So Glad We're Now Living In A Great Parallel Universe Where Mom And Dad Are Not Divorced And They Picked

snail jizzie is real

I see your creaking Etho and raise you creaking Cub. He must personify the horrors again.

Thiiiiiiiissss!^^^^^^

Why are all the Grian/Bigb fics on AO3 just Scar angst over the cheating :(

It wasn't even really angsty in canon, in fact Scar's canon view of the situation is much more interesting than the fanon angst version imo. He basically thought of it as Grian doing something frivolous and petty to get at him. Scar believed that at the end of the day it wouldn't matter because him and Grian have and always will be linked after Third Life. Which made Bigb inconsequential in Scar's eyes. He couldn't see any posssiblity that Grian may truly like Bigb. In Scar's eyes BigB was just something that was temporarily distracting Grian before he would eventually came back to Scar. Sure he still decided to make Grian feel guilty now and then, had to be petty back, but his mindset wasn't the angsty sad pining the fandom loves.

Basically Double Life Desert Duo was unhealthy but in a much more complex and mutually toxic way than the fandom likes to present in fanon. Also Biggri is just a rarepair I really enjoy and I want to read something that isn't focused on cheating or Scarian. *Sigh* I guess I'll just have to write it for myself at some point.

the car

836 words

to be honest, joel kind of expected it to be fancier; he’s a winner, after all- you’d probably want to have something nicer than a black void to bask in your glory. he thought- well, he’s not sure he had any specific thoughts about what it'd look like, but he guessed there'd be stuff like sofas and a snooker table or something—a party room, y’know? an endless void is a bit dull in comparison, especially considering the game he just won- although, anything would be dull in comparison to that game, wouldn’t it?

HE DID IT I KNEW HE COULD LOOK AT MY GUY GO

to be honest, joel kind of expected it to be fancier; he’s a winner, after all- you’d probably want to have something nicer than a black void to bask in your glory. he thought- well, he’s not sure he had any specific thoughts about what it'd look like, but he guessed there'd be stuff like sofas and a snooker table or something—a party room, y’know? an endless void is a bit dull in comparison, especially considering the game he just won- although, anything would be dull in comparison to that game, wouldn’t it?

there's a collection of voices that is beginning to come into range, still too far away to make out anything distinct, but they seem to be arguing over something. as he walks (though- he’s not sure he is actually walking. he’s not sure he has a physical form anymore), he can make out a word or two, none of them sensical: something about a comet and jupiter? whatever that means. joel isn’t super sure he was meant to hear it- or even understand it; the words seem to be garbled and warped, and feel far too loud for his ears even as they begin to fade out.

joel keeps walking, because honestly he’s not really sure what else to do. did he miss something? was there actually a party room at the start that he walked past by accident? he probably should have asked more questions when grian and pearl talked about winning in limited and secret life, because he’s completely lost right now- both metaphorically and literally. where exactly is he?

more voices are slowly becoming audible, and joel braces himself until he realises that he recognises them—has he finally found the game room? they'd better have a snooker table, after all he’s been through to just find the stupid place. honestly, this was harder than winning in the first place- they should put up some signs or something.

joel doesn't have time to make this complaint aloud, because all of a sudden, something bowls into him- someone apparently, as they throw their arms around him. "you did it!" grian's voice laughs, sounding genuinely happy.

joel grins, hugging him back—which is weird, when you can’t see anything. maybe it's not a void, and he’s just blind for some reason. "I won!" he crows, pride bubbling up in his chest. "I didn’t think I would- it took me long enough!"

"congratulations, beans!" scar's voice comes from somewhere in front of him, cheery, considering the context. 

"thanks." joel pulls back and finds that his sight seems to have returned. 

the void still surrounds them, but weirder still, everyone seems to look identical to- oh. when they won. grian's hands and face are bloodstained, scott has a lightning scar across his face, pearl's hoodie is instead a singed scarlet cloak, martyn is all piratey and bloody, scar's ebony cloak is lined with poppies and lilacs, and cleo's joints have puppet strings trailing from them. 

joel glances down to see purple-tinted veins crawling up his hands and arms, and his stomach drops until he remembers that he’s already dead. "okay. weird."

"that'll be from the ender pearls." scott supplies. joel is honestly a little thankful that his creaking eyes have gone; they were creepy. "I- d'you know they’re already arguing?"

"well he’s less intuitive than us." grian shrugs, gesturing to joel as if that makes any sense at all. "they've been arguing since martyn."

cleo snorts. "they still haven't agreed on anything." they point upwards, and joel is very confused. "after you three, anyway."

"it stopped being as snappy once I came along though." martyn points out, and everyone but joel seems to understand what he's talking about. "sun, stars, moon- then what? we can’t do the whole solar system and every planet's moon."

scar laughs. "they were talking about- stages of grief or something by the time I won."

"yeah!" pearl points a finger at scar excitedly. "I overheard someone mention the seven deadly sins earlier. didn’t catch much, but you’re meant to be glutton." she elbows martyn, who scoffs indignantly. 

"sounds about right." cleo says, laughing as martyn makes a noise of protest that sounds very much like a squawk. 

joel blinks. "well, I have no idea what you guys are on about, but whatever I am it's a car." he folds his arms, in the hopes that no one is gonna try to argue with him, because he has absolutely no clue what he's signing up for. 

there's a pause. 

"a.. car?" scott frowns, apparently appalled by the concept—which joel finds hilarious and makes him want to be a car even more. 

"yeah." joel says confidently. "joel toretto- fast and furious, y’know?" 

grian cackles and pearl grins along. "sure- a car. i’m sure they'll all agree."

joel shrugs, still unsure about who 'they' are at all, but he appears to be signing himself up for something funny at least. "you never know. if they’re smart they'll pick a car."

It’s like this video was tailor made to cater to my interests specifically.

i can't even caption this clip from jimmy's video rn. why can he not be normal. why are all of joel and etho's friends borderline shipping them. why aren't They normal. I'm DONE

I headcannon that Etho has traitorous ears

That mask is doing nuthin’ for him.

It took so long but I now have a Tango design. This is a huge milestone I spent four hours on this drawing but this was years in the making I’ve wanted to draw him for so long but didn’t have a design.

I kinda hate it, but I spent too long on this not to post it. Tango is one of my favorite lifers/hermits, but I literally never draw him because I can’t figure out a design I like. Also I tried a new thing where I drew it grayscale first and then colored underneath the shading, and idk how I feel about it, but it was fun so I might do it again. Also I’m in the early learning phases of learning how to draw semi-realistically so um ignore the fact that his face is real derpy. Also if anyone has seen tango’s nose he appears to be missing it and would probably like it back now.

grayscale ver under cut vvvvv

guys I think these two are neat (tumblr butchered the quality and then put it in a blender with some fruit and made a smoothie and then fed it to the trees so don’t blame me if it looks bad)

They are everything <3

look at my boooooys!!!! LOOK. AT. THEM. The power of umm power compels you!!

I’m currently in my biggri obsession arc. Missing them fr.