I Swear To God, If I Wasn't A Procrastinator, And Also Fixed All My Mental Problems, Y'all Would Be Drowning

I swear to god, if I wasn't a procrastinator, and also fixed all my mental problems, y'all would be drowning in cringe-ass fics I've been daydreaming about since I was like 11.5

I'm not running out of HCs or silly scenarios, Just the energy it takes to blog them.

I love you all and I love this fandom I swear, I still think about it 24/7 I'm not going anywhere.

More Posts from Unorthodoxiguana and Others

10 months ago

Slapstick romance

Domino and Adam are meant to be a toxic couple but in a very silly and unserious way. I did not expect people to accuse me endorsing abuse.


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1 year ago

I don't actually live near a library, as I live in a pretty rural village. But damn, I wish I do. Something about them just sounds so enchanting, rows upon rows of weathered and worn books, passed down from holder to holder. Even to someone who's unfortunately lost their spark for reading, it sounds like paradise.

unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
3 months ago

Anyone else just realise that Miguel's suit is a projection because he's trying to project his ideas about how things like the Canon and Spider-people are meant to be?


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1 year ago

So, a brief expansion on this because this has always been lurking in the background of my mind:

-Version of the Underland called the Wild Woods (yes very original name I know), creepy, forest-covered, Transylvania-like place

-Only accessible via paths hidden deep within big forests across the planet, no other way in (or out)

-No day, only night

-Populated by vampires (underlanders), werewolves (gnawers), maybe Arachne-like spider-monsters (spinners), and so on and so on

-Various possibilities for Gregor: Fallen angel, Wendigo, Monster-hunter who switches sides, paranormal investigator, just a confused kid who stumbled down the wrong path with his sister while walking in the forest, etc

-Dire wolf Bane? But a bigger dire wolf? Like, elephant-sized?

-Ragers could be people cursed by some kind of blood frenzy, or maybe possession by some kind of demon/ghost

-Possibly throw in some oracle-magic for Nerissa and Sandwhich

So yeah, pretty much all I have down for this weird folklore-ish au of the Underland Chronicles. Thoughts?

*whispers* werewolf!gregor au


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8 months ago

Percy: Yeah, I'm arguably one of, if not THE, strongest demigo-

Some random fucking Hermes kid from 2,000 years ago:

Percy: Yeah, I'm Arguably One Of, If Not THE, Strongest Demigo-

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10 months ago

Show Don't Tell - Symptoms vs. the Affliction

              Another way to think of show don’t tell is to describe the symptoms rather than tell the affliction. You could say someone was close to fainting—or you could describe their symptoms and trust the readers to understand what they mean: the world swirled around her head, her ears beginning to hum lowly, then louder, increasing into a high-pitched ring. She took a deep breath, her stomach turning over itself. Etc.

              Symptoms can also mean the lump in your throat as a “symptom” of being sad enough to cry, or the warmth of your face as a “symptom” of embarrassment.

              That might sound a bit silly, but I find it really helpful when I’m reading over mine or others work and looking for those places where showing would be better than telling. Have you described the symptoms, or just told the affliction?

              Here’s a short list of “afflictions” and their associated “symptoms” to get you started (but make sure to explore how different characters express different afflictions, even in more odd or unusual ways!)

Show Don't Tell - Symptoms Vs. The Affliction

Any symptoms I missed?            

I Will Edit and Give Feedback on Your Writing For Free
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Hello all! As many of you know, I’m a part-time editor of non-fiction and writer of all things fiction, but I would love to get more experi

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11 months ago

mmmm, writer juice

One of the best writing advice I have gotten in all the months I have been writing is "if you can't go anywhere from a sentence, the problem isn't in you, it's in the last sentence." and I'm mad because it works so well and barely anyone talks about it. If you're stuck at a line, go back. Backspace those last two lines and write it from another angle or take it to some other route. You're stuck because you thought up to that exact sentence and nothing after that. Well, delete that sentence, make your brain think because the dead end is gone. It has worked wonders for me for so long it's unreal

1 month ago

Kellen spent the the first half of his life having complete faith in Jan'tep propaganda whilst living a privileged lifestyle.

Kellen spent the second half of his life on the run, juggling his survival with the expectations of those around him.

Kellen is usually surrounded by people who are functioning adults that know who they are, what they want (unlike Kellen who doesn't), and often demand something of him, regardless of which half of his life you are talking about.

People constantly criticise Kellen's immaturity.

What the fuck.


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1 year ago
He's Pan

He's pan

good evening! ripred the gnawer is trans


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4 months ago

few things more humbling than the realization that you really do write the same fic(s) over and over again


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unorthodoxiguana - Shit-rant time
Shit-rant time

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