Back On My Bullshit

andrew after a nightmare and unable to stand touch, but he still needs neil. so neil stares at the ceiling and talks. not about exy, not small talk. he says what’s on his mind, he tells stories from his past (good and bad), he just fills the silence. and eventually, andrew reaches over and places two fingers on neil’s neck and focuses on his pulse. focuses on the life that this man radiates, this man that chooses him every day and stays with him and respects his boundaries and talks into the dark on andrew’s bad nights because he knows that andrew needs to be rooted in the present but he can’t grab his neck the way andrew grabs his, so the liar tells truths for free.

okay but andrew thinking that neil was just a side-effect of the drugs just-

he thought that neil was too good to be true, that there was no way he could actually be real 

he probably braced himself for bitter disappointment when he was going through withdrawal, was probably expecting to feel apathy towards everyone and everything yet again

but then neil was there and he was just as interesting as before

he still cared about andrew

he respected andrew’s boundaries

he didn’t run

he kept his promises

the man with a plethora of secrets willingly opened about his life, unprompted, for three hours on the bus

like

how did andrew come to terms with the fact that neil wasn’t a pipedream, he wasn’t too good to be true?? 

how did he accept that neil chose him and he wasn’t backing out, wasn’t leaving??? 

how long did it take him to stop expecting neil to abandon him? 

how long did it take him to realize that neil was permanent?

and for how long did andrew think that he didn’t deserve any of it?

Fanfic Tag Game

Thanks @archiveofourfoxes for the tag :)

Author name: twirlingflurry

Fandoms I write for: all for the game (and one harry potter marauders era)

Most Popular One Shot: Flowers Covered in Thorns by hits and kudos

Most Popular Multi-Chapter: The World Has Somehow Shifted (also the only multi-chapter i have posted so far)

Favourite Story I Wrote: Flowers Covered in Thorns because i spent the most editing this one and also i just loved the prompt and the scenes that i chose. most proud of this one for sure

Story I Was Nervous to Post: Rooftops and Mourning because it was the first aftg fic that i ever posted and i was anxious to see how it would be received

How Do I Pick My Titles: either it slaps me over the head and i think “perfect!!!” or i think of nothing for 2-3 business days and have to make a list and pick the one i hate the least

Do I Outline: HAHHA i wish i was that organized. i normally have a one sentence blurb to remind me of the vibe of the fic, and sometimes i’ll add bullet points of important things i don’t want to forget, but i rarely actually outline

How Many of My Stories are Complete: out of my published works, three of the four are complete

In Progress: four, but i only have solid plans to post one of them

Coming Soon: hopefully bubble bath andreil!!

Do I Accept Prompts: absolutely!! it might take me a bit to get to them, but prompts are definitely welcome

Upcoming Story I Am the Most Excited For: bubble bath andreil probably hahha

tagging: @unholy-goddess @lacuniaa @iamagentcoop @knox-knocks

Fanfic Tagging Game ;)

I was tagged by @fullyvisible. Thank you, this is probably the most fun I've had with a tagging game! 💜

Author name: JayJFox

Fandoms you write for: All for the game

Most popular one-shot: The Photo Strip Predicament (it's an untypically sweet of me high school AU in which the twins don't know each other yet. Aaron really really hates Neil and then a photo of them kissing circulates around the school. Spoiler alert: it's not Aaron in the pic. 😅

Most popular multi-chapter: Based on kudos: Was Sorta Hopin' That You'd Stay - enemies to lovers Andreil + neighbor prank wars, honestly, this is the funniest one I've written. Based on hits: North Star - post-break-up Andreil fic, lots of angst. Love me some angst. 🤷‍♀️

Favorite story you wrote: Uh, toughie... I got a few that I love equally but I'll pick the one I wrote for myself as a birthday gift, also it's my favorite ship: Like A Wildfire Burning Up Inside My Lungs. (KevJean 'And they were roommates' fic where Kevin asks Jeans to teach him how to flirt. Fun. 😅)

Story you were nervous to post: All of them? I'm always so eager to post but at the same time, I need a pep talk to myself before I hit the post button.

How do you pick your titles: Song lyrics mostly. 😅

Do you outline: Most of my fics have a very vague outline. For a couple of them, I did a more detailed one, though.

How many of your stories are complete:  Don't call me out like that! *staring at all my unfinished fics in AO3* 😂

In-progress: Oh gee... Okay. Fics: 5 partially posted, 1 brand new. Original stuff: 3 projects and even though this is my fanfic account, I'm probably gonna scream about it here if any of them gets a shot at publishing. JSYK. 🤷‍♀️😂

Coming Soon: Vigilante Neil / crime podcaster Andrew. Lots of angst again because of course.

Do you accept prompts: No one's ever asked me for one, but sure.

Upcoming story you are the most excited for: Well, apart from my partially posted ones, there's only one in the making soooo: Vigilante Neil / crime podcaster Andrew again.

Tag five fanfic authors to answer the questions: @knickknacksandallthat @mystrana @rapunzellex @paradoxolotl @rainbow-0bsidian if you want to play! Actually, anyone who wants to give it a shot! I'm curious! Loved this one a bunch!

reblog this with what comes up in your tags when you type gay

the real reason seth had to die wasn’t so that the team could all work together and make it to the finals, bc honestly i bet they could’ve done that with seth there. no, it’s because he was way too hetero

nicky: honestly if you're short just grow

andrew, knife already in hand: famous last words

Can you write an angsty raven!neil fic? I will love you 121%.

it’s in my list of fics to write <3 you’ll be the first to know when i (re)start it

“My child is fine” your child runs a AFTG blog on tumblr

it’s the way that the foxes didn’t stay anywhere overnight all year and instead drove home in the middle of the night every single time to avoid being stuck somewhere unfamiliar, but they willingly stayed at a hotel when neil was taken and would’ve been fine with booking a second night when he came back to them if that’s what he wanted. like andrew would’ve stabbed them if they even thought about leaving, but the best part is that he didn’t even have to. i’m sorry i’m just crying

do you think neil josten likes garlic bread