You have been sentenced to death in a magical court. The court allows all prisoners to pick how they die and they will carry it out immediately. You have it all figured out until the prisoner before you picks old age and is instantly transformed into a dying old man. Your turn approaches.
Okay but like Aziraphale asking Crowley for things isn't just for Aziraphale. In fact it's often something Aziraphale does for Crowley. If Aziraphale asks, even wordlessly, this creates a scenario where Crowley is allowed to do something nice for someone while being allowed to hide it behind the context of an eye roll or an if you insist. It puts a degree of removal between Crowley and the act itself that makes it easier and safer for him to do. Crowley likes to do nice things. Aziraphale knows this. Just like Crowley knows Aziraphale likes to be cared for. They've stumbled this way into this mutually beneficial act where Aziraphale gets to indulge in being indulged and Crowley gets to indulge in doing the indulging - which are both things they do not normally get to indulge in - because they're complimentary even in this.
Asking the being that just quoted poetry at you to save this dying play you're both watching. Creating scenarios for him to rescue you when you know he loves the chance to get to save someone for once. Letting him drive you both around in his fancy new machine he's so delightfully proud of even though you got a license the same year he got the car. Asking him to remove a stain so he can act like you're the dramatic one while taking all the joy in theatrically removing it for you. They're all acts of mutual care and love. Because they're both so hopelessly smitten with another they can't help themselves from indulging the other.
Because where something comes from matters.
big takeaway from 'cant separate art from artist' talk is that some buds have VERY hard time recognizing art is not static and its meaning changes over time. they sarcastically ask 'so if you find out someone is bad their art somehow gets worse?' UH YEAH BUD THAT IS EXACTLY IT
seen things like: 'okay you listen to song and AT FIRST you love it then you learn its by charlie manson you cant just suddenly say now its bad' as if this is gotcha moment. i assure you bud i absolutely CAN suddenly say its bad now thats literally how artistic experience works
BUD WITH EYEROLL: 'so you are saying art changes based on what you know or dont know about who made it like some objective constantly evolving thing just because of how it makes you feel?' CHUCK: 'yes now you are just describing art now over and over again as if you are making a point'
In solidarity....
Hi Neil,
Would you recommend buying strike apparel at WGAStrikeShirts.com to support the strike? Or is the apparel for WGA members only?
Buy it and support us.
💓
no matter what kind of art you make, whether it be music, paintings, photography, drawings, ceramics, writings, etc. you are an artist.
no matter how often you make art, you are an artist.
no matter your skill level, you are an artist.
no matter how long you've been making art, you are an artist.
no matter how old you are, you are an artist.
no matter how long it takes you to complete an artwork, you are an artist.
art is about expression. it isn't a race, competition, or anything like that.
create art that you want to create, as long as it does not harm others.
try not to compare your art to others'. try to instead compare it to your own previous artworks.
congratulate yourself on your progress.
it is okay to take breaks from making art. your health and needs come first.
To the trans person reading this,
You are worthy, you are valid and you are loved. You matter so so much, and if you are in a enviroment that is not good for your health, I hope you get to be somewhere better soon. I hope you have people that support you, but if you haven’t yet, know that there are people out there who will love and support you. There are people out there with warm hearts and gentle eyes that will welcome you into their lives with open arms and always have a spot for you at the table. You deserve to live a full and authentic life. 🌸
Still bothered by the US cultural idea that men can only be non-romantically intimate with one another in war-like or competitive circumstances.
No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly
trauma doesn’t often feel like trauma is ‘supposed’ to feel. it feels like indifferent detachment, watching from outside yourself because nothing can hurt you there. it feels normal, just how people interact, so why are you making a big deal about it?  it feels like a joke – just how kids play, just how adults tease, just how some relationships work.
you wake from nightmares five years later and still wonder if you made it all up.
trauma can look like bad behaviour. like the stubborn refusal to get better, to stop self-destructing. trauma is putting yourself in harm’s way because you don’t really mean it, or because it’s funny, or because you just want to feel something, or because you just want to stop feeling. it’s wanting to destroy and reassemble yourself into another person entirely, so your real life can begin. because this isn’t real. because really bad things don’t happen to people like you.
trauma is the constant feeling of being an impostor. it’s the drive to survive twinned with the impulse to make yourself more sick in more ways. to hurt yourself to prove how bad you feel, or to punish yourself for exaggerating. you want people to believe what you’ve been through, to tell you your feelings are real, that your memories really happened. but when people do take you seriously, you play it off as a joke, apologize for bringing the mood down.
you go on and on about how it wasn’t that bad. you seek permission to still love the ones who hurt you, because it’s the people closest to us who can hurt us most deeply.
you can feel like the people who hurt you are the only ones who really knew you. in low self esteem, you can mistake cruelty for honesty.
there will always be people who have been through worse. that doesn’t make what happened to you okay.
there will always be people who don’t believe you. that doesn’t mean you are lying.
at some point, you have to take yourself seriously. you have to make a life you can stand to live. it’s the only way to survive.
Truth 💓
The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love — whether we call it friendship or family or romance — is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back. In our best moments, we are that person for another.
-James Baldwin