his voice, as if truly believing you are not the person he claims you to be. You blinked as tears welled up in your eyes, slowly shaking your head.
âIâ I donât rememberâŚâ You quietly replied to him, and he just stared down at you, his eyes twitching in thought until you both heard Smeeâs steps coming back up. He dropped on his knees next to you, handing you a jug of wood, filled with water. You sit up, and immediately chug it down, feeling the freshness of it going down your throat.Â
Both men looked at one another and the Captain shook his head at his crewmate, Smee letting out a sigh out of his lips, before worry crossed over his features. Hook looked at you and almost let out a small smile at how ridiculous you looked with his big hat. Too big for your head.Â
You finally put the jug down, and looked forward towards the island. The fact that you donât even remember who you are, actually made your nerves calm down, even if a tiny bit.
âWhere am I?â You asked them and Smee began talking.
âYouâre in Neverland.â You never heard that name before, turning to look at him.
âNeverland?â There was a panging in your chest though, something that was telling you that you shouldnât be here, that this was not your place to be. âCan you take me back home?â
At that Smee winced, looking down at the floor. The Captain sighed, making you turn your head towards him with a worried look on your face. You were not liking the reactions you were getting from them at the mention of âHomeâ. Wherever that is.
âThe only way to get you there, is by flying.â He says and you were staring at him as if he was demented of some sort. âPixie dust. It makes you fly.âÂ
âP-Pixie dust?â You ask again, not really digesting the words you were saying because it sounded so unrealistic but at the same time they didnât. Hook nodded at you and then glared at Smee.
âBut someone! Let Tinker Bell out of her lamp because he believed she needed to spread her wings.â Smee rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.
âItâs not my fault! She was very persuasive!â The brown haired man tried to defend himself and your head was going back and forth on the both of them, like a ping pong match.Â
âShe is a fairy, and we needed her captive in case this⌠shit happened.â Your eyes widened at the curse coming out from the captain. Didnât he call you a potty mouth before?
âFairies create Pixie dust. We used hers in order to bring you here with us.â Smee continued, looking down at the floor, and the puzzle finally assembled in your head. That fairy is gone, whose name sounded familiar, but it was your way out of the island. The heavy pang in your chest from the anxiety you were feeling was almost hurting you as you gulped heavily.
âS-SoâŚ? Iâm going to stay here? Forever?â You ask and look straight into the captainâs eyes. He was looking at you already, and his pupils connected with yours, feeling your anxious feelings and your worry. He shook his head and gave you a sigh.
âAs far as we know Tinker Bell still thinks you are Wendy, and Wendy was a dear friend of Tinker Bellâs friend. As soon as he comes to your rescue, weâll snatch her again.â He says too confident in himself and you scrunch up your eyebrows, looking at him.
âAnd I wonder how long it will take for her to fly away again.â Your snappy attitude made him stare at you as if you had grown a plant over your head as Smee let out a laugh. The Captain gave you a mocking grin with a glare and snatched the hat from your head, not caring if he messed up your hair. He put it back on and rose to his feet.Â
âKeep that attitude and youâll sleep in a cell.â You scoffed and stood up as well, flicking the feather from his hat with the tip of your index finger.
âThe least you can do is give me a bed to sleep in! You kidnapped me, thinking I was someone else, and now, I canât even remember my fucking name!â You yelled at him and Smee was on his feet in a second, his eyes wide at how you were yelling at his captain.Â
Hookâs eyes were staring at the girl, no, the woman before him, and now he knew this wasnât the person he was looking for, yet, your eyes were still the same, and you were at her home. How many years have passed in your time? He took a deep breath in and sighed through his nose, looking towards Smee.
âWe gotta get her some clothes. Take her measurements.â Thatâs all the Captain says before heading back into his headquarters. Your eyes followed his retreating back before the clearing of someoneâs throat snapped you out from your thoughts, making you turn around to face Smee.
âMay I take your measurements?â
The night on the ship was breezy, but warm all the while. You had helped Smee with dinner, chopping up onions and potatoes as he prepared a chicken in the casserole on the metal kitchen that had logs in the oven for heat.Â
And you took that chance to start a conversation with the brown haired boy.
âHow long have you been here?â You ask and the man freezes slightly as he continues to stir the chicken in the pot.
âA long, long while. Time doesnât go by in Neverland.â You frowned at that, because that would mean the man before you was probably a hundred years old, the same as the Captain of the ship. You took a deep breath in to hide your nervousness, to hide the fact that that would be your destiny if you donât get out of here.
âAnd you donât remember anything from before this? Were you born here?â You ask this time, and he stills, blinking down at the chicken. You gulped, realizing you had asked the wrong question and made him uncomfortable, but before you could continue, someone else talks in the kitchen.
âStop asking questions that you really shouldnât care about, and try this on.â You turned around just in time to receive a bunch of fabric thrown into your face. You growled in anger, pushing it off your face to see the captain now wearing a white blouse with puffed sleeves and a few buttons up his collar. A black bandana was around his head instead of the massive hat, and a pair of black slacks and his boots were at his bottom.Â
You almost forgot your anger at the sight.
âWhatâs this?â You asked, looking at the massive pile of⌠clothes?
âGo and try them on, use my headquarters.â You were still dumbfounded looking at the clothes on your arms and he rolled his eyes, grabbing your shoulders to drive you out of the kitchen and into the top deck, the breeze hitting you against your skin. You looked towards where his cabin was, and next to the door of his cabin, there were two more flights of stairs that guided you to the steering wheel.Â
You walked up, and opened his door, closing it behind you. You looked around and saw that the swords were gone, which made you roll your eyes, and then you saw another table that replaced the desk from before. It was an antique sewing machine. You blinked at that, and looked down at your clothes.
The Captain himself made these for you?
You gulped tightly a small lump that appeared in your throat and you started undressing, looking down at your underwear, a deep blush coming into your cheeks. How long were you going to stay here? You cannot use the same panties everyday, and you cannot, not even if you dared, to make Captain Hook make you a pair. Not possible. Youâll go commando while you wash them during the day.
You began putting the clothes on yourself, and just like his but a little tighter, he made you a shirt with puffy sleeves, and then a long brown skirt that hugged you on your waist. It looked like it had layers of the fabric over it as well, making it look a little less plain. You kept your combat boots on and looked at yourself in the mirror.Â
How can any of this be real? It cannot be. It really cannot be, but the fabric of the clothes on you feel way too realistic, and you had a panic attack as well, which should have woken you up. Yet you didnât. Because this wasnât a dream at all, and you were here, wearing pirate clothing in front of a mirror. You look towards his night table and see there was a red bandana on top of it.
You grabbed onto it and copied the way the Captain had it, tight around your head and covering your forehead. You looked at yourself in the mirror, and you couldnât help but giggle, feeling like a little child dressing up for a costume party. Your stomach growled, the smell of the chicken being cooked filling the cabin through the round window.
You walked out of the room and back into the kitchen again, where the Captain was already sitting down at the end of the table, eating a piece of bread while Smee steered the casserole, his back towards you. Hookâs eyes looked up towards you and his chewing immediately stopped. The bread fell on the plate, and he cursed under his breath for acting like this.Â
But you were in fact a woman on his ship, andâ
âItâs that my bandana?â He asks and Smeeâs head immediately snaps towards you with a worried look on his face. You never steal a Captainâs belongings, even if itâs just an apple or a pen, you never do. You shrugged and sat down on the captainâs left, who was still shooting a glare towards you.
âI wanted to have an accessory, plus it hides my greasy hair.â Smee winced at your words, looking at the back of his captainâs head to wait for his explosive reaction, but it never came. He simply sighed, shaking his head and began eating his bread again.Â
âYou donât take my belongings without my consent first.â Hook knew that wasnât the rule at all. You donât even have to ask the Captain for permission to grab something of his, but for some reason he let you. Smeeâs face contorted in confusion and returned to cooking, already done as he prepared the plates.
âSo like, you guys hunt and stuff?â Smee nods as he hands the captain his plate full of food.Â
âYeah, we fish too, and we take water from the lake that has pure natural water from the waterfall.â Smee explains as he prepares the plate for you. He brought it for you and a small âthanksâ came out of your lips. After he grabbed his own plate, he sat down in front of you and at his captainâs right.
You looked around and noticed since this afternoon that there were no more crewmates, and it was just these two men in front of you, so of course questions popped in your head.
âWhy are you two the only ones on this ship?â You asked as the Captain took a potato in his mouth. He glared at you and pointed at you with the knife.
âIf you donât eat in the next ten minutes, Iâll take the plate away from you.â You glared at him but began eating anyway, Smee chuckling under his breath while he ate his food. It was actually delicious, and probably Smee had always been the cook on the ship. You had a smaller portion than the other two men, but it was enough and plenty, so you finished before them.
âIt seems you enjoyed it.â Smee says and you couldnât help but blush slightly at how fast you actually ate, despite the portion being smaller. You grabbed onto your jug and took a gulp, wincing when you realized it was pure rum.
âWhat the fuck!â You pulled it away from your lips as quickly as possible, and the Captain choked as he tried to stifle a laugh. You glared slightly at him, with a squint of your eyes. You donât like your food with alcohol, it is a bad mix.
âWe always have dinner with Rum. Feel free to grab anything else.â Hook says and you scoff with a roll of your eyes, grimacing at the jug. Smee knew you didnât know where the water was, so he got up, grabbed a metal jug this time from one of the shelves and headed towards a barrel with a cork at the bottom. He unplugged it for water to come out and then plugged it again.
He headed back towards you with the water, handing it to you and you shot a warm smile up at him.
âAt least someone is a gentleman around here.â You say out loud, taking a sip of your water as the black haired captain rolled his eyes and then glared at his crewmate who let out a laugh before shutting up. Smee sat back down to return to his food and the Captain did the same thing. You tapped your fingers on your jug and decided you had too many questions to remain quiet. âAre you two⌠you know.âÂ
Both men put the forks and the knives down, well, just one fork down because the Captain used his own hook as one, slowly turning towards you. Hook had a death stare on his face that might as well kill you on the spot and Smeeâs was simply a frown out of confusion.
âIf we are what?â Smee asks while taking a sip of his rum and the Captain glares at him with a shake of his head.Â
âYou know⌠youâre the only ones on the ship⌠Two lonely men at seaââ And that made Smee spit out the alcohol from his mouth at full speed to his side. The Captain pinched the bridge of his nose to contain his laughter, not at all angry at your question because if you say it like that, well⌠it does sound rather compromising.
His smile under his hand did not go unnoticed by you, catching it for the first time as a genuine look on him, and you swear you could see some dimples behind the facial hair. Smee on the other hand was coughing, hitting his chest with his fist to try to get the alcohol down.
âShitââ Smee complains as he takes your jug of water to swallow down the burning sensation in his throat. You cover your mouth to stifle your giggles and you already knew the answer, thanks to their reactions.
âNo. Even if there are no women here, we are not into each other.â You heard the captain say and you thought for a second, tilting your head as he took a sip out of his own jug of rum this time.
âThen, youâre both virgins?â Now water and rum were being spat to their sides, the captainâs spit almost getting you so you scooched away in time. You couldnât help but simply crack up at the situation, both of them red in the face which also gave away their chastity.Â
âYou donât simply ask people you just met if they are virgins.â Smee says as he wipes his mouth with a kitchen towel, the Captain snatching it away from his hand and wiping his own, and a glare was being sent to you from over the fabric.
For some reason, you werenât scared of these two men. Smee seemed genuinely kind and caring, not at all what a pirate should be. Captain Hook though, even if more fierce and more scary looking, he has a kindness behind his eyes that you couldnât quite describe. There was another feeling to him, and even if he threatens you with taking away your bed, or your food, for some reason you know he wonât do that.Â
âSo, there are literally no women here?â You ask and Smee looks at you in thought.
âWell, if you count the Sirens.â Your face lights up at that, smiling widely, eyes glazing with excitement.
âSirens?! You guys have Sirens?! Can we go see them?!â The Captain scoffs with a roll of his eyes as he takes a sip out of his rum before talking.
âWe do, but do you want us to die? You do know what sirens do, right?â Hook asks you and you glare at him, crossing your arms over your chest.
âMaybe they are different here and donât enchant men with their beautiful voices.â You retorted and he just kept looking at you, so you stared back, both of you in a contest that you didnât know what the prize was, but if he wasnât going to look away, you werenât going to either. You werenât blinking, he wasnât blinking. His eyes twitched slightly as he stared into yours, memories flashing in his mind, and he swore not much time had passed.Â
But maybe that was the illusion of Neverland.
For a second you saw the other emotion glazing over his eyes and you knew you could relate to it. Loneliness was displayed in his eyes, as well as disappointment, and he was so tired. Simply tired. That made your eyes burn slightly as your chest clenched from the sudden wave of emotions and you blinked, wincing at the burn as you rubbed your eyes.
âI win.â The Captain says and you couldnât help but giggle, still rubbing your face, because he was following your game all along. Smee raised an eyebrow as he kept an eye on his Captain, who had a small tug on the corner of his lips raised upwards. Smee cleared his throat and the other two people at the table turned to look at him.
âWhat should we call you?â He asked and you blinked, scratching one of your eyes still. A hand came up to grab onto your wrist, warm and soft. You stopped the rubbing and looked up to see the Captainâs left hand grabbing onto you.
âIf you keep rubbing it youâre gonna pop your eye out.â You locked eyes with him, completely shocked by his sudden touch and it seems he now realized he was grabbing you, pulling away as quickly as possible, almost as if he were zapped. You cleared your throat and looked at Smee with a shrug of your shoulders.
âI donât knowâŚâ Smee was deep in thought and the Captain suddenly spoke.
âBella.â He says and you blinked towards your lap, scrunching up your nose, not noticing the smirk on Smeeâs lips as he looked away.
âAs in Isabella?â You asked and the Captain shrugged, taking a sip out of his jug.
âSure.â
The first few nights on the ship were full of nightmares, or maybe they were memories that wanted to claw their way out of your mind and your brain just wouldnât let them. You woke up screaming, but you always found a glass of water next to your bed, the captainâs bed.
He had decided to give you his Cabin, his headquarters, because it was more fit for a woman rather than the crewâs headquarters. They were nice and private but you were still a woman, who they unwillingly took from the comfort of her home, so you should at least be comfortable.Â
Smee taught you how to fish properly, getting yourself a nice piece of fish for dinner. The Captain showed you how to make a proper knot, while Smee taught you how he sets sails and puts them away. Itâs hard to do while being only one person, but the Captain also helps with that.Â
So now, on your seventh day aboard, the Captain had decided to finally set sail around the island for you to see.Â
âWhatâs that?â You pointed at a big rock that appeared to look like a skull. Smee had gone hunting into the forest, so it was just you and the captain now, his hands on the steering wheel. You were next to him, pointing at everything you were seeing.Â
âSkull rock. The indigenous tribe of the island go there for mining and resources.â Your eyes widened as you looked back at him.
âThere are other people?!â You asked and he nodded, then shrugged.Â
âThey arenât keen on outsiders, so I didnât have the chance to meet any in my lifetime. You see the smoke?â He asks as he looks to the side of skull rock and you squint your eyes to see the small line of smoke coming from inside the woods.
âYeah! Is that where they are?â He gave you a nod and you hummed with curiosity. âWhere is Peter Pan?â His eyes widened and he turned to look at you, startling you by his intense gaze.
âHow do you know about Peter?â You were now as surprised as he was. How did you know? Who was Peter Pan? Lost Boys?
âYou didnât mention him before?â You asked him, now confused as to why his name came out of your mouth in the first place. He shook his head at you, the bandana over his head today as well instead of his hat. The sun was already setting, and the orange hues were hitting his complexion just right.Â
Your stomach was turning uncomfortably at his gaze, but it wasnât something that made you scared, rather, it was the other way around. It was turning because of how beautiful he just looked. The wind moving his curls with its direction, and his eyes staring at you with wonder and curiosity in them.
âI said Tinker Bellâs friend. Never said his name.â You shrugged at him, shaking your head with a worried look on your face.
âI-I really donât knowâŚâ He stood there, scanning your frame for a second. The past few days he had let his facade of being cold towards you slip, greatly. You two had the bantering still, but it always now ended with laughter, or giggles from your part, a smile on his face as he looked at you.Â
That was a new problem he encountered. He couldnât stop looking at you.Â
âNo. I donât know where he and his friends hide, if I knew, I would have captured Tinker Bell a while ago.â Your heart stung at that. It sounded as if he wanted you gone for a while now, and for some reason you didnât like that thought.Â
âYou never answered me.â You say as you look towards the island again as he maneuvered the ship to start rounding it again. His eyebrows went into the middle of his forehead in a confused frown.
âWhat answer?â
âWhy is it just you and Smee?â You ask again as you lean against the rail of the ship, looking at the horizon. The Captain keeps silent, gripping onto the steering wheel very tightly, his knuckles turning white on his left hand. For some reason, he didnât want to tell you at first, and he didnât want to tell you now either, but he knew it was an unavoidable topic.
âNone of us remember our names. My name is not Hook, or Smeeâs, or Peterâs⌠Those arenât our real names, just like yours isnât Bella.â He started explaining and you turned around to look at him as he sailed. âI had 9 men on my ship, counting Smee. Suddenly, one by one, they started to remember their names, and the next day, they were gone.âÂ
You stared at the floor next, your brain working as you thought about his words. They were gone⌠Where? Did they disappear? Were they never real? Or⌠Did they go back home? Your eyes widened as your head snapped towards him again, and he was already looking at you.
âSoââ
âIf you remember your name, you go back to your world.â He says to you, the hand still on the steering wheel as his right arm hangs on his side, his hook glinting with the sun. You felt your eyes stinging with that realization, but also because you didnât actually remember your name. You didnât even know if you ever would remember it again, so the pixie dust seemed like the better choice.Â
He was still looking at you, seeing your eyes filling up with tears, looking down at the floor. His heart clenched inside his chest and he almost winced at the new pain. He groaned slightly as he looked forward again, checking if rocks were anywhere to be seen.Â
âYeah, well⌠I donât think Iâll ever remember it soâŚâ You say sadly, feeling that you were abandoning some kind of home you had to go back to, but you werenât able to. Feeling some kind of hopelessness in your heart. The Captain put his hook around one of the handles of the Steering wheel and he stretched his left hand at you.
âCome here.â He commands and you wipe your face in case a tear falls down, and you stretch your right hand to him. He held it gently in his large palm, and you felt a shock running along your arm and towards your spine as he pulled you towards him. He positioned you in between him and the wheel, placing your right hand on one of the handles of it, taking away his hook, and then he positioned your left one, but he kept his hand over yours to help with the guiding.
Your eyes were wide at the proximity and by just how intimate this was. Your small hands wrapped around the handles, and your left one had a double grip thanks to his hand over yours. His chest was not touching you, but he was close, and you were afraid he could hear your heart beating furiously and loudly.Â
âDriving this in a storm is quite the trouble. The steering wheel becomes harder to move, but with calm waters it sails as if it were on butter.â He says, and his voice was so smooth on your ears, so calm and gentle, unlike the first time you two met. You suddenly felt the power you were holding, such a big machine under your fingertips, and it sailed because of you, and your guidance. Your eyes sparkled with emotion and joy as you looked forward.
âThis is so beautifulâŚâ And the Captain once again, looked down at you, at the crown of your head. He didnât know that their soap would smell so good, it was something homemade with flowers and animal fat, yet you made it smell like a perfume. His left hand left yours and it slid down your arm to rest on your waist, not putting much pressure onto it, just enough to hold him steady behind you.
You noticed of course, a deep blush running over your cheeks. There were so many questions you wanted to ask him, but you wanted to stay like this a little bit longer. His hand on you, and his chest almost pressing against your back as he gently guided you through the waves.
Just a little bit longer.
âSO COME AND SIGN THE BOOK, JOIN UP WITH CAPTAIN HOOK!â Smee sings loudly, face flushed as he danced around you and the captain, who were laughing at him as he drunkenly sang the Captainâs theme on deck, the three of you with a lamp in the middle as stars gazed down on you.Â
You were clapping as you sat on a wooden box, the rum already made a buzz appear in your mind but Smee was completely plastered. Itâs been a month since you were on the ship, and Smee had decided that it was time to make you a crew member. He finally sat back down with an âoofâ as he grabbed onto the book that was sitting next to his wooden box.
The captainâs eyes followed when Smee opened the book and grabbed onto the feather pen, already with ink, for you to sign yourself in. He handed both things to you and you looked down at the pages, seeing many names, more than 9. This happened many times then, people coming and going away.Â
Hook was about to tell you that there was no obligation to do so, but you grabbed the pen and signed with the name Bella under all the names. You smiled down at it, a warmth invading your chest that you didnât feel in so long. A warmth youâve been seeking for some time now, even before landing here.Â
âYOUâRE PART OF THE CREW MATEY!â Smee yells excitedly as he grabs the book and shows his Captain. You were giggling with flushed cheeks as you took another sip of your jug and when you pulled it down, the black haired man was staring at you with a kind smile to his face. âI think Iâm gonna pass outâŚâ And just like that, a big thud was heard and the Captain and you looked at Smee alarmingly, seeing him on the floor with his legs on the wooden stool still, but deep snores were coming out of his mouth, with the book on his face.
You couldnât help but crack up laughing at the sight, and a hiccup came out of your mouth, making you cover it quickly with your free hand in complete embarrassment, but you werenât ready to finally listen to the Captain let out a big laugh at the sound. His cheeks were flushed like yours, but he could handle his liquor a lot better.
âThat was a cute noise, Bella.â He says as he takes a sip out of his jug. You glare at him only for your smile to betray you, and giggle as the kick of the rum still swirled in your head. He was staring at you, no longer being able to contain his smile towards you. For the past month, you had helped with the cooking, with the cleaning of the ship, you even ventured to set sails, climbing onto the ropes to help Steve.
And he prepared more clothes for you, even underwear, which made him blush, but it was necessary for you. He didnât mind at all, and in fact, made him have hope that you wouldnât disappear that easily, that you would stay longer, because they hadnât even looked for Tinker Bell, nor you didnât care. It seems Peter also realized you werenât the person from years ago, and he didnât even dare to save you.
âHey, how did yaâ get yerâ hook?â He couldnât help but laugh at your bad impersonation of Pirate slang, but now you were one, so you were trying to look the part.Â
âThird day hunting. Crocodile got me, felt amazing, like you wouldnât believe.â He said sarcastically which made you frown in sadness and he shook his head at you. There you were again, feeling sad for him, as well as you felt happy for him when he returned from hunting, as well as you felt excited for him when he won a game of cards against Smee.Â
âDamn⌠that sounds... gorey.â Hook laughed at that with a nod. The rum was making your head swirl, but it made your inner thoughts become clearer to you. You were looking at the Captain with different eyes than a month ago, and you were hoping he was looking at you in the same way, you were yearning for it. For him. âCaptain?â
âHmm?â
âCan I give you a kiss?â His eyes scrunched a bit before widening. His stomach turned as your sight moved from his eyes to his lips, and he would be lying if he hadnât thought of it for the past few weeks, but he didnât want to scare you. He didnât want you to think he was doing this because you were a woman.
You were more than that.
âYou sure it isnât a thimble?â He joked, remembering a story from a long time ago, said to him by the person that he claimed you to be. Your eyebrows furrowed at that, but a small smile appeared on your face as you scooted next to him, and you looked to your side and up to be able to look at him.
âIf you want to call it thatâŚâ Your eyes were hazy with alcohol and the butterflies were flying around your belly as you slowly leaned in towards him. His breathing picked up, looking down at you with the new found feeling he had been clawing for all this time, leaning down, slowly towards you.
A loud snore interrupted you both, startling you and straightening up to look forward towards Smee, who raised his head up to look at the both of you. You were a blushing mess, even more than with the alcohol and the Captain was looking away from you, feeling embarrassment deep in his chest as well as disappointment.Â
âIs there more Rum?â Smee asks with a slur and you couldnât help but crack up at that, the moment completely gone and the Captain simply smiles at you, wholeheartedly. This feeling was new, completely taking over him, and he was embracing it, because it was a happiness he hadnât felt in way too long.Â
He didnât feel lonely. For the first time in what felt like forever.
You groaned loudly as your head banged from the previous day. You had too much to drink and now you were suffering the consequences. You laughed sleepily, knowing Smee was having it worse most likely. You got up from the bed, stretching your arms only for them to hit the top of a⌠ceiling?
You scrunch your face and slowly open your eyes, noticing you were in some underground room? You looked all around, panic setting in, just like a month ago as you walked all around the small area.Â
You heard a tinking noise, like little bells ringing, and then you saw it, a light flying towards you and when it finally stopped right on your face, you saw her. Small, little, with wings on her back.
Tinker Bell.
âSheâs awake! Peter!â You heard a kid yell and when you turned around, going down a slide and into the room appeared three boys, all dressed with fur made clothes, and some accessories. They all stood before you, and you can see they looked like they were 11 or 12 years old.
âHi! Iâm Pockets!â The boy with a bowl cut greeted you. âBut I bet you remember me!â You frowned at that and then the other two came forward.
âIâm Ace!â The boy with a slingshot in his hand said while the other one, a little bit more snarky with attitude, rolled his eyes.
âIâm Latchboy.â The black haired kid said. You were completely shocked as to where you were, but you couldnât help the tugging feeling of longing. You werenât supposed to be here, you didnât want to be here, but at the same time, you did.Â
âIâmâ Bella.â You said and the boys frowned, looking at each other and pointing at you.
âYou arenât Wendy?â You shook your head at them and finally, the last boy came in, but not sliding in like the rest, but flying from the hole of the slide and into the room. His curly hair with a green cap on top and green suit as he lowered himself down in front of you.
âWhat do you mean youâre not Wendy?â He asked with an angered frown to his face. You squint your eyes as you looked at the boy, tilting your head slightly in thought.
âPeter?â You asked and his eyes widened, looking at all the boys around him. You heard the bells ringing again as Tinker Bell stood on Peterâs right shoulder.Â
âI know you warned us Tink, but she just said my name without introducing myself!â The little bells sounded angry as the yellow glow turned red on Peterâs shoulder. He shook his head and gave her a wave to fly away. âDonât mind her, but how do you know my name if you arenât Wendy?âÂ
âIâ I donât know, I donât remember my real name either.â You said to the boys and they all sighed looking at one another. You were fidgety, wanting to return to your ship, to your new home, to your new family. âWhy are you all looking for Wendy so badly?â
âI justâŚâ Peter was looking down with tears in his eyes as he rubbed them gently. âWendy promised us, all of us, that she would take us home with her. But one day she was just gone. When I went to look for her at her home, she wasnât there anymore.â You were confused at that, and you realized that this Wendy must have remembered her name, and she couldnât fulfill her promise. You sighed as you looked at all the boys' dejected faces.
âShe was going to be our new mother.â The three other boys said in unison. Something stirred inside of you, and it was a tight tug to your heartstrings. For some reason, you couldnât help but feel like these kids needed you, that these kids right now needed someone to hold them.
So thatâs what you did, you opened your arms to welcome them all into a tight hug. You felt your tears well up as you rubbed their heads gently as they hugged you. The sorrow you were feeling in your chest just appeared like a hole, carving itself in.Â
You wished you knew where your previous home was, but you cannot promise them what Wendy had, but you can try to make them feel better. You pulled them away and got to eye level with them.
âDo you guys want to hear a story?â And they all cheered at that, going towards their beds as you began telling them a story about a man, who was super strong and that had the ability to fly like Peter but with no Pixie Dust. You donât really know if you were inventing the story or if it was a distant memory, but you could invent things here and there.Â
Then, you cooked Dinner for them.Â
Afterwards you helped them get into their pajamas.
And then, you were asleep with the whole group.Â
The next day, you cooked breakfast for them as they told you stories about their adventures and how the natives were really nice to them for helping them with some hunting or construction.Â
âBella!â Peter called you, guiding you up from the hidden place, and for the first time you could smell the fresh air, seeing that their home was hidden under a big tree. âDo you know how to fly?â He asks you and you raise an eyebrow up, looking at him.
âNoâŚâ He smiles at you, his eyes almost closing by how wide he was smiling and he suddenly hovers up in the air, you watching with fascination as he flies around you.
âItâs easy! You just need Faith, trust and pixie dust! Just think of happy thoughts!â He says while pretending to swim in the air and you giggle at his antics. Your eyes widened when you heard a distant yell, a very recognizable one and your head whipped to look for it.Â
It was Smee, he was calling out to you. Your family⌠Your ship. The Captain.Â
âYouâre already leaving?â You turned to see Peter, now standing in front of you, and your eyes filled with tears as you stared at him. You crouched down, rubbing his cheek gently.
âYes, but Iâll be here, on the shipâŚâ
âBut if you donât? Will you leave forever?â Your eyes widened at that, feeling the emptiness open in your chest again and you shook your head wildly at that.Â
âNo, no⌠If I ever disappear, ask⌠Ask Captain Hook, he knows where I am, where I might be⌠So I beg you, to look for me, all of you.â You say to the small boy who only gave you a small smile and a nod. He instantly dipped back into the small hole, disappearing under the tree.Â
Your breathing picked up as you turned and followed Smeeâs voice, coming loudly from inside the forest, almost desperate. Your heart was banging in your chest, thinking about him but also, thinking about your Captain, about his brown eyes, about his kindness.
âBELLA!â Smee yelled as he saw you running towards him. His under eyes were filled with bags from the lack of sleep, looking everywhere for you alongside Hook, but he finally saw you alive and well, taking you into his arms as you both collided together.
âIâm so sorry!â You yelled with tears streaming down your face, and he shook his head as he hugged you tightly, his own eyes burning from the tears forming in his eyes.Â
âNo! Donât be sorry! Where were you!?â He asked, pulling away to look at you, hands on your shoulders as he looked at you.
âPeter and the lost boys! They must have sneaked in andââÂ
âThe captain is on the ship!â He almost yells, desperately and you knew you had to return to him. You deeply wanted to return to him. You turned to start running but little bells ringing filled your ears as you saw a small light flying towards you at high speed.
âTink!â You yelled and Smeeâs eyes widened as the fairy flew all around you, pixie dust falling on your head and your body. You coughed slightly but as soon as you saw her, she flew away. You turned to Smee and nodded at him to start running. He was looking at you worriedly but followed you to go towards the small boat he docked at the shore.
You needed to get back to him, your heart on your throat as the memories with him filled your mind, the laughter, the stories about how he played with Peter and the Lost boys, yesterday night when he was leaning towards you with longing in his eyes that resembled the one that was in your heart.
âBELLA!â You heard Smee yell and when you turned around, you didnât see him at your eye level, but below you. Your eyes widened as you looked down towards the floor, which was a few feet from your body, floating in the air. You screamed and almost fell to the ground, wobbling mid air.Â
Your eyes fixed forward, and you could see the flag at the very top of the ship, far away. You took a deep breath in, feeling your body as light as a feather, as the yearning became stronger each second you floated, each second you inched closer to the ship, each time you remembered the Captainâs eyes.Â
Said Captain was pacing back and forth on the deck, his long hair now tied with his bandana in a low ponytail, his left hand running over his face as the panic from waking up yesterday and not finding you in his bed seeped through his pores. He didnât want to think about it. He didnât want to believe you remembered your name.Â
He cannot even begin to explain the hole that his chest cavity was beginning to form. What is he going to do with you gone? This is not something he had planned, the feelings that you brought in this ship, within him, were not something that he ever thought of happening before.Â
He raised his head up and his eyes widened when he saw a figure flying towards the ship. It wasnât a small frame, not a childâs. His heart wanted to come out of his chest as he saw you flying towards him, clumsily, but still flying towards the ship. He immediately spread his arms, moving forward as you came closer, his eyebrows pinched into a frown with worry, with surprise, with happiness.
You smiled widely at seeing him, lowering yourself as you flew, right into his arms, your own wrapping around his waist as your feet touched the wooden deck. Your tears were slipping out of your eyes as he closed his arms around your frame, making sure his hook doesnât prick you or hurt you, but his left hand was splayed around your back, pushing you close against him as if you were his life line.
He clenched his eyes as you sobbed into his chest, his left hand now going up towards your head to cradle you into him. You could hear how fast his heart was beating, how loud it was, and your body shook with electricity at his touch. Seconds, minutes passed where you both held each other like this, until he slowly pulled your face away to look down at you. His eyes displayed confusion with a frown to his eyebrows.
âY-You were flyingâŚâ He softly mumbles and you sniffle as you look up at him, cheeks flushed as your belly starts jumping all around at seeing him.Â
âY-Yes andââ
âWhy didnât you go home you silly girl?â He asked, terror in his voice, almost trembling as he spoke, and your eyes widened. You could have gone⌠home? What is home? Where did he mean?Â
âT-This is my home⌠With Smee⌠With you.â You raised a hand to caress his cheek, the feelings overflowing your heart as you thought of him, as you saw him, as you felt him. Whatever your past was, whatever your past home was, whoever people you had, they didnât matter. You knew that you never felt something like this, with no one, with anything. You knew the feelings inside of you right now were not there before arriving here.
You knew you were miserable before landing here. Thatâs all you knew.
His eyes filled with tears as he stared down at you, for the first time feeling his heart fill up with joy, with care, with want, with desire, and most of all, with love. He had Smee, and he was grateful for him, but it could not compare. What he was feeling for you at this moment, what he has been feeling for you the past few weeks, does not compare.Â
So he leaned down, almost desperately, wantonly, and pressed his lips against yours, fulfilling your request from last night. You had the chance to leave, you had the chance to fly away, you had the chance to never see this place again, yet you chose him. You chose this family. You chose to stay.
You kissed him back just as desperate, an electric feeling engulfing your body from head to toe, your hand finding the back of his neck to pull him closer to you, if that was even possible. This man who looked right out of a fairytale, was the man that became your home. He made you feel at home, not at all a prisoner, not at all as if you were being held against your will.
Because there was nothing you wanted more than to be in his arms. Than to feel his lips moving against yours the way they are doing now, his body heat mixing with yours as the sound of the waves filled the background noise of you two.Â
A clear of throat made you both snap out from your kiss, pulling away from it and turning your heads to see Smee at the edge of the ship, from where the stairs were located with a grin to his face. You flushed a deep red, your breath completely heavy as the Captain glared at his crewmate.Â
âSaw it coming a mile away, just saying.â He raised his hands up in his defense and immediately rushed downstairs to his room. Your face was turned by a cold metal, your Captainâs hook on your cheek to look at him again.Â
âI am not letting you go Bella, be aware of that.â He says with a smile to his face and you giggle, your breath hitting his lips and he was ready to dive in again into a kiss but you stopped him.
âHey, why Bella?â You asked him and he grinned at you, but before he could talk, his mouth opening to do so, he was interrupted.
âIt means Beautiful. Sorry, forgot my pistol on the boat.â Smee says with a smirk as he heads towards the stairs again. Your captain groaned in exasperation and he pulled away from you, heading towards Smee who was bending over to start going down the stairs. Hook put a foot up and kicked his crewmate on his butt, sending him off the edge and down into the water. You gasped audibly, covering your mouth with your hands as worry crossed your features.Â
âTHAT WAS NOT NICE!â You heard from afar and your captain laughed at that, which made you giggle, catching his attention. He immediately rushed towards you to pull you into another kiss.Â
He wasnât going to get tired of that.
A month. One more month.Â
You were happy, content, as you tied the knots of the sails to the edges of the ship with the help of Smee, the moon already beaming in the sky as well as the stars sparkled above you.
âIâm just saying, you can tell us, and the game would be even more fun!â Smee says and you shook your head with a giggle, finishing your knot.
âI will not tell you their location. The game wouldnât be fun like that!â You say and he sighs, finishing his own knots as well. For the past month, you had participated in the game of catching the lost boys and Peter, alongside your Captain and Smee. The boys often decided to kidnap you so you would tell them stories and make them food, tuck them into bed at night before Tink would give you pixie dust so you could fly back to the ship.
The Captain rejoiced everytime he found you in the game, instead of you going back willingly. This game is what kept them alive, what kept them enjoying the days, the immortality you all had. Smee has been trying to coarse the information of Peterâs home for the past month with no luck.Â
âAre the sails secured?â You heard your Captain call and Smee stood tall next to you, giving him a nod. He knew what those words were, so he gave you a wink, before brushing next to you to head towards his headquarters. The Captain looked at you with a playful look in his eyes as he walked towards you.Â
Your relationship became that of intimate, just kissing, but everytime it escalated more and more, and you both knew that. You never expressed your feelings for him, and neither did he, but you both also knew that it was there. Peter always teased the Captain about your relationship, flying around him to make kissy noises at him, while he tried to swat him away.
âAre my knots okay, Captain?â You asked in a sultry tone, rocking on your feet as he walked closer to you, wrapping his left arm around your waist to pull you closer. A black shirt with loosened strings at his collar which let you see some of his chest hair, puffy sleeves like always, loosened at his wrists, and his hair tied in a low pony tail.Â
âPerfect even.â He whispered before leaning down and taking your lips with his. You breathed contently against him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to pull him into you as your stomach exploded in butterflies and the word of your feelings sat in your throat.Â
His lips moved against yours, and his right arm wrapped around you, always keeping his hook at a distance from your body, but sometimes the tip of it would graze your waist and it would send currents of electric shocks through your body. The hit of waves against the ship made it rock slightly, very slightly, almost unnoticeable thanks to the size of it.
Your heart was beating on your ears almost as the kiss progressed, the moon being your witness only as well as the many stars that flicker around it. His tongue doing magic against yours as your body increased in heat and in desire, pulling away to look at him breathlessly.
âCaptainâŚâ You mumbled, and he pecked your lips first to then start pecking your cheek, then again, then lower onto your jaw, until he pressed a kiss against your neck, on your pulse point.
âHmmâŚ?â He asked against your skin and you bit your lip as nervousness but excitement filled your belly.
âCome to my cabin tonightâŚ?â You ask through a heavy breath and his kissing stopped. He slowly pulled away to look at your face, and your eyes were glossed over with adrenaline and desire, much alike to his. His stomach was in knots as well as his heart jumped with happiness, nervousness and anticipation.Â
He gave you a slow nod, and you felt your whole body burning at the confirmation. You pulled away from him to grab his left hand, guiding you both towards your headquarters, his old cabin, and as you closed the door behind you both, the rest of the night was filled with jagged breaths, moans, becoming one, your hearts joining, your lips swelling, and feeling the love you had for one another.
Because right now, this right here was all it mattered. All you ever wanted.
You slowly awoke, your eyes fluttering open at the sound of seagulls, as an arm was wrapped around your waist from behind, the right arm that had no hook, because he always took it off before sleeping, under the many blankets the bed possessed.Â
You smiled sleepily as you looked over your shoulder to see your captain, sleeping soundly, soft snores escaping his lips, with his hair all over the pillows and his bare chest pressed against your naked back.
You untangled yourself from him, wanting to start breakfast and he let you go with a groan and a stir in his sleep. You got out of bed, stretching your limbs and looked down at the various love bites all over your body, smiling widely at them. Last night was magical, for the both of you, and you just cannot wait for more of it, for more nights like that, for more days like that.
Maybe even give him a family.
You blushed at the thought and stood up, pulling your underwear and your slacks on, as well as your shirt from yesterday. A bath is going to be nice first, so might as well prepare that before cooking some breakfast.
You walked towards your, his, closet and started grabbing onto your clothes for after your bath, but something fell, something heavy. You looked down and noticed a leather like black coat? You bent down to grab it and when you did something fell off from one of its pockets. You grabbed said thing, an orange capsule, or was it a flask of some sort with a white cap on. You tilted your head in confusion, turning it around to find words stuck to the orangeâ
Your eyes widened at the words.
Sharp pains started banging on your head as you re-read it, over and over again, a shock striking your brain at full speed, and your heart stopped, it completely stopped and the blood in your body drained, making you feel light headed.
âNo⌠No, no, no!â You yelled loudly, and that made Hook sit up alarmingly, awoken from his slumber. He saw you in front of your closet, holding onto your head and then something on your other hand. He got up, almost like lightning, throwing his slacks on with one hand and rushing towards you.
âWhatâs wrong?!â He exclaimed worriedly as he saw the tears running down your face as you shook uncontrollably. Your sobs ripped from your chest as you looked up at him, making the pain even more unbearable in your chest. You gave him the flask and he grabbed it with his left hand, looking down at it with a confused frown on his face.
âM-My naââ You couldnât even say it, the feelings from before coming to Neverland strangling your throat as your head swirled. He read the sticker on the flask and he immediately knew. He knew, because his heart sunk down to his stomach.Â
Your name was stuck to that flask. You remembered your name.
You remembered everything. You remembered your past home. You remembered the people you met. You remembered your mother. You remembered your friends. You rememberedâ
âSweetheartââ
âM-My grandmotherâsâ grandmotherâs name, was Gwendolin.â You say in almost a whisper, shock crossing your features as well as the Captainâs. Gwen⌠Wendy.
Your grandmother was Wendy.
The flask was dropped and his left hand held your cheek, pushing his forehead against yours. The pain in his chest increased as his eyes filled with tears, the sobs that wanted to rip out of his throat, threatening to be as loud as yours.
âLook at me, please look at me.â He begged and you looked up to meet his eyes, as tears streamed down your faces, shaking your head in denial at what was going to happen next.Â
âI donât want to go⌠Please, I donât want to go! I donâtâ I donât want to leave you! I donât want to leave hereââ You sobbed out, your arms wrapping around him as your small frame trembled with fear, with sadness, with despair, with the anger of not being able to stop this. He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into him.
âDonâtâ Donât worryââ He doesnât even know what to say, because losing you was the worst thing that has ever happened to him. You were his home, his person, his all, and he was going to lose you.Â
âCome with meâ Come with me please, please!â You begged, pulling your head away from his chest to look up at him, desperation written in your features and another wave of sadness invaded him, as fresh tears spilled out from his eyes.Â
âI canât stayâ If I donât remember my name, I will just be pulled into this land againâŚâ He says in a low voice, trying to speak through the rippling sobs that escape his lips, sobs he cannot contain any longer. His heart was breaking, each second now counted, because you were going to leave, at any time.
âPlease, please, there has to be a wayââ You sobbed out, asking for the gods to hear you, to anyone to hear you, to this realm to hear you. You needed him with you, you needed Smee with you, you needed the kids with you, because if you didnât, you were going to be all alone again.
Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.
âIâmâ Iâm sorry sweetââ He started but you interrupted, knowing there was not enough time.
âI love you. I love you. I love you so much. Donât leave me, pleaseâŚâ You blurt out, your head dipping into his chest as you sobbed, rocking back and forth. His own heart fluttered at your words, against the pain, but it made his tears come harder, his sobs cutting his breath.Â
âAnd I love you darling, I love you.â He managed to say and he felt your body slowly stop shaking, his arms feeling you slumping against him, your sobs calming down.
âI donât want to goâ I donât want to sleep⌠I donât, please donât let meââ But he knew it was too late as he clenched his eyes shut to brace for the pain that would hit him.
The pain that will hit him when you close your eyes.
You stirred.
You groaned.
You moved your head as consciousness filled it.
Where were you?Â
There were no waves, no seagulls, no birds chirping, no slow rocking.
Your eyes shot open as you realized the position you were in. You were sprawled on your grandmotherâs bed, your old clothes hugging you tightly, as well as your jacket that contained the flask in one of your pockets.Â
You quickly sat up, looking towards the window that was now wide open, the breeze coming in, moving the curtains away. You immediately leaped up from the bed, rushing in urgency towards the balcony, your eyes filling with tears as they looked up at the night sky.Â
Was it all a dream? It cannot be, because the longing in your chest was there, the hole that now vacated it was there, the sadness and the loneliness was invading you worse than before. You canât deal with this again, not again. You looked down at your body, opening the collar of your shirt, seeing the marks on your skin, and thatâs when the sobbing started, heavy, your chest exploding with emotions as you fell on the big balconyâs floor.
âPlease, please, remember your name, pleaseâŚâ You wished upon that second star to the right. You wished, and wished as it gleamed next to the large moon. Your hands shook against your chest as you held it to calm your heart, to calm the pain, to try to numb it, but you couldnât.
And you couldnât.
Not even if three days had passed, and it was all circling back again, spiraling. The word rings in your head as the furniture collects dust in each room, and your stomach makes you throw up at any random time of the day.
Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.
And it all turned to the same word, to the same reflection in the mirror as you held the orange flask in your hand, looking down at the pile of pills inside of it.
Decisions.Â
A loud knocking on the front door awoke you, banging like never before, your head dizzy from the lack of nutrients in your body, from the painkiller you took in the morning.Â
You looked at your phoneâs screen, slowly getting up from the couch where you had passed out, and your head was throbbing, holding it with your hand as the banging didnât stop. You groaned loudly, walking towards the big front door.Â
âIf you are here to sell anything pleaseââ Brown hair caught your eye, thatâs the first thing you noticed, and he slowly turned around, brown eyes hitting with yours, freckles on his face, and a sting in your heart made you almost bend over at the sight.
âBellaâŚâ He smiled through his stained face, his breathing picking up and a choked sob escaped your lips as you raised your hands to touch his face, trying to see if what you were seeing was real or not, and there was warmth, there definitely was.
âSmâSmeeââ
âIâm Steve⌠My name is Steve.â He says and your heart fills with joy at the knowledge, screaming with joy as you pull him into a tight hug. His arms wrapped around you, as he sobbed onto your shoulder. He was still wearing the pirate clothing, the one you thought you invented in your head out of your loneliness, but here he was, hugging you, crying onto you.
But over his shoulder, thatâs when you saw the four kids with tear stained cheeks, lost eyes, as they looked over. Steve pulled away from you as he looked down at the children with you, a smile forming on his face.
âPeterââ
âDustin⌠Iâm Dustin.â He says with a pout to his lips and then Pockets talked.
âIâm WillâŚâ Your eyes widening as you look at their faces, the tears never stopping from coming out of their eyes. Ace spoke next.
âIâm LucasâŚâ And then, Latchboy finally presented himself.
âMy name is MikeâŚâ Your heart beat into your chest loudly, happiness engulfing you as you crouched to the ground, opening your arms for the boys to rush and hug you, holding them close to you as the broken pieces mended back together in your head, in your heart.
All the boys were sobbing loudly, finally feeling normal, remembering who they were, remembering their lives and the intensity that whoever knew them, were long gone by now, but you were here, Steve was here andâ
You opened your eyes again, pulling away from the hug as you looked around, desperately. It cannot be, please⌠He canât be alone there. He didnât remember his name? It cannot possibly be that he didnât, because everyone else did, soâ
âAre we going to live here?â Mike asked you and you had to push away your thoughts to answer to him, even if the pain was deep in your heart. You gulped the lump down, nodding at him with a sad smile on your face.
âYes, and everyone will have their own room, even you, Steve. Weâre all going to be a family, would you like that?â You say with doubt in your voice, hope and fear latched to it. All the boys nodded as big smiles filled their faces, hugging each other with happiness. You stood up and looked at Steve, who had a pained look on his face, despite the joy he felt inside his chest at the news of having a family.Â
âI⌠Heââ His eyes widened for a second as he saw something behind you, looking upwards. When you turned around you didnât see anything but then your ear caught something.
Loud thuds were heard in your house, and you rushed inside to hear the boots, walking on the second floor, your heart in your throat as the anxiety and hope filled your guts, wishing that it will be him, wishing it is him, wishing on that star that for the love of all things, that itâd be him.
A hook clamped on the rail of the stairs first, and then he came into view, your eyes widening as tears filled your eyes at seeing him again. His hair tight in the black bandana you remembered him with, the white shirt, the tight pants with the belts around his waist, and he stood at the top of your marble stairs.Â
You stared at one another, for a long while, until your feet worked again, finding the impulse to run to him, the magnet that always pulled you to him, as you rushed towards the stairs, and he followed, running down the steps, desperately, his heart exploding at being able to see you again, his gut turning at seeing your tear stained face, but he had something to say to you, he couldnât wait to tell you.
He met you at the bottom of the stairs, and your arms immediately wrapped around his shoulders, almost jumping on him as sobs ripped out from your chest, cries of happiness as you felt his warmth against you again, his left arm holding you tightly as he sobbed onto your shoulder, soaking your shirt as you soaked his.Â
He pulled away to press his hand against your cheek, desperately pecking your lips over and over again through his tears, his longing being shown towards you as you sobbed through the adoration he was giving you, not being able to handle how happy you were feeling, how for the past few days you were miserable, to the brink of going over the edge, but there was something always pulling you back.Â
And that was faith.
Faith that you would see him again, faith that you wouldnât be alone again, faith that you would have the family you yearned for. The family you once had with your grandmother only, and now it multiplied.Â
The Captain pulled away from you, his lips hovering over yours, panting against your lips as your hands clawed at his shoulders, not wanting to let go of him ever again. But he had to tell you something. He had to.
âMy name is Edward.âÂ
Your eyes filled with new tears as your smile spread through your lips, widely, a sob escaping them, and you kissed him, pulling his face against yours, before hugging him tightly against you again. Edward. Such a beautiful name.Â
âEdward⌠EddieâŚâ You say his name and he finally let his cries be heard through the home, his chest ripping open from them almost. The boys looked at the couple with wonder in their eyes as Steve gulped the lump in his throat, smiling widely. It almost seemed as if your grandma knew you would meet these people, your grandma knew you were going to be the one to fulfill her promise to them, to bring them home.Â
Home.
Your new home.
And if you listened closely, through the walls of the marble mansion, a small chime of little bells could be heard, happy yet sad, until they couldnât be heard any more.
The second star to the right, shines in the night for you, to tell you that the dreams you plan, really can come true.
If you are inspired to do anything with this couple, credit accordingly if it's these two really.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this imagine, this little thing actually broke me while writing it, but seriously, if you got any questions regarding it or maybe request something for these two, I'll be more than happy to receive it on my ask â¤
{beetlejuice!satoru gojo x f!reader}
â â may you never forget me â ⪠ŕźâ
summary: living as a psychic medium was like a ticket straight to nothing in your life, you always accidentally creeping people out and scaring them when you talked about it, and you just feeling emptyâ like something was missing and vacant in your life with no explanation as to why. but upon stumbling through an attic inside a house of a recently deceased couple, you meet himâ beetlejuice, a silly and wacky man who was damned to live in the attic for eternity due to him breaking the rules, you never having met a spirit so forward and flirtatious in your life as you quickly bonded. but when beetlejuice presents the idea of you being able to break his contract and finally set him free, you hesitate at the one condition⌠marrying him.
warnings: MDNI afab!reader, DIABOLICAL angst my god, angst w/ comfort though YIPPEEE, mentions of death, mentions of murder, reader is a psychic medium, fluuufff, SMUUUTTT, p in v sex, DOM AFF SATORU MEOOWWW, unprotected sex (wrap it yâall), creampie, oral, blowie, mentions of ghosts and spirits and things, loosely inspired by the 80s movie, mentions of reader having âpink cheeksâ is only to amplify and over-exaggerate feelings of embarrassment, shyness, and everything in between, and not to be taken literally! this is a work of fiction, and you can imagine many things for yourself :)
word count: 19.8k
authors note: YEEEEEOOOOWWWW GET READY YALLâŚ.. SHES FREAKY⌠SHES ANGSTY⌠AND SHES THE MOMEEEENNTTTT omg i absolutely LOOOVEDDD writing this one so much and i hope you guys find it interesting or iâm gonna CRYYYY HEHEHEH no iâm jk but as always, i love you SO SO SO much and thank you for all of your love and support !! MWAAAHHH <333
youâve always had a knack for the paranormal.
and from the newspaper clippings you saw and the meddlesome whisperings of your fellow neighbors, newlyweds adam and barbara maitland died on their way home from a day out in the townâ swerving in their vehicle while crossing over a bridge and crashing through the side of it, evidently sending themselves tumbling down to the river below and drowning.
it was the biggest tragedy your tiny town had ever been hit with, the maitlandâs having renovated their house on the hill from scratch and had recently just finished it when the accident happened, the both of them in the midst of planning their honeymoon to get away from winter river for a little while, happy and in love and looking forward to a quiet serene life together.
it was a shame, really, and it only took two weeks for rumors to spread about how there were always weird moving shadows from the windows of their two story home, or slight flashings of neon blue or white seeping through the cracks of their front doorâ all of which pissed the realtors off seeing as the rumors prevented the house from being sold again, prospected buyers coming in with high hopes only to be scared off once they so even explored the town, a store clerk or a fellow neighbor quick to tell them of the gossip and to stay away, ultimately causing the house to collect dust and cobwebs until realtors decided they wouldnât bother much with it anymore.
and the rumors always peaked your interest, as your entire life youâve always had a passion for the supernatural seeing as your late parents were psychic mediums for the otherworldly, a beautiful ominous gift that was relayed to you from the moment you were able to correctly comprehend sentences, your mind and soul more welcoming to spirits of the unknown compared to regular folk who flat out refused.
and why? you didnât know. they were just mystic entities that perhaps couldnât find their way to the other side like they were intended, and if the rumors were true, the maitlandâs were in the same predicament, and you felt like they just needed time and space without the pestering of realtors or dumb kids knocking on the windows to see if a ghost would pop outâ deserving of a proper chance to figure it out.
except your boyfriend wouldnât understand that either.
âbabe câmon!â he pleaded with you, a distressed look on his face. âi thought you liked creepy ghost shit?â
you scoffed. âyes rin but not to fucking break in and steal their things! what the hellâs the matter with you?!â
rin groaned and rubbed his eyes, his friends obviously annoyed and bothered by your defiance and it only made you feel awkward, sitting there on your desk chair in your college dorm and guiltily picking at your black nail polish.
ây/n we literally cannot go if you donât go.â he pushed. âwe need your ghost brain to tell us if theyâre around so we can scram if they decide to kill us.â
you snorted, already aggravated by rinâs lack of respect and wholeheartedly believing dumb stereotypes.
âyouâre committing a crimeââ
âthe house is abandoned! no one gives a shit!â he threw his arms up. âbabe câmon iâm serious itâs getting late and weâre losing time.â
why wasnât he listening?
âwhat are you looking for anyways?â you mumbled.
âmoney.â he replied, grabbing his black bag and swinging it over his shoulder. âthatâs literally it i wonât take anything else.â
âdo you swear?â you peered up at him. âdonât take jewelry or any of their things just money and we get out.â
âyeah we wonât! right guys?â
rin looked over both of his shoulders to ensure that his friends agreed, them muttering and sighing as you gnawed at the inside of your cheek and feeling embarrassed for some reason, slowly standing and crossing your arms.
you never liked his friends.
âand leave me out of it okay?â you spoke. âwe could get kicked out of college for this i donât know how youâre not worriedâŚâ
he swung a heavy arm around your shoulders and nudged you on, you stumbling a bit as he basically had a lock around your neck on your way outside.
âtheyâre not gonna care y/n.â he dismissed, unlocking the car and his friends piling in the back while you settled in the passenger seat. ânobody will. itâs abandoned.â
the entire way there you were aggravated and guilty, rin and his friends babbling on about the valuable things theyâd hope to find and the kind of ghosts they thought would appear, not a single person in the car an actual believer of those paranormal rumors as they poked fun and teased, your forehead against the glass of the window and miserable as rin drove up the steep hillâ the night chilly and so dark that you could barely make out the shape of the house until you were just about to pull up to the driveway.
rin turned off his headlights and tuned down the radio to avoid drawing attention, steering wheel shifting a little to the right so the car could gradually round over and stop next to the front steps of the porchâ rin shutting off the ignition once he parked and stuffing his keys into his pocket.
and you could immediately feel a presence even from outside the house, your arms stiff and tingly as you all quietly got out of the car and made your way to the stairs, dry dirt crinkling beneath your shoes as you tried to swallow back your nerves knowing that at any moment you could all be fucking arrested.
âare you sensing ghosts?â rin whispered, a sly teasing grin on his face as the floorboards of the porch creaked with your movements, his hand reaching and jiggling the doorknob.
âyeah.â
his eyes snapped over to you. ââŚreally? yeah right.â
âno iâm serious.â you whispered back. âwhat did you bring me for if youâre not even gonna believe when i tell youââ
âokay! okay iâm sorry.â he apologized, though it didnât seem genuine as he patted your back. âi believe you trust me.â
âwaitâ she said thereâs ghosts?â one of his friends piped up. âhow do you know?â
you went to answer but rin beat you to it.
âsheâs a psychic⌠i guess.â he unzipped his bag and pulled out a mini tool kit, a mix of screwdrivers and bobby pins inside. âshe can sense them.â
âoh my godâŚâ another one mumbled, all of his friends eerie now. ârinâ i thought you said those rumors were bullshit.â
your eyes narrowed. âyou said that?â
âno!â i mean, technically yes butââ he took two bobby pins from the kit and put the rest of the box away, hunching down to lock pick the knob. âyou guys really think any of that is real? itâs just the neighbors man theyâre boredââ
âpeople here donât just make up rumors like that rin.â you cut him off. âthe majority of winter river is elderly and in retirement why the fuck would they be making upââ
âbecause theyâre old and boredââ
the lock released a prominent click and rin tested the doorknob again, this time it turning all the way and opening as he pushed it wide, you all proceeding cautiously and it somehow being colder inside than it was outside as the group shined their flashlights around every corner and space, not bothering to tell your boyfriend that the presence you felt earlier was ten times stronger now, for rin never really believed you or just thought you were being funny whenever you mentioned things like that to him.
you had known rin since the start of college, him always the rebel dickish type as he didnât follow directions or liked whenever people tried to tell him what to do, and how you ended up crossing paths with him and it sticking was something that was a mystery to you.
rin was everything you wanted at first.
and though he was a bit selfish, you foolishly looked past the fact and let him meddle his way into your already monotonous life, it being hard for you to make friends in the first place because of your psychic abilitiesâ always feeling like something was missing and⌠vacant for years growing up without any explanation as to exactly why, figuring it was just the side effects of your parentsâ passing.
but it still didnât help when youâd accidentally partake in scaring off and weirding people out when you mentioned that you just saw their deceased relative wander by, rin being one of the first to actually stay because he didnât believe you, choosing to turn a blind eye to something you treasured about yourself the most, stuck and left to wonder if there was ever someone who did.
but turning a blind eye to just your psychic ability became him turning a blind eye to everything about you, and you felt like he never really listened to what you had to say or cared, often switching the topic back to himself or giving you a series of âmhmâsâ and âyeahâsâ to get you to move on.
you didnât feel seen anymore, but you loved him still for some reason.
âwhere do we even look?â one of his friends whispered, the lot of you traveling as a group through the entry room and down the hall to the kitchen.
âwherever you think a money bank would be.â rin mumbled, leading you all and going round to the living room, his flashlight shining over dusty furniture and spiderwebs. âi think itâd be better if we split up. half of us can take upstairs and the others can look through the kitchen, y/n and i are gonna dig through here for a bitââ
âwhat?â you spoke, his friends nodding and walking off to their designated areas. ârin no i told you iâm notââ
âoh my god babeâ would it really hurt you to just peek in some freaking drawers? let me know if something looks like it has money in it alright?â
he stepped over to the middle and crouched by the coffee table, opening and closing several compartments. âbe useful please.â
you scoffed. âyouâre the one who dragged me here and i told you i wasnât getting involved.â
âyouâre not.â he mumbled, standing back up and going over to a big brown dresser on the side. âjust look at shit and donât touch anything. tell me if you see money.â
you rubbed your cheek in exhausted frustration, thinking itâd be better to just mindlessly look around to appease him as you caught and stared at the photographs over by the fireplaceâ a wedding portrait of whom you assumed to be adam and barbara maitland propped up amongst others of family and friends, your fingers raising to gently wipe away the dirt and grime from the glass to get a clearer look of them.
you felt awful that their lives were taken from them just when they had built such a loving foundation for it, and you felt even more awful that rin and his stupid friends were invading their space and stealing in the way that they were with no sense of respect.
a sudden loud thud from upstairs made you and rin stop in your tracks, the both of you unmoving as you tried to listen.
âiâm gonnaââ you gnawed at your bottom lip. âiâm gonna check upstairsââ
âno absolutely not.â rin shook his head. âitâs probably just my friends itâs fine.â
âif itâs the maitlandâs your friends arenât gonna know what to do besides shit themselvesââ
âokay yeah sure.â he laughed, opening and closing different drawers from top to bottom. âitâs the house babe itâs old and worn out. maybe theâ wood or whatever is acting up.â
you pursed your lips, arms crossing and apprehensive as you stood next to him, knowing with everything in you that the maitlandâs were definitely still present.
âcan we please just go rin...â you asked softly. âplease weâllâ weâll find a different building thatâs actually abandoned and doesnât have the maitlandâs still hereââ
he scoffed. ây/n this one is abandoned.â
âbut itâs only been three months!â you exclaimed. âi donât wanna do this to themââ
ââoh sweet! thereâs a rolex in hereââ
âno!â you snatched the watch from his upheld hand and backed away towards the fireplace. âyou swore to me just money these are their thingsââ
ây/n theyâre dead! who fucking cares? all of their shitâs gonna be donated might as well pawn it.â
âyeah for your own benefit right?â you mumbled, pushing past him and walking down the hall. âiâm going home.â
he looked at you baffled. âare you serious? over a dumb watch?â
ârin youâve gone back on everything you promised and youâre not taking me seriouslyââ
âdid i take the watch? no i didnât so stopââ
âiâm not talking about just the watch!â
âyou know what?! fine!â rin shoved a hand in his pocket and pulled out his keys, chucking them at you and hitting against your chest as you scrambled to catch them. âgo wait in the car.â
you threw them back and they hit his upper arm, his eyes narrowing at you in return as he then bent down to grab them from the floor.
âiâm not waiting in the damn car iâm walking home.â
âyouâre walking?â he shook his head. âback to your dorm? thatâs gonna take you like an hour y/n.â
you shrugged.
âfine go i donât give a shit.â rin muttered and rolled his eyes. âyou always do this manââ
you didnât bother to stick around for anything else he had to say as you trudged on down the hall and back to the main entryway, tears brimming your eyes at the lack of care he had for you and scolding yourself for the thousandth time for staying with him, trying to understand why he was like this with you when all youâve ever done was be patient and give him the benefit of the doubt when he didnât fucking deserve it.
it was hard for you to tell if he even loved you anymore, and you always psyched yourself out that he did whenever heâd barely just accomplish doing the bare minimum.
upon arriving at the front door, you placed the rolex gently on a lonesome night stand by the coat hanger, your hand reaching and turning the knob to step outside until another loud thud shook through the walls, and louder this time as you pulled back and craned your head to look up the stairs.
muffled voices seeped from the top as they gasped and whispered to each other to shush, you recognizing some to be rinâs friends with irritation and worry simmering in your brain, wondering if they were messing with the maitlandâs things and stealing what they werenât supposed to steal, as they were just as uncaring and selfish as rin was throughout the time that youâve gotten to know them.
and with that in mind, you let go of the doorknob and quietly walked up the stairs, every creak and groan from the wooden slabs underneath your feet making you wince as you went further and further until you reached the top, you sighing as you saw that the maitlandâs room door was wide fucking open and with snickering inside.
but with each step that you took to get closer⌠the more prominent the goosebumps on your arms became and the heavier the feeling in your gut grew, a strange apparent flickering light from your right blinding your vision for a moment as you stopped and turned to look.
your eyes slightly widened, a neon lime green foggy light practically oozing from the attic staircase as it streamed over half of your frame, luring you in with your body mindlessly and curiously walking towards it and up the rugged squeaky stairs, fingers quickly reaching up to swing the attic door open and halting in alarm once you did, the green aluminous light from earlier completely encasing you entirely now as you stepped forward inside the attic.
the door swung and slammed itself shut suddenly, you jumping and spinning around with hurried hands coming up to pull and tug at the knob, breathing irregular upon realizing that it wouldnât fucking budge and was somehow jammed with no explanation as to exactly howâ
âboyfriend troubles?â
âoh my god!â you screamed, hand flying over your heart as your eyes snapped to the source, a tall lanky man standing there with a little grin and vibrant pale blue eyes that only utterly confused you, his vertically stripped black and white suit peculiar and unique as your frantic eyes darted over his figure.
you knew for a fact that the strange man before you wasnât adam maitland, for the way he looked now didnât match the pictures you saw in the newspapers at all, you swallowing thickly and slowly backing up against the attic door with your heart dropping straight down to your ass.
who the fuck was he? was heâ was he a spirit? because if not thereâs a random man literally just basking and relaxing inside theâ
ârelax! relax jeez you look like youâre about to vomit sweets.â
sweets?
âare you dead?!â you blurted, hand scrambling behind you for the doorknob. âare youâ are you alive how are youââ
he laughed loudly and wiggled his little index fingerâ scrunching it up and down to elicit a âyesâ and finding your skittishness a little funny.
âyup! so dead very dead.â
âoâ oh⌠okay...â you spoke softly, tense shoulders gradually relaxing as you gave him a small timid smile, relieved that he wasnât a freaking squatter and doing god knows what up in the attic.
âyou seem happier to see a dead man rather than a live one...â he looked at you amusedly. âyou like ghosts? scary stuff? haunted houses? handsome me?ââ
you nearly choked on your spit at his last comment, an awkward smile wobbling across your face as you played with your fingers.
âiâ i um..â you looked around, your eyes catching a book titled âhandbook for the recently deceasedâ sitting neatly on a dusty table by the door. âyou could say that.. butââ
you hesitated, the manâs head tilting to the side as he waited for you to continue.
âbut what pretty?â
you blushed furiously, never having met a spirit so forward before.
âsorry butâ how did you end up here?â you stood on your tippy toes to peer over his shoulders and around the attic. âand where are the maitlands?â
âoh, those lousy goodie two shoed meanies?â he mumbled, pouting and bitter as he crossed his arms. âbeats me..â
you laughed a little, guard slowly coming down as he didnât seem or feel like a bad person to you, and you thought that perhaps he was in the same boat as the maitlands and was just trying to find his way to the other side.
âwhy are they meanies?â you smiled, and he reciprocated, arms falling to his sides.
âwellâ iâm kind of being held in the attic against my will by theâ holy shit wait!â
he threw his hands out in front of him and took quick stride full steps towards you, a wild excited expression on his face and you stiffening up again, backing up against the door.
âyou can help me!â
âhelp⌠you..?â you squeaked.
he vigorously nodded. âyeah! the butthead caseworkers down in the netherworld banned me from leaving the attic⌠but you can give me a little leg room in my contract sweets!â
netherworldâ caseworkersâ bannedâ
âhuh?!â you exclaimed, brows furrowed and utterly confused at everything he was fucking saying.
youâve only ever seen spirits from afar or casually talked to them about something fleeting before they went on their marry way, but never in your life have you met such a complex soul that was so animate and asking you for a favor straight off the bat⌠as spirits usually justâ knew what they were doing and eventually figured out how to get to the great beyond.
so the subject of caseworkers and the netherworld and whatever the fuck else he was rambling on about was something you were not familiar with.
âi did something they didnât like.â he gave you a boyish half smile. âso they did some ritual thing and now i canât leave the attic.â
you frowned. âwhy would they do that? what did you do?â
he waved you off and swung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you forward with him towards a huge 3D model in the center of the room that you barely just noticedâ intricate and detailed and colorful as your brain put two and two together and figured out that it was a model of the entire city of winter river.
âdonât worry about it! but i overheard juno telling her assistants not to say my name three times or else iâll be let out to roam around the houseââ
juno? whoâs juno?
ââand thatâs why i really need you sweets because iâm dying in this fucking attic⌠way more than i already am.â
you blinked at him. âiâve neverâ iâve seen spirits all my life and iâve never had any of them tell me about caseworkers? and juno? whoâs juno?â
âthe rule is that the land of the living isnât supposed to know.â he pursed his lips and dropped his arm from your shoulders, picking up the book that you had spotted earlier and passing it to you. âsays it in the handbook.â
you timidly took it from him and flittered through the pages, old and crinkly and a little worn out as the gist of the pages you saw was a guide for those beginning their post-livelihood and the steps they needed to do soâ from waiting rooms in the netherworld to being assigned a caseworker to help you out to the great beyond and so forth, your eyes falling on a particular page and catching specific line.
âlive people ignore the strange and unusual.â
they do. wrongfully they do.
and since people had been ignoring you out of fear your whole life⌠did that mean you were strange and unusual too?
âwhat?â the unknown man spoke, softly as his blue gaze switched between your solemn expression and the book, shifting his position to stand right next to you and see what you were looking at.
âoh sorry!â you laughed it off, closing the book and placing it down. ânothing i was justââ
ââlive people ignore the strange and unusual?ââ he repeated. âwhat about it?â
you shook your head and sent him a small smile. ânothing! i was just lookingââ
âjust because you can see spirits doesnât mean youâre strange or unusual.â
you stilled, eyes big as you watched the way he froze up over what he said, sheepishly relaxing after a moment and lifting an arm to pat over your head.
âsorry pretty. i can read and manipulate minds and i poked in yours...â he looked at you apologetically. âitâs another reason why they threw me in this shit hole.â
he dropped his hand then, a sincere glint in his eyes. âbut i mean it.â
âi donât knowâŚâ you mumbled, looking down and playing with the hem of your skirt. âiâve never really had friends because of it⌠and i feel like that book kind of confirmed what iâve been thinking.â
you quickly picked your head up. âoh butâ itâs okay! iâm okay iâm used to it spirits are nicer anyways and iâve always been alone soââ
âthatâs not true.â he mumbled.
your brows furrowed. âwhat do you mean?â
he funnily froze up again. âwhat do i mean what?â
âwhatâs not true?â
âoh! thatâ that spirits are nicer!â he quickly sputtered. âtheyâre assholes. all of them. every single one. including me!â
you giggled at his franticness and a smile spread across his face at that, endearing as he watched you slowly cheer up.
âpeopleâs ignorance doesnât define who you are sweets.â he spoke gently. âso donât give them that right. you look perfectly fine to me!â
your eyes softened, wondering what the hell this man did that made the caseworkers down in the netherworld ritual him into a contract, as you were convinced it wasnât even that bad at all and just straight up unfair, him being one of the kindest and silliest souls youâve probably ever had the privilege to come across.
âiâll help you.â
his eyes snapped to yours. âhuh?â
âiâll help you!â you spoke sweetly. âiâll say your name three times so you can leave the attic.â
âwhaâ really?!â he exclaimed excitedly, hands animatedly flying everywhere as they went from digging into his white locks to all over his suit and then thrown out to grip over your shoulders, shaking you as you giggled again. âholy shit will you actually?!â
âyeah! why not?â you grinned. âi donât think itâs right that youâre stuck up here all alone.â
âangel! angel! youâre an angel!â he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and stuffed your face into his chest, squishing you so fucking tight and honestly holding you way longer than he shouldâve, but you not minding one tiny bit as you hugged him back and smoothed a comforting friendly hand over his broad shoulders.
âwhatâs your name then?â you muffled against his suit. âso i canââ
âahhh fuck.â he muttered. âi forgot about one thing.â
you pulled back a little. âhm?â
âi canât tell you my name.â
âwhat?â you looked at him confusedly. âwhat do you mean? why not?â
âitâs part of the stupid contract sweets...â he sighed heavily. âbut i can give you clues! ooo!â like charades! ready?â
âoh! oâokay!â you nodded, him finally letting you go and stepping back.
âdonât freak out.â he grinned in a silly way. âiâm about to make things show up.â
your eyebrows furrowed. âmake things show up?â
he waved his hand and a life sized fucking black bug appeared out of nowhere, landing on one of the old wooden rocking chairs in the corner of the room as it wiggled its little legs and peered around, you screaming and flying behind the strange blue eyed man while he laughed loudly and looked over his shoulders for you.
âitâs okay! just a figment of your imagination is all.â he cheesed. âbut guess now!â
âguess what?!â you shrieked.
âwhat that is!â he pointed to the bug.
you peeked an eye out from his side, the bug still gross and horrifying as it wiggled itâs antennas.
âa bug!â
âwhat kind?â
âa beetle!â
âyes!â he nodded vigorously. âokay thatâs the first part!â
âyour name starts with beetle?!ââ
he waved his hand again and the bug disappeared, a carton of orange juice replacing it instead and floating in mid air, a shiny glass cup next to it as you amazedly watched it pour its bright orange contents into the cup without spilling a single drop.
ââŚorange juice?â you spoke softly, timidly coming around from behind him. âyour names beetle orange juice?â
ânot quite!â he made a drinking motion with his hand.
âbeetle drinking orange juice?â
he laughed. âno! youâre adding too many words pretty take some out.â
âbeetle drinking juice?â
ânope.â
âbeetle drinking orange?â
âcolder.â
âbeetlejuice?ââ
âyes!â he threw his hands out, eyes wild and excited. âyes that! and youâve already said it once now just two more timesââ
âbeetlejuice.â
âuh huh uh huhââ
âbeetleâ mmph!â
a pair of hands clasped over your mouth from behind you and pulled you back, you letting out a muffled scream as you thrashed and quickly pried their fingers away, you spinning around and fully expecting to see rin behind you with a shit eating grin and laughing in your face for scaring you.
except it wasnât rin.
it was the maitlands.
âdonât say his name honey.â barbara spoke first. âtrust me⌠donât.â
âi meanâ are we sure about this sweetheart?â adam looked at his wife. âmaybe he isnât all that bad⌠hell we donât even know for sureââ
barbara shook her head. âadam, did you not hear a word juno said? he was about to take advantage of that poor girl!â
take advantage?
you heard a scoff behind you and you turned around, a disgruntled and pissed off look on beetlejuiceâs face as he crossed his arms.
âjeez i know you donât like me but thatâs low.â he mumbled. âi wouldnât do something like that.â
your head turned back to barbara. âyou know who juno is?â
she nodded. âjunoâs our caseworker⌠we got assigned to her in the netherworld after we died.â
âtook us three months waiting in the waiting room until she finally got to us.â adam added, chuckling in humorous disbelief. âbut all she really did was nag at us and warn us about him.â
adam pointed behind you and you turned around again, beetlejuice bitterly looking to the side with his lips pursed.
oh god.
had he been feeding you nonsense this entire time?
âwarn about what.â you mumbled, and beetlejuice snapped his head in your direction with anxious eyes.
âjuno calls him a bio-exorcist.â barbara informed you. âhe tried to illegally cross over to the land of the living and bring himself back to life.â
your eyes bulged open. âback to life? how?â
âyou switch souls with someone else through a ritual.â adam piped in. âjuno says he attempted to trick and switch souls with somebody that was alive so he could terminate all who were living⌠and they didnât even know about it.â
âthatâs not true!â beetlejuice countered, utterly exasperated. âthe old hag made that up!â
he quickly walked towards you, taking your hands in his and looking at you pleadingly.
âplease sweets youâve gotta believe me i never wanted to kill anybodyââ
you ripped your hands away and glared. âso this entire time youâve been lying, playing some hopeless victim so you can poke into my head and find out shit about me to use to your advantage?ââ
âno! no iâ i havenât been lying about anything itâs juno!â
âjuno.â you repeated coldly. âand whatâs she lying about exactly.â
âabout killing the living!â he threw his hands out in emphasis. âshe literally pulled that out of her ass when her and her minions banned meââ
âand what about tricking that person to switch souls with you so you can come back?â
he faltered, words completely failing him and guilty eyes looking into yours so deeply that it nearly made you feel bad for yelling at him.
âthatâs⌠thatâs true.â
you let out a breath of disbelief and barbara put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently and comfortingly as she looked at you with caring eyes.
âwe donât know what to believe either honey.â she began. âitâs a lot of he said she said⌠but itâs better to be safe. he tried to get us to say his name three times too in exchange for his help.â
you quirked a brow. âhelp? what do you guys need help with?â
âyour buddies downstairs.â adam sighed. âtheyâre stealing our things and just messing up the house⌠but weâve been watching you and we know youâve been trying to get them out and so have we⌠horrendously though.â
âoh my godââ you slapped a hand over your gaping mouth. âi totally forgot about them! iâm so so sorry oh my god i canât even begin to explain to you how embarrassing this is iâve been telling them to stopââ
barbara laughed and waved you off. âitâs alright! we know sweetheart. but weâre not frightening enough to scare them off whatsoever⌠so thatâs what we were trying to get his help for.â
âand i still can yâknowâŚâ he muttered. âeven though you hate me.â
âi donât hate you juno does.â she crossed her arms and leaned her weight on one side of her hip. âadam and i are lost we donât know whatâs going on and we canât even read that thing for the recently deceased.â
âweâre just trying to get them out of the house sonâŚâ adam finished off.
and in that moment you felt like you were the one responsible for this. that if you had bitched about it harder, even screamed at rin to get him to stop or damn near called the fucking cops on them so that this wouldnât be happening right now⌠the maitlands wouldnât have to suffer and struggle like this every waking day to protect their home and what rightfully still belonged to them even after death.
because the maitlandâs roaming around and producing shadows and figures and scaring the realtors and prospected buyers off wasnât just for shits and giggles⌠but to try and keep what was once theirs and feel a sense of normalcy for the life they once had.
that was their great beyond. their home.
âiâll get them to leave.â you smiled at barbara and adam. âi donât care if i literally have to start fist fighting with his friends this is so unfairââ
âwait! areâ are you sure sweets?â beetlejuice interjected worriedly. âyour boyfriendâs kind of nuts and i canât help you once you leave the atticââ
âiâm sure.â you mumbled, still bitter and annoyed at him. âcanât be anymore nuts than you basically trying to kill someone so you can prance around alive againââ
âi already apologized to the entire netherworld nation for that!â he argued. âbut if you ask me, if itâs so bad then they shouldnât have put the fucking instructions in the guidebook.â
âjuno says guidebook reveals to you what you want most.â adam spoke. âbecause barb and i didnât see a single page that had to do with that⌠mostly just tips on how to scare the living.â
beetlejuice closed his eyes exhaustedly and shook his head. âdoesnât matter. iâm not trying to trick anyone right now i just want to get out of this damn atticââ
he looked to you again. ââplease say my name three times pretty iâve poked in your boyfriends head and heâs looney i donât want you toââ
âiâll see you guys in a sec!â you walked over to the door and left a sputtering frustrated beetlejuice behind. âif nothing works iâll literally just take my boyfriends keys and drive the car down the hill, he freaks over that thingââ
your voice trailed off as you walked down the creaky stairs of the attic and down the hall of the second floor, the maitlands main bedroom coming into view as you tried to get a script together in your head as to what exactly you were gonna tell rin⌠but your footsteps quickening at the sound of loud yelling and laughing coming from inside the bedroom, sounds of glass shattering and moving furniture making you panic as you practically stumbled in from the doorway.
and your heart stopped, rin standing there with a crow bar in his hands that he got from who the fuck knows where, smashing multiple vases and porcelain jewelry cases and stuffing his pockets full of anything that looked shiny and valuable in his eyes, the mattress and blankets thrown over to the side and the mainlandâs things just completely ransacked as you took it all in.
ârin!â
he jumped and spun around, brows pinching upon seeing you standing there.
âwhat are you doing here? i thought you left?â
âwhat the fuck?!â you gestured to the broken shards on the floor and strewn about articles of clothing. âwhat the hell is wrong with you?!â
âcalm down babe itâs fine.â he turned and smashed another small jewelry case, you scoffing in response. âitâs all useless shit thatâs gonna dust overââ
âget out.â
he snorted. âuh huhââ
âiâm serious rin get out.â you spat. âall of you.â
âyeah like iâd listen to you.â he spoke harshly, eyes narrowed and sharp as he turned again. âgo wait in the fucking car or go homeââ
âiâm calling the cops.â
âwhat?!â
a series of protests and worrisome comments erupted in the air from the group, all thrown directly at a fuming rin as he chucked his crow bar to the sideâ it clattering on the wooden floor as he hastily trudged over to you and gripped your upper arm, yanking you with him and out of the room into the hallway by the stairs.
âwhat the fuck do you think youâre doing huh?â he spoke lowly and in your face. âembarrassing me in front of my friends like that?â
you shoved him off. âget out and find another building or iâm calling the cops rin.â
âyeah and if you do that iâm telling them youâre a shitty psychic medium so they can throw you in the shrink.â
your jaw dropped.
rin was being meaner than usual.
âwhy are you like this.â you mumbled. âi donât even know why iâm still with you youâre an asshole and youâre patheticââ
he got in your face again and grabbed your jaw, pressing you up against the railing of the staircase and damn near throwing you over as the edge of it dug into your lower back, your fingers gripping his arm and struggling to pull him away from you while his friends quietly gasped and silently watched in shock.
âpathetic? me?â he laughed humorously. âyouâre the one who doesnât have anything or anyone besides me and yet you still treat me like this you ungrateful bitchââ
ârin okay thatâs enough dude let her goââ
âyou wanna shut up? or do you wanna trade spots with her?â his fiery crazed eyes switched over to his friend, him only cowering under rinâs intense stare and shaking his head no, diverting his gaze and you still squirming and tugging for your freedom.
âgetâ off meââ
âor what?â he pushed you further back and your breath hitched, your feet off the ground now at this point as one of your hands shot out to grip the railing for support. âyou gonna call your ghost friends for help? go ahead i wanna see you do it you lyingââ
âbeetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice!â
a thunderous roar broke out into the air, actual lightning and black smokey fog spreading over the ceiling and around you as rin instantly let you go and looked around, all of his friends in a pure state of fear and alarm as they lost sight of each other amongst the suffocating mistâ including you as you frantically tried to look for a clear path out, unable to decide if you regretted what you had just done.
ânever seen a man with such a power trip!â a booming voice echoed through the house that you quickly recognized to be beetlejuiceâs, the walls vibrating with each word. âseems to me like itâs all bark and no bite!â
âwhat did you do y/n?!â you heard rinâs distant yelling from somewhere you couldnât pinpoint, the air cold and prickling at your skin. âwho did you call?!â
âa god!â beetlejuice excitedly answered. âachilles preferably! wait actually heâs a demigod not aââ
âwho the fuck is achilles?!â
the air cleared in the center suddenly and revealed a petrified rin, wide eyed and angry as he whipped his head around to try and figure out what was going on.
âyou donât know who achilles is?â half of beetlejuice popped out of nowhere from above the fog and his friends screamed at the mere size of him, for he wasnât the normal looking man you saw before but a borderline monsterâ huge and crazed as he looked down at rin in particular with a scary grin.
but his eyes were still a fascinating sparkling blue, oddly familiar in a way as you watched the scene before you through the black air, beetlejuice continuing.
âread a book your stupid is showing.â
he lunged while simultaneously popping his eyeballs out of their sockets with his tongue out, cartoonish and terrifying as his friends yelled for help and scrambled to try and leave, struggling though the smothering mist as you placed a hand over your mouth in shock.
beetlejuice sucked his eyeballs back in and blinked to adjust. âwhat? you guys scared too? shouldnât have been so mean to my little sweets over there then!â
they all looked to you and you froze, rinâs gaze narrowing.
âhis little sweets?â he clenched his jaw. âthe hells he talking about?â
beetlejuice didnât know why rin was so dumb for even attempting at getting near you again after everything he did and saidâ his footsteps quick and stompy towards you until he straight up smacked into an invisible wall and doubled back with a hand over his nose, your brows pinching in confusion.
you timidly reached a hand out, expecting your fingers to touch an invisible barrier except there wasnât one at all as they fell through completely over nothing, your arm slowly retracting back to your chest.
you looked up at beetlejuiceâs huge figure, and he gave you a bright cute smile that made your cheeks heat up.
âthis is bullshit!â rin roared, wiping his bloody nose with the back of his hand and pointing at you after. âyouâre a goddamn nutcase y/n! what kind of show are you putting on huh?!â
âme?!â you shot back. âmaybe you should stop being a dick for once in your life and listen when i tell you things you idiot.â
âyup!â beetlejuice quipped. âdoll if youâre still with him after all of this iâm gonna have to start haunting you in your dreams.â
your gaze switched to beetlejuice and you laughed, a little glint to his eye as he watched you shake your pretty head.
âi was gonna dump him the minute i got him out of the houseââ
âwhat?!â rin barked. âdump me? for what?!â
you scoffed. âare you serious? what do you mean for what?â
âfuckâ babe okay iâm sorry alright? iâm sorry iâm just a little overwhelmed right nowââ
âyouâre a sack of shit.â beetlejuice spat. âand call her babe again and iâll start the engine of your car and ram it through a tree.â
you snickered and rin swiveled around to face him.
âwhy donât you stay out of this freak and leave my girlfriend aloneââ
âsweets iâll make him go away if you marry me.â
you choked, flustered and stiff as you looked at him, bewildered out of your mind.
âhuh?!â
âpretty pleeaaseee.â he dragged. âyou saying my name got me out of the attic but not the house itself⌠but if you marry me iâm a free man!â
âhow does thatââ you let out a shocked breath. âhow does that even make senseââ
âmarry me.â
âbut i!ââ
âmarry me thatâs my condition.â
âhold on!ââ
rin dove at you with the full intention to grab you and pull you away, but eyes widening in terror as an invisible force practically grabbed his ankle and sweeped him back and away from you, dragging his body across the wooden floor and over to beetlejuice, his friends having enough of all of this and making a run for it down the stairs.
âoh! i almost forgot about you guys!â
beetlejuice nudged his head and they were sent flying back just like rin, all of them screaming and pleading for mercy as their bodies dragged across the floor and returned to him.
âwhich of you should i gobble up right now⌠iâm feeling the one on the far right! heâs trembling like a little leafââ
âplease no!â he cried. âiâllâ iâll do anything! iâll leave iâll neverââ
ââand iâll save rin for the very end⌠best for last right?!â
they all wailed and clawed at the foggy air, your body unmoving as you tried to figure out if beetlejuice was actually being serious.
âplease man!ââ
âiâm sorry iâm so sorry!ââ
âdonât apologize to me you doofuses.â another invisible force grabbed them all by the ankles and pulled them up, dangling them upside down. âapologize to her. then maybe iâll spare you⌠howâs that sound?!â
ây/n! please! iâm sorryââ
âweâre sorry dear god!ââ
ây/n!ââ
âputâ put them down!â you wavered. âthatâs enough itâs okay! jesus..â
âawww already?!â beetlejuice pouted. âbut i havenât even started swinging them around yet⌠like a little ferris wheel! heh.â
you slapped a hand over your mouth to suppress a laugh once rin and his friends started wailing in fear again, you shaking your head and smiling at him.
âitâs okay! next time! just let them go iâm sure theyâll runââ
ây/n, it seems like you understand me⌠youâre the only one that hasnât bitten my head off in the entire three years that iâve been dead!â
you laughed again. âiâm glad! now put them down pleaseââ
âso be my wife then.â
âbeetlejuice!â
âwhat?!â he whined. âyou donât wanna be my lawful wedded wife?â
âno!â wellâ justââ
âis it because iâm dead?â
âput them down and iâll consider it!â
âyes maâam!â
the invisible force dropped them and they slammed against the hardwood floors, each and every single one of them fumbling to get their things that flew out of their pockets while upside down and scurrying away, hurried footsteps stomping down the staircase as they tripped over their feet to get to and out the front door, you observing in amusement and slight guilt, leaning over the edge of the staircase to watch them go.
and the second that they did, the stuffy black fog lifted and felt immensely lighter, it dispersing into the air above you as it thinned out to a mere silly mist, cold and wet to the touch and similar to the air youâd feel after a long days worth of rainfall and cloudy weather, slow strides coming up from behind you as you saw beetlejuiceâs shiny raven leather dress shoes out of the corner of your eye, you standing upright and turning to him.
he smiled warmly at you.
âthank you.â you grinned, bashful as he reached and fixed up your hairâ hands smoothing over your head and down before his fingers lightly grazed and played with the ends of your strands.
âyouâre welcome.â he murmured. âthank you for getting me out of the attic sweets!â
you kindly nodded.
âsweetheart, are you alright?â
you looked back and saw the maitlands, barbara walking up with outstretched arms and pulling you in for a hug.
âthat boy was insane!â she pulled back and held you out at an arms length by the shoulders. âwe tried so hard to intervene while he was yelling at you but weâre useless⌠they couldnât see us.â
you giggled. âno itâs okay! really you didnât need to i wouldnât ever wanna put you guys in that position.â
âhoneyâ he almost pushed you off the railingâŚâ adam spoke softly. âif you hadnât called for beetlejuice lord knows what he wouldâve done⌠he was so aggressive and we were worriedâŚâ
your heart warmed, never in your life having been so cared for and looked afterâ funnily enough that you were receiving that sacred feeling from beings that were dead rather than living and it reminding you a little bit of the way your parents were with you when you were young, when they were still alive.
âweâre sorry for being so hard on you kidâŚâ barbara sighed, gaze shifting to beetlejuice. âmistakes happen. iâm sure your passing was something you werenât expecting like us.â
âoh! no itâs okay donât.â he smiled brightly. âi almost killed a man i understand.â
âbut we understand too.â adam added, and you felt like he was also referring to something you had no clue about as he had a particular look in his eyes, something that was only amongst them three. âi wouldâve considered the same.â
beetlejuice swung an arm around your shoulders and looked down at you.
âso are you my little wife?â
âokayââ barbara laughed. ânot that you know thisââ
âadam! barbara!â
a sudden shriek boomed through the house and beetlejuice instantly pulled you behind him, waving his hand and an invisible force sending you further away until your back gently bumped against the wall, panic rising in your chest as the same black fog from earlier returned and swirled around you, blocking your vision.
was he⌠was he hiding you? what for?
âjuno!â beetlejuice greeted, laughing awkwardly. âheyy long time no see!â
oh.
âzip it bozo.â
from the cracks and openings that you could see through the whirling wind, a proper old lady in professional office attire stood there with her arms crossed, a pissed off look on her face as she tapped her heel against the floor and played with the pearls around her neck.
âwhat did i tell you two about letting him free?â she scolded. âheâs a loose cannon! heâs not to be trusted!â
âi know i know weâre sorry⌠we just really needed to get those kids out! and theyâre gone! and beetlejuice seems alright!â barbara looked to her husband, a desperate flicker in her gaze. âright adam?â
âyes! uh uh!â adam stepped forward and sighed softly. âplease juno⌠heâs just a kid. heâs learned and what he did was three years agoââ
âwhat he did couldâve cost me my job and set my entire office up in flames.â juno lectured, pointing her wrinkly finger at beetlejuice next. âyou broke a million undead laws and have hundreds of violation codes on your record. your punishment was to stay in the attic for eternity.â
eternity?
oh god no.
âbut now iâm gonna have to send you to live inside mr. maitlandâs winter river model and you better stay there!â
âwhat?!â beetlejuice scoffed. âjuno please thereâs gotta be a way i can lift those violations?â
âiâm afraid there isnât.â she seethed.
âpretty please?â
âno.â
âwith a cherry on top?â
âabsolutely not.â
ânot even probation?ââ
ânot even probation! youâre gone!â
your eyes blew open as you watched juno extend an arm out and move it to the side, a bright white blinding light encasing her entire figure and you quickly pushed a hand through the black fog and grabbed the back of beetlejuiceâs suit, everything around you scarily blurring out and disappearing and you squeezed your eyes shut, arms reaching out to wrap around his upper torso as you buried your face in his back.
you didnât want him to go⌠not at all. and the thought of him stuck inside a model forever like that all alone terrified you.
you understood why he was punished in the first place, but why couldnât juno just see that he was good? that all he was trying to do was come back to life and live? something many other souls would also kill for?
hadnât he been punished enough already? he stood stuck in that attic for three god damn years straight with no means of escape whatsoever, and now he was shamefully being sent to live inside a styrofoam cardboard model that was far worse than that stupid attic, for now he couldnât be seen by anyone even if he truly wanted to be.
had that not been enough? enough of a sign to reconsider his contract?
why couldnât he just be given a second fucking chanceâ
âpretty?â
you opened your eyes, forehead quickly detaching from his back and looking up, his piercing blue eyes staring down at you worriedly from behind as he shifted his body a little in your hold to face you.
âwhat are you doing here i thoughtââ his surprised gaze shifted over to the way you were clutching onto him, and he relaxed, smiling a little.
âyou grabbed me baby?â
âiââ you let him go and stepped back, your cheeks a vibrant pinky shade. âyâyeahâŚâ
he turned around fully.
âwhy?â
âbecauseââ you bit your bottom lip, peering cutely up at him.
âbecause i thought we were getting marriedâŚâ
beetlejuiceâs expression dropped and he stared at you wide eyed, his face reddening at your words.
âi donâtâ i donât understandââ
âwhat?â you giggled. âi thought you proposed to me earlier?â
âi did! yes i did!â he rapidly nodded. âbutâ but are you actually serious?â
you nodded. âmhm! i am!â
âyou can say no sweets honestly itâs okayâŚâbeetlejuice spoke softly with pinched brows. âiâll cry myself to sleep and shrivel up but i can handle it donât worry about meââ
you laughed and nudged his shoulder with yours. âi wanna marry you⌠i wanna set you free.â
you walked over to a little bench, the feeling of you stepping on rubber and glue a little weird under your feet as you sat down and smiled, gently patting the spot next to you.
âiâm not letting you stay here forever by yourself, not when youâve been doing that already for years.â you murmured, him taking a seat next to you with a yearn-full but apprehensive face.
âyou deserve to do the things you want to do and see the things you want to seeâŚâ you looked at him so sincerely and loving that he felt his undead heart throb. â⌠and if i can help you in anyway to get you there i donât care what it is. i canât think of anyone more deserving of freedom than you.â
âyouâre so pureâŚâ he softly took your hand, yours warm and pumping in comparison to his cold and stiff one. âyou always have been.â
he stared at your hand still, his index finger delicately tracing over the faint markings of your working veins underneath your skin, trying to remember what they looked like on him when he was alive, and if they ever looked as precious as yours did.
beetlejuice raised your hand and kissed it, eliciting a fuzzy blush to your cheeks.
âi think weâre meant to be.â
you faltered slightly, for you felt a rush of deja vu hit you like a stifling wave.
âhave we met?â you teasingly asked. âbefore you died?â
he laughed and shook his head.
you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, beetlejuice still tracing the lines and indentations of your hand before you spoke up again.
âi have a question.â
his content eyes switched to yours before they looked back down. âyes sweets?â
âis your name really beetlejuice?â
he weirdly stopped, and you quirked a brow.
âitâsâŚâ he swallowed. âitâs not.â
âoh what the?â you paused, a little puzzled. âwhere did it come from?â
âjuno.â he snickered. âthe old hag said it fit how bizarre and stupid i was, so she put it in my contract.â
âoh my fucking god.â you mumbled. âwhy the hell would she do that? thatâs cruel⌠youâve already paid the price for what you did the least she could do is address you by your given name.â
beetlejuice laughed cutely, his eyes twinkling as he looked at you.
âthat woman doesnât care baby⌠so donât sweat it.â he lifted a hand and ruffled your hair. âand if you ask me, she needs to retire immediately. likeâ yesterday. all she does is fucking nag at me and the rest of her damn clients.â
you giggled.
âso whatâs your name then?â
ânot important! now i say we figure out a way to get out of this rinky dink modelââ
your eyes narrowed.
âwhy wonât you tell me your name?â
ââor maybe we should just stay and make ourselves at home!ââ
âyou wonât tell your soon to be wife your name?ââ
ââoh! oh! i can manifest a little jacuzzi in the middle of the cemetery thatâs neatââ
you slapped a hand over his mouth and he stopped, your pleading little eyes making him guiltily melt against your hold.
âyour name.â you urged softly, lowering your hand and revealing a little frown that he had on his lips. âplease.â
âiââ he blinked, utterly remorseful. âi canât⌠i canât tell you my name.â
your brows pinched. âwhy not? is part of your contract?â
ânoâ well yes.â he sighed deeply through his nose, and you wondered why he looked so⌠strained.
âitâs not their contract, but my contract⌠with you.â
you froze.
âwithââ you struggled. âi donâtââ
he rubbed his tired sunken eyes.
âitâs okay sweets but thatâs all you need to knowââ
âno.â you replied firmly. âwhat i need to know is your name.â
he dropped his arms and shook his head desperately. ây/n please i put that contract on you to protect you ifâ if i tell you my name youâll be hurt and i donât want thatââ
âwhat do you mean?â you bitterly scooched away from him on the bench and he stubbornly moved closer, eliminating the distance you had created.
âi lied when you asked me if we had met.â
your heart dropped.
âbecause we have⌠and iâ i wanted you to forget me so i took away your memories and if i tell you my nameââ
he swallowed hard.
â⌠itâll break the contract. and youâll remember me again.â
you stared at him, his regretful tortured gaze so anguishing that it was almost unbearable to watch him endure it, wanting to mend it instead, something that already felt so right and easy to you and in no way shape or form unfamiliar.
slowly, you reached up and cupped his cold cheeks in your hands, bringing his forehead to rest against yours.
âbut i want to remember youâŚâ you murmured. ââŚplease let me.â
his pupils worriedly shook as they darted all around your striking features, his name practically hanging off the edge of his tongue but his throat physically unable to get the words out, for his dead heart was pulling and fighting with his vocal chords to prevent him from doing so, everything within him wanting to save you from memories he had to live with even after death.
but the other part of him was filled with such intense longing for you that it effortlessly slipped between the cracks of his defensive wall of not telling you his nameâŚthe relentless feeling going straight to his heart and mind and strangling the fuck out of it to get a formidable yes instead.
he wanted the life he once had. more than anything.
âsatoru.â
something snapped in your brain and you flinched back, memories flooding through your mind faster than the speed of light as you recollected each and every moment in your existence, for the sentiment of vacancy and like a specific thing was just missing in your life was finally put back in its rightful placeâ for the thing that was missing in particular was him.
satoru gojo.
there were images of meeting him when you were both itty bitty in middle school under a magnolia tree, him sporadic and silly and making you laugh so hard on the third day of school that strawberry milk blew out of your nose and all over his clothes, satoru not having a care in the world as he cackled along with you and thought the way you made liquid come out of your nose was cool.
and there were images of the both of you becoming the best of friendsâ never one without the other as you pulled pranks on your teachers and ended up in detention together almost everyday, your parents utterly done with you as you never seemed to get it through your head how to behave, the both of you brushing off your scoldings and lectures because you had each other to endure all of it with.
and you saw how much he cared about you.
how he would physically fight and yell and reprimand anyone who called you a freak, anyone who spread rumors about you and your psychic medium abilities as he constantly reminded you everyday that your gift was sacred⌠a treasure while he wiped your tear stained cheeks and cheered you up after another day of your classmates poking fun at you, him saying that your skills were the coolest and how much he wished he was just like you, how much you both were meant to be as he loved ghost stories and scary stuff.
you saw how you fell in love too.
and it didnât take long either, as your stolen glances and teasing turned into much more as soon as you grew and went to high school together, the both of you making it official literally your freshman year despite the apprehensions from your parents on both sides because of how young you were.
but it never proved to be an issue, you and satoru not once stumbling over a hiccup since the two of you had built such a strong foundation of genuine friendship and care before you blessedly fell in love, satoru throughout your years together absolutely smitten over you as he always passed you silly notes during class that had a gazillion hearts scribbled all across with your name in the middle, telling you all of the time just how much he loved and cherished you to the point where you had to funnily push him away from you to get him to stop smothering you, you always giving in anyways due to the fact that you were just as smitten, physically unable to go a day without him, and him still physically unable to not iterate how you were meant to be.
satoru understood you, satoru listened to you, and satoru believed you whenever you would speak on your psychic gift and how you had spoken casually to a spirit just the other day, him always interested and unbelievably amazed at everything you had to say as he bombarded you with fifty questions and begged you to teach him how to see spirits too.
he was respectful and supportive of you through it all.
especially when your parents died.
satoru wouldnât leave your side. he refused to as you tried to piece together what the fuck had just happened, their accident so sudden and weird that it never made sense to you and still didnât to this day.
and you grieved of course, cried and weeped and clung to satoru like a moth to a flame, feeling alone and without your biggest support systemâ without your loving peculiar parents that gave you your priceless gift in the first place, him accepting your tears with open arms as he encouraged you to let it all out and was worried for you when it seemed like you had moved on rather quickly from it.
but it was simply because your parents werenât afraid of the afterlife. it was because your parents had talked so much about it and taught you everything that they knew, that you were convinced their souls peacefully made it through to the great beyond straight away and together, for you never saw their spirits roaming around aimlessly after and feeling eternally grateful for that, your whole life being about acknowledging and embracing the mysteries of life after death.
the knowledge of knowing they were at peace was enough to get you by for a little while.
satoru continued to check in on you about it though... even when it was the end of your junior year and nearing a year since their passing, his parents kindly taking you in after the ordeal and making satoru sleep on the floor and you taking over his bed since they didnât have an extra room, satoru doing it without even needing to be told and you thanking all of them any chance you got for their amicable kindness and tried to pay them back, satoru checking in on you every night with a series of timid âare you okayâsâ and âare you happyâsâ before going to bed, your arm dangling off the edge so you could intertwine your fingers while you slept.
you were never alone like you thought you were. ever.
because of satoru.
and he made it obvious that he wanted to marry you too, that he wanted to have you for the rest of his life and didnât give a single shit if you were both only 18 and barely starting college, him deeming it pointless for the both of you to pretend like the hope of marriage wasnât there just for the sake of shutting up his parents, as every time he brought it up you stammered and blushed and fidgeted and he only giggled at you, telling you it would happen soon, to be ready, and to sit pretty and patient until the right time came.
except it never did.
because satoru gojo died a year later following that on halloween, precisely on his way over to your dorm when he was snatched by an unknown man and murdered in the middle of the night, you stuck wondering what had happened to him and why he wasnât answering the phone when he was hours late to come get you, your chest on fire and aching as the feeling in your gut was weirdly excruciating, a part of you completely torn away and lost and you had no idea why until the very next morning.
and he had to watch you mourn. properly this time and not at all like the way you did for your parents, as this time it was fucking worse, painfully and all alone and for no way for him to get to you and comfort youâ to tell you it was okay to cry and that he loved you, to tell you to be happy, to be hopeful for the future and hopeful to the thought of spending the rest of your lives together and being meant to be.
but instead he had to watch you wail and scream in your pillow every night with no saving, clutching his clothes and things and picture frames, you making yourself sick as the grief was too much to bareâ everything that your parents had said to you and taught you about the afterlife meaning absolutely jack shit as the workings of supposed fate took away the only thing that ever made you happy.
satoruâs dream was to live with you. and it was taken away from him so brutally that he went absolutely nuts in the netherworld.
because yes he violated every single fucking undead law in the book and jumped over restricted gates and strange passage ways and doors, shoved through emotionless security guards, ignored junoâs warnings, and yes he tricked a living human being so he could exchange souls with himâ
all for the sole purpose of getting back to you.
it was always for you.
and now, him sitting next to you with an anxious waiting expression, your body and mind now feeling the effects of not having seen him for three entire years and the way your conscious mind grieved for him and his return, his skin sickishly pale and cold but still so handsome nonetheless⌠absolutely broke you.
it broke you as you let out a strangled hiccup and covered your mouth tightly with both hands, eyes squeezing painfully shut as you reeled over and wailed with a broken heart, for you were mourning the loss of him all over again.
âbaby no pleaseââ he quickly caught you and brought you to his chest, his breathing erratic and with the biggest lump in his throat. âsee? i didnât want you to remember iâ i wanted you to forgetâ
you continued to bawl and borderline scream out in agony, his words meaning absolutely nothing at this moment as your mind wouldnât quit flashing painful memories through your mind, memories that were once entirely missing as they suffocated you with displays of satoru in his grave over and over and over again.
âi canâtââ he frantically looked around for something, anything that would make you feel better before looking back down. âlook at meââ
âwhy did you leave?!â you wailed, pushing him away as the sight of you drowning in your tears ripped him to shreds. âwhy did you abandon me toru?! why did youââ
âiâm sorââ his voice gave out and he placed a hand over his heart, tears slipping from his eyes. âiâm sorry iâm so sorry iâ i never wanted to leaveââ
he reached out and tugged you in again, your body slumping against his as he struggled over his sobs.
âi didnât want to die i tried so hard not to dieââ
his words only made you cry harder as he gripped you tighter and shut his mouth, his frame trembling against yours and his tears trickling down and wetting your hair.
âyou left me! you were supposed to comeâ hicâ to come get me! you were supposed to marry me!ââ
you were babbling mindlessly at this point, your shattered heart taking over the words that were tumbling out of your mouth as you gripped and clawed at his suit, trying to bury yourself in his skin and stay there where you belonged.
he was too cold. and you couldnât hear a heart beat.
satoru could only cry and bawl with you as he gently rocked you side to side, knowing that there was nothing he could do to make you feel better, and nothing he could do to come back to life.
no matter how much he wanted it.
no matter how much you wanted it.
this is what fate had decided for the two of you.
âi tried so hard.â he mumbled. âi never stopped trying to get to you thatâs why juno hates me so much because iâve violated fucking everything.â
he pressed his lips to your forehead and laid his cheek on it after.
âi got sent to the attic and i couldnât look after you anymore and i didnât even get the chance to let you see me eitherââ
besides the fact that he took your memories, that explained why you never saw his spirit after he died, and you quickly pulled back again and narrowed your bloodshot eyes at him.
âwhy did you take my memories i neverâ hic!â i never asked you to i never wantedââ
âbecause i didnât want you to grieve over me prettyâŚâ he gently wiped your cheeks while you cried. âyou were hurting so much and it was torture watching you suffer like that.â
you sniffled and wiped your eyes with the base of your palm.
âi wanted to see you happyâŚâ satoru finished off.
âwas i?â
he dropped his hands and frowned.
âwere you?â
âno!â you muttered. âmy entire life iâve felt like something was missing and i didnât know why⌠like thisâ this block in my brain that i couldnât figure out and it was always just empty and like something was supposed to be there.â
you tucked your hair behind your ear and solemnly looked down, a pulsing headache racking through you from how much you were crying.
âi had to live with the fact that i was alone and that i never had anyone⌠and i had accepted that too⌠only this entire time i did have someone. you.â
and oddly enough, through everything that happenedâ all of the memories that you now remembered and the devastating death of your late boyfriend, you finally felt a little bit less strange and unusual.
because you always thought that something was wrong with you for feeling the way that you did, for craving somethingâ someone that never existed, for wanting to fill the void that you now know satoru once happily sat in, all of these things now officially clicking into place and bringing you the weirdest sense of peace you had probably ever felt.
âi wish you never made me forget.â you mumbled. âyouâre worth remembering toruâŚ. even if it hurts me.â
he guiltily nodded and sniffed. âmâsorry⌠i thought you were better off forgetting.â
a part of him still does, because the small glimpses he caught of you no longer crying and just simply living after he took your memories away, was enough to bring him a tiny sense of relief just before he got banished to the attic, hopeful that you would live a long and happy life even if it was painfully without him.
but the minute he sensed you coming up to the house earlier that night with him thinking he was going absolutely insane and if it was truly you, was also enough to send all of that out the fucking window and falling back into a pit of despair and longing for you when he finally saw you againâ for the first time in three years, looking just as pretty as he remembered and a little more grown up.
you slowly shook your head side to side, lifting your arms to wrap around his neck and him immediately responding, snaking them around your waist and pulling your warm beating body flush against his chest.
âdo you still love me?â he murmured. âeven though iâm dead?â
you slightly snorted, softly kissing his cheek.
âiâll always love you toru. wherever you are.â
âiâll always love you.â
he pulled back and gently smiled, eyes flickering to your soft lips as he juggled in his mind if it was okay to kiss you, every fiber of his undead being begging for it after missing and wishing it for so long, left with only recollections of your kisses to suffice through the years that he spent without you and wondering if he still had the right toâ since even though you were once his, and he shamelessly still considered you his, he didnât know if you were on the same page.
but you were.
it would be stupid not to be.
you leaned your pretty little face closer to his, timid doe eyed gaze looking at him so fondly that it brought back that same familiar feeling he felt with you those years ago, his hands coming up and settling themselves on your warm lively cheeks, holding you like fragile porcelain.
but were his dead lips still worthy of yours? even after everything heâd done?
âtoru.â
he hummed.
âdo you remember our first kiss?â
âuh huh.â he breathed out softly. âit was in my room.â
âi thinkââ your nose brushed with his. âi think we should have our second first kiss.â
he bit his bottom lip and smiled.
âyou think so?â
âi do.â
he hummed again, his thumb gently grazing over your plushy lips.
âi think it should look a little more like the first time.â
he tilted his head to the side a tiny bit and a delicate gust of wind brushed through your hair, your surroundings now completely and miraculously morphed into his room with the both of you sitting on his bedâ just like how you remembered it and basically had grown up in as you slowly took in your surroundings.
âhow the fuckââ
he laughed a little, lifting one hand and keeping the other still on your cheek, his index finger lightly tapping the center of your forehead.
âmind manipulation pretty.â he grinned. âcool huh? i poked in your head again.â
âyeah!â you giggled. âvery cool.â
âyou know what else would be cool?â
âwhat?â
âif you gave me a little kiss.â
you tilted your head to the side and leaned in again, your breath fanning across his face and your lips so close but not quite that it was fucking excruciating.
âyou want a kiss toru?â
âuh huh.â
âhow badâ mmph!ââ
satoru didnât even let you finish that sentence as he stuffed his tongue in your mouth greedily, wet and messy kisses smacking through the room as he cradled your jaw, cold lips delving all over yours and him giddy over the sensation of your warm mouth in comparison to his, your hands clutching his blazer and making out so sensually as you made up for the time that was stolen from you.
and the only thing the two of you felt in each others arms then was serenityâ one pumping, working heart and the other stiff, unmoving and cold, still equally beating for one another even through the restrictions of death, for satoruâs heart continued to move and love you regardless of how lifeless it may have appeared.
he suddenly pulled away, breathless.
âsweets?â
âyeah?â
âwhere in the actual fuck did you meet rin?â
you laughed, pulling back a bit to look at him with a regretful look. âknowing what i know now, iâm sick to my stomach toru.â
âdid you meet him after i died?â
you nodded. âhe was in one of my literature classes⌠and since back then i only remembered living my lifeâ alone, i guess he was the first person that didnât make me feel that way. at the start.â
âlame.â he mumbled. âyou cheated on me sweets.â
âno!â you laughed again, giving him a little pout. âhe was awful. horrendous. and i only stayed because i didnât wanna be alone again⌠even though i shouldnât have.â
you leaned and gave him a soft tiny lingering peck.
âdid you love him?â he murmured against your lips, and you shook your head.
âremembering you again made me realize what being in love with someone was supposed to feel like.â you reached and brushed through the front stands of his white hair mindlessly. âand it was no where near what i felt for rin. i didnât feel anything for him actually.â
he pursed his lips to the side, eyes squinting in thought and distaste.
âhmmmâŚâ
you giggled. âwhat toru?â
he hated that you got associated with a guy like that, and hated even more that rin was kissing and hugging and touching you whenever the fuck he wanted when you were his first.
âiâm gonna haunt him for the rest of his life.â
you playfully rolled your eyes and nudged him. âhonestly? do it. he sucks.â
âand you know what else sweets?â
you quirked a little brow. âwhat?â
âiâm gonna make you forget!â
âtoru!â you giggled. âno more taking memorââ
satoru leaned his face closer to yours and you froze up, wide eyed as a little mischevious glint in his vibrant blue gaze made you fidget.
he slowly grinned and tilted his head, lips coming closer to the side of your ear and tantalizingly hovering, arms snaking around your torso and pulling you up against him.
âdid you let him touch you pretty?â
âtâtouch?ââ
âmhm.â he gripped you a little tighter. âdid you?â
âum.â you squirmed a bit, your body turning hot in the matter of seconds. âwhatâ what do you meanââ
âdid you let him fuck you.â
your breath hitched and your cheeks went pink, hands timidly resting flat on his chest and feeling a little⌠guilty.
âmaybeââ you paused, shaky breaths blowing through your nose. âmaybe onceââ
satoru shot up to stand and hauled you with him, a squeal slipping past your lips as he hiked you up and brought your legs around his waist, walking across the room in quick strides and plopping you down roughly on his desk, kicking away his chair and it slamming against the wall as it rolled back.
âtoru?ââ
âwhy canât i make you forget⌠hm?â he grazed his lips from your jaw and up the side of your cheek, feather like as he squeezed and kneaded at your thighs, your heart fucking hammering against your chest.
âwhy would you wanna remember being with someone else other than me babyâŚâ
âiâ i donât but you erased my memoriesââ
he pulled back and tutted, head shaking and fingers drumming against your thighs. âdoesnât matter! shouldâve avoided them like the plague silly.â
you giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him gently in.
âi wouldâve if i remembered.â
âremember this remember thatââ he smiled brightly and brought his face close to yours once more.
âyâknow what?â he cutely pecked your lips. âiâm gonna help you remember something!â
your brows pinched momentarily in curiosity. âwhat?â
âthat iâm the only man that ever gets to fuck you.â
satoru smashed his lips against yours and pulled you in tight, the bulge in his dress pants abundantly obvious as he grinded and rutted his aching cock on your clothed pussy, you gasping in his mouth at the feeling as you tried to keep up with his feverish fast kisses.
he slipped his icy hands underneath your top and you jumped at the change in temperature, satoru ravishing you up and obsessed with the heat your body produced and radiated, leaving him toasty for once and bringing a faux sense of life to him.
âdid you forget that too?â he murmured against your lips, hands ever so slowly creeping up and sliding under your bra to grope your plump tits. âhow i feel?â
ânuh uh.â you breathed out. âi didnâtââ
âtell me what you remember then sweetsâŚâ
he slid his hands back down and hiked your skirt up, you lifting your hips a little to help him bring it up as high as he possibly could, your pretty little panties tight and suffocating your pussy as his fingers came down to play with your swollen needy clit.
âi rememberââ your mouth hung open, words lodging in your throat.
âhm?â he shoved his hand in your panties and your eyes fluttered closed, him placing open wet mouthed kisses all over your neck and chest, your mind unable to grasp the amount of pleasure he was getting out with simply just his fingers, pleasure you missed so fucking badly as he slipped his digits up and down your folds.
âyour dickââ satoru pushed two fingers inside of you and you whined. âi remember the way you felt.â
âyeah?â he pulled back from your chest and grinned, fingers squelching as they pumped in and out. âand how did i feel?â
âbig.â you choked out, legs spreading wider as you gripped the edge of his desk, his frenzied lust filled eyes drinking in the way you unraveled and crumbled before him.
something he was positive rin didnât even come fucking close to.
âaww.â he cooed, digits speeding up as you squealed and tried to close your legs, him prying them open again. âbet you missed the way i filled you full huh? stretched you out so good?â
you rapidly nodded, eyebrows contorted in ecstasy as your thighs shook.
âanything else you missed baby?â
arousal trickled down your folds at this point, making an absolute mess out of his fingers.
âyour handsâ heaveâ on my neck when youâd fuck meââ
a shiver ran down his spine at your words, his cock so fucking hard and aching as it begged him to let it spring free and bury itself in your hole.
âmy godâŚâ he whispered. âi bet your slutty little self wants me to fuck you right now right? stuff you up and make you cum on my dick like i used to?â
with each word your hole was clenching and screaming for his cock, your hands quickly shooting out to pull and unbuckle at his belt, him laughing as he continued to finger your pussy while loosening up the collar of his tie.
âyouâre so needy.â
you pouted, embarrassed as you pulled your hands away and brattily tugged at his wrist to take his fingers out.
âi take it backââ
âno!â he quickly yanked his belt off and flung it, his fingers unzipping his pants and taking out his solid dick. âhell no please i need to be inside youââ
he lined his cock up and without warning pushed, your hands flying to grip his shoulders for support and crying out at the mere size of him, his dick icy in between your gummy walls that somehow added a whole new wave of pleasure for you.
âhard toru.â you whined. âplease i canâtâ iââ
âi know baby i know.â he gripped your hips and snapped his hips up, your moans fueling him as he plunged in your hole and took no time in fucking you in just the way he knew you liked it, proud of the fact that your pussy still took every single inch of him like heâd trained youâ almost like she recognized whose dick was actually for you and not some other fucking morons.
âyouâre not screwing anybody else anymore, you hear me sweets?â he tapped your cheek to get you to look at him, you completely dazed and fucked out as you tried to hold eye contact with him amidst his drilling cock. âshouldâve only been me⌠living or dead i donât care.â
you nodded dumbly, you leaning and kissing him sloppily and desperately that you muffled his next words, refusing to detach from his mouth.
âdid youâ mmphâ let him cum inside?â
you didnât answer, not because you were afraid to, but because his dick was silencing you as you hiccuped and spasmed with every slam of his hips, satoru a horny goner and pinning everything all on you even when it was literally his fault he erased your memories in the first place, fuming over the thought of you tainted by another man that he wanted to perform a full fucking cleanse.
he rammed inside of you faster against the desk as you separated from his lips and clamped a hand over your mouth, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
âdonât tell me you let him cum inside you little slutââ
âi didnât!â you heaved. âi didnât i didnâtââ
âgood baby!â he cheered, a complete contrast to his menacing tone from seconds before. âso you do love me.â
âi do! i love you i love you i love yoââ
his unbeating heart soared.
âyou love me?â
âuhâ hic!â uh huhââ
âeven when iâm dead?â
you nodded vigorously, feeling your orgasm starting to bubble up in your tummy as you choked and squirmed.
âperfect my sweet little thingâŚâ he cooed once more, him literally lightheaded over the way you clenched around his cock. âmake a mess all over me baby iâve been dreaming of your cute cunt for three fucking yearsââ
you wrapped your arms around him by the neck again and moaned, burying your face in his neck as he placed two palms on your bent knees and spread your plushy thighs further apart, jack hammering you and so mean about it as you shook violently against him and came, heaves and sobs of pleasure racking through your body as he threw his head back and groaned.
âyou want me to cum inside you?â he asked. âfill you up just like i used to?â
âyes! please pleaseââ
âoh fucking well.â
he pulled out of you and your eyes bulged open, his dick shiny and covered in your juices as he grabbed your upper arm and yanked you down on your knees.
âyouâre gonna suck me off and swallow what i give you for letting rinâs filthy hands on you.â
satoru tapped his dick against your cheek to get you to open up, you listening and opening your mouth as he shoved his cock inside and placed a hand on the back of your head, fucking your mouth as you choked and gagged on his length and loving every second of it.
âgoooddd baby.â he whispered, your slobbering so nasty as he watched drool dribble down your chin. âso goodâŚâ
you gulped him down and lathered your tongue around while he used you, his balls swollen and twitching and him needing to dump his cum in your mouth for you to swallow.
âremember when we used to do this every night?â he smiled wickedly. âwhen iâd make you swallow me up?â
you hummed around him and tried to nod, eager for his release and wanting to show him that you in fact did rememberâ wanting it just as bad as you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked him harder.
âhâ oh my godââ he fisted your hair and shivered, letting you take over and milk him for all his worth. âiâm gonnaâ jesus baby slowâ slow down slow downâ hah!â
satoruâs release shot to the back of your throat and you choked, blinking back tears as you gradually slowed your pace and continued to deliciously suck him through his orgasm and gulp down his cum, him with a death grip on the edge of his desk as he heaved and swallowed, hips jittery and twitching away from youâ tip now overly sensitive.
you licked up the last of his cum and stood back up, shimming your skirt back down and satoru shakily stuffing his softened dick back in his pants and zipping it, eyes softening once you reached up and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, his over your waist and squeezing you gently.
âso youâre telling me.â you began. âthat you havenât had sex in three years and you fucked me like that?â
he snickered and smoothed a hand over your back. âitâs my instinct sweets! and also because iâm sure rin did a horrendous freaking jobââ
you laughed and rolled your eyes, kissing his cheek before looking at him fully.
âiâm serious you know.â
he raised a brow. âabout what?â
âabout marrying you. even more so now.â
and just when he was about to pick you up and spin you around and jump up and down, he stilledâ face sickishly paling more than it already was.
because satoru was keeping something else from you⌠a condition between the living and the dead and one he overlooked entirely because he was selfishly desperate for you and just wanted you with him again, like the way he had you when he was alive.
âwhat toru?â
âhuh?â his eyes snapped to yours, and he quickly shook his head. âoh nothing nothing!â
his mind was frantically pushing it to the back, ignoring it and wanting to go through with the one thing heâd practically been dreaming of his entire living and dead lifeâ marriage with you.
this was fine. this was okay.
right?
âwhite or black.â
you tilted your head. âwhat?â
âyouâll see⌠but choose!â he grinned. âwhite or black?â
a slow giddy smile grew on your face.
âblack.â
satoru waved his hand and you stilled, the clothes on your skin changing and morphing into something completely anew, your eyes landing on his black and white button up suit now and head quickly dropping down to yourselfâ gasping once it registered in your flabbergasted brain.
you were wearing a black wedding gown, beautiful and classy as you picked up and felt the soft silk material between your fingertips, your tule sheer veil intricate as you looked behind you thenâ it long and stretching for what seemed like miles across the floor with gorgeous embroidery at the base of it.
it was heavenly.
your gaze snapped back to his, and he smiled fondly, taking your hand and intertwining your fingers.
âthree times.â he murmured, and you picked up on what he was referring to, tightening your grip on his hand and nodding.
âbeetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice.â
and the room spun around you, so astronomically fast that you almost doubled over in stifling nausea as the wind whipped through your hair and veil, expecting to land in the attic and finally outside that damn model when in reality, you were in a church cathedral as soon as your surroundings had stopped spinning⌠and one that looked exactly like the one in winter river.
âare weâŚâ you looked around. âare we still in the model?â
he shook his head. ânope! i was focusing my mind here when you were saying my name⌠weâre in winter river baby.â
you smiled, the atmosphere around you soft and serene as the dimly lit candles around you quietly flickered, a random lilac colored hue across the cathedral and one you assumed was placed by satoru himself as he took your hands in his, almost in a haste too, but choosing to brush the observation aside.
this was wrong⌠and satoru knew it.
but he pushed it to the back of his head again.
âwe are gathered here todayââ
âshit!â
you jumped and whipped your head to the side, breathing out and shoulders relaxing once you saw it was just your churchâs pastor that youâd known since birthâ a strange far off look in his eye that you deemed to be something that satoru did, for there was no way he was up at the crack of fucking dawn right now to do a wedding.
âsorry!â you laughed. âis he⌠is he okay?â
âoh yeah heâs fine! heâs actually still sleeping.â he let go of one of your hands and patted the pastors head. âiâm manipulating his head for a little bit. just until youâre my wife.â
his wife.
you nodded, cheeks so warm as you tried to refrain from jumping over how excited you were at the thought of finally fulfilling the vows you had placed on each other when you were youngâ them now nurturing into something real.
âdearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the love of satoru gojo and y/n y/m in holy matrimony.â
he shouldnât do this to you.
âtoday, they declare their intention to build a life together, sharing their joys and their challenges, and supporting one another in pursuit of their dreams.â
he canâtâ he canât build a life with you⌠can he?
he pushed his worries back again and gripped your hands tighter.
âdo you, satoru gojo, take y/n y/m to be your lawfully wedded wife? do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, through sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?â
this is wrong.
but he swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.
âi do.â
âand do you, y/n y/m, take satoru gojo to be your lawfully wedded husband? do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, through sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?â
for as long as you both shall live.
satoru canât live.
âi dââ
âstop.â
you froze.
âwhat?â you asked worriedly. âwhatâs wrong?â
âiâm no better than the man i was when i first died.â
the look in his eyes was⌠odd, and it only further confused you.
âi donâtââ
âi canât let you marry me baby.â
your heart dropped.
âwhat?â
âi told you that if you married me it would break my contract and i would be a free man and thatâs trueâŚâ he began. âbut thereâs something else that i didnât tell you... iâ i kept it from you.â
oh fuck.
âwhat are you talking about toru.â your voice was low and heedful, almost like a warning to him, and he wanted to slam his head against the wall for being so fucking reckless again.
âif youââ he breathed in and shook his head, letting go of your hands and letting his fall tight at his sides, balling up. âif you marry me, youâre freeing meâŚâ
he gnawed at his lip.
âbut iâm killing you.â
your blood ran cold and drained from your face, words entirely at a loss and useless as your brain tried to process what the fuck he just told you.
kill you?
âmarrying me is like exchanging your soul with the dead.â satoru slowly shook his head. âyouâll die sweets⌠i canâtâ i canât do that to you.â
satoru was desperate to for you, so much so that he was willing to hide such a detrimental part of the marriage clause until the time came, choosing to play freaking stupid and tune it out in the hopes that in the end, he would be brave enough to go through with it just to keep you and not ever have to say goodbye again.
but it was wrong. so incredibly immoral and wrong and he felt like a monster for even trying to do it, for letting it go as far as it did and have you standing there in front of him in your pretty gown and veilâ just like how heâd imagined it when his blood was pumping and his heart was beating, and just like how heâd imagined it even now, shriveled up dead veins and all.
this is what fate had chosen for the two of you.
and though it took forever for satoru to accept it⌠you and him were simply not meant to be.
for you were meant to live, and satoru was meant to die.
âyou disgraceful bafoon! you insolent crook!â
the big doors of the cathedral kicked open and juno walked through, adam and barbara maitland running behind her and trying to pull her back, the both of them spouting reasonings and explanations.
âthis is her choice juno!ââ
âshe wants to let her do it!ââ
âthe kidâs just in love!ââ
âbutton it or iâm sending you back to the house!â juno grumbled at them, turning back around and pointing menacingly at satoru once she reached you both, her brittle old lady perfume wafting in your nostrils.
âjuno!â satoru greeted with faux cheerfulness, eyes wide and alarmed. âgood to see you hah! you look livelier than the last time i saw yââ
âwhat the hell do you think youâre doing boy?â she spat, eyes switching to you next. âand you! young ladyâ this man is a spirit!â
âiâi knowââ
âjuno they know each other.â barbara spoke up gently. âthey grew up together when he was alive.â
âyes they were in a relationship this isnât him trying to trick her into anythingââ
âno but it is.â satoru exhaustedly whined, cutting adam off as he ran his hands through his snowy hair. âshe didnât know about the clause⌠i just told her now.â
silence.
âyou didnât tell her about the clause?!ââ
âare you out of your mind you cockroach?!ââ
âyouâre doing what you did before!ââ
âi know!â satoru exclaimed over the yells of scolding and belittlement. âi know i know thatâs why i told her just now⌠iâm not letting her do it iâ i couldnât.â
he turned to you.
âbaby i want you. i need you and thatâs why i didnât say anything like a fucking dingbat because iâm tired of living forever without you... it sucks.â
you felt tears prickle at your eyes.
âbut this isnât fair to you at all. you deserve to live man⌠i canâtâ i wonât drag you down with me.â
âtoruââ
âthe living and the dead were never meant to coexist.â juno interjected, her gaze looking at satoru sincerely for once that it was a strange sight for him.
she placed a hand on her chest. âiâm sorry that your love was separated by death, truly. i sympathize with you. i canât think of anything more cruel.â
you both solemnly nodded.
âbut the living and the dead were never meant to coexist.â she repeated. âso even though you two move on from this and go back to being what you are, satoru will stay like this and you will not. you will grow.â
juno addressed you directly and you listened with a heavy heartâ the use of satoruâs actual given name now from her instead of âbeetlejuiceâ adding a layer of somber seriousness.
âand letâs just say this clause didnât exist and you get to marry her and she stays alive⌠satoru will still stay and you will grow. do you both understand what iâm trying to say?â
you quickly wiped the corner of your eyes, satoru peeking over at you sadly.
âi wonât tell you what i think the right choice is young lady.â she continued. âthe dead arenât even supposed to associate with the living like this⌠but weigh the consequences of either path and see which one you want to walk in.â
she stepped a bit closer, holding eye contact with you.
âbut let me make one thing clearâ the power of the living is greater than the dead. if you choose to marry him, you will break his contract forever and free him of his violations. but if you do, you will die and be one of us.â
either path is difficult.
to sacrifice his freedom, or to sacrifice your life?
but you knew that a life without satoru was nothing and bleakâŚ. you had lived it for three years.
were you willing to return to that? just to keep your heart beating? and say goodbye to satoru for good?
you didnât want to live in a world that didnât have him in it. you didnât want to live in a world where you remembered satoru for longer than youâd known him, and the thought only made you absolutely sick to your stomach as you envisioned the rest of your life without the person who knew you best.
it was almost easy⌠you didnât have to weigh the consequences at all.
your path was satoru.
âweâre getting married.â
âwhat?!â satoru frantically shook his head. âno sweets no weâre not.â
âyes we are.â you pushed. âthis isnât for you to decide itâs my choice and i choose youââ
âand iâm not letting you.â he countered. âyouâre choosing wrong so unbelievably wrongââ
âbut iâm not though!â you argued. âliterally explain to me right now how me stuck in a world that doesnât have you in it is better thanââ
ây/n you need to live.â he cut you off. âi died, not you itâs not supposed to be you alright? i canât let you do this.â
tears slipped from your eyes and you wiped them right away.
âdo you notâ sniffâ do you not want me do you want me to go away whatââ
ânoâŚâ he stepped forward and cupped your cheeks. âthatâs the last thing i want and you know thatâŚâ
âthen why wonât you marry me?â you hiccuped. âwhy wonât you let me stay with you?â
âbabyâ life is so unbelievably precious.â he moved strands of your hair away from your face. âdo you have any idea what i would give to have it again? to feel my body actually working for a change instead of it just being nothing?â
you continued to cry, your hands clutching his wrists.
âi donât want you to take that away from yourself because of me⌠i want you breathing. i want your little heart pumping and your cheeks warm, i want you to move on.â
âiâ hic!â i donât want to move on from youââ
âyou have to sweets.â he quickly wiped his eyes before cupping your cheeks again. âweâre not meant to be baby and i hate so much that we arenât⌠and iâm sorry.â
âtoru stop itââ
âplease live for me okay? for the both of us. and donât forget me either please donât forget meââ
âwhy are youââ you harshly wiped your eyes. âwhy are you talking like that what are you doingââ
âi donât think i should be around you anymore baby.â
âhuh?!â your eyes narrowed. âare you serious?â
âsatoruââ
juno raised a hand, stopping barbara from interjecting.
âit wonât be good for either of us if i stick around...â he sniffled. âi need to stay away from you because if i donât, i might try to trick you again into giving up your soul and i canât have that.â
âmy soul?â you spat. âtake it i donât want it without you i told you alreadyââ
âplease try to understand.â he placed a soft kiss to your forehead. âplease.â
ânoââ
âiâll see you soon okay?â satoru let go of your face. âgraduate please. have kids and get married and stuff⌠travel.â
you were supposed to do all of that with him.
âsatoru no listen to me!ââ
âi love you.â
âstop!ââ
satoruâs grief was monumental, but his love for you was greater, choosing to let you go for the sake of your life.
he looked to juno and she sighed through her nose, somehow knowing exactly what he was silently asking for, stepping forward and lifting a hand.
âsatoru please i wanna stay with you!ââ
juno sharply moved her hand to the side and you were pulled to a blinding white abyss, dream like and fuzzy as you felt all muscles in your body relax, your mind completely blank and free of the heartbreak and loss and sorrow for a little, floating through a cloud of soft serenity as it brought you in and tried to clear the pain in your heart.
you werenât aware of where you were or what juno had done, but your thoughts were distant and muffled as you let it engulf you entirely in its welcoming arms, you sleepy and drowsy until the blinding white abyss slowly shrunk down to a pure black, quiet void, the nerves in your body twitching little by little until you were finally consciously aware of your limbs and mind, but you too tired still to open your eyes.
you cruelly dreamed of satoru still. of him alive.
and you werenât sure how long you had been in this weird pit of tranquility, or how long you were asleep for until you were jerked awake and ripped from it entirely.
âheyâ y/n?â
you shot awake, sitting up and whipping your head around.
you were back in your dorm.
âare you okay? why are you sleeping on the floor?â
you looked up, your roommate standing there with a weirded out expression.
âand what are you wearing?â
your gaze shifted downward, and the minute you saw your black wedding dress and veil folded neatly next to you, memories of what had happened hours prior came achingly flooding in as you scrambled to stand up on your feet, scaring your roommate and leaving her to grumble in her head about how she wished the system didnât put her to room with the campus ghost girl.
âsorry! i have to go thank you though for waking me uââ
your voice trailed off down the hall, you running through and ignoring the weirded out looks from other students as you sprinted out of the building and down the street, engulfing the skirt of your gown up in your arms so you wouldnât accidentally trip over it and eat shit on the ground, the goal of getting back to the maitlandâs house the only thing on your mind as you ran.
your lungs burned by the time you got to the bottom of the hill, and you thanked anyone that was willing to listen for allowing winter river to exist as the smallest town you had ever known, sparing you from running a full fledged marathon just to get to the house as you heaved and tried to catch your breath, a little sweaty and hot as you began the hike up the hill.
you hoped he was there.. in the attic.
you hoped to god that he was.
reaching the top, you continued to trudge across the dirt driveway and up the porch steps, your foot lifting and just about to make contact with the old wooden platform until an invisible force grabbed your ankle and pulled you back, literally dragging you away from the house and down the hill over the grass as you screamed and thrashed for it to let you go.
satoru.
and you tried again, hiking up the hill with your bundled up wedding skirt in your arms, reaching the top faster than last time and choosing to run up the porch steps instead to see if you could outrun his ghostly abilities.
except you couldnât, because the invisible force caught you by the ankle again just as your fingers grazed the doorknob, yanking you away and down the hill until it left you screaming and huffing in frustration at the bottom.
you continued to do that for the rest of the fucking day, and everyday for that matter, for an entire week straight.
walking up the hill, reaching the top, getting reeled back, running up the hill and getting sent back down again, sprinting for it only to get dragged away once more as the repeated cycle you had set for yourself happened over and over, until by your last attempt you couldnât even walk up the hill anymore, satoru having put a huge invisible wall around the house that was impossible to get through.
you were angry. angry and bitter that he was doing this.
was it so bad to just want to spend the rest of your undying life with him? is that not what he wanted this entire time? why was he so adamant on damning you to live a life of suffering andâ and loneliness? a life without him?
you didnât know what to do. your psychic abilities were only for sensing the dead and being able to see themâ nothing to do with calling forth spirits or summoning them at any given place and time, so there was no way for you to call satoru no matter how much you wanted to or tried.
and you cried. you cried and you sobbed just like how you did when he first died, except somehow worse knowing that there was a chance to be together with him forever and him not wanting it⌠not wanting you.
but you waited anyways, hoping that he would come around and change his mind, that he would bring down that stupid invisible wall and let you inside the house and back to him, counting down the days and hours and minutes until it became clearer to you that satoru wasnât going to change his mind.
and by the third week, you had almost entirely given up.
you felt nothing. absolutely nothing as you slugged through your classes or your day to day errands, not giving a shit about anything that you had to do in this world for you had always loved the other world moreâ the world of spirits and the netherworld and the great beyond, the world that had satoru in it, as you appreciated and admired that one more ever since you were a kid with your parents⌠more than the one you were currently inâ as this one was filled with ignorance and criticism.
you felt helpless⌠and maybe satoru was right.
if he was willing to give up an opportunity to keep you forever, then maybe thatâs just the way it goes⌠maybe you should just accept it, and you choosing to think of the latter instead of begging and kneeling at nothing for satoru to come back and get you and marry youâ was helping the bitterness in your heart grow and get you by, it at least stopping you from crying in the middle of your lectures or the grocery store and weirding people out anyways.
maybe you should accept the fact that you and him were not meant to be.
after an entire month, you had given up.
and satoruâs grave was the closest you knew youâd get to him, permanently divided by dirt and soil and grass⌠six feet under and totally out of your reach, his tombstone engraved and pretty and one you couldnât believe you had forgotten about as it sat here alone for years right under your noseâ you visiting it now for the millionth time as you placed your book bag down and sat criss crossed on the grass, mindlessly tugging and breaking off pieces of it as you sat there.
you sighed deeply and hugged your knees up to your chest, the day surprisingly a sunny one as chirping birds flittered past you through the wind, tiny little white butterflies occasionally stopping by to sit on your arm or satoruâs tombstone as you sat there in thought⌠not really sure what to think, but comforted by the fact that the engravings on his stone reminded you that he was once very much alive and real.
there was an odd wavering in your heart, and you had a feeling that this was going to be the last time you were visiting his grave, for you figured it was time to finally do what he wanted you to doâ move on and forget him.
âdonât move on.â
you stiffened.
that voice⌠was your mind hallucinating now? jesus chriâ
âdonât move on from me please⌠andâ and donât forget me. i take it all back.â
you heard footsteps draw nearer across the grass and you turned your head, eyes widening and unbelieving as you saw satoru standing there with a pleading anxious expression, him still dressed in his black and white suit that he had on for the wedding.
was it actually him?
âhow are youâŚâ you trailed off, your mind having difficulty processing how he was there. âhow are you outside the house? i thought the contractââ
âjuno gave me a hall passâŚâ he explained softly. âit expires at the end of the day.â
you hummed, itching to jump up and wrap your arms around him and cling to him, but stopping yourself from doing so as you still didnât know why he was here, and you were quite frankly still bitter and hurt from him sending you away.
you slightly turned your body. âwhy are you here?â
âbecause i canât stay away from you.â
your heart skipped a beat as he crouched down to your level, your eyes greedily running across every feature of his face and committing it to memory, as you now had him directly in front of you again instead of having to rely on recollections of him to try and mend your aching heart.
and satoru was doing the same.
âi started to sense you distancing from me and⌠and i had this feeling that you were starting to listen and move on and forget me and it made me fucking ill. which is crazy because iâm dead⌠but i was literally ill sweets.â
you let a tiny soft smile play at your lips.
âi canât take it.â he spoke again, shaking his head. âi canât take the thought of you forgetting me. not now, not ever, and i donât know why i was stupid enough to try and convince myself that i could watch you do something like that even if its the right thing.â
âyou sent me away.â
âi did babyâŚâ he reached over and gently caressed your cheek. âand i regret that so fucking much. iâm sorry.â
âtoru i need you to understand that you canât make choices like that for me.â
âi know.â he mumbled and dropped his hand, eyes casting down. âiâm stupid.â
âbut i also need you to understand, that i have no interest in living in a world that doesnât have you in it⌠itâs not worth it now that youâre gone.â
you tilted your head to try and catch his gaze, continuing once his blue eyes flickered back to yours.
âi would die for you, and i would die without you. i look for you in everything that i do and you expecting me to just forget you is cruel.â
âno i donât want you to forget me anymââ
âwhatâs life to you?â you asked him suddenly. âwhat does it feel to you? and mean?â
he stared at you with pinched brows, his face endearing but sad all at the same time.
âwarm.â he murmured. âbeautiful and⌠pure. itâs peaceful and it means you.â
your heart fluttered and you smiled, and satoru fell in love with you all over againâ something you conquered when he was alive, and something you conquered again in death.
âthatâs what life is toru.â you cupped his cheek. âto me itâs notâ this.â
you gestured around you. âitâs not my body or my heart, itâs not the sun and itâs not breathing. itâs you. i feel life through you and i always have⌠because life doesnât literally mean where i am now and neither does it mean the netherworld baby⌠it means you and me.â
satoru didnât even realize he was crying until you wiped his cheeks, your words serving an entirely new perspective to him about the living and the dead and he felt peace.
because yes satoru was dead⌠but he was still living. living because he had you as the embodiment of it, and living because his soul still permitted him to see you again and be with you, to look at you with his own undead eyes and feel warmth like he did before.
but not literal warmth from your body or pumping blood or a beating heart.
but warmth from your soul. from who you are.
thatâs what life was to him⌠and what life was to you.
satoru wrapped his arms around your shoulders and brought you to his chest, one hand on the back of your head as he cradled you and cried, finally now no longer mourning his past life like heâd been doing for the past three years, and no longer wishing for it back either or thinking that physically living in this world was the better option for you just because it meant you were breathing.
where he was, was just fine. and wherever you chose to go would be fine too.
but you chose to go with him, something that had been set since the moment you met under the magnolia tree back in middle schoolâ living or dead, paris or italy, your choice would always and forever be him.
satoru proposed to you right then and there at his gravesite, flying to one knee as soon as you both stood back up and him manifesting the biggest diamond rock you had ever seen in your life, laughing and crying together as he slipped it over your ring finger, for your marriage meant the binding of the living and the dead, and the binding of you and himâ a new beginning.
but this time your wedding wasnât at the cathedral, but under the pretty magnolia tree where you had met, now accompanied by the maitlands as barbara cried, and juno as she herself officiated the wedding, you thinkingâ hoping that she grew a soft spot for satoru, and that behind her stern resting face, she was glad satoru was finally a free man and granted a second chance.
giving your soul up was nothing to you, and it didnât hurt at all either⌠you feeling lighter in exchange actually⌠happy, with satoru standing in front of you and with a massive fucking grin on his face, shiny and bright as he practically jumped in his spot in excitement over you finally being his wife and that he got to keep youâ and right this time⌠no lies or tricks or hidden secrets, but genuine authentic sacrifice instead, for it was the purest form of love.
because this is what fate had decided for the two of you.
it had decided that satoru gojo was meant to die⌠but it had also decided to bring you back to him as wellâ to the house of the maitlands, to the attic he was banished to, and back together again in each others cold arms where you belonged, defying the laws of the living and the dead and proving that life doesnât end even after your hearts stopped beating.
fate had decided that you were both meant to be. that was always a fact.
and fate had decided that you and satoru gojo were meant to live, with unbeating hearts and icy cold skin, but souls still warm for each other nonetheless.
because through sickness and in health⌠death could not do you both apart.
you and satoru.
together for eternity.
a lovely and incredibly beautiful fanart of this fic can be found here by @courtneedsleep !! <33
taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
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One of the things that pisses me off most about this genocide and overall occupation is how many people say it's so complicated and there's so much nuance and there isn't one easy solution. This is one of the simplest things I have ever seen. Zionists invaded palestine in 1947-48. They have occupied it for 76 years while taking more and more land. They kidnap and torture and massacre Palestinians day in day out for those 76 years. They control every aspect of Palestinian life, including their water and medical care. And now they are committing another genocide against them. Where is the complication? What is hard to understand? "Well, Jewish people need a place where they won't be discriminated against" I absolutely agree. So make every country in the world safe for Jewish people. Fight against anti Semitism across the world. Don't commit a genocide and set up an ethnostate.
Thanks for reading!! I'm happy you like my stories that much! <3
Of course Ghostface wants you!
Gf!Ethan X GN!Reader
âźď¸CW/TWâźď¸: scar; manipulative E; yandere!Ethan
If there's others tell me.
Not satisfied with this one, like really not. I fell like this is pure shit. Sorry.
"I'm scared, E. I'm actually terrified."
Ethan tightens his hold around you and kiss your forehead. The both of you lying down on your bed after a movie and an argument with the group.
"Ghostface wants us, he probably wants me, too! I don't wanna die, not like this. And the group... They want to separate you from me. You're my only support. Don't leave."
"I won't leave you." He whispers in your ear. "I'd never leave you. Nobody'll ever separate you from me. We'll be together forever. I'll protect you from everything."
According to Mindy, Ethan was the main suspect. When the first attack occurred, he wasn't here. Everyone got hurt, and Anika...
A wave of sadness overcome you and you feel your eyes water again.
"Love..." Ethan whispers, concern in his voice.
His thumbs caress your cheek while a weak smile makes his way to your face. The first attack was so unexpected, nobody was ready.
You even got hurt, too. Ghostface plunged his knife into your thigh. The hit was directed towards Sam but, trying to push her away, you fell and got hurt instead of her. Badly. You'll never regret it though.
Ethan's hand goes down your shoulders, to your hips to finally settle on your thigh. Where your stitches remains. He does not put his palms directly on it since the scar is really fresh and not healed yet. But his hand was still close to it. He was feeling guilty ever since he saw you with Chad near the ambulance. He was blaming himself.
"It's not your fault, E." You say.
-Yes, it is. I should have been here.
-But you weren't. It's useless to think of what you could have done. I'm alive. That's what matters."
You feel water running down your head. A single drop. A tear. Ethan is crying. You take Ethan's hand which is on your thigh and move it to your hip. Your good leg sneak its way in between his. While the hurt one goes above them to frame him. But not too far in case you worsen your stitches by stretching it. Both of your arms go under his. Your chest is glued to his.
"It's my fault.
-It's Ghostface's fault. He's the one who attacked me. Not you."
Ethan stays silent. His hand caress your back slowly and you do the same for him. Both of you comforting each other in the almost religious silence of the room. Some cars could faintly be heard outside but you were not paying attention to them.
In this hug, you were protecting each other. You were telling him how much you loved him, how much you were grateful. While Ethan was telling you that everything would be fine. He was so worried... You were happy he had econ. You don't know what you would have done if you saw him get hurt. He's the only one who understands you. The last thing you want is to see him in danger.
"You're risking your live by staying with me, you know ?" You talk with a shaky voice. You were getting emotional again just by thinking of what could happen.
"I'm sure Ghostface won't hurt you. How could he kill someone as pretty as you?"
"That's not funny, E. I'm really scared.
"I know but I swear to you, from now on, I'll always be by your side."
You nod, burying your face in his chest. Your arms tighten around him. You feel him tense for a second. Worried, you look up at him to just see him smiling, all softened, at you. He was so pretty. How could the others ever think of him as a criminal ? He was the one massaging your back when you were tired. He was the one cuddling you when you were sad. He was the one litteraly apologizing to chairs when he bumped into them. He was the one crying watching romantics movies ! How could he kill someone?
"Did I hurt you?" You ask.
-No, love. Why?" He whispers back.
You took time to respond, chilling in the pretty silence of the room where all you could hear were your two breath. It was hot but a nice hotness. A calming one. It made you sleepy, you who had sleep issue.
"Your body contracted when I touched you.
-It's nothing..."
Still worried, you move in the bed. Your back now facing him. He's whining, missing your body close already. You grab your phone and quicky return under the blanket. This time though, your head goes underneath. With the flashlight of your phone, you move up his shirt and look at where you touched moment prior. Ethan sighs.
"I told you it's nothing."
But you ignore him and go back to the surface. Meeting his accustomed yet loving gaze.
"Did your hurt yourself? You have a bruise on your hip."
He laughs nervously, as if embarrassed. His big hands takes a good hold of your hips before moving you up until you're face to face. He then hides his face in your neck. He loved doing that, manhandling you. You never understood why. He sighs once in the comfort of your body.
"I bumped into the corner of the table yesterday."
You had doubts.
"You're not hiding something from me, right ?"
But Ethan never doubted himself.
"What ? You think I'm Ghostface, too?" He said in a ironical tone, knowing damn well he won already.
You were not laughing. You would never dare doubt your boyfriend like that. The only reason you asked that was because you were scared he got into a fight or simply hurt himself bad. It happens, after all. Never would the thought he was a murderer even cross your mind. So you push him away from you a little to see his face. Not even a shadow of a smile on your face.
"Don't say that. Even for a joke. You know it makes me angry. I don't like them saying that. You're not Ghostface. I think I'd knew it well if you were a damn serial killer." You said, gritting your teeth, your hands clenching around his shirt.
-Well, I don't like them saying that either. Plus, they imply that you'd be stupid enough to be in a relationship with someone you barely know. But you're not stupid. And we know each other. You're the cleverest person in the damn world.
The subject changed and you didn't even notice.
-I am stupid sometimes, though. There is lot of things that I don't notice. Like when that guy was following me home. If it weren't for you I'd be dead.
-And that's why I'm here.
It was his duty, after all. To protect you.
-But Ghostface is not just a creepy guy in an alley. He's much more dangerous Ethan. And he wants me dead. He wants me.
-Of course he wants you my love, you're so pretty. Everyone want you.
You move away from his embrace and stare at him angrily. You had already told him not to joke like that and he was still doing it. Your eyes were swollen and your cheeks were dry. Contradictory with the long minutes you spent wetting them.
-Seriously Ethan, don't joke on that subject. It's making me uncomfortable. Anika is dead because of that guy. I don't want to laugh.
You cringed internally mentioning your friend. Fuck, she wasn't even related to the group that much. She was new, like Ethan. Why was she targeted ?
-I'm joking on it because I know nothing will happen to you. You're safe with me." He was smiling. A reassuring smile. One you could pour all your trust in.
You could never stay mad at Ethan anyway. Less in a situation like this. You needed support. And your friends didn't want him around. You only had him to dry your tears.
"I don't want you to get hurt." You said, entering back your safe place: his arms.
"I already told you. I won't. I'm staying here until you are safe.
-And the group? Chad, Mindy, Sam and Tara ? What about them?
-I'm sure they'll be fine. Even if they threw you out of their house...
-They didn't throw me out of the house, Ethan. I know you don't like them but they're my friends. They're scared too, you have to understand that.
-Okay, I understand. But if I wasn't here, you would have been all alone. They shouldn't have kicked you out in a situation like this."
You found nothing to answer this time. Because it was true. If he wasn't here, you'd be alone. They didn't kick you out, you left with Ethan because you were angry with their accusatory remarks towards him. But still, no one tried to call you. To know how you were doing. To even check if you were alive. And realizing that, you start crying again. You were so sensitive since Anika's death. You were truly in edge. You were happy Ethan was here.
"I'm alone E. I'm so fucking alone..." You realized.
-No, of course not. You're not alone. I'm here. I'd die for you. I'll protect you. Nothing will ever harm you as long as I'm here. You'll always be seen with me by your side. I'll marry you one day. You know that?"
You weren't listening anymore. You were remembering every memory you had with your friends. Searching a way to come back to them, to regain their trust. You needed them, they were your dear friends. Maybe you were dramatic but you had every right to be. And Ethan was right. They had left you alone to die by Ghostface. They had left you knowing you were a target. But you loved them, you couldn't resent them.
"We'll live a life where you won't need anyone but me. And I won't need anyone but you. A house secluded where no one can come. After all of this is done, we'll be together."
Ethan was smiling. But you couldn't see it.
TW: Smut
Summary:Â Trevor makes sure you wonât ignore him again.
Afficher davantage
       Something was wrong. The knowledge sat in your stomach, where you swallowed it down. It had been there for weeks, since he first approached you. He had leaned against the locker beside yours, with the light illuminating his hair and shining against the pins on his jacket. âHello, Doll.â He had said, with his lips pulled back in a smile. You hadnât known how to respond, but it didnât matter.           Eddie left- and it didnât stop there. For weeks after you found letters in your lockers, written on soft parchment paper and red ink. You found wild flowers by your doorstep, pulled from your neighbors lawns and wrapped tightly together. You could feel his eyes on your back during class, and see his gaze follow when you moved. You could feel his presence behind you in the school halls, and even when you walked home!            Eddie didnât speak to you after your first encounter, aside from his declarations and promises scrawled messily in the letters. You didnât understand it. What were his intentions? What had possessed him to do this all of a sudden? You knew Eddie wasnât a satan worshipper, or a cult leader, or evil like most people insisted. But what you did know, is this was not normal.            Â
* * *Â
The sky had darkened into a deep blue, and the trees outside your window kept knocking on the wall. Your bedroom light painted everything pale yellow. You couldnât shake the feeling of dread. It had crept up on you the moment your parents left the driveway, planted itself in your gut like something foreign and unwelcome. (Somethingâs wrong.) Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â You slowly stood up and let out a breath. You ran your hands through your hair and shot a glance at your bedroom door. You were alone. You had begged your parents to stay, but their plans were made months ago. They left in a hurry, assuring you everything would be fine. This did nothing to ease the panic in your chest. You werenât sure where it had come from, it was simply there with your pumping heart and trembling hands. It was there in the ways your eyes watered. In the quietness of your voice. A deep apprehension had settled around you like a coat, crept up your spine like rot growing on basement walls. You had spent hours trying to reason with yourself. Thereâs no one here. My parents locked the door when they left. Eddieâs behavior has just made me paranoid! Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â But when that didnât calm you down you found yourself standing in front of the door, with your palm on the handle. âIâll make sure the door is locked,â you whispered. You thought it would put your mind at ease- see the turned lock, see the closed window. See that you were alone, and you were safe, and nothing was wrong. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â You hated how dark the rest of your house was. The only light was what drifted in through the windows, dull and blue. Every room was filled with that thick, heavy blackness, the kind that covers everything in front of it. The shadows shifted and mended themselves together into imaginary monsters, and minute by minute you were beginning to regret this. Your eyes scanned every doorway, every window, every object on the shelves. Nothing was out of place. There werenât even markings in the dust. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â When you reached the living room, you realized where your fear had come from. You couldnât see anyone, not in the darkness. But you didnât have to. You knew who it was the moment he spoke.
âHello,â He was here. âDoll.â
You couldnât move. You watched the boy seep from the shadows of the room, watched him come into the light and closer still, but never did you move. Your entire body felt numb. It was like a dream. âEd ⌠Eddie . . ?â You couldnât make yourself speak after that. Your mouth was too dry. Your head was racing but the words wouldnât come.Â
âI . . I didnât mean to . . to come here. I just-â His words trailed off. Eddie let out a quiet chuckle. âI just wanted to see you.â His eyes held a glassy sweetness. Every word he said was slow, quiet, like he was talking to a scared animal. He was getting closer with every step. âI know iâm scaring you, and Iâm . . Iâm sorry.â He took in a deep, anxious breath. You couldnât move. âI just had to see you.â            He stopped when he was right in front of you. He carefully lifted a hand and cupped your cheek. His fingers were cold. When he finally touched you, something must have clicked. You flinched away. It was a harsh, sharp movement that made Eddie tilt his head. He looked surprised. Confused, almost. âHey . . â You looked over Eddieâs shoulder. Dark blue light shone through the windows by the front door, and you suddenly realized your parents had never locked it. â. . (Y/N) . . â               Â
âWh-Why are you doing this?!â You sputtered out. Eddie slowly lifted his head and met your eyes. He was still looking at you with that softness, that devotion.               âI fell in love with you a year ago.â He let out a breath and his smile grew. âYou donât remember, do you?â You stayed silent for a moment. The entire house was silent. The crickets wouldnât chirp. The dogs wouldnât bark. The trees outside kept scratching the walls, like an animal who wanted in. You slowly shook your head. Eddie took in another breath. âThatâs okay.â He let out a quiet laugh. âI donât even remember who it was. One of those assholes on the basketball team. He had thrown my figurines in the trash, and you yelled at him. You were like two feet shorter than him, but your voice was so loud it didnât even matter! It was such a small thing, but I . . I couldnât stop thinking about you.â His face fell. âI never had the courage to talk to you. Iâve mentioned it in my letters, but . . I know you stopped reading them.â                   Â
      You turned to run for the door but Eddie was faster. He grabbed your hand and pulled you backwards into his chest, his other arm snaking around your shoulders. Your chest was tight and your eyes stung. You swore you were going to cry, but instead of tears you only let out quiet whimpers.           âHey, hey, hey, just calm down,â He murmured. He was still looking at you the same. His gaze was glistening with softness, adoration. Worry.  He buried his face into your neck, and pressed a warm kiss against your skin.                You stood there in disbelief. This wasnât a new obsession- it had been there for over a year! It had been growing like the weeds in your neighbors yard! It had soaked in like red ink! It had been festering there like fucking decay! This was it. This was the fear pouring in your gut, this was the knowledge left to rot in your stomach!
This was it!
âGet away from me!âÂ
You smashed your head against his nose. Eddie screamed. His hands left your body to cover his face and you fell to the ground, listening as curses and pained gasps left his mouth. âGod damnit (Y/N)!â                          Blood was beginning to stream between his fingers, staining his shirt and smearing over his chin. His nose had begun to swell, and every time he touched it there was a nauseating crunching sound. His hands were trembling- With what? Was it pain? Anger? Anxiety? His curls obscured most of his features, but you could see his eyes were narrowed and watering. âFuck, just wait a second (Y/N)!â Your head was throbbing, aching, and a thick dizziness had washed over you. You were desperately trying to stand up again, but panic made your actions sloppy. Every movement was stumbling, clumsy, and every breath you inhaled pulled at your sternum.             âI- Iâm not mad!â                              The dizziness was awful. Your thoughts were clouded, your head was foggy, and all you could think about was how you were going to get out! There were only a few more feet between you and the front door, but the distance seemed impossibly far. You were running as fast as your numb feet could carry you, with Eddie right behind you. His blood was still dripping from his face and onto the floor. He was frantically reaching for your waist, your shoulders your hair! Â
âI promise Iâm not mad!â
You shrunk away from his lovelorn grasp and sprinted out the door as fast as you could. The cold night air hit you, and the final relief came in waves. You fell into the grass, your chest heaving and your legs aching. Your eyes were locked on the front door, which still sat wide open. You were waiting for anything. Sounds, movements. You kept expecting him to come out after you, to pull you out of the street and into his arms. But nothing happened. There was no way to know how long you lay there. Till the dogs started to bark again. Till the sky turned orange. Till your parents pulled back into the driveway. None of it mattered though. Eddie was gone. he slipped out the back door like nothing more than a shadow, a stray cat.
You werenât safe.Â
The flowers would still be gifted, the letters would still appear. Eddie was still in love with you. This wasnât over.
Note: Iâm a bit rusty, itâs been a bit since iâve written a fic so I hope this turned out okay đ¤
fr tho why is everything smutđđ i wanna read angst that would ruin me, make me sick to my stomach and cry like there's no tomorrow bro i want a fanfic that is so devastating that i won't be able to function for the next few months
I just made these <3 feel free to use them, I would rather have you give credit but I donât mind if you donât want to âĽď¸
hii, you could write more about yandere-obsessive ethan who likes to ruin the relationships (whether romantic and friendship) of the reader, because he likes to have her all to himselfđ
Ethan Landry x GN!Reader
Masterlist if you want to read my other things. Sequel (?) Of the draft But you said it was free !
TW/CW: kinda bad friends, forced kiss/contact so agression, reader is really vulgar and curse a lot, breaking in, voyeursim.
Sarah and Connor are your friends. I invented them for the plot.
This look shitty compared to everything I wrote until now, but like really. I feel like there is too much dialogue. Seriously, if you have any constructive criticism i take it, i dont know what to change, what to imrove. I need feedback to improve. I have the impression it's too repetitive. (21/07/2023) (6168 words)
Ethan Landry kissed you. You couldn't quite proceed the information even hours later. You were reading in the peacefulness of the library and Ethan Landry sat on your thights and kissed you right before your crush's eyes.
They saw everything and were now avoiding you.
It was hours ago, now, still, you didn't go to your next class after that. You spent a hour searching for your crush. You called them mutilples times on your phone and yet they never answered. What is going on ? You kept asking yourself. Wanting to calm down, you scurried in the school's bathroom. There shouldn't be a lot of people at this hour of the day. This way, you could think of what to tell your crush.
Is that an agression ? It should be, one, right ? He kissed you withtout your consent so it probably is.
You push the door and sigh from happiness in seeing you were alone. You wet your hands under the faucet and throw the water at your face to freshen up. It felt good to not be burning from the inside anymore. You were thinking so much you were sure your brain would explode.
You lean your hands on the sink tightly, holding you up right. Your eyes were closed, feeling each drop of water sliding down your face. You needed to be calm.
You practice breath exercises to release the pressure. It's gonna be okay, you rationalize. You'll talk it out. Yeah, they don't want to see you anymore but you'll convince them. You've been talking for months ! They'll believe you.
You look at yourself in the bathroom's mirror and sigh deeply. Ethan Landry, if you catch him, he's a dead man. You close your eyes once again before deciding to wet your face one more time. It felt really good. You wetted your neck too to cool your body.
For a short moment, you forget about the big argument you'll inevitably have with your crush. It was a short moment because while you were in your own world, someone entered the bathroom and two big arms caged you against a warm body.
You're startled, jumping away from the person but they tighten their hold. Looking in the mirror, you're met with the face of Ethan, laying his forehead against your neck as if stealing the humidity of your freshly wet body.
You push him away. He finally lets you go with a scowl on his face. The audactiy ! He's the one fucking assaulting you and then he pretends to be disappointed !
"What is wrong with you ! you yell.
First the kiss and now that ? He fidgets with his hands, as if nervous and you don't understand why.
-You looked sad, I just wanted to... you cut him off.
-Sad ? I'm gonna kill you !"
He frowns his brows and shake his head. Suddenly looking very serious.
-I don't want to argue with you." he says. With these last words, Ethan leave the bathroom to avoid any argument. Enraged, you follow him. He was fast so you pratically ran after him. When you arrive at his side you push him violently to the side. He stops in his tracks but doesn't move.
"Look at me !" but he doesn't listen and keep his eyes on the ground.
To force him, you pin him against the wall. Normally, you wouldn't be able to pin him like you did as Ethan is quite tall and heavy. But he was submissive to your touch. He was allowing you to do everyting you wanted. That was gross, he really was weird.
"You're gonna tell me what is your problem and why do you want to destroy my life so damn hard ?
-I don't want to destroy your life. I want to make it better.
-Better ? Do you think it looks fucking better ? Because I'm sure it doesn't !"
Ethan looks over your shoulder and smile. You can't understand anything before he closes his arms around your body and engulfes you in his body. You were going to yell at him when his lips shut you up.
He's doing it again !
His hands roam your back slowly, grazing too closely your ass to your liking. You try to make him let you go by pushing at his chest but he doesn't budge. You thought he was lanky and yet, he's built like a damn fridge !
Suddenly, Ethan smiles against your lips and lift you up in the air. His hand lays now completly flat on your ass while the other is supporting your legs from below. You place your hand around his neck to push him and you hear a light whimper coming out of his throat. It surprise you for a second and it allows him to stick out his tongue to lick your lower lip. When he parts away from you, you feel like you want to throw up.
"Wow, okay, you're really going at it..." you hear someone say in your back and Ethan puts you on the ground gently, you wipe his saliva off your mouth in disgust. You know it's Connor talking, your friend, and you hate that he saw you like that.
Ethan sends you a little smile, cheeks red. Acting as if you were just two lovers kissing lovingly. Acting shy as if everything was normal. You don't even know what to say. Curse him ? It excite him. Yell at him ? Same. Tell others ? Nobody believe you.
Looking beside Connor, you see Sarah. Another of your good friend. Fuck, you think. They'll think I'm horrible for kissing Ethan in a situation like this where I'm supposed to fight to gain back my crush's trust.
"I swear it's not... you start but are quickly shut off when Ethan interrups you with a big stupid smile.
-Hi, I'm Ethan. You're Sarah and Connor, right ? I've heard a lot about you. I'm their boyfriend.
Both of your friends look at each other in surprise. Even confusion. For a second, you're stunned. Astonished by the audactiy of this man. In what world is he your boyfriend ? He's not even your friend ! How can he lie straight at the face of someone ? When you see the way your friends look at you, you rush to deny his words.
-No he's absolutely not. Stop lying to others, damn it ! He's not my boyfriend, he's nothing !
-Oh." he simply says, as if he's the victim here.
Ethan smiles to your friends in an embarrassed way. Uneasy at the idea of being humiliated before them. Then, he looks at the ground, his hand scratch his neck. He pursues his lips and nod. You know he's putting an act. He's a liar.
"Oh please ! Stop pretending you're the victim here !" you say, rage drooling from your words.
Ethan gives you and your friends a last sad face for you all to pity him and then he leaves slowly. You'll deal with him later. When you stare at your friends, one is disappointed and the other is angry.
"Why are you so mean ?
-Mean ? you ask sartically. I'm not mean. He's a liar, that's what I'm trying to tell you ! He pretends to be a victim when I'm the one who got assaulted. I never wanted to kiss that guy and I wever will.
Connor do not seem to believe you and your heart break. He shakes his head slowly, as if telling 'that's enough' but you're not lying.
-He forced me to kiss him. Okay ? You know I'm not a cheater." you add, in a much more desperate tone.
Sarah looks at the path Ethan took earlier to leave with a sad face. No, you think. Not her, too. She doesn't believe you. You feel as if a bubble is stuck in your throat and with one word, it could explode and you with it.
"It's just... she trails her eyes to yours and gulp. If you wanted to be with someone else, you could have at least told them, you know ? says Sarah, referencing to your crush. It's really mean. You talked to them for months and suddenly, you're all over that boy.
She looks well too affected for you to think that's the only problem.
-Connor, man, you believe me, right ? you almost beg, no, in fact, you were begging. They were you friends for god sake. They should help you !
-I don't recognize you anymore. You're ruining everything you have.
-What? you say. What do you mean you don't recognize me ? I never changed ?
Your eyes dart from him to Sarah fervently. Are they hiding something ? Because it sure look like they do. Usually, they'd believe you. Why can't they trust your words ?
-Ethan did nothing wrong, he didn't know you were talking to someone else. You shouldn't hurt his feelings. The damage is done, yelling at him won't do anything. You already cheated on him.
Both of them were accusing you at the same time, you couldn't defend yourself, you were overwhelmed. You were felling betrayed. You immediatly thought; did Ethan lied to them already ? Making them believe he was the nice guy ?
-What ? You believe him? You never saw me talk to him, I never talked to you about him ! Don't you find it strange ? He's no one, I have no idea why he's doing that, okay ? I'm innocent. I never cheated on anyone. Why won't you trust me ?
And just like that, the argument flipped.
-Don't act innocent, okay ? snap Connor. You act like you don't remember ! But we didn't forget. All the creepy videos and photos, all the insults you texted us !
You frown, body freezing. Now what is it about ? You open and close your mouth like a fish, trying to find an answer to something you have no idea what it means.
-What ? I have no idea what you're...
-You don't remember, huh ? Yeah, of course. You critized my man, you critized the whole group. Why do you think they avoid you ? You put on display every one of our personal problem. You didn't need to tell everyone his dad was alcoholic !
Who's alcoholic ? What the hell is he talking about ?
To say you were clueless would be an euphemism. You try to remember saying all of this but nothing come to your mind. You even try to remember if you ever got so drunk alone that you'd send that, but you're sure you haven't. Hell, drunk or not, there is no you'd insult your friends !
-No, no I-I didn't. I'd never...
What they were accusing you of was much bigger now. Cheating was a thing you already could hardly support being accused of, but insulting your friends ? Your best friends who's been here for years ?
-Shut it. We get it now. We're stupid for staying with you in the first place.
Sarah had her eyes stuck to the ground when she finally speaks.
-You sent videos of us. you frown, not quite understanding but your attention fully on her. It gave the creep to everyone. It was videos, in the night. And it looked like you were hiding in my closet, it was my exact room. And I was sleeping and you could see me... and then she burst in tears. How did you get in ? Why did you film me ? That's not funny...
-You did that shit to everyone. Fuck, you don't even have the adress of some of us.
-But I've never...
But then you remember you got kicked from the group. Without any reason. Your friends were still in it, often talking about the converstion they had and laughing at you, saying how you're always reading the messages withtout even interacting with them. But you weren't in the group anymore. So you can't have been the one reading, much less sending videos.
-Sarah and I stayed because we thought you got hacked or something. And we really thougth you were since you never mentionned any of these damn videos.
Who the fuck broke in your friends room ? Who the fuck hacked your phone ? This situation is going too far, it's much more chaotic than you thought. They're accusing you of a literal crime ! Breaking in your friends house ! And filming them ! What didn't they tell you about it ? By telling you sooner, you'd have rassured them! Now it's too late and everything is thrown on you.
-But you just keep doing weird shits.
Connor shakes his is head. He's about to leave, you know it. He steps back progressively. You'll be alone. You don't want them to leave with the idea of you being a creep.
-You're scaring me." says Sarah.
She looks like she wants to tell you a last thing but Connor drags her away without looking at you. And just like that, you lost your two last friends.
You start to lose hope. Knowing nobody believe you. But then, you remember your crush does not know your version. You need to find them, and quick before Landry find them first.
You knew each other very well, you talked for months after all. They'll trust you, well, at least they'll listen to you. You know it. They were your last hope. By having their trust, your friends would listen to you. And you'll finally explain yourself, making them understand Landry was the problem.
You run in the hallways, looking in every corner. You thought about calling their name out loud but as they're avoiding you, they'll probably just go in the opposite direction of your voice.
You can't find them, but then you remember that by the time, they left their last class of the day. You run up to the said room and search around to find them. Finally, you see their head in the crowd. You run up to them, calling their name. They continue on walking, ignoring you.
"Please let me explain !
Relenctuly, your crush stops in the hallway. You scurry to them, awaiting the moment when they'll face you. Slowly, they turn their front to you. Everything in you crumble at the sight of you crush satring at you with so much sadness in the eyes.
-I can explain, you start. I... and you realize you have no idea what you're supposed to say. I don't know him? I just... I swear I have no idea why he did that ! I barely know his face ! I'd never do something like that to you, you know I really like you.
-Oh, yes, of course. So he just came by surprise and kissed you just for the fun of it, right ?
-Yes, actually. That's exactly what he did.
They'll never believe you. This is too stupid to believe. You look like a cheater caught red handed. You have no idea what to say, just now realizing the stupidity of the situation.
-Listen, they sigh, I'm gonna be honest with you. your heart crack at their words. You know it's too late. I wanted to believe you were a good person, you know ? I talked to Ethan.
-I don't know what he told you, but I swear, do not believe him. they smile sadly.
-I don't know who to believe anymore. you try to speak up but they interrupt you by continuing. Ethan told me he didn't know you were talking to me. He said both of you were already a thing.
And your world crumble. Landry, the guy you barely remember the face of, told your crush you were cheating on them. Landry, the guy who blush when the teacher compliment him, lied about you. Landry, the fucking nerd you forgot was existing until two hours ago was sabotaging your life.
-I didn't understand, because he told me you were together for a really long time. they laugh bitterly and you watch as their eyes water. He even told me you two were just friends and you're the one who asked him to be your boyfriend. And he looked so shy about it, like he was really confesssing a part of his life. they pass their hand on their eyes to try and dry them, in vain. And yet, here you are, telling me he's lying. What the hell is going on ?
The problem is that you're as lost as them, you have no clue what's going on.
-I'd never cheat on you. I really like you and-and I don't know what's the problem with him. suddenly, an idea appear in your head. You can check my phone ! You'll see I never talked to him. I don't even have his number to begin with. You can check everything, message, calls and even my social medias!
Finally, you'd prove he was a big liar to them.
Frantically, you open your bag and start searching inside. Your crush laugh sadly.
-It's no need. He showed me pictures of you two.
Now, you didn't understand. You never talked to him outside of school, hell, you never talked to him inside ! What photos could he have ? Did he photoshopped you ? That's some fucked up behaviour.
-He had plenty of it. Pictures where you were in your room and you were sleeping on him and all. It hurt. It hurt really bad.
That was another level of scary. That man hated you so much he spent hours photoshopping picture of you ? Still, it was deeply disturbing. Where did he find pictures of you to begin with ? And in your room that is ? Because your crush already been in your room so they know what it look like, but Ethan ? How does Ethan know your room ?
-Ethan has never even seen my building. That wasn't me. you realize you sound just like a cheater and cringe. Because you were denying everything when all the proofs proved you wrong. But you were innocent ! This whole situation was infuriating.
They scoff. You feel like you're losing them, and you are. Your last hope is your phone, and yet, you can't find it. You empty your bag on the floor, completly panicked. Every pocket is empty of your device. You search in your clothes but can't find it either. You start to freak out.
-I... I don't know where it is but... you're out of breath you don't even know why but you are. you try to remember where did your phone go and only remember putting it in your pant's pocket. I probably dropped it somewhere, fuck, I'm...
-No need to lie to me, I guess I was stupid.
It's like seeing the last grains of sand falling from the hourglass.
-No, no ! I swear I have my phone it's just... Maybe it fell or something. I, I'll find it. Follow me, we'll find it and...
-Please. they say. It's too late, okay ? Stop lying to me. I don't want us to end like that.
-I don't want us to end."
They don't even answer. Simply smiling at you, eyes full of tears and trembling lips. You look at them, pleading and full of hope but they turn their back to you and walk in the opposite direction. You're frozen. Staring at their back in the distance, you fell on the ground. Surrounded by the content of your bag which you threw without any care.
You want to cry, yet, you can't. Maybe because you're still in a public area. Maybe because you're embarrassed. You don't know. What are you supposed to do now ? You don't have friends anymore. You pass your hand on your face to try and ease the tension. You at least need to find your phone.
Walking in the hallway, you stumble across one of your old friend. One that Connor said had ended your relationship because of 'your' weird texts. Maybe you can ask her if she saw your phone somewhere. And even if she didn't, which is probably the case, you can still try to befriend her again ? You tap on her shoulder, smiling lightly.
"Hey, I just wanted to... you barely started that she cuts you off harshly.
-Don't try and talk to me after what you did ! Can I know why the fuck would you tell my boyfriend that I'm cheating on him? What the hell? What did I do to you?
-What? Listen, I lost my phone and...
-I don't know what's gotten into you lately but I won't be there to figure it out with you. I'm tired." and she left. You're left speechless, in the middle of the hallway, mouth open. Thats was quick.
You sigh and leave for the opposite direction. Great, another accusation coming from out of nowhere. It's the second time today. You only want this day to end. But your phone is still missing. Who knows who has it right now ? You hope no one.
You have to go back to your previous class to see if your phone is in there. You might even understand what she meant by telling you you sent a message to her boyfriend. Seriously though, she believes it ? Why would you do that ? You didn't even know she had a boyfriend.
When you arrive, everyone already left. You walk to the row you were seated at and start looking under every table, then, to the row above and the one below. Still, you can't find your phone. You seriously hope you didn't drop it in the hallway.
When you're done searching, you back off, wanting to search in the hallway again. But when you do, someone is already at the door, looking at you. Of crouse, it's him. You scoff. How long has this idiot been standing there ?
You were already annoyed, having spent the worst day of your life. And he was here again to worsen it.
"Hey... he tries.
-Oh no, no, no ! You get the fuck out of here ! I'm not talking to you. you prepare to leave.
Ethan is quick to stop you. Placing himself before the exit so you wouldn't leave. So you wouldn't leave him. You try to bypass him but he doesn't allow you. You groan out of frustration. What's retaining you from strangling him right now ?
-Even if I found something of yours ?
Was he bluffing ? You couldn't tell. His expressions always were unreadable. Ethan was showing you what he wanted and that only. He was too good of an actor for you to identify him, for you to decipher him. What even was he ? A damn serial killer ? How is he always one step ahead from you ! That was so frustrating !
Even though you were hesitating, he had your whole attention on him. He smiles maliciously and grab your phone from his pocket. You freeze. He had your phone. Him. Him ! He stole it !
-You dropped it earlier, you cut him off right away.
-I didn't. And you know it. he stays silent, you stare straight into his eyes, trying to understand his way of thinking. But he's too fucked up for you to undestand anything. You're the one who sent a message to her boyfriend, are you ?
You don't even need to precise whom you're talking about. He already know it. He ruined every one of your relationships. You're alone, now. Isn't he happy ? Isn't it what he wanted ?
-I didn't send anything to anyone. I just found it on the ground.
-You're a liar. You're a fucking liar.
You were going crazy. How many times is he going to lie straight to you face again ? How many times is he going to lie to everyone ? How many fucking times is he going to ruin your life ?
You push him on the chest with all your strenght, he steps back a little but your little fight does not affect him much. You push him again, again and again until he grabs your wrists to calm you down.
-Let me go ! you yell.
-Please..." he starts but you pull multiples times your arms harshly from him trying to gain your liberty back.
He looks around him to see if someone is there to see this scene. You struggle to get out of his hold and eventually, you do. You put a large distance between the both of you, staring at him from far away, you caress your bruised wrists.
-Why are you doing this ? What did I do to you ! your eyes were full of rage but also fear. You feared him because so far, he revealed he always was a step ahead of you.
-But, love, I just...
-Don't fucking call me love ! you spit at him, disgust lacing your words. The hell is wrong with you ?
-Please, don't yell at me. he simply says.
You rush to him and snatch harshly the phone from his hands, without looking at him, you hurry to leave the room. Fortunatly, he never tried to grab you.
When you got home this day, your crush blocked you everywhere, same for your friends. And when you looked at your numbers, Ethan Landry's was there. A single text was sent from him, a single and pitiful "I'm sorry".
The next day to school was your last as you quitted everything. You dropped your studies and stopped going into class. The pressure was too much. Somehow, one of your 'friend' told everyone you stalked them, they told everyone you hid in their closet to film them. Each time you were walking, breathing, you were stared at.
You were the creep everyone pointed at, laughed at.
So you just quit. You could have been more combatant if you had support, if you had friends behind you to watch your back. But you don't. You'll probably go back to your parent's town, make a sabbatical year or two and eventually continue your class later.
You sigh and put your clothes. You thought a nice shower would calm your nerve, sadly it didn't. Hunger was not your problem anymore as you didn't eat of the day, not feeling the need to. You jump on your bed, facing the ceiling.
Your head was empty of thoughts. You were just staring.
Someone rings at your door and you don't bother go up to see. You're not even bothered when five minutes later, a tall man enters you room, smiling lightly. It's him, again. Of course it's him. It always is. Again because you know this isn't the first time he entered your flat. You don't have proofs. You just know it.
And there is high odds he's the one breaking in your friend's house. So you're not surprised to see him here when he finally won. He came to see the damage he's done. To laugh a bit and enjoy the view.
His heavy body seems heavier at each one of his step. What was he going to do, this time ? You don't bother looking at him when he stops at the end of your bed. For a few minutes, none of you say a thing. Him, eyes glued to you and you to the ceiling. It's when he sighs (to catch your attention) that you talk.
"I'm alone, now. Happy ?
You were just jaded. Not angry anymore. Because it was well too late, your life was already wrecked. You could never find your friends back, you could never make yourself a new reputation. Since he doesn't answer you, you reluctantly sit up. His bright smile was all you needed to see to know the answer. You scoff and dive back in your bed.
-Nice, good to know my misfortune make your happiness.
Silence.
-You ruined everything. I don't have friends nor lover anymore. That's what you wanted, right ? You're gonna tell me why you did all that, now ?
Ethan giggles.
-I thought you would have figured it out by now.
-Well, I didn't. you answer coldly.
Ethan smiles and walks to your nightstand. He pushes the lamp on it to sit on the furniture. Your eyes were still on the ceiling, you didn't want to see him.
-You're so, so pretty. his voice was smooth and as light as a whisper.
-And that's why you ruined my whole life ? you deadpan, facing him. when you turned your head, his eyes were already on yours.
Ethan chuckles, looking to the ground. He shrugs, running his fingers in the curls falling on his forehead. You think he's blushing, but it's quite hard to know when his head is lowered like this.
He's a coward, now that you think about it. He anger you and when you scream at him, he begs for you to no yell at him. He stares at you and when you stare back, he's suddenly all shy. You seriously have no idea what this man wants.
-Well, that can be considered as part of it. and he was bashful saying it, too. In his sick mind, he probably thinks he's flirting with you.
-I hope I become the ugliest person in the world in my next life, then. you chuckle dryly.
-It doesn't matter. You'll still be the beautifulest... you cut him off.
-Yeah, yeah, shut up. Why are you even here ? you wanted to be agressive, to show him you were still strong. When in reality, you were all bark and no bite. A few days ago, you'd have fought him. Now, you miss the strength to do so.
He hit so suddenly and hard when you least expected it, you couldn't retort. It just... killed you. Without you even understanding who, how and why. In one single day, you lost everything because of him. He had it all planned.
-I just wanted to see you.
-Who the fuck are you exactly ?
He stays silent. You grab a pillow and throw it at his face, he catchs it right before it hit him. You snap your fingers to his face to make him react. To no avail.
-Landry, who the fuck you truly are ?
And finally, he reacts.
-My name's Ethan. he said sternly. Not Landry, don't call me like that. You call me Ethan.
And with one sentance, he made you understand you were playing with fire. With one sentance, he regains his power over you. His tone was demanding. It wasn't an offer, it was an order, you call him Ethan and that's it, no discussion.
This time, it could be your fault. You were too confident, you thought you knew him when in reality you had still no idea what he was capable of. He put you back in your place and you hated it. You hated him. You gulp, trying to find your words back after such a reversal of power. If you can even call it that, as you realised he's the one giving you power and he can take it back at any moment. You never really were in control.
-Well, Ethan, you insisted on his name too much for it to be natural but he didn't say anything, what do you want from me ?
He smiles and shrug. In his head, you asked him a simple question. One as simple as do you wanna go out this week-end or what did you do yesterday. But for you, it was much deeper. You wanted, needed to know why he did all of that. You were desperate, you were lost.
-Nothing, why? You wanted to give me something ? and he was candid about it, too.
You're sure he's just humiliating you at this point. He's savoring the imbalance of power between you. There was no other reason as to why he acted so casual.
-It is my fault ? you ask with a shaky voice which you dispised yourself for letting slide.
You were fucking tired of his playing. You wanted to know and he was telling nothing ! He already ruined everything ! You couldn't cry for help even with proof ! It was too late. Why doesn't he want to tell you his motive ?
-No, why would you... was it true sadness or a fake one ? you can't even tell.
-Did I do something to you ?
-No, never, I know you'd never...
I know, he says. But what does he know ? How does he know ? And why does he know you so well when you barely recognize his face ? Why do you know nothing ?
-Then why ? Why are you doing this ? he frowns, his shy demeanor gone as he stares into your eyes with a confident posture.
-I don't like the way you talk to me. I don't want you to hate me. I don't want you to blame me. Both of us did nothing wrong.
-Both of us ? you laugh hysterically, sensing your last working brain cells going crazy, tears brim at your eye line, from sadness ? laugh? frustration? I did nothing wrong ! I wouldn't say the same for you !
-Don't accuse me. he says ternly. It's your fault, I sent you plenty of signs and you never came talk to me.
-What fucking signs ? you scream. You're imagining things ! You imagined everything ! Why would I ever want to talk to you ? You are crazy ! Do you fucking understand ?
-I am not ! I am not crazy and you're gonna be in love with me ! We are supposed to be together !
With his words, you calm down. Realization settling in your brain. Everything suddenly become clear. Yeah, this makes sense, after all. All the lying saying you were together, it was for him.
-Is that what is this about ? a single tear slide down your face. Is it really, now ? You're just fucking desperate for a relationship? you take a shaky breath. We'll never be together, Landry. Never, you hear me ? You're fucked up.
His eyes are empty as he looks down at you. You're reminded how dangerous this man can be. How little you know of him. And you're scared to be alone with him.
-I don't think you can really say that, sweetheart. I am capable of things you're yet to discover. I modified your life for it to let me in, I'll modify your fate as many times as I need to for you to love me.
-My friends had nothing to do with it...
-But they do, in fact, had everything to do with it, my love. he tilts his head to the right and look at you like you're a damn child getting grounded. I don't have friends, why would you have some ? Most of them didn't really like you anyway. They never tried to understand why you suddenly stopped talking in the group chat. They didn't even notice when I was the one talking instead of you. Aren't they supposed to know you?
You knew it, deep down. But hearing him talk about how easy it was for him to ruin your life without you noticing anything was terrifying. He was terrifying. He spent his sweet time reading each of your convos with your friends, he found their adresses, he found their fucking adresses and filmed them. All of this with a disconcerting ease.
-You're one son of a bitch, you know that ? There is a place in Hell just for people like you.
-As long as you're with me, I don't mind. and he smiled, he smiled !
-You ruined everything. your body is shaking.
And understanding once again that he won, you feel your eyes water. Honestly, you didn't know you could still cry. You already did so many time your body was probaly all dry by now. But no.
You curl on yourself on the bed, letting your tears slide down your face. You were tired. But you couldn't sleep, nor do you wanted to. Ethan is facing your back, you don't see the smile on his lips. And you don't see his hand laying itself on your shoulder.
-And I'm happy I did.
Nor do you feel it. Too preoccupied in your despair to feel anything other than your sorrow. Your head hurt, everything does in your body anyway. Ethan slide his hand up and down your shoulder in a soothing way that only soothe him. And he sighs, feeling at ease.
-So, so happy."
@ephemeral-oasis
You try to open the drama club door but it refuses to yield. Which is weird. Itâs never locked. You try again and let out a frustrated sigh. You can hear voices from inside, so you know theyâre in there.Â
You knock impatiently. The voices pause. They whisper rapidly before hesitant footsteps reach the door.Â
âWhatâs the password?â Hendersonâs anxious yet stern voice makes it through the door.
âWhat fucking password? Let me in.â You jiggle the door handle as a threat.
âSorry, you canât come in without the password. New ruling.âÂ
âSince when?â âSince today.â
âCome ON dude, I have McDonalds. Just let me in.â You hold the bag to the door frame, hoping to entice the boy with the smell of fries through the cracks.
âNO!â One of the others, Gareth, you think, yells, âYOUâRE GOING TO DISTRACT HIM!âÂ
You frown, lowering the bag and crossing your arms in defense even if they canât see you. âSo?âÂ
âSo!â Garethâs voice is closer now, âTodayâs arc is vital to the campaign and we canât have Eddie distracted!â
âIâm not gonna-â
Gareth interrupts, âYou are! That's all you do!â
You pout. Sure you might be guilty of sitting by his side during their campaigns and feeding your boyfriend fries off to the side, but itâs not your fault he asks you to feed them to him.Â
Dustin and Gareth are having a muttered argument while you think. Something about the sanctity of the narrative. You decide to play dirty.Â
âEddie?â You call in your sweetest tone possible.Â
âYes, sweetheart?â He responds, much closer to the door than you expected. He must already feel guilty, which is perfect for you.Â
âAm I distracting you?â You have to hear it from him. Youâre not sure why he didnât just ask you to stay home.Â
He sighs and responds, âItâs not your fault, baby, I- OW!â You hear the thump of him likely getting elbowed, â Henderson, watch yourself or youâre out next.âÂ
âDoes that mean you donât want your flurry?âÂ
Gareth interrupts again before Eddie can respond. âHe can have it,â You can hear Eddie grumble beyond the door, âIf you can guess the password.âÂ
âCan I have a hint?âÂ
Eddie is helping even when the otherâs seem to be holding him back, âItâs the arc weâre playing right now, baby.â Though the boys are shushing him you take a moment to think. You hum with your finger to your lips, exaggerating even though they still canât see you. You know Eddieâs been talking about it, heâs been very excited to run this story for a while now. You tap your foot and try to recall the notes and doodles on Eddieâs desk.
Dustin laughs, âWow, I didnât think the password would work-âÂ
You snap. With a triumphant smile you announce, âVecnaâs Curse.âÂ
The boys groan, except for Eddie, whoâs unlocking the door and grinning wildly, âWelcome back to hellfire, sweetheart.âÂ