Hello! Are You Willing To Help Me Get My Insulin? I'm Down To My Last Pen And Its Pretty Much Close To

More people would believe if you didn't delete your account back then, you know that?

I'm aware. Around the time when the post dropped, I was already in a very dark place in life. A lot was happening and my BPD was making it all even more difficult. Because I wasn't able to stay stable enough to make ANYTHING better. I argued with Red, and began getting medicated.

While writing was my only way of coping besides smoking weed and drinking alcohol, so I didn't stop doing it. Made another account where I dropped a fic and it all continued. Soon after Red and Cas got in touch with me, and in about a week we set things straight. A post that was a "clarification" appeared later but it didn't get traction at all.

So yeah. I'm aware technically I could have handled these things better reacting immediately, but in practice I couldn't.

Now I'm here, and ain't going anywhere.

OMG LOVING IT!!!

🎅🏼🎄 Christmas One Shot 🎄🎅🏼

On The Naughty List

Emmett x Y/N from Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

“Ok, guys, go and get your sleds out of the garage. Dad’s gonna take you sledding with your cousins and Uncle Greg after hockey practice.”

Y/N was checking the progress of the final sheet of Christmas cookies in the oven as she spoke to Henry and Max over her shoulder. As she turned around, she noticed the large smattering of flour on Max’s forehead, and her smile only widened more when she locked eyes with Henry right as he was licking the last of the frosting off the spatula. She couldn’t help but laugh as his cheeks turned red at being caught.

“You better hope there’s still enough of that left in the other bowl, mister,” Y/N said, pretending to be stern.

“There is; I checked!” he replied, still looking guilty.

Smiling again, Y/N walked around the island after setting the oven mitts down, stopping in front of the boys. As she looked down at Henry and lifted a corner of her apron to his face to wipe some stray frosting off the corner of his lip, he spoke again.

“Can we go over to Aunt Stacy’s after sledding?” he asked as he looked up at Y/N. “Connor got the newest Minecraft game for St. Nick’s Day and he said we can play it with him and Nate.”

“You’ll have to ask Uncle Greg when you see him,” Y/N replied, releasing her gentle grasp on Henry’s chin after wiping his lip clean. “Aunt Stacy and I are taking Sadie and Morgan with us to the mall, and you guys will probably get back before we do."

"Ok," Henry replied.

After cleaning up Henry, Y/N moved over to wipe the flour off Max's forehead, and then she began brushing the stray sprinkles on the counter into her hand, shaking them out into the sink. As she did, she heard the garage door opening, signaling Emmett's return from work. Despite it being Saturday, he'd had to run over to the shop and switch out a car battery for a customer.

"Dad's back, so you better hurry," Y/N said to the boys as she turned around from the sink. Then, just as she finished, Sadie could be heard babbling loudly from upstairs, having awoken from her nap.

"Max, how about you go and get the sleds?" Y/N continued. "Henry, honey, can you go up and get Sadie? I've gotta take these cookies out of the oven."

The boys agreed to their respective tasks, and Y/N turned to the oven as the back door opened. Nearly colliding with Max on his way to the garage, Emmett then took off his coat and headed into the kitchen to find Y/N slipping her hands into a couple of oven mitts, the smell of the cookies wafting through the house.

"Hey," she said to him in greeting as she quickly met his eyes before turning to the oven. "That took longer than usual. Everything go ok?"

"Yeah," Emmett replied as he stopped at the island and leaned against the counter. "Their battery was totally fried. Had to wait a while for it to cool off before I could replace it."

"Oh, wow, well, good thing it wasn't anything worse," said Y/N. But as she saw Emmett prepare to sit down at the kitchen table, she spoke once more.

"Don't get too comfortable," she warned him as she turned to place the hot cookie sheet on top of a trivet. "The boys are just getting ready to go and then you're meeting up with Greg and the kids at hockey practice, then sledding."

Groaning, Emmett sat down at the table anyways and leaned back in the chair.

"Can't we just skip all of that? Or send them by themselves?" he said, but not really meaning it, and Y/N giggled.

"I warned you that signing them up for hockey was gonna be a pain in the butt," she said, smiling at him. "Weekend practices are always more inconvenient than weeknights."

"Rubbing it in my face isn't helping," Emmett replied jokingly, and Y/N smiled. Removing the oven mitts, she grabbed a cooled cookie from earlier off a platter and walked over to Emmett, stopping between his spread legs and handing him the cookie.

"I'm sorry," she said to him with a smile as she handed him the cookie. "I know it's not easy to deal with when your wife is always right."

Raising an eyebrow and giving her a look, Emmett then reached out and took the cookie from her hand, but instead of eating it, he set it down on the table and then reached out and grabbed Y/N's hips instead, pulling her closer in front of him and holding her there. She squealed in surprise as she reached out and grabbed his shoulders to steady herself.

"Don't push it, princess," he said as he looked up at her.

Giggling again, Y/N lifted a hand to Emmett's head and smoothed back a lock of his hair.

"You should ask Ted to take some of the weekend calls," she said to him, referring to his employee at the shop. "He keeps saying he wouldn't mind, and it doesn't happen that often."

In response, Emmett nodded his head.

"I know. I'm thinking I'm gonna have to. I didn't want to make him do that, but on the days where we already have a lot going on, it'd be helpful. You still meeting up with Stacy at the mall?"

"Yeah, unless you wanna finish up the Christmas shopping and I can take the boys to hockey," Y/N said with a smile, knowing that would be a hard "no" for Emmett. He hated going to the mall, especially when it was crowded during the holiday season.

"That's a hard pass," Emmett said with a shake of his head, and Y/N smiled. "But the next time I wanna sign the boys up for something, change my mind, will you?"

Humming out a laugh, Y/N picked up the cookie Emmett had set down on the table and placed it in front of his mouth, and he took a bite of it before slipping his hands to the back of her waist and pulling her closer. But as he did so, his hands slipped under her shirt slightly, touching her skin, and when he did, she yelped and jumped back.

"God, your hands are freezing!" she said, pulling the hem of her shirt down further and adjusting the apron strings.

"I didn't bother turning the heat on at the shop," Emmett replied.

"You have got to be cold-blooded, I swear," Y/N said as she moved back to the island to start taking the cookies off the baking sheet. "It could be ten below and you'd still say you were too hot."

Smiling as he watched her, Emmett then noted the apron she was wearing — a red one decorated with white lace-edged accents and a fabric belt made to look like a little Mrs. Claus dress. As he watched her for a moment, he couldn't help thinking how sexy she'd look in that and nothing else.

Standing up from the chair, he walked over to the island and stopped behind her, leaning forward and lightly pressing himself into her back as she continued to handle the cookies.

"I'm getting pretty hot right now," Emmett said, the volume of his voice lower as he grabbed Y/N's waist and tugged at the edges of her apron. "This little number's got me thinking certain things. The only problem is you're wearing something underneath it."

Feeling Emmett behind her and hearing the volume and tone of his voice, Y/N smiled to herself as she slowed her movements. Then, setting the spatula down, she turned to face Emmett when he pressed a kiss to her neck.

"Really? A Mrs. Claus apron is what gets you going?" she said to him with an amused smile as she grabbed his upper arms, his hands still on her waist.

"What can I say? It puts me in the holiday spirit," Emmett replied, and he pressed his crotch against hers as he pushed her back against the island.

Giggling, Y/N replied, although she admittedly was getting hot herself.

"Well, you better tell your 'spirit' to cool off, because Max is waiting in the garage and Henry's on his way down with Sadie right now," she said.

Groaning again, Emmett pressed another kiss to Y/N's neck before reluctantly letting her go and backing up, Henry being heard on his way down the stairs with Sadie, who was still babbling happily.

"Don't tuck that away just yet," Emmett said quickly before Henry entered the room, his voice still low and a mischievous look in his eyes as he gestured to her apron.

Smiling and shaking her head with a roll of her eyes, Y/N then turned to move around the island and take Sadie from Henry, preparing to feed her before they left for the mall.

After placing a kiss on Sadie's head, Emmett got ready to leave with the boys, and Y/N gave them each a parting hug as they headed out the door. She and Emmett confirmed that they'd communicate later on about when they'd all get back home, and then they shared a quick kiss before she confirmed with him that they'd decide what to do about dinner once they knew whether or not the boys would be going over to Stacy's.

After strapping Sadie into her carseat and getting behind the wheel, Y/N smiled and shook her head to herself again as she thought of what Emmett had said about the Mrs. Claus apron. But, she had to concede...it actually could be pretty sexy with nothing underneath...

The afternoon had ended up stretching on much longer than either Y/N or Emmett had anticipated. Henry had gotten hurt during practice when his glove had come off when he'd fell and slid across some jagged ice, and he got a pretty gnarly cut on his hand. But he'd still insisted that he wanted to go sledding, and so after being checked out at the first aid station at the ice rink and being bandaged up, Emmett had still taken the boys to meet up with Greg and his boys at the park. By then, it had gotten late enough that they all went to get a bite to eat afterwards, and then he'd followed Greg home to drop Henry and Max off to spend the night with Connor and Nate.

Respectively, Y/N and Stacy had been delayed at the mall with the girls due to it being even busier than they'd anticipated, every store they visited having extremely long lines. They'd also just ended up grabbing a bite while they were out, and with a text from Emmett confirming that the boys were staying at Stacy's for the night, Y/N had proceeded to just immediately begin to put Sadie down for the night upon arriving home.

She heard the garage door opening with Emmett's own arrival home just as she was closing Sadie's bedroom door behind her, and after heading back downstairs, Y/N stepped into the bathroom just as she heard Emmett walk in through the back door.

Entering the house, Emmett removed his coat and boots, and then walked into the kitchen, the smell of cookies still lingering in the air. After quietly calling out for Y/N, she replied to him from the bathroom, saying she'd be right out, and Emmett headed into the living room and exhaustedly dropped himself onto the sofa.

Resting his head back against the cushion, Emmett closed his eyes and relished the peace and quiet as he sat with the room softly illuminated by the lights of the Christmas tree. But after a few moments, he was brought out of it when Y/N quietly called for him from the kitchen.

"Em? Can you come here for a sec? I need your help with something."

Opening his eyes, Emmett stared up at the ceiling and inhaled deeply before lifting his head and standing up. He'd never refuse to do anything for Y/N, but at this point in the evening, he hoped she wasn't going to ask him to start wrapping presents, signing Christmas cards, or anything like that. He was ready to check out for the night.

Upon entering the kitchen, Emmett looked and could see just Y/N's hand gripping the edge of the refrigerator door as she stood behind it, clearly retrieving something from the fridge. As he stopped at the island, Emmett waited for her to tell him whatever it was she needed his help with.

"Can you just help me get all those cookies in the Tupperware?" she asked him from behind the refrigerator door. She outstretched her hand to point to the Tupperware sitting on top of the island, and Emmett replied with a "Sure" before beginning to box up the cookies.

Once she knew he was occupied, Y/N finally stepped out from behind the refrigerator door and closed it, then stepped across the floor in her bare feet to stop across from Emmett at the island. While his head was still down, she spoke again.

"Thanks, babe, I've gotta get those all packaged up to drop off to everyone on Monday." She kept her eyes on Emmett as she spoke, and she waited until he looked up to continue. When he did, she finished. "I'll get you some more parchment paper to line the containers."

As Emmett looked up, it took him a minute to register what was off about what he saw. Y/N was standing across from him at the island in the apron she'd had on earlier, but something was different. After a moment, he realized that her arms were bare beneath it, and when he looked more closely, it almost seemed like she didn't have a shirt on underneath. But he was absolutely not prepared for what he saw after she'd spoken again.

"I'll get you some more parchment paper to line the containers," she said, and as she did, she turned around and lifted her arms up for the cabinet above the stove.

Upon her turning around, Emmett was met with the site of her gorgeous, naked backside beneath the apron, the strings around her neck and waist the only pieces of fabric obstructing his view. As he realized she was completely naked beneath the apron, his heart rate increased and his eyes raked over her, his gaze lowering down her back and landing on the flawless skin and the beautiful, luscious rounds of her gorgeous ass. As she rose on her tiptoes to reach into the cabinet, he caught sight of more of her bare thighs as they came into view from across the island. Once she'd lowered back down with the box of parchment paper in hand, she slowly turned around, and as she did, Emmett could also see the profile of her perfect, plump breasts through the sides of the apron, the front of it barely wide enough to cover her nipples as she turned to fully face him once more. With each second, Emmett registered more and more exactly what was going on, and he could quickly feel his blood rushing south to his cock.

As she stood across the island from Emmett and turned her back to him, Y/N smiled to herself, but maintained a neutral tone as she spoke and took the box out of the cabinet. Upon turning around, which she did with intentional slowness to allow Emmett to take in the sight of her, she continued to behave as if nothing was out of the ordinary, lowering back down to the balls of her feet and setting the parchment paper down on the counter.

"Sorry we're doing this now, but the mall was just so crazy busy that I couldn't get home any earlier," Y/N said, moving to place a few cookies in an empty Tupperware and feeling Emmett's eyes on her, knowing that by now, he'd realized what she was up to. Still, she continued her game. "Luckily, tomorrow, we can just relax."

Emmett still had said nothing, but when she looked up at him and their eyes met, Y/N could see the fire in his gaze.

"Once you finish up that one, can you do one more?" she asked him innocently, and then she looked down again to resume moving some cookies into her own Tupperware. After a moment, she turned around again to give Emmett another view of her ass as she pretended to be reaching for something near the sink.

While her back was still to him, Y/N heard Emmett shift and then begin to slowly walk around his side of the island to hers, all the while remaining silent. After turning back from the sink, she reached for the lid of her Tupperware, still acting completely innocent, when she felt the heat of Emmett's body as he came to a stop directly behind her. Standing there, he still said nothing, but Y/N smiled to herself again as she heard him breathing heavily through his nose, something he always did when he was aroused but trying to maintain his composure.

Unbelievably turned on by the sight of Y/N's naked body beneath that sexy little apron, Emmett's cock was painfully stiff as he made his way over to her. Knowing she was playing this little game and intentionally riling him up, he took his time, moving slowly and remaining silent in order to get Y/N just as worked up as he was. He knew she was expecting a reaction, and he'd give her one, but not without causing a few anticipatory shivers to run through her first. She loved this back and forth between them as much as he did, yet she never learned her lesson, much to both their enjoyment.

Still standing behind her, trying to control his breathing, Emmett continued to hungrily admire Y/N's bare ass for another moment before he finally stepped forward and pressed himself against her, his hardened bulge pressing into her naked ass through his pants. Still, she kept moving as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on, and it wasn't until Emmett reached out from behind her and grabbed her forearms that she finally stilled.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" he asked her lowly, his voice deep with arousal.

"I'm just finishing off these cookies," she replied, her voice sweetly innocent as she answered him over her shoulder. "Is that a problem?"

Releasing her forearms, Emmett then backed up a step and lowered his hands, bringing them to Y/N's backside and smoothing his palms over her soft, taut skin and relishing the feel of her curves. Squeezing each of her cheeks in his hands, he then leaned forward once more, speaking lowly in her ear as he continued to squeeze and caress her bottom.

"The only problem I see is that you just got bumped off Santa's nice list," Emmett growled, raising his hands upwards and around to Y/N's front, sliding his palms up her torso beneath the apron and coming to a stop at her breasts, cupping each of them in his hands and then pinching her nipples as he finished. "Because what you're up to right now is extremely, extremely naughty."

After he spoke, Emmett massaged Y/N's breasts and thrusted his hips forward into her ass several times, allowing her to feel exactly what she was doing to him. Biting her lip and then smiling to herself, Y/N responded by wiggling back against Emmett's cock, feeling the rough texture of his jeans on her bare bottom. As Emmett then pinched her nipples again, she additionally felt the slickness of her arousal building between her thighs.

"I thought you liked a naughty girl?" Y/N said to him, her tone sensually teasing. And when she felt Emmett lower his hands from her breasts to the strings of the apron tied at the small of her back, her heart skipped a beat.

"Oh, I do," Emmett replied, his voice still dangerously low as he spoke and untied the apron from behind her. "But you see, being put on the naughty list means you don't get any presents. Is that what you want, princess?"

The apron now untied at her back, Emmett raised his hands to her neck and lifted the apron off her, dropping it on the floor and leaving Y/N completely naked before him. When he planted his hands on her waist, she lifted her own hands and laid them atop his, speaking over her shoulder as she wiggled her ass against his cock once more.

"How about just one present?" she said to him, and then she lifted Emmett's hands and placed them on her breasts again. "Even though I'm naughty, there's one present that I really...", she ground against him again, "....really...", she wiggled once more, "...want."

At that, Emmett squeezed her breasts roughly before then dropping his hands and grabbing her hips once more, turning her around to face him, her back pressed against the island.

"You're pushing your luck, princess," Emmett said then, his mouth hovering dangerously close to hers as he spoke. "You're just moving your name higher and higher up on that naughty list."

Y/N smiled seductively and then leaned forward the tiniest bit, bringing her lips in contact with Emmett's as she skimmed them over his mouth teasingly but didn't quite kiss him.

"Well, since I'm already on the list, I may as well make the most of it," she said. Then she lowered her hands to Emmett's waistband and slowly began opening his jeans. "But you didn't answer my question: don't I deserve even one present?"

Lifting his shirt up and over his head, Emmett dropped it blindly to the floor before then helping Y/N push his jeans down his waist and stepping out of them. She then tugged his boxers down and he stepped out of those as well, and Y/N's palm immediately wrapped around Emmett's stiff, warm cock. As she began slowly pumping him in her hand, he answered her.

"I'm gonna give you exactly what you deserve, princess, but trust me when I say that by the time we're done, your name will never be able to get off that list."

Running her thumb over Emmett's tip, she leaned forward and placed a sensual kiss on his neck as he hissed out a breath at her touch.

"Fine by me," Y/N said against his neck, "so long as I get this one present." She stroked him again in emphasis as she spoke, and after she did, Emmett turned her around once more and bent her forward over the island, her ass arched up towards him as he moved her.

Just before he slipped his cock between her wet folds, Emmett leaned forward himself and swept Y/N's hair over her shoulder as he spoke in her ear.

"Lucky for you, my hands are warmer this time."

Being on the naughty list definitely had its advantages.

Wasn’t sure who all to tag for this one, so I kept it pretty minimal. Sorry!

@vervainandspritz @meister95 @teawonderfultea-blog1 @an-eclectic-of-mass-destruction @xsweetcatastrophe

@nyxxie-pooh @beastofburdenxo @toobusyshrimping @hairica @allie131313

No feedback at all? :(

TASTE OF SHAME

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Part one Part two

Summary: You can't escape, and the line between his manipulation and your own thoughts begins to disappear.

Warnings: Dark!Thomas Shelby, manipulation, abuse, non-con/dub-con, gaslighting, violence

A/N: COMMENT AND REBLOG PLEASE!

After the events of that one particularly dark evening, Y/N shut off. She didn't come out to see Ada when the young woman would visit, not for a while. Spending most days in her room, sometimes even not reacting when one of the maids would come to remind her of Mr. Shelby's wish to see her at five PM.

Sometimes she didn't show up, and he let her.

”She's a teenager, Ada. What am I supposed to tell you, eh?” He spoke one day, finally answering the questions she had for him ever since Y/N's behaviour changed. His eyes remaining at the contract in his hands, agreement from Churchill himself. A small grin danced on his lips, tugging on one of the corners of his mouth. ”Don't you remember how it is as a young girl, eh? Always a bloody handful,” He snorted, lightly, letting go of the piece of paper as his eyes finally met his sister's. Cold and calculating, playing chess with every word, just the way he always did since their lives changed.

Ever since he unapologetically took the whole of Birmingham, and greedily reached out for the rest of Britain.

Unapologetic, that's the word she'd use to describe him.

Letting out a sigh, Ada shook her head lightly, crossing her arms across her chest as she stared through the big window.

”You didn't hurt her, did you?” Her voice came out almost tired, knowing the person Thomas Shelby became, Ada was... Almost expecting it. Dealing with the effects of his violence and decisions day to day.

Thomas' blue eyes slowly raised to her own, but she didn't look at him, still peacefully looking out the window.

With parted lips, he breathed out a quiet snarl.

”Am I a monster, Ada?” The voice so full of mockery, she should have felt disrespected, but worry for the girl was stronger.

”You want to be, Tommy”

~~

Jabbing at dinner with a fork, Y/N wrestled with her thoughts back and forth. She knew she couldn't escape, her absence would bring an inevitable danger onto her family, and despite the hatred she felt towards them ever since... Her father sold her, she couldn't bring herself to not care.

After all, where would she go? Y/N had nowhere to go. Nowhere to run.

His horrible, mocking chuckle rang in her ears loudly, making her wince as she heard steps behind. His expensive leather shoes clicked against the floor, and Y/N recognized his heavy steps.

The silence in the room was suddenly heavy, suffocating. She didn't dare to move, almost freezing under his gaze.

Her fear was palpable, and Thomas could easily sense it in the air. Her flowery scent came to his nostrils immediately when he stood behind the counter. Making coffee, as a cigarette hung from his lips. His blue eyes glanced towards her frame, a quiet chuckle leaving his mouth at her posture. Admittedly, he didn't know why her fear was so... Joyful to him. So attractive and addicting, like a sweet treat. His presence alone was enough to make her shiver, and he'd always take on every occasion to torment her.

Y/N expected it, almost like she got used to it. Holding her breath when he moved, steps growing closer before the cold air hit the skin on her neck. She waited, for something, anything. Pain, shame or whatever he would give her. That's what he always did.

So when he wordlessly passed by, all Y/N felt was a confusion.

The expected relief didn't come, and the cold temperature of the room suddenly seemed to swallow her whole as she let out a breath.

He ignored her, simply, walking through the doorway and disappearing into the corridor.

Leaving her breathing slowly, as a little smile appeared on her lips.

Maybe that was it.

The rest of the day passed calmly, without any events and Y/N spent some time entertaining little Charlie, doodling away in her notebook and drawing all the animals she could think of to make the little boy happy. Only when he fell asleep, drained from being awake that long, she sighed, letting one of the maids take him to bed as she walked back to her own room.

Glancing up, she noticed the beautiful view from her window. Something so obvious, yet not important enough to ever catch her gaze before. Now she felt a little peaceful, while he wasn't home.

Pulling out her drawing supplies, she set her notebook on the windowsill, taking her time to draw the sight, the beautiful trees bending under heavy wind. Rays of the sun penetrate between branches and hitting the window, accompanying the silence in her room well enough that the environment seemed peaceful. Calm. Safe.

Unknowingly, Y/N began softly humming under her breath, feeling a glimmer of hope for a better future still smoldering somewhere between her ribs.

He came back late, later than usual. Tommy's steps echo throughout the almost empty house, getting the attention of staff but nobody else.

”Good evening, Mr. Shelby,” One of the maids said, quietly, getting a quick nod out of him as he climbed the stairs, stopping midway.

”Where is she?” His voice held the usual complete seriousness, not holding the amount of mockery he seemed to have only for her. The middle-aged maid, shifted her weight from one leg to the other before answering.

”Miss Y/L/N informed Frances she'd go visit her horse in the stables.” Her voice was quiet, unsure.

Nodding again, Thomas moved forward before clearing his throat and stopping, just for a second.

”It's my horse. Everything here is mine.” His sharp tone cut through the air while maintaining the huskiness and not disturbing the silence of the house for too long. ”When she comes back, she is going to come to my office.” He liked it. The intimidation in the air, present wherever he goes.

”Yes, Mr. Shelby.”

That day felt more special than most, much longer as if it held more than twenty four hours in it. After leaving the house and making her way to the stables, Y/N stopped checking her watch, letting the activity engulf her completely once she saw the precious creature she missed so dearly. Normally, Y/N would be too scared to come here without asking for permission first, and she didn't seek any reasons to come to Mr. Shelby. Not really.

Walking through the wooden building, she carefully eyed each of the horses there, eyes widening as she saw the biggest one. A massive, black horse with eyes that had the look to them, which made her back off. The madness in this horse's eyes reminded her of the blue ones she feared so badly.

Yet all the worries seemed to disappear as her gaze met the calm, brown eyes of her horse...

Before she knew it, Y/N walked back through the field, rushing towards Arrow house, sun barely up in the sky still. Time passed between her fingers so fast when she was having fun, but it's been so long she almost forgot how it feels. The beautiful black mane on a completely white Stallion took at least an hour to braid, but Y/N loved the process. She was taking care of him ever since he was a foal.

Taking him out on the free field and getting to ride him again, despite having to do it bareback felt wonderful. Felt like the freedom Y/N so desperately yearned for.

As the canter turned into a full on gallop, a bright smile appeared on her face, as her hair blew on the wind. The scent of nature, wilderness and sharp wind which turned her cheeks bright red made the experience almost magical, so she lost track of time. There was no reason to rush home either, since Mr. Shelby was away.

Letting out a tired sigh, Y/N's smile remained plastered onto her face until she noticed the long, black coat on the rack.

Which was a sign that he was home

Swallowing the lump which suddenly appeared in her throat, Y/N calmed herself down mentally before slowly turning towards the stairs and step by step climbing them, extending the whole process just to make as little noise as possible.

Her feet felt a little numb from horse riding, so when she reached the top of the stairs, one wooden plank bent under her weight, creaking slightly.

When no sound followed, Y/N let out a sigh, walking through the corridor and heading to her room when suddenly Frances opened her bedroom door on the other end of the hall.

”Miss Y/L/N” She spoke up, wearing her modest bathrobe and nightgown, ”Mr. Shelby asked me to tell you to come to his office when you get back.” She instructed quietly, as not to disturb the rest of the staff which was probably sleeping. The night came around, and the sky was almost completely pitch black. An old, wooden clock on the wall struck eleven PM.

Y/N's breath hitched, realizing she didn't manage to get out of coming eye to eye with him. Not today. Seeing the questions in her eyes, Frances, let out a quiet breath as well.

”He came back around three hours ago” The older woman added, replying to the silent question which never got asked. Not out loud.

”Thank you, Frances” She smiled lightly, before disappearing behind her bedroom door again, leaving Y/N standing on the corridor completely on her own.

She stood there, frozen for a hot minute. Contemplating what to do, whether she should go and change her dirty clothes first, or maybe go see him as soon as possible. After all Mr. Shelby's anger was the last thing Y/N wanted upon herself, knowing how cruel he could be if he felt like it.

Weighing her options shivers ran down her spine at the risk, and so her shoulders slumped slightly when she made up her mind. Turning around and slowly making her way further through the corridor, the dark, wooden door growing closer with each small step.

Moving closer, Y/N narrowed her eyes noticing a small beam of light on the floor coming from his office. Small enough to not be noticeable if she didn't pay enough attention. Another step, and Y/N's breath hitched in her throat as barely audible sounds came to her ears. High pitched, muffled almost.

Another couple feet, and she stood right there, by the door with her eyes widening at the realisation of what was happening. The door to Mr. Shelby's office was unusually creaked open, through the crack she could see the interior of the room. Dim light making it all more difficult, as she heard feminine moans and whimpers coming from the inside, accompanied by shuffling of the heavy desk.

Her hand rested on the door knob as she moved closer, covering her mouth with one hand as she noticed the dark haired woman splayed on the mahogany desk, face down. One of Tommy's hands was gripping tightly onto her shoulder, pulling back with each move as the other covered the woman's mouth, keeping her as quiet as possible. Muffled sounds kept coming out of her mouth as he kept thrusting inside her from behind, not caring about whether someone heard. Her breasts were almost spilling from her blouse, and Mr. Shelby didn't even care to get her undressed first, cigarette hanging from his lips as he fucked into her hard and fast, chasing his own high. Y/N's face twisted in disgust as the other woman began moaning crude words, calling out his name like it was the only thing she knew.

Still covering her mouth, Y/N took a step back, letting go of the door knob as she let out a shaky breath.

She shouldn't have come home so late, Y/N thought. Better go before he finds out.

Turning around, she moved swiftly through the corridor, before quietly closing the door behind her back.

She panted like someone was chasing her, and only after several moments she moved away from the entrance, sitting on her bed and taking off the jacket she wore.

Taking deep breaths, Y/N tried to calm herself down.

Half an hour later, Y/N was still laying awake, her lamp turned on as she read a book, not knowing what else to do this late at night. She wouldn't dare go out, and risk stumbling upon him or his mistress.

The last thing she expected was to hear a knock on the door, this late at night. Furrowing her brows, Y/N put the book down on the covers, and before she could answer, the door opened.

Thomas walked into the room, slowly shutting it behind him. An unlit cigarette in his hand, and she took in his appearance. The four undone buttons on his shirt, messy hair and dark, unreadable gaze in his eyes.

Shivers appeared on the back of her neck, and she froze seeing him.

”Not sleeping, eh?” He asked, glancing quickly around her room as he lit his cigarette, before letting his gaze fall back on her. He noticed the way she pulled the covers higher, covering every inch of herself besides her face and shoulders.

”N–Not yet” She stuttered out, feeling even more intimidated after what she saw just an hour earlier.

Thomas nodded his head, looking out the window as he inhaled the smoke, taking his time before letting it out again.

After a minute of silence, Y/N licked her lips nervously as she saw him move forward, lazily stepping closer to the bed before sitting on the edge of it.

”You were out late” He pointed out without looking at her, his posture firm and strong despite his clearly relaxed state. Y/N glanced nervously, looking at his side profile.

”I was in the stables” She explained, hoping that she wouldn't get in trouble for that. Y/N didn't bother explaining on why she went only when he wasn't supposedly around. ”Time passed so quickly I didn't realise–” She continued until he cut her off while blowing out a cloud of smoke, causing her to wrinkle her nose at the intense scent.

”Tomorrow is a special day” He spoke up, raising his eyebrows as he shifted to the side, leaning on his hand by her leg over the covers. His eyes scanned her emotionlessly, taking in the soft lines of her face, her lively blushed cheeks. ”I was wrong at the beginning.” He admitted, tilting his head to the side. ”I thought there would be troubles with you. That you'd try to run away, be a handful, yeah? All that teenage nonsense.” He gestured with the hand in which he held the lit cigarette, drawing a little circle in the air. His voice held a bit of humour, despite his completely numb facial expression.

Y/N looked at him nervously, looking everywhere but in his eyes.

”One of the maids overheard your conversation with Ada.” Her heart sank for a second, which he saw clearly, making him chuckle. ”Told me how much you respect the dear, old Mr. Shelby, yeah?” He chuckled again, reaching out and suddenly grasping her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. The approval in his gaze made her a little more relaxed, just like the warmth of her touch. So much softer than the usual, bruising grip. ”Good girl” Tommy added, the corner of his mouth lightly turning up.

Y/N didn't know what to say, so she just nodded along to make him happy.

He tilted his chin up, eyes narrowing as he watched her expression while his hand moved to the side of her face, slowly pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

”Don't go alone when you're planning to be gone for that long. Next time you're going to tell me, eh?” He offered, almost gently with a hardened expression, earning another nod from her.

Thomas sighed, deeply, letting his hand drop to his side before raising from the bed. He came up, close, too close for comfort as he looked down.

”Tomorrow at eight in the morning Ada and Polly will take you shopping. You'll get new clothes and horse riding gear.” Tommy informed, finishing his cigarette before putting it out it is in a glass of water which stood on her nightstand. Y/N's expression turned into disgust as she saw that, and Thomas made her look at him again. ”Understood?”

”Yes, Mr. Shelby” She said, blinking quickly as she held his heavy gaze. His blue eyes remained motionlessly locked into her own before she corrected herself. ”Thank you, Mr. Shelby”

...and only then, he smiled lightly, nodding in approval before taking a step back.

”You're welcome”

He said, before turning around and heading to the door. When his hand made contact with the doorknob and the door opened slightly, he stopped, glancing down on his hands with a grin she couldn't possibly see.

”And next time, close the door once you're done watching me.”

Hearing his words, Y/N's mouth opened as she realized what he implied, eyes widening at the sense of seemingly innocent sentence. Her cheeks turned crimson red, as she blushed fiercely. Tommy stood in the doorway for a moment longer, knowing the upper hand he had on her. Knowing that the younger girl was too naïve and shy to speak up against him, to dare to correct him on a topic so sensitive. When he was sure she wouldn't respond, Thomas walked out of her room, closing the door behind him.

Once again, he won, and in that moment, Y/N realized he purposely asked the maid to get her, and left the door open. He wanted her to see.

~~

@iilovedonnatartt @randomcreator-09 @hagarsays @novashelby @wonderlanddreamer @calmingmelody96

guys send me some requests for little DRABBLES

Smut/angst/fluff anything!

The characters I'll write for:

• Tommy Shelby

• Lenny Miller

• Jonathan Crane

• Neil Lewis

• Robert Fischer

• Jackson Rippner

• Raymond Leon

• Jim (TDS)

etc

I am become boop, the destroyer of worlds.

yeah girl I know it’s whatever cause you don’t even care about YOURSELF OR YOUR MIND it has to be whatever that’s your only option right now

Precious girl if I gave a single fuck about people like you, I'd absolutely be sitting by some city centre now begging for pennies. I'm way higher despite all the setbacks and sweet little anons like you don't matter in real life nor online. You get what I will serve you, just like other authors here. Because you're on the receiving end of everything you're frustrated but well. I promise life gets better. Another reason of why there's space for growth and that's what I wish you. Growth.

Happy new year,

Kill xx

You ever just... yell about #raymond leon??

This is the magic lucky word count. Reblog for creativity juice. It might even work, who knows.