After Being Raised In Abuse, It Can Take A Long Time To Even Notice That You’re Uncomfortable With

Idk who needs to hear this, but you are not damaged goods, you are not less than and you are not bread that is several days old. You are still you, you are worthy and will always be. You are wanted and you are needed, sometimes it is just a matter of figuring out where you fit in. You deserve to be appreciated and to feel appreciated, and you will, you just gotta hang in there and don’t give up. 🌸

together, soft, shining ✨

FANTASTIC.

Saving people, hunting things

I had this in mind for happening sometime after Stanford manages to somehow un-goldify himself.

Sorry, Eight Ball but not really

Yesterday I almost cried because my baby cousin ran up to my grandmother and was like. “Ha! Buhbuh ba ha.” And she said okay you want to show me something? And he led her over to the garden patch and crouched down and pointed at rocks and plants and was like. “Ah. Habah ba ah” as she listened attentively.

And I was like that happened 1,000 years ago. Probably 10,000 years ago. Maybe 100,000. The youngest human in a group went to the oldest one and said to the best of their ability “come see.” And the adult went.

15-year-old Rolesville student slammed to ground by school officer: “I was in shock”.

In a video posted on Twitter by a Rolesville student, a school officer can be seen lifting 15-year-old Jasmine Darwin and slamming her to the floor.

Jasmine says she saw her sister fighting another student and rushed to break up the altercation. Then the officer grabbed her from behind and slammer her on the floor.

Ruben De Los Santos, the officer seen in the video and a member of the Rolesville Police Department has been placed on paid administrative leave. 

Sources (x/x)

icant even explain why i feel this way about it but this meme, this specific version, just makes me so emotional i love it so so much. its very heartwarming. peace n love on planet earth

Accurate.

time with complex trauma is like. i need to do everything all at once and if i don't i'm a failure, even if there's nothing to do. three months ago feels like yesterday but i can hardly remember yesterday anyway. i'm running out of time. for what? i don't know. i need everything to slow down but my life is so stagnant. i can't go to sleep because the day can't end, but i need the day to end or i'll go insane. i'm constantly worrying about the future but it feels like i have no future. i'm running out of time. for what? i don't know. time has no meaning but every second is the end of the world.

or is this just me?

Every single time abuse victims gather the courage to speak about their abuse, they’re not doing something simple and easy for them. They’re going against everything they’ve been conditioned and groomed into.

Every abused person has been forced by their abuser into some form of secrecy; maybe they promised, or they swore they wouldn’t tell, or maybe they were intimidated, threatened into silence, or the worst one, blamed and forced to acknowledge the abuse is their fault, making it so much more terrifying to tell someone, because telling then becomes an admission of their own guilt. And abuse universally makes victims feel ashamed. Because to admit they were powerless and cornered and dehumanized, it risks so much ostracizing and judging by others who do not want to acknowledge it’s possible to be in such a situation and to be able to do nothing about it. People will prefer to turn their back to victims, than to accept it can happen to anyone, even them, and that nothing they do could possibly prevent it.

Sometimes, the abuse will be too horrible to talk about, or to even think about. Sometimes, mere thoughts of it force a person into a panic attack, or a fight-or-flight mode. Some trauma can make us black out. Sometimes just thinking about it is unbearable and makes us wish we weren’t alive for it.

To go against all of that, and to trust someone to listen, acknowledge it, take us seriously, and sides with us, it’s a huge risk. We risk every single retribution from the abuser, we risk our own emotional and mental state, we risk venturing into the unknown territory of having someone else know our most painful, shameful and vulnerable moments, it’s a risk not everyone can make.

For a person to side against us, after we’ve done all this work in order to be able to speak, is devastating. For someone to call us liars, to accuse us of ulterior motives, of making it up to hurt the abuser, of wanting attention, of burdening them with this, it’s almost unbearable punishment for speaking out. Even worse, siding with abuser and agreeing they had the right to do this, or that it is our fault, it’s the worst possible scenario. It inflicts incredible damage on our lives. Makes it impossible to speak out again. It’s often a risk of speaking out in horrible desperation, only to be silenced forever.

And sometimes, it doesn’t even matter if we want to speak out, because there’s nobody who could help us. Our friends, acquaintances, peers, authorities, we can tell they will do nothing even if they knew. We can tell they will easily side with the abusers, because we heard them supporting the same rhetoric abusers use to justify themselves. Even if they felt sorry for us, we can tell they’re not going to do anything to help. For some, the knowledge of the abuse would only be a burden we don’t want to inflict.

You are not at fault for staying silent. You are not responsible or guilty of a sin if you never told anyone. You are not responsible for the abuser’s actions. You are not responsible for anything. Chances to speak out were either denied or ridiculously risky and/or hopeless to grant you rescue. Even if you stayed silent because your abuser lied and threatened you, you had no way to know for sure. You couldn’t have risked what little safety you had for the possibility of being hurt even worse. You’ve walked with this on your shoulders for so long, you should get to put it down without risking a thing.

All-New Wolverine #21

I hope the next months bring you the courage to do something you have been dreading to do, that you recover a bit, that you can feel less pain and more love, that you can find some solutions to your problems, and find new opportunities to grow and live a better life according to your own needs and desires. I hope you develop beautiful friendships and that the relationships you already have keep improving. I hope you get to try new things you have dreamed of. I hope you feel more safe and secure. I hope you feel more confident in your own abilities. I have hope. I will try. Please have hope. Please try.