December, Please Be Gentle With Me This Year

In another life... my mom chose herself first.

it was always October / in my throat.

— To My Father / To My Unborn Son, Ocean Vuong

“We just got to accept that some people can only be in our hearts, not in our lives.”

— Kathy B.

Ama Ata Aidoo, from The Plums Taylor Swift, from Anti-Hero

Vincent van Gogh, Sien with a cigar, sitting on the floor beside the fireplace

The very thing that I was craving for, that one thing was the chain that was holding me back. Oh world, how cruel of you, you never gave me a hint... I had to go through all the pain to figure it out myself. Oh.... Oh world, the price I paid...

To be free is to emancipate oneself from the pursuit of a destiny, to give up belonging to either the chosen or the outcast; to be free is to practice being nothing.

The Fall Into Time

Emil Cioran

October took out the comfort in my throat, and November the light in my eyes.

It’s becoming too hard to exist 

Tears, idle tears, I know not what they mean, Tears from the depth of some divine despair Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes, In looking on the happy autumn-fields, And thinking of the days that are no more.

"Alfred tennyson"

I promise you, i was here , i felt things that made death so large it was indistinguishable from air - and i went on destroying inside it like wind in the strom.