Little Does Bill Know, Mr. Tummy Has A Twin Brother Named Mr. Yummy

HI BILL! *I bow down before him* my king~ may I have a hug and a kiss please? I'll make a deal with you! My soul to you in return for a hug and kiss! (and maybe be with you forever~)

HAHAHA! HEY THERE, YA LOVESICK MEATSACK! YOU CERTAINLY ARE DESPERATE FOR A LITTLE LOVIN', ARENTCHA? SACRIFICING YOUR PRECIOUS SOUL JUST FOR LIL' OL' ME? WELL, IM FLATTERED! JUST SHAKE MY HAND, I'LL GIVE YOU ALL THE LOVIN' YOU WANT AND THEN SOME! ALL FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF YOUR LITTLE MEAT SUIT! HOW'S THAT SOUND, KID?

uh oh spaghettiohs

very excited for the silly straws chapter in specific, THAT'S were the REAL content is at

Love how Ford and Bill bicker like an old divorced couple

Ford said, "I wrote about it in... my first journal..." 

"Ah," Bill said. "You mean the incinerated one." He said it so coolly, like he wasn't the one who incinerated it.

"Actually," Mabel said, "after everything went back to normal, Grunkle Ford's journals got un-incinerated!"

Bill made a poor show of trying not to look surprised. "You don't say."

"Yeah, good as new! They regrew their torn pages and everything," Mabel said. "And... then we kinda chucked them into the bottomless pit."

Bill cracked up, kicking out a foot in mirth. "You what?! You idiots, don't you know you had an invaluable occult encyclopedia in your hands? The second journal alone was the most important human grimoire of the last five hundred years!"

Ford was too irritated to be flattered. What business did Bill have mocking him, thirty seconds ago Bill had thought he was the one who destroyed the journals. Ford snapped, "I didn't want to keep anything you'd tainted."

He was gratified by how fast Bill stopped laughing. "Then burn down your shack and lobotomize your hippocampus," Bill muttered.

He's like, three seconds away from rubbing his hands on Ford's face and saying "Now you have my cooties. Kill yourself."

Two chapters ago he told Ford he wanted to be friends again.

this is so canon, i would know

Mabel and Bill were sitting on the couch when Soos passed from the gift shop through the living room. As Soos passed, Bill was saying, "No, I just don't see relationships as eternal. Romance is a short term commitment. Like a fashion trend, or, or—"

"Like gum?"

Bill snapped his fingers. "Yes! Exactly like gum!"

As he headed upstairs, Soos heard Mabel say, "So when a romance starts to lose its flavor, you just—" and Bill cut in, "You spit it on the sidewalk, grind it under your heel, and float away without looking back, never thinking about it again..."

A few minutes later, after changing out of his Mr. Mystery suit into a more comfortable question mark t-shirt, Soos headed back downstairs. Bill was still talking: "... and all you get out of it is sickly sweet spit, you're just—swallowing all this sweet spit until it makes your mouth sour and it's dripping out around your eye, and it makes you hungrier than if you'd never eaten at all, and all your friends say 'oh Bill, you're always griping about your gum, why don't you settle down to eat a proper meal,' and you say 'how about you mind your own business, Kryptos, I don't lecture you about your diet,' and then your other friends accuse you of choosing inedible snacks so you don't have to commit to swallowing them, because they don't get that you're a flawless energy being, you don't need 'nutrition' or 'sustenance,' this is just a hobby to you—and then you just, you get sick of the taste of gum altogether, you never want to chew gum again as long as you live, it's always so needy and your jaw hurts, and it's your fault if you can't focus on chewing the stupid thing all day every day, like maybe you have a life of your own, did anyone consider that? So you burn down a gum factory so you don't have to look at their stupid ads! And then an eon later you find yourself craving a stick of gum, so you find a different brand and cram a new one in."

Mabel, who'd been listening to Bill's monologue in wide-eyed stunned silence, finally smiled in relief as he landed on a familiar sentiment. She pumped her fist in the air. "Yeah! Cram a new one in!"

"You get me, kid."

I think there might be something wrong with Bill.

You can only REBLOG THIS TODAY

The eyes of the galaxy...

Liam thought it's cute but also concerning because how high his little brother looks

imagine fighting God and this guy pulls out this shit 😭🙏

my favorite healer of all time

cracks a cold one on the battlefield

+743 HP

have a bip. as a treat

Portal Era nuisance

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